by Lucy Clark
‘I’ll be fine,’ he said, and she realised he wanted her gone.
Nicolette forced a smile. ‘Goodnight, then.’ She headed out of the room, not stopping until she’d entered his bedroom and shut the door behind her. Oh, this was not good, this was not good. Stephen obviously didn’t want to kiss her again and she started to wonder why. Had it just been a moment of weakness, especially after the stress he’d been through? No. He’d almost kissed her before they’d gone to rescue Stephanie, so why hadn’t he wanted to repeat it?
‘Stop.’ Nicolette walked over to her bag of clothes and pulled out a set of comfortable warm pyjamas. ‘Don’t go down this track again. It happens every time you get interested in a guy and then you end up hurt. Haven’t you learnt your lesson at all?’ She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. ‘He kissed you, it was fantastic but that’s it. That’s where it ends. You’re colleagues and that’s it.’
Nicolette took her clothes and went to the door. She opened it a little to check Stephen wasn’t around then quickly went across the hall to the bathroom. After a very quick shower she changed for bed and brushed her teeth. There was no need to check on her patients again and if she did, she’d just be inviting another awkward moment with Stephen.
She returned to his room and set the alarm, not for the morning but to wake her up in an hour’s time so she could check on them. Nicolette took the torch she’d packed out of her bag and placed it on the bedside table. Then she stopped and admired the furniture in the room. The bed frame, the wardrobe and dresser and bedside tables. She reached out and touched a hand lovingly to the wood, marvelling at Stephen’s skill.
If this was how he worked with wood, she couldn’t wait to see his paintings. She could just imagine the intricate detail in his work, the same detail he brought to everything he did, whether it was treating a patient, painting a room or…or kissing. Yes, he certainly focused on detail when he was kissing.
She must get that thought out of her head.
Nicolette left the bedroom door open, not only to let some heat into the room but to make it easier when she needed to check on her patients. She climbed under the covers, pulling her own pillow into place, feeling glad she’d brought it as Stephen had snagged all but two throw cushions for himself and Stephanie.
It wasn’t hard to get comfortable when she had so much room to spread out, and she forced herself not to think romantically of her present reality—that she was sleeping in Stephen’s bed. This was where he slept every night, in this bed which he’d carefully and painstakingly made. She pushed the thought from her mind and closed her eyes, only then realising just how tired she was.
What seemed like only a few minutes later the alarm beeped and Nicolette was surprised to find an hour had indeed passed. She yawned and picked up her torch, padding quietly out to the living room. Thankfully, Stephen was asleep and she listened carefully to them both breathing. His natural breathing was sure and steady so she left them alone and went back to bed, setting the alarm for another hour hence.
After her third trip out she allowed herself to sleep for two hours, satisfied with the status of both her patients. She climbed back beneath the covers, too tired to control her thoughts, and allowed memories of Stephen’s kisses to flow freely.
Stephen woke, unsure where he was for a moment. He lay still as he took in his surroundings and then he remembered everything. He sat up and checked his sister, kissing her forehead when he realised she was still deep in sleep and breathing normally. Next he checked the fire to ensure they stayed warm.
He walked to the kitchen and had a drink of water before grabbing a torch to find where Nicolette had left the salbutamol inhaler. He took two more puffs as his chest felt a little tight again. Then, as though drawn by some invisible force, he found himself heading up the hallway towards his bedroom. He knew he shouldn’t do it, and he knew the image of Nicolette in his bed would remain imprinted on his mind for ever, but he had to see her. He told himself he was checking on her to make sure she was sleeping OK. After all, she, too, had had a stressful evening.
He also knew he was lying to himself. He wanted to see what she looked like in his bed.
The door was open and the heavy curtains he’d put up yesterday were closed to keep out as much cold as possible. Although the fire had taken the chill out the air, he was surprised at how much colder it was in here compared to the living room, where he’d been sweltering.
Stephen flicked on the torch, quietly walked over to the bed and peered down. He frowned, unable to see her. He looked over his shoulder. Was she up? He listened. No. No sounds. He looked at the bed again and the next instant he saw the covers move. She looked tiny in his bed.
He could just see her now, her blonde hair peeking out from the top of the dark blue doona as she slept on her special pillow. She looked about eighteen years old and totally vulnerable. Her breathing was calm and he knew he should go…but he couldn’t.
He stood there, trying to figure out how this woman had become so important to him in such a short space of time yet when he thought about it, how well did he know her? Red warning flags had been waving in his subconscious throughout the day…warnings that she was getting too close, that she was breaking down his barriers.
But had that stopped him from kissing her? No. Stephen shook his head, unable to believe just how mesmerised he was by her. He’d given in to the overwhelming desire to feel her mouth against his—something he’d been wanting to do all day long—and he hadn’t been disappointed. In fact, he’d wanted to kiss her again and again and again, and each time he had that urge, another flag went up. She was getting too close.
He needed to leave. Now! He knew that, it was the logical thing to do, but he couldn’t move. She looked so incredibly vulnerable, lying there sleeping. Had she thought the same thing when she’d checked on him?
He needed to leave. The words repeated themselves in his mind and this time he forced himself to shift back from the bed. Before he left he checked the alarm clock to see if she’d remembered to set it. The last thing she needed in the morning was to be late for work. He frowned when he saw the time she’d set. Four o’clock!
Stephen realised she’d set the time so she could go and check on himself and Steph, but as it was almost four now and he’d just done the check himself, he changed the setting to half past six. That should give her plenty of time to get ready for work, have breakfast and drive to Katoomba. At least she could get a few extra hours’ uninterrupted sleep.
Nicolette shifted again and he held his breath, not wanting her to wake up and find him there. Not only because he might startle her but because he didn’t think he’d be able to resist her when she was all tired and mussed up as he knew she would be. It had been bad enough trying to resist her last night, but as he’d told himself over and over, a romantic relationship had no place in his life right now. He was in the middle of making one of his dreams come true—owning his own medical practice. He didn’t need complications in the form of a blonde bombshell.
Speaking of blonde, from the way she’d shifted, her hair was lying spread out on the pillow and the urge to touch it was extreme. Stephen reached out, tenderly letting his fingertips touch the soft strands before he pulled away. The tightening in his gut was another warning signal and he was a man who listened to his instincts. Now, though, he found it almost impossible to turn away from her. She was beautiful, no doubt about it, and his reaction was becoming such as he’d never experienced before. Uncharted territory. That was where he was finding himself and he didn’t like it one bit.
Stephen closed his eyes for a moment, concentrating on how soft her hair had felt, the way the subtle perfume he was coming to associate with her wound its way about him, making his breathing grow shallow. It wouldn’t take much just to bend down and press a kiss to her cheek, but he knew if he did he wouldn’t be able to stop. That was something else he didn’t like.
Opening his eyes, he dropped his hand and took two hug
e steps back, glad the carpet masked his footsteps. Before he could think any more, he turned and headed out of the room, strongly berating himself. Not only would he have the image of her sleeping curled up in his bed but now he knew how soft and silky her hair was.
You’re being drawn deeper into enemy territory, he warned himself as he climbed onto the sofa bed again, doubting that Nicolette was really his enemy. He’d been through far worse experiences than being attracted to a colleague, but he wondered whether this time it might be fatal.
The alarm went off and Nicolette put her hand out to quickly silence it. She sat bolt upright, disorientated for a second before she realised where she was and what she had to do. Grabbing her torch, she headed out to the living room to check on her patients but stopped dead when she got there.
The light was on and Stephanie was sitting up, sipping a cup of coffee, and the other sofa bed had been packed away, the linen folded neatly. There was no sign of Stephen.
‘Where is he?’ She blurted the words out and her friend smiled.
‘He’s just gone outside to get more wood.’
Nicolette crossed to her friend’s side, picking up the stethoscope as she went. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Much better. My over-protective brother has already listened to my chest.’
‘Then you can humour your over-protective friend and let me have a listen, too.’ Nicolette hooked the stethoscope into her ears and was glad when Stephanie obliged. ‘Good. Nice and clear.’ She looked at the bruises and scratches on Stephanie’s arms and legs. ‘You’re going to have some good colour representation here,’ she joked.
‘You’re telling me. I did a good job, that’s all I can say.’
‘You don’t hurt anywhere else?’
‘Not physically.’
Nicolette nodded in understanding. To lose all your belongings was devastating.
‘It’s not just the clothes and shoes and things that upsets me but my photographs, my knick-knacks, my books.’ Tears filled Stephanie’s eyes and Nicolette hugged her. ‘I know I’ll get through it. I know I’ll bounce back. I’m an optimist and I have people like you and Stephen who care about me, but right now it’s just so hard.’
Nicolette squeezed her eyes closed, trying to hold back on her own tears and when she opened them, she looked at the clock on the wall. ‘A quarter to seven!’ She pulled away from Stephanie. ‘That can’t be the time. I set the alarm for four so I could check on you, but I don’t remember it going off.’
‘I changed it.’ The deep voice came from behind her and she spun around to see Stephen standing there, fully dressed, his arms loaded with firewood.
‘What? Why?’
‘Because you needed the sleep just as much as Steph and I did. Besides, I was up just before four, checked on Steph and took some more salbutamol so there was no reason for you to get up to do a four a.m. check.’ He put the firewood down and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets.
Nicolette forced herself to take a breath and relax. ‘OK. Well, I guess I’d better get ready for work.’ She felt a little self-conscious standing in front of Stephen in her pj’s while he was wearing hiking boots, black denim jeans and another great fleecy jumper. His cheeks were mildly pink from the chill outside and once more the sight of him got her blood pumping out of control.
Her heart rate picked up the rhythm and her breathing followed suit. As she shifted, she overbalanced and would have fallen back onto Stephanie if Stephen hadn’t reached out and grabbed her flailing hand. She jerked away from his touch the instant she was steadier on her feet.
‘Thanks.’ The word was brisk and it didn’t sound as though she was thankful at all. Without looking at either of them, she raced from the room back to the sanctuary of Stephen’s bedroom, but even that didn’t bring much relief. The need to get out of his house—and fast—overwhelmed her. Quickly gathering her toiletries and work clothes, she headed for the bathroom.
Half an hour later she emerged, feeling more in control. She packed her things, leaving clothes for Stephanie, and carried her bag to the front door.
‘Leaving before breakfast?’ Again, his deep voice washed over her and she took a long breath in, drawing on all her reserves to get her through the next few minutes. She turned to face him.
‘Yes. I need to stop by my house before going to work.’ She forced a smile. ‘Thank you for your hospitality.’
‘You’re welcome, but you insisted on staying here, from what I can recall.’
‘It was necessary,’ she snapped, her eyes darkening with impatience. Nicolette looked away and shook her head. ‘Sorry, Stephen.’
‘Don’t apologise. I shouldn’t goad you when you’ve been up and down all night, nursing us back to health.’
‘I’d hardly call it that.’
‘You forced me to take the salbutamol. Until you did, I honestly didn’t think I needed it, but I was surprised at how much relief I gained from it. I took some more at four o’clock.’
‘So you said.’
‘I was very good. Didn’t even whinge about it.’ His gaze was quite serious as it met hers. ‘I guess I don’t get a treat for that.’
‘No. The offer has expired.’ Again, they were having a completely different conversation with their bodies and minds than with the words they were speaking.
Stephen nodded. ‘Very wise.’
‘I’ll just say goodbye to Stephanie and then head off.’
‘I’ll get my keys.’
‘No!’ The word was wrenched from her. ‘I’ll walk. It’s not that far.’
‘Nicolette, it’s freezing out there.’
She looked down at the ground. ‘Ce n’est pas bon,’ she mumbled, then, taking a deep, calming breath, she met his gaze once more. ‘I’m fine. Thank you for the offer but I need to go.’ She brushed passed him and went in search of Stephanie.
Why wasn’t it good? Stephen wondered as he translated her mumbled French. The fact that she had to walk home—or the fact that she was fighting the attraction between them as hard as he was? He dragged some air into his lungs at the thought, excited at the prospect that it was mutual but at the same time knowing it would be a mistake. Fighting the attraction was the right and only thing to do if they were both to remain happy and emotionally unscathed.
Nicolette returned a moment later, shrugging into her coat and tying her scarf.
‘Don’t forget your gloves,’ he murmured, picking them up off the floor where they’d fallen from her coat pocket.
‘Thanks.’ Her smile was strained. She picked up the bag and reached for the doorhandle. ‘I’ve left a few things for Stephanie on your bed. I hope you don’t mind.’
‘Not at all. I appreciate the help you’ve given her.’ They were so polite it was almost comical. ‘Don’t slip on the icy ground.’
‘I won’t.’ Nicolette had never been more relieved to leave a place. She walked down the drive and crossed the road, her mind replaying over and over the moments they’d just shared. What would she have done if he’d grabbed her and kissed her? She would have kissed him back, of course. That was why she couldn’t risk him driving her home. The intimacy of the car would only heighten the feelings between them and they both needed to be strong. The brisk morning air swirled around her, not only waking her up but also helping to cool the rising passion she felt for Stephen.
Personally, the last thing she needed was to get romantically involved with someone she was hoping to work closely with in the near future. She needed to be professional because she’d learnt from bitter past experience that business and pleasure just didn’t mix.
It wasn’t hard to avoid Stephen for the next two weeks, although every time she saw Stephanie she would listen intently when his sister mentioned his name.
Stephanie had bounced back, as she’d said she would, and after spending a week with Stephen had moved into a house owned by a friend who lived in Sydney.
‘He usually rents it out when he’s not here, but as the estate
agent hasn’t contacted him to say it has a tenant, he said I could use it for as long as I wanted.’
‘Excellent.’
‘It’s only a block from where I was before so I’m still close to the hospital.’
‘I’m really happy for you.’ Nicolette sipped her coffee. ‘How’s the clothes shopping going?’
‘Very good, actually. Stephen drove me down to Sydney for two days and I shopped until I dropped. It was very therapeutic.’
‘Is that when you had the, um, colour put through your hair?’ Nicolette laughed as she spoke.
‘You don’t like bright green?’ Stephanie ran her fingers over her three millimetres of hair, which was indeed bright green.
‘It’s so…you.’
‘Thank you and also thanks for your donation. We raised heaps of money in our “Shave for a Cure” campaign.’
‘You’re more than welcome. Giving money was easy as I’m nowhere near as brave as you.’
Stephanie laughed and Nicolette realised it was good to see her friend so cheerful again. ‘You’re not the only person who’s said that to me.’ Stephanie’s pager beeped. ‘Ugh,’ she groaned after checking the number. ‘It’s hospital admin. I’ll bet they want to discuss next week’s rosters.’
‘When does the new director arrive?’
‘Saturday and I can’t wait. This will be the last time I have to do those horrible rosters.’
Nicolette nodded and took another sip of her coffee. She was almost one hundred per cent sure Stephen had asked his sister not to roster himself and her together for their stints at the hospital because she hadn’t worked with him for the past two weeks. She wasn’t sure whether she was glad or disappointed so she forced herself to think of something else.
Nothing more had been said to her about his practice and she wondered whether he’d changed his mind about working with her. She knew, if she officially accepted the position, it would mean seeing him every day and she’d been building up her confidence to cope with that. The fact of the matter was, thoughts of him still plagued her dreams and she’d woken every morning since the fire at Stephanie’s house eager to have Stephen’s lips pressed to hers once more. It was ludicrous.