by Lucy Clark
Her hands were at the back of his neck, kneading urgently against his muscles. It was mildly relaxing yet powerful at the same time, and the only thought that kept reverberating around his mind was how badly he needed her…more so with each passing second their lips remained locked together.
Hungrily, they took from each other, knowing this moment needed to last them for ever if they were going to make their professional relationship work. After this there was no going back, and because of that neither was in a hurry to break the embrace.
It was just the two of them. Nothing existed beyond this moment and she found herself wishing for a way to make time stand still. How could she have ever thought she could just be this man’s friend? A friend didn’t create such havoc with her senses. A friend didn’t take her up so high she could see the world spread out before her. A friend didn’t turn everything she’d ever known on its head, but that was exactly what he was doing and she was loving every minute of it.
Loving?
The thought made her pull back and gaze into his face. His eyes snapped open in confusion, both of them breathing rapidly.
‘What’s wrong?’
Nicolette focused on those intense blue eyes—what she could see of them in the dark—and she knew. She knew her emotions were no longer at all platonic where Stephen was concerned. Her emotions were more, much more. In fact, they were everything.
Here, sitting in front of her, was the man she loved.
‘What’s wrong?’ he repeated. ‘Did I hurt you?’ He loosened his grip on her hair, his fingers now gently sifting through her locks in a caress. The action created a relaxing pressure on her scalp but it was his caring, his thoughtfulness and his downright gorgeousness that caused the goose bumps to break out over her skin.
‘I’m fine.’ How was she supposed to tell him? Should she tell him? And if so, what then? ‘I just needed oxygen.’
Stephen smiled, the first real smile without inhibitions, without force and without teasing. It was mind-blowing and she was positive her heart skipped a beat. ‘I guess we got a little carried away.’
‘A little?’ She raised an eyebrow, desperate to cover over her real emotions but at the same time wanting to blurt them out to the whole world. She loved Stephen Brooks. She loved Stephen Brooks! ‘I’d better get inside.’
‘Already?’ The word was out before he could stop it.
‘Stephen.’ She pressed her mouth briefly to his simply because she couldn’t resist the worried little schoolboy look which had just crossed his face. ‘We can’t stay here, making out in the car for the rest of the morning.’ For some reason the knowledge that she loved him had given her extra strength to step away from him, whereas before the kiss, before she’d realised the depth of her true feelings, she’d been clinging to him like a koala. ‘Besides, I have clinic, remember.’
Stephen frowned, his smile vanishing into thin air. ‘I remember.’ His tone was a little gruff yet the touch of his fingers in her hair was still sweet and gentle. ‘We need to get you to bed.’
She couldn’t help the gasp that escaped at the words and she could feel herself blushing, thankful for the darkness around them. ‘Yes.’
Without warning he pressed his mouth to hers once more and both were instantly catapulted back to where they’d been only moments before. This time, though, it wasn’t as hot and hungry as it had been. His mouth moved over hers with a calm satisfaction and a growing sense of familiarity.
The intensity was still there. The desperation was still there and the love she felt for him was still there.
On and on his gentle onslaught went, and this time, instead of her fingers kneading the back of his neck, her hands travelled slowly down, coming to rest on his chest. He could feel his heart pounding and knew she could feel it, too. He didn’t care. He wanted her to know how she affected him, how important she’d become and how he couldn’t possibly risk a relationship with her. She was too delicious, too enigmatic and far too incredible for her own good. He didn’t want to hurt her and he wouldn’t.
‘Tu es sexy,’ he murmured as he broke the kiss, planting small butterfly kisses on her cheeks.
‘Et toi aussi.’
‘Tu es belle et intellegente.’ More butterfly kisses on her neck as he worked his way around to her ear.
She smiled, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the sensations he was evoking. ‘Merci.’ Then she gasped and jerked back so she could look at him. ‘You speak French?’
‘Oui, mademoiselle.’ He nuzzled her, wanting to kiss his way to her other ear.
Nicolette thought of the few times she’d mumbled in French and all this time he’d understood her. Embarrassment touched her briefly but she shrugged it off. That was the least of her worries. Her first and foremost priority—apart from enjoying his kisses way too much—was the fact that she was in love with him! ‘Ça me plaît.’
‘I’m glad you like it.’ His deep voice washed over her.
‘Pas toi?’
‘Me? Of course I like it. I like feeling you beneath my lips, I like feeling the way you respond to me.’
‘Then why are we saying goodbye?’ she urged.
Stephen lifted his head and exhaled sadly. ‘Because we have to, you know that. We discussed it.’
‘Yes, but that was before—’ She stopped. If she told him right now she loved him, she’d probably scare him away. It was clear he didn’t feel the same way about her otherwise he wouldn’t be saying what he was saying. She needed time. Time to think. Time to sort herself out. And she could only do that when she wasn’t within kissing distance of him.
‘Before,’ she continued, ‘I realised you were going to make this the most incredible goodbye kiss I’ve ever experienced. It was so…’ She searched desperately for the right word.
He nodded. ‘I know. It was, wasn’t it?’
‘See? So why can’t we give it a go?’
‘Give what a go exactly?’
‘I don’t know. Dating.’
‘It won’t work.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Because I know me.’
‘Does this have anything to do with Simone?’
‘No, and neither does it have anything to do with any of your ex-boyfriends. I’m just not ready. I haven’t been in the Blue Mountains long and my dream of getting my own practice up and running is finally coming true. I want to enjoy that for a while. I want to spend time with Stephanie and also time alone. I’m sorry if that sounds selfish, but that’s just where I am. Dating doesn’t fit into the scenario and I know for a fact that I’d only end up hurting you.’
His words made sense. He’d not long returned from a war zone and she knew at first-hand how it could take a while to sort yourself out after such a mind-altering experience. She’d only done six months, Stephen had done twelve. Although she’d had a gun held to her head, she’d never actually been shot. Stephen had.
‘You need to be selfish.’ She nodded with understanding.
‘Don’t say it like that.’
‘I’m not being mean, Stephen, I’m being factual, and I completely agree with you. I was the same when I got back from my time in North Africa. You need to process everything, find out where your old life—before the war zone—and new life meet.’
Stephen was astounded. He frowned and then shook his head in amazement. ‘You really do understand.’
‘Yes, and I think it’s great you realise this, otherwise you’d probably end up having a breakdown in a few more months.’
‘So you’re willing to be friends?’
‘Of course.’
He waited. ‘But?’ he prompted.
‘No buts.’ She smiled at him and leaned back to get her bag from the back seat. ‘Hey, and don’t worry about doing the car shuffle now. It’s almost four o’clock and you need to rest as well. I’ll walk around in the morning and get the car. Hopefully, the brisk walk will wake me up.’ She smiled, hoping to lighten the atmosphere.
Nicolette put her
hand on the door lever and leaned over, brushing a feather-light kiss across his lips. ‘Thank you.’ With that, she pushed open the door, climbed from the car and walked towards the house. The sensor light, which flicked on, momentarily blinded her as she fished out her keys. Stephen’s car hadn’t moved and she knew he was waiting to see her safely inside—that’s what knights in shining armour did.
Once she had the front door open she turned and waved, before heading inside and closing it behind her. She leaned against it, listening as he started the car again and slowly drove away into the foggy night.
Nicolette breathed deeply. She was in love with Stephen, and Stephen needed time. Time she could do. Denying the attraction—that would have been harder to fight, but tonight both of them had openly admitted the attraction so she didn’t have to worry about that.
Time. She would give him time and she would also give him the help she knew he needed. She’d had her brother Luc to help her navigate the minefield of emotions she’d experienced in Africa. You were always so busy you hardly had time to deal with them, but back in your own world it was a whole new ball game and sometimes emotions would spring up out of nowhere and assail you.
Yes, she decided firmly. Stephen would need help navigating his emotional minefield and she was the perfect person to help him. After all, she loved him.
CHAPTER NINE
NICOLETTE walked out into the waiting room, calling her last patient for Friday morning through to her consulting room.
‘Mrs Bevan. You’re looking well. How’s your cat, Clayton?’
‘Oh, he’s fine, Doctor. I say, this is a very pretty place, isn’t it?’ Mrs Bevan pointed around the room to the tasteful artwork Stephen had hung on the walls. ‘I remember this house from many years ago, and I can honestly say it’s never looked so good.’
‘I’ll certainly pass that on to Dr Brooks.’
‘He supervised the transformation, did he? I suppose he would as he owns the place.’
‘No, Dr Brooks did the transformation. He sanded and painted and fixed and hammered. The first time I came here, there were ladders and paint tins and everything everywhere.’
‘He did it himself?’ Mrs Bevan was impressed. ‘And how long have you been working here?’
‘Since the practice opened at the beginning of last week.’
‘Has it been busy?’
‘Very, but that’s the way it’s supposed to be. So you’re here for your check-up?’
‘Yes.’
‘Dr Brooks is interested in looking at the scans you had done.’ Nicolette glanced around. ‘You did bring them with you, didn’t you?’
‘I gave them to that lovely receptionist.’
‘Not to worry.’ Nicolette picked up the phone and spoke to the receptionist. ‘First of all, let me have a listen to your chest, and once I’ve done your general check-up we’ll call Dr Brooks in.’
Nicolette listened to her patient’s chest and declared herself well satisfied. She continued with the examination and when she was finished she called through to Stephen’s consulting room, which was just down the hallway.
The time they’d been working together had been the happiest of her life. She was in love and for the first time ever she wasn’t psychoanalysing it. She was just enjoying it, and seeing Stephen almost every day certainly helped.
After their earth-shattering goodbye kiss, Nicolette had spent a few days mulling over her new emotions for him and she’d had a revelation. In all her past relationships they’d never really been friends. Oh, sure, there had been mutual attraction and they’d enjoyed doing things together, but close friends? No. The relationships had been strictly girlfriend and boyfriend, not friendship and relationship, and she’d realised with a pang that that was exactly what she wanted with Stephen.
At first they’d both been careful not to be alone together, not to be caught in the kitchen making coffee at the same time, not to be sitting down eating lunch together, but it had only lasted a few days. Once the initial awkwardness had passed, they regularly found themselves eating together. Sometimes their receptionist joined them. Either way, Nicolette was getting to know Stephen a lot better.
She was becoming more in tune with his wry humour and even when he smiled at her, instead of freaking out about the way he made her feel, she simply accepted it and enjoyed it.
There was a brisk knock at her door before he came in. ‘Mrs Bevan. How nice to see you again. How’s Clayton? Behaving himself, I hope.’
‘Oh, yes, Dr Brooks.’ The woman giggled and Nicolette loved Stephen all the more simply for the way he cared for others.
Stephen held up the radiology packet. ‘I gather these are yours so why don’t we all look at them together?’ He flicked on the viewing box and pulled out the first scan. ‘Looking good.’ They looked at a few more before he declared himself satisfied. ‘I’d like you to see us both at least once a week until your cardiologist’s appointment—which is in a few weeks, I believe?’ He glanced at Nicolette for confirmation.
‘Three weeks’ time,’ Nicolette confirmed.
‘Great. Until then, stay warm, stay out of the cool night air and, most of all, keep Clayton under control.’
Again, Mrs Bevan giggled like a schoolgirl. ‘Yes, Dr Brooks.’ After he’d left, she sighed. ‘He’s so lovely,’ she told Nicolette.
‘Yes, he is.’ Nicolette tapped on the keyboard and set a form into the printer. ‘Here’s a new prescription for you and make sure you call the surgery or the hospital if you have any pain or just don’t feel well.’ Her words were firm yet kind.
‘Yes, dear.’
‘Don’t feel as though you’re bothering us because we love to be bothered, especially Dr Brooks.’
Mrs Bevan smiled again at the mention of Stephen. ‘All right, dear. Thank you.’
Once Nicolette had finished inputting Mrs Bevan’s notes, she headed thankfully into the kitchen, eager for lunch. She found Stephen there, sitting at the table, munching on a sandwich.
‘What are you eating?’
‘Peanut butter and jam.’
‘Really? I craved them the whole time I was in Africa. Tea?’
‘Thanks.’ Stephen frowned.
‘What’s wrong?’ Nicolette took two cups out and popped tea bags into them.
‘I craved them the whole time I was there, too.’
Nicolette laughed. ‘We only had jam.’
‘We only had peanut butter,’ he said, and joined in her laughter.
‘If only we could have got your peanut butter together with my jam, we both would have been satisfied.’ As she placed his cup of tea on the table in front of him, their gazes met and held. Quickly, she turned away and opened the fridge, pulling out the ingredients she would need. ‘Would you like another one? The best way to eat them is when they’re freshly made.’
He cleared his throat. ‘Sure.’ When she’d finished and was sitting down, Stephen placed his hand over hers. Nicolette flinched a little but only because he’d surprised her with the contact. Warmth spread up her arm and burst through the rest of her, and she welcomed every last second of the feeling. She glanced up and met his gaze once more. ‘Thanks,’ he murmured, his tone intense, his voice husky.
‘You’re welcome.’ Her words were genuine and heart-felt, which caused Stephen to raise a questioning eyebrow.
‘Do you know what I’m thanking you for?’ He removed his hand from hers and raked it through his hair, a little unsteady at the thought that she knew him so well.
‘For being your friend.’ Nicolette took a bite of her sandwich. ‘Mmm. Yummy.’ She swallowed her mouthful and smiled at him. ‘And even though you didn’t say thank you for the tea or the sandwich, I’ll let you off, but only this once.’
‘Thank you,’ he said again, this time in a more normal tone. ‘I’m constantly surprised at how well you seem to know me.’
She smiled. ‘It’s natural. We’ve had a lot of similar experiences.’
He thought about tha
t, then slowly nodded. ‘Just talking to you the past few weeks about little things such as this…’ He gestured to the sandwich. ‘It’s made a big difference.’
‘I’m glad. It’s hard to kind of shift your past experiences into your new world. It’s as though you’ve had your blinkers taken off when you see such tragedy and devastation and although we saw that three weeks ago with that horrific accident, it’s not something that happens every single day—thank God. When you return to your normal life, it’s hard to try and match the two worlds up.’
‘Yes,’ he replied enthusiastically. ‘That’s exactly it.’
‘It took me quite a few months but I had my brother helping me. He’s had similar experiences.’
Again Stephen processed her words and then gave another slow nod. ‘And you’ve been helping me, even though I didn’t know it.’
For a moment, she wasn’t sure whether he was happy about it or whether he resented it. ‘Who else do you have contact with who understands what you’ve been through?’ she asked. ‘Sure you have Stephanie but—’
‘Steph has her own problems at the moment.’
Nicolette was concerned. ‘She’s all right, isn’t she? Not doing anything silly?’
The little grin she was becoming accustomed to touched his lips. ‘She’s fine, healthwise. Extremely frustrated and very interested in the new A and E director.’
‘Oliver? She never said. We had coffee yesterday and she never breathed a word.’
‘She’s still fighting her feelings.’
‘Does that mean you get them?’
He laughed. ‘I hope not. Anyway, I invited her around for brunch on Sunday but she can’t make it. She’s helping Oliver with his daughter.’
‘Sounds…intriguing.’ Nicolette smiled. ‘Wait a minute. Aren’t they sharing a house?’
‘That’s right.’