Her anger at Banning continued to grow. The nerve of that man trying to make her doubt a good friend. If he hadn’t already retired, she would give him a piece of her mind.
“Emory, please believe me.”
He appeared to weigh the sincerity of her words, and then he smiled up at her and squeezed her hand. He brought her hand up to his lips quickly. “I do, Avis. I do.”
“I must leave before someone finds me in here with you.”
“Of course.” He stood as she rose. “Goonight, Avis.”
“Goodnight, Emory.”
Banning stared at the closed door of his bedroom as he paced the carpet. Every time he saw her with that bastard, his blood started to boil. Not even five minutes after he left her in the gameroom, he heard them talking alone in the study. Five bloody minutes!
He stopped and listened as footsteps sounded outside his room. As he opened his door, he watched her door close behind her. Before she had a chance to lock the door or ring for her maid, he stormed into her room.
She gasped and turned around to face him. “What are you doing in here?”
“You just can’t take a warning, can you?” He stalked her.
“If you mean about Emory, then you are right.” She stood her ground, glaring at him with her brown eyes.
“You would rather take a chance on him abusing you in the heat of anger than—”
“That is the difference between you and him,” she interrupted, pointing a finger at him. “You are the one in a temper when we talk, not him.”
“And yet you trust me not to hit you in anger, don’t you?”
She looked away from him. “I do,” she whispered.
Banning walked over to her. “Then why don’t you believe me about Billingsworth?”
“Because he has never done a thing to make me believe he would hurt me,” she said tightly.
“Not yet,” he added. Banning turned away from her in frustration. She would never believe him. “All I ever wanted to do was protect you.”
Avis laughed coarsely. “No, Banning. All you ever wanted was for me to obey your every command like a little lap dog.”
He turned back and stared at her until she glanced away. Silence filled the room as a minute passed. “Do you really believe that?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
His heart sank. “Bloody hell, Avis. Nothing I say or do will ever change your mind about me or marriage or even that damned bastard, Billingsworth.” He walked to the door. “I’m done. I rescind my offer of marriage.”
“What?” she asked as he reached for the doorknob.
He looked back at her pale face. “You have your wish. I will stay out of your life.”
“You don’t want to marry me?” She blinked several times as if trying to keep the tears at bay.
“No,” he lied. Silently he prayed she would stop him. But she didn’t. With no other choice, he opened the door and departed the room. He strode across the hallway still hoping she would come to her senses.
Banning had never felt so out of control in his life. Once he’d taken her to his bed, she was supposed to realize her folly and understand that wedding him was the answer. Only Avis never did the expected.
He sat in the chair by the window looking up at the inky night. Stars twinkled like diamonds on black velvet. Could she have feelings for Billingsworth? She defended him tirelessly. The only conceivable answer was she did have feelings for the bastard. Feelings stronger for Billingsworth than they ever would be for him.
His entire life he’d always known the right thing to do and went after whatever he wanted with a passion. He knew the right thing to do was to marry Avis. Not just the right thing, but marrying her was what he wanted above all. He just hadn’t a thought of how to accomplish it.
He had rescinded his offer of marriage. Avis sank into a chair by the window and stared outside. In the distance, a wood owl hooted its sad song. The sound only made her feel even more desolate. She wrapped her arms around herself.
He did not want to marry her.
Her heart cried out that this was her fault. She had pushed him away. Her fears had forced her to make a decision. Now she wondered if she’d made the correct choice. All her life she’d been so afraid of being like her father that she’d hidden away her passions under a cloak of conservative behavior. But Banning unlocked the door to her desires.
She didn’t want to be the prim old spinster any more.
She wanted to be the passionate woman who had loved Banning until he couldn’t move in the morning. And the only man she wanted in her life was him, which meant she had to confront her fears…all of them. She could do this. After spending almost a fortnight with him she’d only hit him once.
Recognizing how weak that argument was, Avis sank her head into her hands. She had hit him and whether it was once or a hundred times made no difference. He would want children, and as an earl, would need an heir.
As the pink rays of dawn lifted from the horizon, she still sat in her chair wondering what to do. Her heart refused to let her give up on him. She needed Banning. And something told her he needed her too. So she would do her best to confront her fears and even tell him what scared her about marriage. Perhaps if he knew he could help her conquer them.
She looked over at the small clock on her nightstand. She only had an hour until she was supposed to meet him in the stables for her first chance at overcoming her fears. Somehow riding a horse seemed far less frightening than confronting the demons inside her.
Avis went to her dressing room, looked at her clothes and laughed. She didn’t even own a riding habit. Now what? Jennette was several inches taller and much thinner so her habit would never fit her. But she might just have an idea. Avis raced back to her room and pounded on the wall that adjoined the two rooms.
“What?”
“Come over here,” Avis said to the wall.
She heard grumbling from the room next door but Jennette opened the door and entered. She wore her wrapper and her wild, raven hair had come out of its queue during the night.
“Why am I in here when the sun has barely risen?”
“The sun rose hours ago, Jennette. I need your help.” Avis quickly explained her problem.
“You mean you intend to let Banning help you ride?”
“Yes.”
Jennette frowned in thought. “Charlotte is nearer to your size, though a bit thinner. Anything she has might be a tad tight, but I know she would let you wear it. She certainly can’t at this point in her pregnancy. I shall return in a moment.”
As Avis waited, she heard the door to Banning’s room open and shut, and then his heavy footsteps stopped in front of her door. She held her breath to hear if he would knock or just come in. He did neither. His footsteps receded down the hallway.
A few moments later Jennette flung the door open. She had taken the time to change into her jonquil gown and had tidied her hair. “I have a lovely riding habit for you.”
She held a forest green habit over her arm. “You look so good in dark green. Charlotte said this one was always a little big on her so it should fit you better.”
Avis took the habit to her dressing room and with trembling hands changed into it. The bodice clung tightly across her breasts while the rest fit her just fine.
“Well?” Jennette inquired from the bedroom.
“It will have to do,” she answered, walking toward her friend.
Jennette twisted her lips. “If you were trying to entice my brother that habit might just do it. I’m surprised you managed to get the buttons to hold across your—”
“Oh do be quiet, Jennette. I want to learn how to ride again. Now help me with my hair.”
“Why didn’t you call Bridget?”
“I have no idea. Just help me.”
Jennette pulled Avis’s hair up into an artful chignon then placed a hat with a feather on top of her head. “Perfect. Now get down to those stables.”
She could do this. Her stom
ach rumbled but she ignored the sound. It was nearly eight. She had to be on time. As she reached the stables, she slowed her pace to catch her breath. Glancing toward the open pasture, she noticed a figure galloping off. Her heart sank into her stomach.
He hadn’t waited for her.
First, he recanted his proposal, and now he could not even teach her how to ride. Her shoulders slumped as she wiped away a tear. Perhaps she had truly waited too long. He had offered her marriage and even after she’d rejected his proposals, he still had called on her. He’d been a true gentleman, and she had ruined everything.
She had no idea how long she stood there, staring out into the open field, before she realized that Jennette had joined her.
“Are you all right?” she asked gently.
“I have been stood up.”
“And normally if my brother had done such a thing you would be ranting and raving about what a cad he is. Yet, you’re just staring out at the pasture with a far away look in your eye.”
Avis blinked. “Well, I didn’t think I needed to remind you about the callous behavior of your brother.”
“If you say so.” Jennette wrapped her arm around Avis’s shoulder. “You haven’t set your cap on Banning, have you?”
She pulled away with a jerk. “Jennette! Your brother is a cad. I cannot believe you think I have fallen in love with him.”
“I never said that,” Jennette said with a slight grin.
“Well, I haven’t.”
“Of course not. The fact that he was fawning all over you when we played billiards and you barely voiced any complaints caught my attention.”
Avis stopped her gait. “I don’t know why we’re arguing like this. I do not have feelings for Banning.”
Jennette didn’t look convinced but asked, “Forgive me anyway?”
“Of course.”
“Come inside and eat some breakfast. It will make you feel better,” Jennette urged with an encouraging smile.
Avis nodded. They walked back inside where delicious aromas wafted from the breakfast room. Eating wouldn’t make her feel better but it would quiet the noise from her belly; she doubted food would ease her heartache.
Banning walked his horse into the stables and handed the reins to a stableboy. “Take good care of him, John,” he said, ruffling the boy’s hair. He walked back to the house with a slower than normal stride. He’d hoped the ride would have eased his frustrations, but it hadn’t.
As he walked inside he decided to see if the breakfast room was empty so he might not need to change before eating. He peered around the corner and saw Avis in a green riding habit, and his sister in her morning gown.
“Don’t you dare try to hide around the corner, Ban,” Jennette said, pointing a knife at him.
Damn, they noticed him. “I wouldn’t wish to offend you ladies. I haven’t changed yet.”
“Nonsense. Neither one of us will be offended.”
“I need to speak with Charlotte about the plans for later,” Avis said and quickly left the room before Banning could even sit down.
“What is going on between you two?” Jennette demanded.
“Nothing,” he said. “Absolutely nothing.”
“You were sniping at each other in front of a room full of people last night.”
“It was just a little disagreement, Jennette. Nothing more.”
Jennette twisted her lips. “I know how the ladies get around you, Ban. They fall over you as if you were a Greek god. You had better not be playing games with Avis.”
“Those ladies want my title and my fortune. Would Miss Copley want either of those from me?”
“I suppose not,” Jennette mumbled. “Still, there had better not be anything going on between you two.”
“Yes, Mother.”
“Oh be quiet, Ban. She is my best friend and I’m worried about her. She hasn’t quite been herself for the last month or so.”
“Why not?”
Jennette went silent for a moment. “I am not entirely certain. Ever since her birthday, she’s been acting oddly. Yet, she won’t confide in me or any of her friends.”
Now might just be the time to glean a little information from his baby sister. He pulled the chair out and sat down. A footman instantly filled his teacup and then carried a plate overloaded with food for him.
“So why is she so intent on remaining a spinster?”
Jennette shrugged and sipped her tea. “Why are you so interested?”
Patience. Patience. “You always wanted me to take an interest in your friends. Now that I am, you question my motives.”
“Touché.” She studied him for a moment, ate a bite of eggs and finally said, “Her father beat her mother.”
Banning clutched his knife. “And Avis?”
“Mostly her mother,” she lowered her voice to a whisper. “But he had no issue with hitting his daughter either. Haven’t you ever noticed the scar on her arm?”
“Yes, I just assumed she’d fallen as a child…oh, damn.” His stomach roiled with the thought of what she must have gone through as a young girl.
Jennette leaned in closer and whispered, “She wanted to sit on his lap and give him a hug. But he was too busy for her. He thrust her away and she fell, hitting her arm on the raised hearth.”
Banning fisted his hands. “Was there more?”
“Most likely, but that’s the only time he left a physical scar on her. I know her mother suffered at least a broken arm at one time.”
“How did her mother die?” He hated asking the question but something prodded him to do it.
“She fell down the stairs.” Jennette stared at him. “At least that is what he made certain the servants said.”
At least he now understood her reluctance toward marriage. How could he blame her? How could she trust him if she couldn’t even trust her own father? She had never had a good man as an example in her life.
Not that he was such a remarkable example for her. He tried to blackmail her into their affair when she wanted to back out. He manipulated her into telling him she loved him. He even tried to make her jealous. God, he was a cad.
Was it any wonder she trusted Billingsworth over him? Banning knew Billingsworth had never done anything untoward to her except take money she willingly gave him.
“I need to change,” he said as he rose from his chair. “What activities are planned for today?”
“An outdoor luncheon and several games for the children and the adults. More people should arrive during the day and into tomorrow. There is also the hunt on Thursday morning and the ball that night.”
“Very well. I shall see you later.” Banning left the room and decided to change, then search out Trey.
He found his friend relaxing outside as Charlotte directed the servants preparing for the luncheon. Trey nodded his head toward his wife. “She is amazing, isn’t she?”
“Yes, I believe she is. Then again, she’d have to be in order to be married to you.”
Trey chuckled. “Very true indeed. Have you succeeded in making Miss Copley jealous?”
“Not quite. What do you know of her family?”
“Miss Copley’s?”
“Of course.” Banning shook his head. Trey might possibly be the most exasperating friend he had.
“Not much. The late Lord Watton did not inherit much from his wastrel of a father. He made a fortune from his investments.”
Not the information Banning was looking for today. “What about his family life?”
Trey shrugged. “Sorry. My mother or even yours could shed more light on that subject. I only met the man once that I remember.”
On to the more pressing business. “Why is Billingsworth here?”
“My mother thought he would be an interesting conversationalist.”
Damn interfering ladies. “He can only talk about himself and his damned books.”
“Very true. But it is enjoyable to watch your reaction to his presence, especially when he speaks with Miss
Copley.”
“Watch yourself, Trey,” Banning warned.
“Selby, how are you today?” Charlotte asked, walking toward him.
He took her hand and kissed it lightly. “You look beautiful today, Charlotte. I think pregnancy suits you.”
“Why thank you, Selby,” Charlotte replied. “Perhaps someday you will be anxiously awaiting the birth of your first child.” She pointed to a nearby garden bench. “Oh look, there is your mother and Lady Kesgrave. Perhaps they are plotting your future marriage. Shall we go and find out?”
“No.”
“Lady Kesgrave is quite the matchmaker.”
“Not for me.”
“Augusta, have you shown this to Charlotte yet?” Lady Caroline Selby asked in a hushed tone.
“Just before you sat down with me,” the dowager Countess of Kesgrave replied. “My daughter-in-law is quite intelligent and sees the wisdom in Sophie’s note.”
Caroline stared at Sophie’s letter and smiled fully. Her heart brimmed with happiness at the idea of this match. Sophie’s visions were becoming quite the thing in town and while Caroline had never contemplated speaking to her about her children, this note was everything she could have ever asked for and more. Sophie requested Banning and Avis be paired for every possible function—dinner, dances, anything.
“Miss Copley is perfect for your son, Caroline.” Augusta leaned back and smiled.
She looked over at her dearest friend. “I couldn’t ask for a better woman for Banning than Avis.”
“She couldn’t possibly know you wanted that match. Perhaps Sophie is a much better matchmaker than either one of us,” August said with a laugh.
“Perhaps she is.”
Chapter Nineteen
“Avis?”
Avis turned at the sound of Emory’s voice. The hallway appeared deserted except for the two of them so she used his given name in reply. “Yes, Emory?”
“May I escort you out to the luncheon?”
“That would be lovely.”
He held out his left arm until she felt forced to twine her arm with his. Her skin suddenly felt as if a hundred bugs were crawling on her. For no reason, all of Banning’s warnings replayed in her mind.
Christie Kelley Page 18