by Leila Haven
No matter how goddamn sizzling her body was.
My gaze alternated between her tits and her ass. She was in great condition, her body was full of curved muscles that kept everything tight.
I bet she was like that all over.
Tight.
The last set of drills was done in record time before she returned to me. She stood there waiting for her dismissal, her pink lips parted as she dragged in some deep breaths. I could picture her on her knees with those pink lips, puckering them before wrapping them around my cock.
“I expect you to do better tomorrow, private,” I barked.
She nodded. “Yes, sir. I’m sorry to have let you down today.”
“I don’t want to see it happen again. Now get out of my sight.”
She left, limping slightly as she disappeared inside. I felt like a jerk suddenly, working her so hard she was physically suffering. It just proved my point that she should not be going onto the frontline.
*
The following few weeks were more of the same – training and preparing for our mission in Afghanistan. I continued to ride Kincaid hard and she was still yet to crack. I was running out of time but she hadn’t placed a foot out of line yet.
It was after drills one afternoon when I got a message to visit Major Atoll. I reported to his office straight away. “Yes, sir.”
“You’re shipping out tomorrow, Corporal,” he said. “Chatter says the Taliban are planning something big so the brass are bringing forward all deployments. Tell your team to be ready by five hundred hours.”
I thought we’d have more time to prepare but my platoon was ready. We all took our jobs seriously, we knew our lives would depend on it.
But there was one of my crew I wasn’t so sure about. “Sir, I have my doubts about Private Kincaid.”
Atoll leaned forward on his desk, his mouth set into a frown. “What doubts are those?”
“I don’t think she’s ready. She needs more time, I would like to formally request that she be removed from this deployment.”
My superior set me in his gaze as he considered the request. I’d proven myself to him before, he needed to trust my judgment now. I could then be rid of the woman so she couldn’t get herself killed in action.
He finally replied. “Request denied. All my reports have stated her to be a very capable young woman. She is an asset to your troop, not a liability.”
‘’But, sir—“
“I won’t hear any more about it. Whatever your problem is with Kincaid, I suggest you work it out prior to tomorrow morning. She’s going with you, whether you like it or not.”
“Yes, sir.” I saluted and left, angry now. They expected me to take a soldier over to a warzone that was likely to get killed. The shit was going to hit the fan eventually, I just hoped it didn’t cost any lives.
I passed on the message to my troop, everyone received it with the same level of enthusiasm and nerves as I felt.
We’d trained for this, everything we fucking did was to get over there and fight the bastards. This was what we lived for. I just hoped we would all come back alive at the end of the tour.
I sought my bunk out early, determined to get as much sleep in as I could before the early morning wakeup call. It would probably be the last good night sleep I would get in a long while.
Thankfully, the bunks were all empty so I had the place to myself. It would be the last time I would have some privacy until we returned again.
I’d just closed my eyes when I heard the door to the dorm slam shut with so much force that the wall shook. I flicked on the light, ready to tell whoever it was to fuck off.
The small lamp revealed Kincaid standing at the end of my bed, her arms crossed over her chest and her face red with anger.
“What are you doing, private?”
Her arms uncrossed so her hands could rest on her hips. “You’re trying to keep me grounded? What the hell have I ever done to you that said I deserved to be left here when the rest of my troop get deployed?”
I sat up, my own anger rising. “Who the fuck told you that?”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“And you didn’t answer mine. I outrank you, private. Do I need to remind you how inappropriate this is? I can have you reported.”
She was so hot when she was angry. The look on her face was doing nothing for my resolve. She was the kind of beautiful that some people used to their advantage their whole lives and got whatever they want.
I wasn’t going to give in to her – despite how gorgeous she was. “Well, private?”
“You have no right to keep me back when I have done nothing but prove to you how capable I am. I deserve a place on that plane tomorrow. I’ve earned it.”
She was right. But I wasn’t planning on telling her that anytime soon. “You need to tell me where you got your information.”
“You’re not even denying it,” she shot back.
“No, I’m not.”
“Why don’t you want me to go?”
I searched her eyes, waiting for the tears that were about to fall but her eyes shone with nothing but unbridled anger.
I sighed before telling her the stone-cold truth. “Women don’t belong on the frontline and you’re no exception.”
“Just because I’m a female? Are you kidding me?” She threw her arms up in the air. “I can report you, you know. There’s a little thing called anti-discrimination that could have your ass kicked out of the army.”
That had occurred to me about a second after it was out of my mouth. I had let my mouth run before thinking and practically gave her my balls on a silver platter. She had me. “You’re not going to do anything but walk your ass out of here and shut the hell up. We’re stuck with each other for now.”
She had more to say, it was written all over her face. Still, she swallowed her words and turned to leave. She knew what she had to do to get on that plane.
But I wasn’t finished with her yet. “Who told you, Kincaid?”
She had reached the door by the time she turned around one last time. “Let’s just say I am more connected to this place than you can imagine, corporal.”
The door slammed shut behind her.
I went to sleep still wondering what her last comment was supposed to mean.
Chapter 4
Sasha
҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉
There was no way I could sleep a wink after confronting Rafter. When I’d received the warning from Major Atoll that he was trying to ground me, all I could see was red.
I’d done double drills for the last three weeks. I’d put up with every one of the sexist remarks from those around me. I hadn’t done a thing to deserve being grounded.
I wished Rafter could see me as a soldier instead of just a girl. Gender didn’t matter here, it was ability that counted. When was he going to realize that I deserved to be there just as much as any of the others? I was better than half the soldiers in my troop.
The anger was still present the next morning. I reported for duty in the airplane hangar half an hour early, just to make sure I didn’t miss the departure. It was just like Rafter to give me the wrong time so I wouldn’t be able to go.
I purposefully diverted my gaze every time Rafter looked at me. He didn’t deserve my attention that morning. I wanted him to know that I was still angry and I could still report him.
Not that it would get me very far. Reporting him for discrimination might result in a slap on the wrist or a stern talking to at most. The army was a boys’ club and I was on the wrong side of the gender debate.
Still, the look on his face when I threatened to report him was worth it. He might talk a good talk, but he wasn’t invincible. I’d seen the chink in his armor and I wouldn’t forget it.
I just wished he wasn’t so goddamn sexy. Every time he gave me a command it sent a little shiver down my spine. I felt the pulse in my pussy with every damn order he sent my way. If I wasn’t so attracted to him I would have req
uested a transfer weeks ago.
There was something about Rafter that just pushed all my buttons in the right way. I’d never responded to somebody like that before.
Normally men were afraid to date me. It wasn’t just because of my two big brothers and my overprotective father, either. I was strong and I was proud of it. That usually made potential boyfriends run a mile in the opposite direction.
Only one had stuck around and he wasn’t there anymore. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and hopped on the plane. We sat in long rows that ran the length of the jumbo, strapped in and buzzing with adrenalin.
Most of the men in my troop had been to Afghanistan before. Rafter, Simon, and Watson had done multiple tours there. It was good to know there were some veterans mixed in with the new recruits.
I settled in for the long journey and said a little prayer, hoping something greater than us was keeping watch.
*
Afghanistan was hot.
Bloody hot.
The base was better equipped than I expected. I guessed the army had a lot of time to build it, considering we’d been stationed there for so many years.
I was relieved to see my dorm room full of female soldiers. It would be nice to come back and remember that I was actually a girl after a long mission under the testosterone fueled sun.
It was only a couple of hours before I had to face Rafter again. He came looking for me, for some reason using the excuse that he wanted to check the conditions in my bunk.
“It’s fine here, really,” I said, gesturing around the rest of the room. It was currently empty of people except for the two of us. “I can look after myself.”
“What do you think of the base so far?” he asked.
“It was better than I expected. Are we staying here long?”
“Yes, for the duration of this tour. We’re close to the towns we’re focusing on here.”
I still wasn’t sure why he was there and what he wanted. He didn’t seem to be able to spit it out. “Sir, was there something else I can assist with?”
“Just be careful.” He took a step into the corridor. “And get your ass to the mess hall, dinner is about to start.”
“Yes, sir.”
We locked eyes for a moment and something unspoken crackled between us. I could see myriad of emotions flash through the windows to his soul. There was more he wanted to say, but for some reason, he wasn’t going to.
I wished he would. I wanted to know how his brain worked, what lingered behind his tough and serious exterior. There had to be more there that he didn’t show anyone.
I wanted to be the one he shared his thoughts with. Which was ridiculous considering I was pretty sure he hated me. I’d never been one to back away from a challenge but Rafter was in a whole new league.
Plus, there was the added complication of our professional relationship. I had to convince him I was a soldier above everything else. There was no way I was going to let my family down by receiving a discharge from the army. The only way I was going to return home was triumphant and alive.
Rafter and I went to the mess hall together. As always, it was a loud, chaotic hub. Soldiers laughed and talked as they ate, working out some of the stress from the day’s missions.
We took our trays along the line and filled them before finding a table. There was little space so we had to sit at the end of a group I didn’t know.
Rafter was staring at my tray before he spoke. “Are you seriously going to eat all that?”
My tray was almost as full as his, but nothing I couldn’t handle. “Sure am. You don’t think a woman should eat so much?”
“No, I’m impressed, that’s all.”
I shrugged nonchalantly. “We’re going to be working hard tomorrow, I’ll need the energy.”
“It’s good to see a woman with an appetite. My daughter insists on watching her weight and she’s only eight years old. We need healthier role models.”
I had to look at him to determine if he was pulling my leg or being serious. His somber expression told me there wasn’t a joke in his comment.
The fact he had a daughter was new to me. It instantly conjured up images of his perfect family missing him back home. Kids, a wife, a faithful dog, he probably had it all. And here I was, having X-rated fantasies about him.
“I didn’t know you had a daughter,” I said honestly, trying to pry more information out of him. I wondered if it made me a bitch to want that perfect image of his family to be shattered.
It probably did.
“Yeah, Chloe.” Rafter beamed with the pride only a dad could have. “I can’t believe how quickly she’s growing up. It feels like she was only born a year ago and already she’s talking about boys and makeup.”
“Wow, at eight. They grow up fast these days.” He nodded with agreement. “Is Chloe your only child?”
“Yeah.”
I did the math in my head. Rafter was twenty-seven so he was a father when he was only nineteen years old. I bet there was a long story there.
I shamelessly went fishing for more information. “It must be hard to leave her all the time. Your wife, too.”
“I’m not married,” he said quickly, as if he wanted that cleared up straight away. “Chloe’s mother has full custody so I don’t get to see her much anyway. She lives across the country from the base.”
“That must be difficult.”
“Very. But you got to do what you got to do.” He tried to smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. We ate in silence for a long while as the sadness lingered in the air. I was onto dessert when he spoke again. “What about you? Have any kids, a boyfriend, waiting for you back home?”
I laughed under my breath. “Neither. I only have my brothers and father in my life. That’s enough pressure to come home alive.”
“Sure is.”
The silence lingered between us, the reality of the danger we faced very much alive in our minds. It was my only explanation for his sudden weird behavior. Or, maybe he realized that he was stuck with me now.
I wanted to ask him how he coped with it all, what he said to his family before he left without a guarantee of returning again, how he functioned with the threat of death every day.
But I said nothing.
No matter how nice he seemed now, he had already made it quite clear he didn’t want me there. Asking him those things would make me appear weak and I couldn’t risk that.
I would have to deal with my questions alone by being the best soldier I could be. The good people of the world were relying on me to carry out my duties and win against the enemy and all the evil they stood for. I wouldn’t let them down.
Just like I wouldn’t let my family down either. We were a military family, there was nothing that made us prouder than serving our country.
Rafter stood suddenly. “Make sure you get some sleep. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.” He picked up his tray, threw the rubbish in the trash, and disappeared through the door.
He was a strange man.
The kind of strange that only intrigued me more.
Chapter 5
Matt
҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉
I needed coffee.
That wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.
We had hauled ass at the crack of dawn, called to duty and sent to assist a team with a mission in Gardez. They had encountered some resistance and were being attacked while they tried to rid the place of the Taliban.
My platoon were all sitting in the truck in silence, a mixture of fear and excitement on their faces. You could tell the veterans from the newbies easily. Those that had done this before were wary, not keen to run headlong into the action without the proper precautions.
Kincaid was sitting as far away from me as possible. Her face was a mask, hiding anything lingering underneath her cool exterior. It was wrong that she was there with us, facing the violence and horror that we were about to.
She hadn’t stepped a foot wrong yet, even turning up
this morning for duty earlier than all the others. She was eager, but that was how new soldiers got themselves killed. I would need to watch her carefully, which was the exact reason why she was a liability to our unit.
God, was she sexy, though. Even in the loose-fitting uniform with a layer of Kevlar around her chest and a helmet on her head she looked ravishing. I wouldn’t be a hot-blooded male if I didn’t notice.
With the gun in her hand, Sasha looked like a fierce warrior. Still, there was something vulnerable behind her eyes. She liked people to think she was a lot tougher on the inside than what she was. There was a softness to her hard exterior that most people would never notice. It made me want to know everything about her, all the secrets that she locked away.
The truck rumbled to a stop before we all filtered outside. The heat hit us abruptly, instantly making sweat bead on my forehead. I would be dripping with the stuff in only minutes. The heat was one thing I would never get used to in Afghanistan. It was like stepping into hell, in more ways than one.
“Gather around,” I called out as my team started to face me for their directions. It was my first deployment where I was the boss and I didn’t want to fuck it up. I needed to stay on the ball at all times.
I waited until they had all gathered before I spoke again. “Simon, Watson, Cooper you’re Group A. Hamilton, Ridley, Jackson, and Short, Group B. Tate, Dekker, Sampson, Ronald, Group C. Kincaid, you’re with me.”
I purposefully didn’t look at her for her reaction. She wouldn’t be happy with the arrangement and slight. I’d practically just declared to all the men there that she couldn’t be trusted alone.
“Let’s get moving, men. We’ve got a job to do,” I said. The groups all checked their equipment and armor before heading out. We’d been briefed only that morning so we knew exactly what we were supposed to be doing out there.