“It’s his last day in bed, Freddie,” she said, unable to keep the fear out of her voice.
“Oh come on, Eleanor, he’s not a monster, he’s not going to do anything to you. He’s irritated, but deep down he knows you did it for his own good.”
Eleanor gave him a small smile; ever since she had started curbing Freddie’s energy levels, his ambivalent feelings towards Conlan had reduced.
“I know he’s not a monster, Freddie, but I’m worried about the ‘connection’...” She trailed off into silence, unsure how to articulate her fear.
Freddie shrugged. “It’s what we were made for.”
Eleanor nodded at his logic, but she found it hard to shake her feelings. She liked to learn about something before she did it, to study and read what others had thought, so working out something so important by trial and error made her uncomfortable.
Amelia smiled at them as they entered the main cave, stamping the snow off their boots.
“Did you have a good afternoon?” she asked.
“It’s been fun,” Eleanor enthused. Removing her over-jacket she moved to Amelia’s side and began helping her to chop the vegetables for dinner. They worked in amiable silence while Freddie warmed himself by the fire. Eleanor was so intent on her task that she did not notice Will was missing until he emerged from the bedroom and spoke.
“Eleanor, Conlan wants to talk to you.”
Eleanor nodded, a sick feeling spreading through her stomach. She dried her hands, taking longer than the task required so she had more chance to steel herself. When she could no longer put it off she shoved her fear deep inside and, head held high, walked into the bedroom.
Conlan was sat on his bed, back resting on the pillow and his long legs crossed in front of him. He was reading a small, blue book. Eleanor sighed; she missed reading. Hearing her enter his chamber, Conlan raised his head and she was momentarily stunned by his appearance. He looked younger somehow, a lot younger than Will and younger even than Freddie; he was clean shaven, the exhaustion and pain were gone and his face had filled out a little.
“Hello, Eleanor.”
There was no glaring, no angry tone and he actually sounded pleased to see her. Eleanor relaxed a little and smiled.
“You look much better.”
“So I’m told. You seem to have been avoiding me. Will tells me you spend your time with Freddie. He’s teaching you to fight.” There was no accusation or annoyance.
“He’s a great teacher,” Eleanor confirmed.
Conlan nodded. “Will also tells me that since you and Freddie started spending time together that Freddie hasn’t lost control once. He’s calmer, happier and more co-operative than any of us ever thought possible.”
Eleanor knew he wanted to know how she had managed to help Freddie, but she found she had no idea where to start.
“Maybe he’s just happier and maybe you should ask him about it,” Eleanor said quietly.
“I did, and he told me to ask you.”
“Oh,” she breathed, staring at her feet and trying to get her thoughts in order. Conlan waited patiently for her to continue. She had no idea what to say, but she knew that sooner or later she would have to say something. “Freddie has a ball of energy inside him that’s constantly growing. I drain the excess energy off and sort of absorb it... I think,” she said finally.
“How?” He sounded excited.
“Well, it’s like I have a ball of energy inside me too, and I can make bits of it stretch out and pull some of Freddie’s energy from him. And now I’ve said it I realise just how totally bizarre that sounds.”
Conlan laughed. “Bizarre…welcome to my world.”
Eleanor smiled; she had forgotten how much she liked the sound of his laugh. “I don’t think I can describe it any better than that.”
“You don’t have to,” Conlan said. “It’s the same for me. I’ve tried to control the Five in the past, and it also feels like I have a ball of energy that I reach out with and pull the energy into me.”
“What, from all of us at the same time?” Eleanor asked astonished.
“Well, that’s the plan, but it’s never worked very well.”
“You should be grateful it hasn’t. I’ve only been pulling energy from Freddie and it’s exhausting. I couldn’t pull energy from anyone else, not that I even know how to – it would knock me senseless or worse.”
“Maybe that’s because you’re not meant to be pulling energy, maybe it’s just meant to be me. Maybe with practice I’ll be able to handle it,” Conlan said, smiling at her.
Distracted by his smile it took Eleanor a moment to realise there were far too many ‘maybe’s’ in his sentence.
“It’s not that you haven’t been able to get the connection to work. You don’t know how to make it work, do you?” she deduced.
“It’s not like there’s anybody around I can ask,” Conlan said a little defensively.
“Didn’t your grandfather’s stories give any details?”
Conlan shrugged. “Not that I remember.”
“How about the shamans?”
“The connection is as much a mystery to them as it is to the rest of us. In truth, Eleanor, your connection to Freddie is the closest any of us have ever gotten to making this work.”
“Well I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t have any great solution,” she said, dropping her head, the hope she saw flash through his eyes making her feel uncomfortable.
“Please, Eleanor, I need you to show me how you’re doing it,” Conlan said, desperation creeping into his voice.
“I can barely explain it to myself. I’m not sure how I’m doing it and I’m not sure it’s safe,” she said, raising her eyes back to his. “And none of that matters to you, does it?”
“This connection has worked in the past, without doing damage to those concerned. I have to believe that with enough trial and error we can get it to work. Will you help me?” He was smiling at her again and Eleanor felt her resistance fading.
She sighed. “I’d have been happier if you’d just called me in here to yell at me for making you stay in bed. Of course I’ll help you, but for the record I think this is a really dangerous idea.”
“Duly noted,” Conlan said, smiling again.
Deep down, Eleanor knew that what she had agreed to do was a bad idea, but he was smiling at her, making her feel like the centre of the universe again, and she would have agreed to pretty much anything to keep him smiling at her. She was a little shocked by her need to please him. Her brain began trying to formulate a reason for it but Eleanor shut it down quickly, pushing it aside; she did not want to know – it was not something she could deal with right now.
She spent a restless night tossing and turning, unable to get rid of the feeling that she was about to make a huge mistake. As a result, she was only dozing lightly when Conlan woke before dawn the next morning and snuck from his bed. She waited a little while to see if he was coming back, but when he failed to return she got out of bed and followed him. She found him with Rand, talking quietly in his growling language as he gently stroked the horse’s nose and neck, scratching him behind the ears. He did not turn as she approached.
“I think he missed you,” Eleanor commented.
“The feeling is mutual,” Conlan said softly.
“Are we going to try this connection thing today?” Eleanor asked, trying not to sound as worried as she felt.
“This afternoon. Will and Amelia need some time this morning, so I am going to give you a sword-fighting lesson. Freddie says you are ready.”
“Erm… ok?”
“Get a good breakfast, you are going to need it,” he said, a soft rumble running through the comment, which sounded to Eleanor like amusement.
Conlan was already in the side cave Freddie used for practice when Eleanor arrived. He was loosely swinging a sword around. Even his relaxed warm-up had the deadly, graceful precision and practiced look of a professional. Once they got going, Eleanor start
ed to enjoy herself. The heavy sword felt comfortable in her hand and the steady, flowing movements she was learning were stretching her muscles in new ways. Eventually Conlan moved into attacks and defences, playing the part of the enemy. From one such attack Eleanor tried the flicking sword move she had used to kill the Protector, but Conlan stopped it easily and before she could blink he had swung his sword back, bringing the sharp edge to a stop a hair’s breadth from the side of her neck, his implication clear that if he had been a real enemy, he would have taken her head off.
“I got lucky with that Protector, didn’t I?” Eleanor said, looking at the sword edge warily.
“You stood your ground against an armed man – that took a lot of courage, but yes, Eleanor, you were very lucky,” Conlan said solemnly.
“What should I have done?”
Conlan smiled and began to explain to her how to read the enemy, what to look for in an initial attack and how that might lead on to further moves. His animated conversation and thoughtful guidance gave Eleanor a totally different view of his personality; this was someone she very much liked, someone she could relate to.
After several hours of swinging a sword at her, Conlan moved on to testing the fighting skills she had been learning from Freddie. He pointed out her weaknesses – the lack of strength in her punches and her lack of height and weight – and then he showed her how to make up for those weaknesses. Using her elbow to punch instead of her fist when she could, pushing through with her hips to give extra power and all the delicate points on a human body that could be exploited with a well-aimed elbow or foot were imparted. Conlan then moved on to getting her to use these lessons for real.
His attacks were slow to begin with, allowing her time to think before she reacted, but there was force in his moves, blocking and deflecting them hurt. Not wanting to admit that she could not keep the punishment up much longer, Eleanor began forcibly punching and kicking back, hoping he would back off. It had the opposite effect. Conlan gave her an amused, predatory grin and attacked her with increased force and speed. I have to stop this before I end up a large walking bruise. Conlan slung a right-handed punch at her head. Eleanor saw her opportunity and, already moving, blocked with her right hand, span round and planted her left elbow into his stomach, taking grim satisfaction from his sharp exhalation of breath. Her back to him, she pinned his right arm tight into her body, and then pulling hard she dropped onto her right knee, flicking her hips as Freddie had taught her. Following the momentum of his punch, Conlan’s body was already twisting in the direction Eleanor had pulled him, so he had no choice but to follow her movement round, his feet coming out from under him. He landed heavily on his back, but before he could recover any sort of composure Eleanor threw a punch and stopped it millimetres from the bridge of his nose.
Conlan stared at her in surprise, a wide, genuine smile spread across his face. Clapping erupted from the cave’s entrance, where Amelia stood watching. Conlan got back to his feet; Eleanor gave him a cheeky smirk as he winced. Amelia came over with mugs of water.
“That was great!” Amelia enthused.
“She thinks she’s Xena,” Conlan said. Amelia did a double take, wide eyes bemused. Conlan gave Eleanor a suspicious sideways glance.
“Xena... a warrior princess of your world,” he offered in explanation.
“Yes, Boss, I know who Xena is; I was just trying to figure out how you do,” Amelia said, doing her best to hide her amusement. Eleanor dissolved into giggles.
“Eleanor mentioned her once. Is there something funny about it?” he muttered.
“Not really, I just imagine that Eleanor neglected to mention that Xena isn’t a real person, she’s a character on a television show,” Amelia said.
Conlan sighed, looking sternly at Eleanor. “You’ve obviously watched entirely too much television.” His very serious expression and parental tone, not to mention his attitude of absolute authority over something he knew nothing about, just made Eleanor laugh harder.
After a lunch Eleanor was too nervous to do anything other than pick at, they went back to the training room. Freddie, Amelia and Will joined them. Conlan made them sit in a circle and he told them to close their eyes and concentrate on their internal energy. Eleanor did as she was told, feeling the solid ball of energy she imagined in her stomach pulse and twitch with her heartbeat and the constant light pulling on Freddie’s energy. As she sat with her eyes closed she gradually became aware of those around her. Amelia was to her left; soft, feathery energy, very nearly non-existent, hidden almost completely in the familiar heat of Freddie’s energy on her right. Concentrating harder, Eleanor felt Will. His energy was deep and flowing, and it threatened to suck her in. Next to him was Conlan. Eleanor slowly extended a ‘string’ from her energy ball and used it to push gently at Conlan. His energy was there, but it was so very different to the others’. It was like his energy was inside a glass ball – she could feel it but not reach it. She tried repeatedly to push her energy through to his, but she did not have the strength to penetrate the barrier. Without warning, Conlan’s energy seemingly extended through his shield, attached itself to hers and began pulling. Eleanor gasped. Pain, like someone was forcibly and very clumsily removing her intestines, tore through her. Shocked, Eleanor snapped her energy back, eyes flying open. Conlan was staring at her. They regarded each other in silence while the others sat around with their eyes still closed.
“I felt you,” Conlan said softly.
Amelia, Freddie and Will opened their eyes to look at Conlan, who was still staring at Eleanor.
“I felt you too and I didn’t like it!” Eleanor said bluntly.
“I never said you were going to like it - let’s try again,” Conlan said. Nodding reluctantly Eleanor closed her eyes and concentrated. This time she kept her distance from Conlan and concentrated on Will, his energy the strongest next to Freddie’s. Eleanor very cautiously extended an energy string towards him. He did not grab but seemed to intertwine around it; there was a tugging sensation, but it was far from uncomfortable. It felt sort of tickly, like getting a bare foot sucked into mud.
Hello, Eleanor.
Will’s friendly greeting made her smile. When she had visited Freddie’s mind she had seen Freddie burning in front of her, but this was different. It was like Will had an empty, white-washed room in his head and their awareness filled it. She felt his friendly curiosity all around her.
Hello, Will. Are all men’s minds this empty?
Will’s laughter echoed around the empty space. No, Eleanor, contrary to popular belief, guys do have occasional thoughts. You’re not in my mind. Think of this as an antechamber, a space where we can talk. I can choose what to say to you, what to show you – my thoughts are my own.
Show me?
I can show you my memories if I wish to, let you feel my emotions, just as you can show me yours if you want to.
Wow, we can mind-meld?
Will laughed again. Yes, you could call it that. Conlan’s right – you have watched too much TV!
Eleanor giggled. Can you feel Conlan?
Sort of… I know he’s there, and I’ve tried reaching him in the past, but there’s something blocking me, shielding him from my attempts. If I get too close he tries to pull energy from me. It’s not a very pleasant experience. The last time he tried I responded instinctively with such force I almost killed him. Generally, I try to keep my distance.
Eleanor received several flashes of Will’s memories, occasions they had tried to connect in the past, with Conlan lying in an unconscious, crumpled heap.
Have you explained this to him? Eleanor felt a strong surge of guilt from Will and even stronger feelings of concern and devotion.
Until you arrived we were never going to get it to work anyway, so I didn’t see much point in crushing his hopes, Will said. We’re doing something wrong, aren’t we?
Yes, Eleanor agreed. I can’t imagine we’re meant to feel like our insides are being ripped out, so there must be an
other way. Do you mind if I try pulling your energy from you? Will’s presence faded slightly and Eleanor got the impression he had just taken a mental step away from her.
I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Eleanor. I did Conlan quite a bit of damage the last time, I could kill you.
Eleanor shrugged. I’m willing to take the risk; I need to know what’s possible, if I’m going to figure this out.
Will snorted. Arrogant, aren’t you?
Eleanor smiled. No, just determined.
OK, but be careful, Will warned.
Getting as firm a hold on Will’s energy as possible, she carefully began absorbing it. When Will did not react, she focused all her concentration into pulling as much energy from him as she could. It was like drinking water. It felt like her stomach was filling to bursting point with cold liquid, but the more she drank, the more she wanted. The effort it was taking was pushing her towards exhaustion, but she was taking so much energy she found she could keep the fatigue at bay. It was a rather unpleasant feeling having Will’s energy slosh around inside her, like her own energy was drowning. She heard voices in the distance, someone yelling her name. A sudden stinging pain snapped her eyes back open. Conlan was kneeling in front of her. He seemed on the edge of panic. This is very unlike him, a detached part of Eleanor’s mind observed. He slapped her face a second time as he yelled.
“Eleanor! Stop!”
The detached part of her mind knew there must be something wrong, but another, much stronger part felt only the pain. Angry, she fought back, releasing all the energy she had pulled from Will directly at Conlan. His eyes widened in agony as it hit him and coursed through every cell in his body like thousands of volts of electricity. He collapsed writhing onto the floor, his gasping, tormented cries filling Eleanor’s head and reverberating through her stupefied brain.
“Eleanor, stop it, you’re going to kill him!” Amelia shrieked.
“I’m trying!” Eleanor said through gritted teeth, as she tried desperately to pull the energy back, but once released it flowed from her – she had no control. While there was no let-up in the onslaught Eleanor had unleashed on him, Conlan’s movements were getting weaker, his cries reduced to whimpering sobs. Freddie moved to her side.
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