“This sword used to belong to my grandfather,” he said. “He was an honourable man. I was never worthy of it and it became tarnished and damaged in my possession. The tarnish and damage are gone and you have done the same for my soul. I no longer need a sword, but you do, so have this with my grateful thanks.” Will smiled at the man and took the sword from him. Duncan nodded and then slowly approached Eleanor where she stood next to Horse. “I have something for you, too,” he said quietly. Confused, Eleanor stared. Duncan looked at her, his face solemn. “I know you practice magic, Eleanor. Your secret is safe with me, I promise. I know you think you caused the earthquake in Nethrus. You have accepted my apologies, but you have never asked for what I know you want; you have never asked for forgiveness, so I offer it to you now. The people of Nethrus? If you had anything to do with that, I am sure it was an accident. I experienced that earthquake and watched friends die, but I forgive you – on behalf of all the dead and wounded of Nethrus, I forgive you. If my forgiveness gives you one moment of peace, one moment of happiness, then I give your friends the gift of your smile.” It was such a profoundly sweet and innocent notion that Eleanor was stunned. She knew that Duncan could not really absolve her of her crimes against the people of Nethrus, but hearing someone say she was forgiven was a deeply cathartic experience. Layers of grief, pain, self-loathing and guilt, already loosened by Conlan’s forgiveness, fell away and she had a feeling of being so light she could fly. She knew that tears were running down her face, but she was also smiling, her heart filling with gratitude for this man. Duncan watched her with a wide, honest, pleased-with-himself grin on his face.
“Thank you, Duncan,” Eleanor said between sobs and still smiling at him, her heart healing a little with every tear. Happiness flowing within, Eleanor unthinkingly pushed energy strings deep into the earth, wanting to share her joy. Her energy surged through the soil, denied so long this simple pleasure. The earth enveloped her, supported her and pulled her deeper. She eased her energy and delight into the world around her and let earth’s energy flood through her soul.
It was Amelia’s short intake of breath that brought Eleanor back to reality.
“Wow,” Freddie breathed.
Pulling her energy back, wiping her tears Eleanor gasped as she looking around her. The clearing was alive with plant life; a thick, bright-green carpet of grass had grown up on what they had trampled down to mud during their stay. A profusion of multi-coloured flowers were visible in the grass – vibrant, velvety petals delicate in the cold wind and totally out of place in the grey autumn. The trees that enclosed the clearing had grown fresh leaves, and buds on their branches had begun to blossom, as if it was suddenly spring again. It was beautiful and it was impossible.
“Oops,” Eleanor whispered, looking at Duncan’s astonished face. He was so surprised that he totally ignored Conlan when he came to stand next to him.
“You are a goddess, I attacked a goddess,” Duncan said, sounding utterly horrified.
“No, she is not a goddess, but it is a common misconception,” Conlan told him, sounding amused. Noticing Conlan, Duncan glanced at him and then immediately turned back to stare open-mouthed at Eleanor.
“Then what is she? She did this… How did she do this? When you said she caused the earthquake in Nethrus, I did not think you meant literally… such power in such a tiny, delicate… What is she?” Duncan looked totally bewildered, frightened even. Putting his arm round Duncan’s shoulder, Conlan led the man away, talking to him in quiet tones that Eleanor could not hear; every so often, Duncan would turn to look at her, eyes wide.
“I guess Duncan helped,” Will said.
Eleanor nodded and smiled; it felt as if it was the first time she had done so in months.
Will smiled. “Then I’m glad he lived.”
Eleanor held Will’s gaze. “Thank you.”
Will shrugged. “It was mostly luck.”
“No, it was copious amounts of time, patience and skill. Duncan is grateful and so am I,” Eleanor said, not satisfied until Will grudgingly accepted her praise. Freddie moved to her side, wrapping his arms around her.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he whispered, using his low voice as an excuse to lean in to her, his lips grazing her cheek. It made her feel uncomfortable, but she resisted the urge to shove him back. She had no right to treat him that way, especially as she had encouraged this behaviour by relying on him. Since Conlan had rejected her there had been several times when he had been close, too close, looking at her in a way that felt more than friendly. I used him, and that’s going to have consequences. Leaving Freddie as a problem she would have to deal with later, Eleanor forced her body to relax into his arms and smiled at him. His black eyes gazed lovingly back and Eleanor felt a small stone of dread drop to the bottom of her stomach.
Conlan had finished talking to Duncan and they were walking back towards them. Eleanor could see the amusement in his eyes. The stunned look on Duncan’s face said everything; despite the dangers and despite his need for secrecy, Conlan had told the poor confused man the truth. Eleanor wondered why. Duncan approached Eleanor, and to her horror he dropped to his knees at her feet.
“I want to say I am sorry,” Duncan said quietly, his head bowed. Eleanor looked down at him.
“You have said sorry several times, Duncan. I forgive you, so I do not need to hear it again, please get up.”
“But when I apologised before, I did not know who you were,” Duncan said miserably.
“Duncan, it should make no difference. I could be the lowest nobody or a goddess, but either way, what you had planned to do was wrong. You apologised and you seem to have changed your ways, so I accept that. I have no idea what Conlan just told you, but I do not need any different treatment. Now please get up before you make me angry.” She stepped forward, intent on dragging the man back to his feet, if necessary. Duncan gazed at her in awe as she helped him up.
“I know that you have a dangerous mission ahead of you, so if you ever have need of my help in the future you need only ask.”
Eleanor smiled at him. “You seem to know an awful lot,” she said, giving Conlan a questioning glance. He shrugged and smiled. So much for keeping secrets. “Be careful what you offer, Duncan,” Eleanor warned. “You may find that I hold you to it!”
Duncan laughed. “I very much hope so, my lady.”
Merl
They finally managed to leave. Will grumbled that he had not finished his picture of Eleanor’s flowers, and his drawings were never as good if he had to do them from memory. Duncan waved them off, and as they moved through the now blossoming trees, out of the wood, Eleanor’s curiosity started poking her and she moved a little faster so that she was walking next to Conlan.
“What did you say to Duncan?”
Conlan turned and smiled at her. “I told him the truth,” he replied. Eleanor frowned; this was not like him at all.
“OK, well I’m assuming you mean some of the truth, not all of it, so what exactly did you tell him?”
“I told him you were an Avatar, that the others were also Avatars and that you were here to help Mydren and that there were big changes coming,” Conlan said, shrugging. Eleanor’s frown deepened.
“That’s some really dangerous information to be giving him; he could blab that to a Protector. That could have some unpleasant consequences for us and him.”
“Blab?” Conlan asked.
“To ‘blab’, meaning to talk too much, to tell secrets you shouldn’t,” Eleanor said in flat monotone, well aware that Conlan was trying to distract her from her line of argument. He nodded and turned back to look where he was going, as if the conversation was over. Eleanor huffed. “You didn’t answer my question.”
Still looking ahead, Conlan smiled. “I did answer your question, but what I didn’t address was your unspoken criticism of my actions.” Annoyed by his calm, amused attitude she glared at him.
“Should I make it a spoken criticism?”
&n
bsp; Conlan chuckled. “If you like.”
Irritation making her shoulders tense, Eleanor nearly tripped over because she was staring at Conlan and not looking where she was going. He caught her by the elbow as she stumbled and pulled her back to her feet.
“Thank you,” she muttered, embarrassed.
“You should look where you’re going,” Conlan commented. Irritation jumped into anger, and with a hand on his arm, Eleanor dragged Conlan to a stop.
“You’re in such a good mood right now, it’s scary!” she snapped. “Why did you tell Duncan about us? Are you trying to get him killed?” The humour vanished from Conlan’s eyes. He stared at her, as if trying to work out what he should say. The fact that he had to think about his response did not fill Eleanor with confidence that she was going to like the answer. When he eventually replied, his voice was even.
“Against my better judgement I actually quite liked Duncan, and I wanted him to know the truth. I wanted him to tell people about us. The Lords of Mydren know we exist, and because of the earthquake their Enforcers will have told them we’re a threat; we’re getting closer and closer to having to fight them in open battle. If we have to do that before we’ve figured out how the connection works, I would prefer it if we had a sizeable army on our side! If Duncan tells people about us, tells people we’re not to be feared, then maybe some of the populous will fight with us.”
“That’s a risky position to put the man in,” Will said, worry hardening his tone. Eleanor turned; they were all staring at Conlan.
“Yeah! We should have had a discussion about this before you told him – this is something we should have voted on,” Freddie said, giving Conlan an irritated look. Conlan looked back at them, unconcerned.
“I hadn’t intended to tell him anything. I wanted to, but you’re right, it’s a risk. However, Eleanor’s little... what’s that word you used for gardens, Will?”
“Horticulture?” Will guessed.
Conlan nodded. “Eleanor’s little horticultural explosion made it necessary for me to say something, so I improvised.” He saw the look on Eleanor’s face and his expression softened. “I’m not blaming you, Eleanor,” he said quietly. “Sooner or later the people of Mydren were going to have to know who we are, so this just pushed up the timescale slightly. I warned Duncan about the dangers he was facing, but he wants to help; besides, I think the man is more than capable of taking care of himself.”
Eleanor nodded. She was afraid – for Duncan and for them – and she unconsciously pulled back into Horse’s warm, downy neck for support. Horse gently wrapped her head over Eleanor’s shoulder, laying it across her chest. Eleanor raised a hand absently scratching behind her ears. The comfort the animal gave her provided the courage to bring her gaze back to Conlan’s. He had a small smile on his face, but such pain in his eyes that the bright green orbs seemed duller; Eleanor knew what he was thinking about, even before the wave of loss and sorrow washed over her.
“You miss Rand,” she whispered.
“Very much,” he agreed, his voice gritty and strained. She extracted herself from Horse and took his hand, giving it a squeeze.
“I miss him too,” she said. “So does Horse – she had some very romantic intensions where Rand was concerned.” She had been saving this piece of information for an occasion like this, and as Eleanor had hoped, surprise and then amusement took some of the pain out of Conlan’s eyes and his smile widened, became more genuine. Horse was looking at him with her adoring brown eyes; he stepped forward, running a gentle hand down her nose, and then chuckling softly to himself, he turned and set off again through the trees and they followed after him.
For the first few days their journey was slow and arduous, as Conlan took them cross-country so that Nethrus did not come into sight at any point. Eleanor was relieved she would not have to witness the destruction again, but she was even more relieved when they made it back onto the track and started heading south. With Rand gone, they were not able to set the quick pace they were used to. Will’s horse, now carrying him and Amelia, tired after only a few hours. Amelia’s horse, not used to carrying Conlan’s weight, would also slow at the slightest opportunity.
When they stopped yet again, Eleanor saw Horse turn her head to stare at her. Eleanor smiled, rubbing the animal’s neck. Horse continued to stare at her. Surprised, Eleanor pushed an energy string into the animal’s head and was nearly knocked off her back with the strength of the thoughts Horse sent her. Images of Eleanor and Amelia on Horse’s back. Eleanor sent the animal feelings of concern, as she was just a small horse and she did not want to hurt her. The image she received back was as close to screaming ‘hypocrite’ as Horse could get. I keep telling people I don’t need protecting, so maybe Horse doesn’t either.
“Will?” Eleanor said, his blond head turning questioningly in her direction. “Horse thinks that she can carry Amelia as well as me, and she thinks she can do it at a far quicker pace than yours and Freddie’s horses.”
Will frowned. “Eleanor, Horse is a little small to be carrying two.”
Eleanor nodded. “Yes, but she wants to help. Maybe we could give her the benefit of the doubt for a few hours?”
Will shrugged. “OK, but I want you to keep up regular checks, make sure she’s handling the extra weight.”
Amelia slid off the back of Will’s horse, and Eleanor slipped her foot out of her stirrup so that Amelia could use it to mount. The tall woman pulled herself up behind Eleanor, wriggling to get herself comfortable on top of the bags and blankets strapped to the back of the saddle. Even sat on the raised piles of luggage, Amelia’s feet nearly reached the ground. Worried, Eleanor pushed into Horse’s head, wanting to know if she was OK. Horse sent her an image back of the overflowing cartful of produce her previous owner had made her pull, indicating that what she carried now was featherlight in comparison.
They looked ludicrous, but Horse had been right, she was able to carry Amelia and Eleanor at a far quicker pace and they began to make better time. Moving south, the weather began to get warmer. It was still grey and wet, but now it was humid during the day and cold at night. The landscape began to change, with rolling hills giving way to a flat, eerily quiet, mostly empty nothing that seemed to go on forever. The lush, green grass disappeared, replaced by tall, golden grasses that Horse did not enjoy eating. The soil became cracked, dry and bleached, and rain stood in huge puddles because the soil was not able to absorb it quickly enough. Vegetation was sparse, although the frequent precipitation made what little there was a bright, fresh green; flowers bloomed for a few hours and propagated, before they shrivelled in the damp heat. Prickly bushes that ripped and tore at anything that moved too close became common, ugly black tangles that broke up the endless landscape. The trees changed too, becoming shorter and more gnarled, twisted in the heat, their leaves stiff and leathery. Unlike the desert, Eleanor felt as if nothing here ever moved, as if it was stuck in time.
Food, or the lack thereof, was starting to be a worry again. They did see the occasional hare, its fur the same pale, sandy cream as the soil and rocks, but there did not seem to be enough of them. Eleanor had suggested they try one of the large chameleon-type lizards they came across on a regular basis and had been met with four slightly disgusted looks. Freddie commented that she had only suggested it because she knew she would not have to eat it. Slowly but surely, disgust had given way to resignation when they realised there was very little else to eat. As it turned out the lizards tasted quite good, they were easy to catch and had enough meat on one to feed four. Eleanor had stuck to eating the sweet, juicy pear-type fruits off the prickly bushes. They were difficult to harvest, leaving Eleanor covered in small scratches, but a couple were a meal in themselves, and supplemented with some of the nuts, beans and dried berries Will had packed for her and the flat, gritty bread cakes Amelia made from flour and water, it was enough. Horse liked the fruit too, and Eleanor discovered eating them had the side effect of giving both of them a natural repellent
to the little biting gnats that swarmed above the warm, shallow standing water left by the frequent but brief thunderstorms. The track disappeared as they travelled further south, leaving them riding across hard, baked earth until it rained and the top layer of soil became slippery mud. They had not seen a soul in weeks, not that Eleanor was particularly unhappy about this, as from what she had been told and experienced, she was not sure she wanted to meet any of the criminal lowlifes that inhabited this surreal, flat place. Freddie had asked Conlan what his plan was and he had given him an amused smile – no plan, just keep walking until they found who they were looking for. On this occasion, knowing nothing about the ‘People of the Horse’, Freddie had shrugged his acceptance of the ‘non-plan’.
“Eleanor, I think that bird is following us,” Amelia said. She sounded concerned, her eyes fixed on a small dot circling high above them. Eleanor lifted her gaze to the sky, for once cloudless, and followed the bird’s progress as it moved effortlessly through the air. The sky was an odd colour here, like the soft blue had a yellowy tinge to it, making it blend with the horizon – no end, no beginning, just a seamless circle of land and sky. It sometimes made Eleanor feel like she was stuck in the snow globe she had loved as a child, only it was rain that fell here, not snow.
“Eleanor!” Amelia’s voice was sharp and impatient. “I said, do you see it?”
“Yes, it’s just a bird, Amelia, it’s not the first we’ve seen.”
“Eleanor, it’s a really big bird and it’s following us. You don’t think that’s a little odd?” Amelia asked.
“My entire life is a little odd, Amelia, and so is yours. It’s a bird. I don’t care, but if you think it might be edible, Will is going to be interested.” Amelia fell into wounded silence behind her.
Eleanor Page 47