by Calista Fox
She allowed him to take over as they descended one side of the sweeping staircase. In between the two artistically curving structures was a gorgeous Christmas tree that stretched from the ground floor to the second-level mezzanine. All decorated in shimmering golden ornaments and glittery white twinkle lights.
Nikki chose not to consider it was the holiday season and she was spending it with no family.
Rather, she remained focused on her new mission.
As they headed to the door, however, she heard the tapping of hard-soled slippers on the marble, rushing toward her.
And then Mads called out, “Dr. Kane! You can’t leave just yet! It’s Christmas Eve—we have the family tree to decorate and all these tamales to eat and—”
Emotion instantly welled within Nikki.
She stared at the double doors of the entryway, mere feet from her.
Her escape was close at hand. So close.
Tears pooled in her eyes and her nose burned.
Come on, she told herself.
You have a clean break here.
Go, Nikki.
Just go!
She took one step forward as Mads delivered the final blow. “I have a gift for you!”
Nikki nearly crumbled where she stood.
What sort of new torture to her heart was this?
42
Nikki took several deep breaths.
Child psychology had not been her specialty in school or in practice, until she’d joined the search and rescue movement. Then she’d not only boned up in anticipation of being in the field/onsite during natural (and other) disasters, but she’d also been thrust into catering her efforts toward traumatized and grieving children during the Mexico City explosions. The hospital where the majority of the victims had been sent had temporarily served as a group home for the misplaced children. The ones who’d been verifiably orphaned…and the ones waiting to hear if their parents, if their family members had survived.
So maybe she did possess the skill set to deal with a nine-year-old girl who’d lost her mother and her father and now resided with her grandmother and her uncle.
But that wasn’t Nikki’s intention. She did not want to get fully involved with Mads, because the girl already had a therapist and Nikki would never want to interfere with that relationship or hinder the progress made thus far. Nor did Nikki want to take on Damen’s niece, have Mads get attached to her, when she was headed out the door.
And goddamn it—she was headed out the door!
Yet she didn’t take another step forward.
She turned slowly and forced a smile to her face.
Mads gave her a lopsided, yet wholly hopeful smile of her own. “I promise the tamales are the absolute best you’ll ever taste, Dr. Kane. Nana and I made them together.”
Oh, the heartstrings being pulled!
“I don’t doubt it for a second,” Nikki said. “And I happen to be a huge fan of tamales.”
“So you’ll stay?” she more cheerfully asked. “I mean, they’re not until later. First, we have breakfast. Then we trim the family tree—this is just our official showoff tree.” She indicated the enormous spruce in the foyer.
With a fractured laugh, Nikki total her, “The showoff tree is gorgeous. But I bet the family one is even prettier.”
“It has tons of ornaments that Nana says have been with the Castillos for decades.” She emphasized the last word as though meaning to say, since the beginning of time. Then she added, “And there are some from Nana’s side, too. After we’re done, we get our big Christmas Eve feast ready, stuff the stockings and then choose one gift to open. Just one.”
Mads pulled her hand from behind her back and thrust it toward Nikki. She held a small box with rainbow wrapping, a white satin bow and a cutout unicorn head dangling from the ribbon.
“I want you to open this one tonight,” Mads told her.
Nikki felt the sting at the backs of her eyes again.
“I also made you a stocking for the fireplace—to go with all of ours.”
Nikki blinked back the tears.
Mads continued on, as though she really weren’t shredding Nikki from the inside out.
“You see, Uncle Damen’s never brought a woman home. That must make you really special. And Nana and I both think that when you met special people, you should consider that your gift.”
“Oh, my God,” Nikki whispered. And the fat drops crested her eyes and tumbled down her suddenly flushed cheeks.
“Mads.” Damen’s low, warm timbre came from behind his niece.
Nikki’s gaze snapped up to meet his and he mouthed sorry.
She gave a slight shake of her head.
Mads asked, “Did I say something wrong?”
“Not at all,” Nikki was quick to tell her, her attention returning to Mads. She left her suitcase and her laptop bag where she’d been standing and crossed to the little girl. She leaned down and assured her, “You said everything perfectly right. It’s just that, you’re so sweet. So incredibly kind and thoughtful, that it touched me. Deeply. So…thank you.”
“Does that mean you’ll stay?”
Christ…what else was she to do? Of course, she’d have to stay. For one more night. Only.
Accepting the box Mads still held toward her, Nikki said, “I’d be honored to. And I really want to open your present for Christmas Eve—and see the stocking you made for me.”
Now, Mads beamed. She adorably sighed with relief and a comical hint of drama. “Phew. I thought you were going to leave.”
Nikki felt a tinge of guilt and regret when she told Mads, “I do have to be somewhere else. It’s my job. But…I’ve already sent a lot of people in my place, so one more day will be all right, I suppose.”
“Awesome! Let’s eat pancakes!” Mads took Nikki’s free hand and dragged her through the oversized archway and toward the formal dining room.
As Nikki passed by Damen, he muttered, “Thank you.”
She gave a shrug. “How could I possibly have said no to her?”
Damen followed behind them.
When they reached the dining room, Mads made the rounds with Nikki and explained all the buffet-style stations and various offerings.
Though, when she was done, she drew up short and stared in mock-horror at the butler. “Wait! Something’s missing! The most important thing of all—the pancakes!”
She appeared duly stricken.
Nikki shot a look at Damen, who grinned. He said, “We’re trying something different this morning.”
“No, no, no!” Mads chanted, clearly panicked. She released Nikki’s hand and turned to her uncle. “I have pancakes when I’m on school break. It’s what I look forward to when I’m on school break!”
“Is that all you look forward to?” her grandmother asked as she entered the room.
“Well, it’s not all that I look forward to. Of course, I want to see you and Uncle Damen,” she asserted with a hint of exasperation that made Nikki laugh—and stemmed further tears.
“Lucky us,” Damen sardonically murmured.
Mads said, “It’s just that they’re pancakes!”
“Fortunately for you,” he told her, “I know they’re your favorite. So I bought you this.”
The butler retrieved a large present from one of the cabinets of the elegant credenzas and gave it to Damen, who ceremoniously handed it over to Mads.
Naturally, the wrapping paper had unicorns on it, which delighted the girl no end. She placed it on the long dining table and carefully opened the gift, preserving the paper as best as possible. Then she squealed and jumped up and down, her rainbow hair shimmering in a wave of color.
“Best. Present. Ever!” she cried and clapped her hands together, while bouncing on the balls of her feet. She held up the box for everyone to see. “It makes unicorn-shaped pancakes!”
Her excitement alone permeated the room.
And all Nikki could think was that this was everything she’d once thought she’d have. Wi
th Conner.
As her gaze slid to Damen, she further wondered… Was all of this—from the moment she’d met Damen Castillo until this very second she shared with his family—some sort of sign from the cosmos?
One she really ought to pay attention to?
43
Damen wasn’t surprised Nikki had stuck around, upon Mads’ request. She wasn’t exactly the crusher of dreams or good graces, and Damen thought she might even have a soft spot for Mads and her rainbow hair.
Damen was, however, a bit shocked that his niece had pulled out some pretty big guns to convince Nikki to stay.
The main reason this took him aback was that Mads had difficulty these days accepting new acquaintances into her life. Hence, her grandmother having told her that meeting special people was a gift from above. Mads was damn particular and discerning about who fit that bill. Nikki had apparently made the grade. Primarily by virtue of Damen considering her to be special, without doubt. But still… Mads was perceptive and selective. She’d made her decision regarding Nikki wisely.
Yes, Damen understood that his niece’s appeal put Nikki in yet another complex position. She’d been all prepared to leave, to get on with her life, her mission, her work. Then she’d been emotionally bulldozed.
Damen had mixed feelings about this.
Obviously, he wasn’t the least bit interested in letting Nikki walk out the door—and he sure as hell wasn’t thrilled she might have done more than walk out the door. She could very easily disappear from his life.
Not that he didn’t have people to keep an eye on her. But he couldn’t force his own presence upon her, suffocate her with what he wanted…which was to be with her.
Rather, more specifically, for her to stay with him. And his family.
As much as he was grateful for one more day with Dr. Nikki Kane, he knew it further convoluted their relationship—and likely put an additional emotional strain on her.
Not his intention, at all.
Luckily, she’d made up her mind without any prompting or cajoling from him. Damen was grateful she’d opted to spend the day with them.
While he helped Mads work the unicorn-shaped pancake mold on the griddle, pouring in the batter and adding the various food colors to her liking, swirling them around to decorate the horn and the mane, then adding sprinkles for a shimmery effect, Nikki sat with his mother at the long table.
They sipped coffee and chatted amiably. Naturally, Damen was damn curious to know the topic of conversation. But he wouldn’t intrude. In fact, he made it a point not to impede in any way or crowd Nikki.
She’d attempted to slip out this morning without saying goodbye to him, and that spoke volumes. She’d needed a clean break. She’d gotten it from him…just not from the nine-year-old who’d taken an instant liking to her.
Damen’s eyelids had drifted open as Nikki was leaving his bedroom and the regret and loss had slammed into him like a ten-ton anvil. Striking smack in the middle of his chest so that he couldn’t breathe.
So that he couldn’t ask her to stay.
Granted, he knew he had no right to ask her to stay. He didn’t have a leg to stand on in that vein.
Other than the fact that he was in love with her.
But he couldn’t play that card, either. Too much had passed between them. Too much that was neither good nor fair to her.
His only course of action was to let her get her life back on track. To follow-through with what she’d originally set out to do before he’d intercepted her on that airplane. Hell…before she’d even met him, in the hospital in Mexico City.
Naturally, he wondered if there was potentially some way to sway her into giving him another chance. To give them another chance.
Unfortunately, Damen believed he’d trespassed on her so greatly, there was no way to right their capsized ship.
So he’d showered, dressed and was on his way to breakfast when he’d crossed paths with Mads and Nikki in their tear-jerking moment. Damen had been deeply moved by his niece’s appeal to Nikki…as Nikki had been.
He’d been equally touched by Nikki’s compassion. She couldn’t turn Mads down. Regardless of how it once again derailed her plans.
All of this was a lot to process. And maybe one more day together only worsened the pain of impending separation, only prolonged the inevitable.
Therefore, Damen decided he’d continue with his plans for the coming afternoon. He was needed on the ops campus and that was where he’d go after breakfast.
As Mads served her first unicorn pancake to Nikki, their special guest, Damen poured coffee for himself and sipped. Nikki, of course, made a big production over Mads’ creation and that warmed Damen’s heart. Made him fall even a little more in love with her.
Then he set aside his cup and helped his niece with her next serving, for her Nana.
“Are you missing a plane this morning, dear?” Damen’s mother asked Nikki.
She reached for the butter and delicately skated the blade of the accompanying knife over the whipped mixture, then spread it across her vibrantly colored pancake.
She told Mrs. Castillo, “I was planning on eating breakfast in first class on my way to Switzerland, yes. But…this is lovelier. Damen found the perfect present for Mads.”
“Mm, he always does.”
Nikki’s gaze slid to the buffet table, where Damen and Mads were working together to achieve another masterpiece pancake.
Nikki’s heart twisted. Once again, this was a scene that was supposed to have come to fruition for her, with Conner. Only, the kid was supposed to be theirs. A boy or a girl, it never would have mattered—they would have been thrilled either way. And if they’d been even further blessed, he or she would have been the first to kick off their family unit.
And this was precisely how they all would have spent their weekend mornings together, and most certainly the holidays.
Perhaps that was one of the reasons Nikki had let Mads sway her. In addition to not having the heart to let the little girl down, to walk out on her when she’d pleaded with Nikki to spend Christmas Eve with them and share in their family traditions, Nikki had also considered that having even a small taste of everything she’d always wanted, had dreamed of achieving with her husband, and had never experienced was the greatest temptation of all.
An irresistible one.
Meaning that rebooking her flight and really and truly leaving on Christmas morning was going to be yet another excruciating instance to endure.
But it’d be worth it, she told herself. To collect this precious memory, tuck it away and carry it with her.
It’d be worth it… She was sure of it.
Especially seeing how much Damen and Mads adored each other and how great they were together, how he made her giggle and she made him smile.
It was agonizing to witness in some respects; all of them she’d recounted previously. But also incredibly beautiful.
Nikki dabbed her eyes with her napkin and then poured syrup on her pancake. She waited until Mrs. Castillo had her own plate in front of her and they both dug in, the older woman clearly sensing Nikki needed a reprieve to collect herself.
Problem was… Nikki wasn’t sure she was ever going to recover from this.
44
Breakfast lasted for quite some time and Nikki found that she didn’t mind. Though she certainly did overeat.
How could she not? Mads was having too much fun experimenting with the color palette and the tools that came with her unicorn mold and she kept cranking out pancakes somebody had to devour—and Nikki was thriving on the comfort food.
Talk about eating your feelings.
Though, she happily did it, because it made Mads happy.
And Nikki was also enjoying Mrs. Castillo’s company.
Afterward, Nikki walked with Damen to the foyer. He’d told her he was required on the ops campus today...and he invited her to go along with him.
Nikki gave a slight shake of her head. “Sorry, but we saw how I r
esponded to that adventure previously. I could use some distance from the whole ordeal.”
“Of course,” he easily said, not pressing.
“I’m just here to retrieve my belongings.”
But as she approached the tall, gorgeous double doors of the entryway, neither her laptop bag nor her rollaboard were in sight.
Knowing precisely what she was looking for, Damen informed her, “I had them returned to my suite.”
“Of course,” she mimicked, a delicate mocking.
He chuckled. “Fine. Suffice it to say, I’m glad you’re here for one more day.”
“So am I,” she confessed. “A little holiday cheer goes a long way. Between my visit with Fiora’s family and now with yours, I guess I’m feeling as though I’m getting some normalcy back. And that reminds me...”
Consternation crept in on her.
Damen turned to face her. “Yes?”
“What, exactly, is Fiora’s fate, Damen?”
His jaw clenched briefly. Regret flashed in his eyes.
Nikki’s heart sank. As did her spirits.
“You already know the answer to that,” he quietly said.
“Suspension or an outright firing?” she countered.
“Leave without pay during the investigation period. Which I will not contribute to, Nik, other than to report the facts as I know them. I...” His voice trailed off and he let out a disgruntled sigh.
“You don’t want to inadvertently incriminate her further?” she ventured, hope tinging her voice.
“Garcia is a great agent. She’s quite useful. And...she saved your life.”
“Yours as well,” Nikki pointed out.
“Which I will represent accordingly. My biggest concern has been and remains that you were pulled into this unwittingly, undeservedly and—ultimately—in a capacity that has been wholly detrimental to you.”
“About all of that...” She winced.
“Yes?”
She drew in a breath, then more steadily said, “Damen, in the long run, she achieved exactly what she set out to accomplish—and thank God for it. She got that terrorist information into the right hands. Into your hands.”