by Calista Fox
And yet… Nikki was grateful to have captured this particular memory.
Mads asked, “You still have the present I gave you this morning, right?”
“Of course, I do. I’m saving it for Christmas Day.”
“Awesome,” she beamed. And cleaned up the mess they’d all created.
Later, when everyone retired and Nikki and Damen were in his suite, she told him, “I didn’t really find anything for you when I was in Little Tijuana. I’ll have to think on it some more.”
He closed the gap between them, his head dipped and he murmured, “No need. I know precisely what I want. No purchase necessary.”
His lips swept over hers.
Nikki’s insides ignited.
As much as she wanted to resist him, as much as she knew to resist him, she whispered back, “Tell me exactly what you have in mind.”
“I’d rather show you.”
47
Damen tugged gently on her hand, moving them toward the bed.
There was a fire in the hearth and no other illumination, other than the flickering flames. The window treatments were pulled back and the snow continued to fall, the slivers of moonlight through the cloud cover making them glimmer and shimmer as they fell.
Nikki shouldn’t let Damen seduce her with an enticing wintry setting and his sexy grin.
But it truly was impossible to resist him.
He was so gorgeous, so chiseled and so perfect. His blue eyes glowed mesmerizingly and it was no wonder Nikki was instantly hypnotized and letting him lead her as he walked backward to the bed and she followed him.
When they reached their destination, she stepped into his embrace. Her hands ran along the grooves of his abs in the opening of his suit jacket.
She didn’t really bother to draw this out… She gripped fistfuls of his crisp shirt and yanked it from the waist of his pants. Then she started slipping buttons through their holes, from the hem all the way up to his tie. Nikki made quick work of loosening the knot, but it was an impatient Damen who ripped one end from his neck and tossed the tie aside.
She finished freeing the little disks at his throat before he whipped the shirt and his jacket off his broad shoulders, letting them drop to the floor, not even caring about the wrinkles the three-thousand-dollar designer suit would incur.
He was too preoccupied with moving onto his belt. He hastily unfastened the buckle and the button on his pants, then slid the zipper down its track.
The zing made an erotic vibration through the quiet air.
Nikki knew they should say something about how they were venturing into dangerous territory by getting tangled up with each other one more time.
She couldn’t say a word.
She helped to shove Damen’s pants and boxer-briefs over his hips and down his thighs as he was toeing off his shoes. Then she was on her knees, divesting him fully of his clothing.
Her gaze slid upward, taking in every glorious inch of him.
Every glorious inch. Her eyes lingered on his erection and then swept over his abs and his pecs, also noting his bulging biceps. When she finally reached his face, the only thing the man was wearing was an amused grin. A sexy smirk, really.
He said, “You never fail to get the adrenaline pumping in my veins, Nik.”
“You never fail to break my restraint,” she countered. “I wasn’t going to do this again. But…” Her hands lightly glided up his thighs.
He pulled in a sharp breath.
Her fingers curled around his base and she stroked him slowly, upward to his tip and back to his root.
Damen’s jaw clenched.
Nikki’s pulse hitched.
She leaned into him and her tongue grazed his velvety skin, warm and slightly salty. She teased the underside of his head, then the tiny indentation on top, fluttering softly, while her fingers applied a bit more pressure on his shaft.
Damen swept away strands of hair from her face and then trailed his fingertips along her temple.
“You are so amazingly beautiful…and I love watching you do that to me.”
“I thoroughly enjoy doing this to you.” Her lips closed over him and she took him deep in her mouth, hearing Damen’s breaths turn harsh.
Her head bobbed slightly as she nearly relinquished him, then drew him farther in.
“Fuck… Nik…”
His dark tone sent a wave of excitement through her.
Her hand on his thigh cupped his balls and massaged tenderly as she continued to stroke him with her tongue, very lightly whisk her teeth over his sensitive flesh, then suck him a bit harder.
“Don’t make me come,” he warned. “Jesus, Nik. I want to be inside you when I do.”
She released him and stood, her hands skimming up his body, until she twined her arms around his neck.
She pressed herself against his bare muscles and rubbed a bit, making him grumble, “I need you out of these clothes. Now.”
He sat on the edge of the mattress. Nikki climbed onto his lap, straddling it.
Damen worked off her boots and socks as she kissed her way up his thick, corded neck. She nipped at his earlobe, making him groan.
His hands slipped under her sweater to cup her breasts through her lacy bra. He kneaded the mounds and toyed with the puckered peaks with his thumbs.
“You’re getting me all hot and bothered,” she murmured against his lips.
“So you know how I feel.”
“At least you’re naked.”
“An easy fix,” he told her.
He hauled the sweater over her head and it, too, pooled on the floor. One flick of the clasp at her back and her bra followed.
His mouth sealed hers just as he eased himself down to the bed. He pushed her leggings and panties over her hips and thighs and she wiggled out of them.
“Better,” he murmured.
And then he was inside her and sitting up again, plunging deep. So deep, Nikki gasped.
His hands on her hips led her into a sexy rhythm and they moved together slowly, sensuously, while gazing into each other’s eyes.
Emotion swelled within Nikki as much as desire did.
She was wholly in love with Damen. She couldn’t deny it. She couldn’t even run and hide from it.
Though, in a sense, she would be attempting that when she walked out the door tomorrow morning.
Physically.
Yet… In her heart… She’d harbor this love. She’d accept this love.
She’d also accept that they were two very different people with two very different agendas, two very different missions.
Despite them being on a perfectly aligned trajectory right this very second.
Damen kissed her again and it was as sweet as it was scorching. A mingling of need and intense yearning, combined with a desperation that stemmed from his knowing their time together was fleeting.
Nikki could easily interpret the mixed emotions and the way a part of him acknowledged he had her in his arms tonight, but come tomorrow…
“Just keep making love to me,” she whispered as she broke the kiss and stared into his eyes again. “For now… This is all that matters, Damen.”
48
In the morning, Nikki whispered in his ear, “Waking up in your arms is where I want to be. But you know I have to leave, right? I have my own quest. My own path. And you have…a lot of work to do, Damen.”
“If you’re worried you’ll distract me from hunting down terrorists, I’ll say… You do possess that ability.”
He rolled to his side, forcing her onto her back. Her legs willingly spread and he settled between them. He was naked and already hard for her and Nikki had no qualms about that.
“Sometimes, we exist in a perfect world,” she agonizingly mused. “Usually this time of the day, or late at night.”
“And you don’t think that means something significant?” he quietly urged as he slid inside her.
A soft moan tumbled from her lips. Her hands skimmed over his shoulders and
down his chest. Around to this back.
She’d told herself the previous evening that she needed to commit to memory every detail of this man’s body. His warm skin, his solid muscles. Not to mention his commanding presence and his ocean-deep eyes and his sexy smile. Because it was going to be the last time she touched him, the last time she gazed so intently at him.
And here she was… Once again, doing all of the aforementioned. He was that much of a temptation, that much of a burning desire she had to cave to in this instance, for better or for worse.
She very easily convinced herself that one more time with him wasn’t going to change anything between them. It wasn’t going to make her love him anymore or any less. It wasn’t going to make her want him anymore or any less.
She was forever branded with those emotions, those feelings, those sensations. Whether she experienced them this morning… Or never again. They were ingrained in her heart and stamped on her soul, regardless.
So enjoying him one more time… That really couldn’t hurt her, right?
Though… As he moved inside her, so deliciously slow and sensual, and their gazes locked and she stared into his beautiful blue eyes, glimmering with heat and need—and love—Nikki knew she was only deluding herself.
Because every second like this made the reality of her situation more impossible to reconcile in her mind.
Who would walk away from this?
If only that were an easy question to answer… If only there weren’t a number of variables that contributed to the overall, inevitable equation for which there was no solution.
Her hands glided down to his ass and she gripped him tight as he pumped deeper into her, with stronger, more assertive strokes that stole her breath.
He wanted her to feel him completely and remember what it was like to have him inside her. She saw that conviction in his gaze, knew precisely what he was up to—he wanted her to continually question why she’d give this up, when she could have him this way every morning. Every night.
But that wasn’t an entirely true sentiment.
He had his work as well.
And as much as hers was designed to take her all over the world, wherever there was a need for her, so, too, was his.
That alone proved they were destined to be no more than two ships passing in the night. No matter how much in love they were.
As his tempo inside her increased and her hips lifted to take him deeper and her hands on his ass helped to keep him sealed to her, so as much of their bodies as possible were melded together, Nikki blocked everything from her mind, except for the sound of their jagged breaths and the weight of him on top of her and the straining of her inner thighs as they squeezed his outer ones and the insistent massaging of that spot within her that propelled her into that perfect abyss as the sensations swelled… Then crested. Then erupted.
She cried his name as she came.
Moments later, he thrust once more and murmured, “Oh, fuck… Nik. Oh, God…”
She heard the emotion in his voice. The sheer shredding of him as his cock surged inside her. As his body convulsed. As he lost it completely… For her.
Tears seeped from the corners of her closed eyes.
Nikki clung to him. For endless moments.
Neither one of them were in a hurry to relinquish their hold on the other.
Nikki truly had no idea how long they remained wrapped around each other. She only knew that he’d inevitably claimed all of her.
Her.
The woman who didn’t believe in inevitable.
Eventually, he unraveled from her and she felt the instant void. The lonesomeness. The chill.
He went into the bathroom to shower.
She stared after him.
Nikki knew better than to join Damen. They’d only end up making love again. And again.
So she waited until he strode from the en suite to his adjoining dressing room, wearing nothing but a towel, slung low around his hips.
She groaned.
Christ, he was just too scorching-hot for words.
Somehow, she found the willpower to not follow him and snatch that towel from him.
With a shake of her head, she mumbled, “Stay the course.”
She tossed off the covers and went to shower and change, herself.
When she emerged, fully clothed and suitcase rolling along behind her, she drew up short just inside the master suite.
And stared at the bed.
Where her laptop sat.
She knew it was hers, immediately. Not Damen’s and not a replacement.
But hers.
She recognized the slight dent in the right corner from when she’d dropped it in Mexico City, upon that first explosion. There were also scrapes on the lid from her other excursions—and she’d kept telling herself she needed a protective, waterproof cover for it, but never found the time to order one.
Leaving her suitcase where she’d been standing, Nikki forced her feet to move. She crossed to the bed and sat on the edge, her gaze still fixated on the computer.
Her fingers grazed the metal top and tears stung her eyes.
She had no idea what sort of condition it was in—just that it was physically still intact. It had not self-destructed upon the extraction of the terrorists’ data.
That, however, did not mean the hard drive remained operable.
Her breath caught in her throat.
She innately knew that Damen didn’t know the fate of her photos, letters and files, either.
She heard him come from his dressing room. In her peripheral vision, she saw him prop a shoulder against the wall and slip his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. Not invading her space or distracting her.
For all the insistency she’d made to get this laptop back in her own hands, now that it was sitting right in front of her… She was too terrified to open the lid. Power it on. Learn its true fate.
Nikki’s eyes squeezed shut for a moment.
She focused on breathing.
But that was basically futile.
This was certainly a do-or-die moment for her. And just like all the other times she was faced with making split-second decisions, she had to go with her gut instincts.
Her eyelids drifted open and she flipped up the lid. She booted the machine.
She held her breath.
The dark screen tormented her.
She heard Damen suck in a sharp slice of air.
He’d been hoping for the best, too. And it probably broke his heart to know hers was shattering.
That made her pain even more excruciating.
She was just about to slam the lid shut when…
There was a flicker of light.
In the center of the screen.
Nikki’s pulse jumped.
49
Suddenly… There it was—the photo.
The photo.
The one of Nikki and Conner, which Kate had snapped at that precise and precious moment Nikki had told her husband she was pregnant.
The picture filled the screen. Their bright smiles filled the screen.
Tears instantly crested Nikki’s eyes and streamed down her suddenly flushed cheeks, so that she actually had to close the lid of the laptop. Immediately.
She pressed the tips of two trembling fingers above her upper lip. Not only to hide the quivering of her mouth, but also to alleviate some of the burning sensation in her nose. Though there was nothing she could do about the searing tears in her eyes.
Damen breathed an audible sigh of relief from across the suite. And returned to his dressing room. Giving her privacy to process this one incredibly crucial moment.
Everything she’d thought she’d recently lost had been regained.
With the exception of one thing.
She tore her gaze from the computer and stared at the very spot Damen had just vacated.
But she couldn’t alter her destiny at this point.
She grabbed the laptop, slipped it into her bag… And
left the suite.
Nikki knew he wouldn’t beg her to stay.
Chances were very good he’d told Mads not to make the plea again, either, because Nikki was able to slip out on Christmas morning. With no interruption.
She had a car waiting for her.
She told the driver to take her to Dulles.
She sat perfectly still and straight in her seat as they pulled from under the porte-cochere. She didn’t look back as they approached the massive gates at the front of the estate.
In fact, she kept that mental blockage in place all the way to the airport. Where she met up with Fiora Garcia.
They shook hands.
Nikki said, “I apologize for the short notice regarding my trip. But—”
“You knew I’d be available.” Fiora gave an amiable smirk. “I’m not one to pass up a new job opportunity when I’m clearly losing mine, but also… I’m intrigued by what you’re doing. Additionally, I think it’s wise of you to want a bodyguard, Nikki.”
“I suspect Damen has a person or two following me,” she quietly mused. She knew him that well.
“He does. However,” Fiora assured her, “having me with you, conspicuously, is going to serve you much better—give you more peace of mind. They’re busy trying to blend into the background. I’m quite obviously glued to your side.”
“For which I’m eternally grateful. And I fully concur with your strategy. I trust you, Fiora. With decisions such as this…. And with my life.”
“I’m glad to hear that. So… We’re off to Switzerland.”
They headed to security and then the gate. Fiora’s credentials were still intact, since she hadn’t actually been suspended or released, given it was the holiday and no one was currently reviewing her case, making it a bit easier for her to maneuver.
Since they had a bit of time before the plane boarded, they settled into comfortable captain’s chairs with a round table in the first-class lounge and Nikki pulled out her laptop. She got onto the wifi and uploaded all of her client files and her personal folders to the cloud environment she subscribed to, while Fiora studied up on Switzerland.
Eventually, their flight was announced and they collected their belongings.