Dad had been chatting away over top of Claire and Gabriel, but Claire hadn’t been able to hold Gabriel’s attention entirely. I saw Ray and Miss A (even though I knew who she was, she didn’t much look like Marcia on video) going at it like a Kung Fu movie. Just like a Kung Fu movie, where Miss A started out throwing all the attacks at first with Ray in retreat, until slowly it turned exactly the other way. Every time she’d swing or kick he’d lunge past it, and all she could do was fall back.
Then Ifrit twisted his hands around and a cylinder of flame roared up around the girl in the armor. Me. Ifrit and Gabriel argued about the situation casually.
“Ifrit’s not trying very hard, is he? I think Miss A’s trying to kill the boy she’s fighting,” I suggested. I’d been there, so I had some idea of how Ifrit was fouling up. Watching it had me twisting The Machine around in my hands until it crawled around them with hyperactive energy.
“That’s it exactly. He assumes he’s caught her. Miss A’s lost her temper and Ifrit is overconfident and not giving this his all. Watch what happens to both of them.” Man, Dad sounded calm and professional.
I watched myself step out of the flames and nail Ifrit’s foot to the floor with my static gloves. I’d felt like a cow in the exchange that followed, but from here it was obviously Ifrit who couldn’t dodge, couldn’t do anything but get smacked in the back of the head as Reviled waltzed past. Miss A was way too mad to avoid getting blasted.
All that was left was a lot of banter. Dad talked over it. “A lot of our tools and powers in superheroing are tricks, Penny. Those gloves glued Ifrit’s foot to the ground. Ifrit’s fire cage is hard to get out of. Half of martial arts is supplying someone small like Miss A with trick moves that put her opponent at a disadvantage. If you figure a way around those tricks, they become liabilities. When it’s you out there one day, pay more attention to your defenses than your weapons, so you’ll have a chance to escape anything. Then when you have the advantage, press it. Don’t assume you’re going to win until your opponent is immobilized, and even then watch him.”
My Dad was giving me supervillain advice and didn’t know it. Great. The Machine squirmed as I gripped it guiltily, staring at him. The video ended, and Dad peered behind the monitor, then into the cord-strewn chaos behind his desk.
“Did you drop something?” I asked automatically.
“An iridium electrode. Not easy to replace, even for me,” Dad answered.
It gave me something to talk about other than my career as a supervillain, so I began to circle Dad’s lab, peeking around the edges of his fabricating machines, eying the bits of wire, forceps, and screws cluttering any flat surface. Man, I wanted his 3D printer, but I forced myself to peek through the clipboards and magazines stacked on top of it, letting The Machine scurry up my arm with its little metal claws.
“Sounds exotic. What do you do with it?” I asked. After all, my power wasn’t telling me anything.
He spun his chair around and thumped the new glass tank. “You heard me talk about knowing the other guy’s tricks? I’ve been asked to analyze an exotic chemical sample from a supervillain attack. It’s highly caustic and behaves so strangely when it should be inert that it looks alive.”
Even under the circumstances I had to flash a grin. “Sounds like magic.”
Pavlov’s dogs could not have been more faithful. “Because people call it magic is exactly why I need to identify this formula and chart out its properties. Dump an easy label on it and you fool yourself into thinking it’s all powerful.”
Well, the topic was on magic, and this was my Dad, not my Mom. Today had left me with a lot of questions. Maybe I could get away with one or two. “Dad, what do you know about Lucyfar?”
“Why would you ask that?” he shot back immediately. I grabbed The Machine in both hands again, but he looked puzzled, not suspicious.
I had to remind myself that I could risk a sufficiently white lie here. “I met her at Claire’s Mom’s place today. Then we went downtown, and I saw her at the library subway station fighting that Reviled kid. I’m not sure they were really fighting. She’s kinda weird.”
Dad sat up straight in his chair, hand resting on his desk, and sighed loudly. A smile spread across his face. “Thank you, Pumpkin. That’s the last little doubt removed. You were right next to them, and The Inscrutable Machine didn’t care. They’re just goofing around. You’re not on their radar, and never will be.”
“And Lucyfar?” I pressed.
“She says she really is Lucifer, the demon princess, and she might be crazy enough to believe it. I think she’s just playing around, drunk on her own unfortunately considerable power. She’s playing a game with the rest of the community, stopping a robbery one day so she can rob the same place the next. We put up with it because she doesn’t kill civilians and we’d like her to feel like if she gives up villainy for good, we’ll accept her. In practice, that means we only fight her when we have reason to think she’s actually committing a crime,” he related.
“She seemed really friendly, but she couldn’t hold to the same topic for thirty seconds,” I hedged.
“Not someone I’d have wanted to introduce you to at your age, but it’s better you learn now how weird the community can be.” Dad sounded entirely noncommittal, but he’d also been sucked into another fruitless search of the wires behind his desk.
I peeked into the cracks between the tank and the machinery surrounding it. Come on, power. What is this stuff? You pounced on magic science goo like a wolf on a rabbit. Why can’t I turn you on and off when I want? I’d almost gotten some sense I could take back to the regular world from that meeting with Cy.
My power ignored me. I used The Machine’s teeth to pry a crack wider to peer into it. I knew that was useless, but, barring an iridium detector, we’d have to keep checking places we swore we’d already looked.
“Hey, Dad, do you have a really pure crystal lying around?” I asked as curiosity hit me.
He slid over to a cabinet of little drawers, and opened one up. “How about an industrial diamond?” I snatched it out of his hand immediately. Awesome. Well, a start. I needed… what did I need? I didn’t need to understand, just know what to ask for.
“Sheet aluminum?” I spat out before I knew what the word would be.
“How big?” he asked back, lifting a strip out of another drawer.
“That will do.” I knew it would do. He dropped it into my hand, and I made The Machine crimp the aluminum into a band around the diamond.
“Uninsulated copper wire? Silver? Gold?” I asked. Each time he deposited them into my hand. This was easy. I wouldn’t need any of his fancy machines. I had my own Machine, fancier than any of them. This was just a little addition, and, once I bent the wires right, I pried open The Machine’s mouth and stuffed the diamond down its throat. The wires clicked into place.
That would do it. I dropped The Machine onto the floor, and, after the metallic bang when it hit, I instructed, “Find the iridium.”
How well would this work? The Machine scuttled on its hundred little bug legs toward Dad’s desk, then veered off in an arc and crawled underneath the frame holding up the tank. Three seconds later, it crawled out holding a gleaming blob in its mandibles. I lowered an arm, and as The Machine crawled back up into its proper place on my wrist I extracted the electrode and held it up for Dad. For a little tiny thing, the electrode had a weight I could feel.
I looked up into Dad’s face for the first time as he took the electrode from me. He looked like he’d just swallowed the sun, like he could cry from joy and pride.
“Penny, do you know what you just did?” he asked, his voice soft and hoarse.
I was pretty sure, yes. I’d just shown off my supervillain powers to the person who was most likely to recognize them.
Except he hadn’t. “Your super power just sparked again. It hasn’t even been two weeks, and you had another episode. May I see?” He held out his hands for The Machine. It had just curled
up around my wrist again, but it let go with a single twist. It still had some juice left from when I’d woken it up a few minutes ago.
I plumped it in Dad’s hands, and he lifted The Machine up and peered into its mouth at the sensor apparatus. “Your power is coming faster than I ever dreamed, and it’s powerful. I can guess at how your chemical detector works, but the design is so simple that’s all I can do. You might be able to turn your power on at will by summer and have a fully emerged super power by the time you enter high school.”
“Really?” I asked, feeling weirdly helpless.
“Since your second invention is an upgrade for your first, there’s a good chance all of your inventions will center around this device. If that turns out to be true, don’t fight it. You’ll learn so much and this bracelet will become so powerful, you’ll have all you need to be a fantastic superhero. Mech’s power isn’t half this impressive, but he kept improving his armor until he became a powerhouse and improved his skills as he did.” Dad was gushing. My Dad had the same wide-eyed stare Claire gave Gabriel.
“You should start thinking about a superhero name with the idea that your powers will center around this invention. It’s a pity The Inscrutable Machine is taken,” he went on, dumping a bucket of ice water down my spine. This was a bad, bad direction for the conversation to go. What could I say?
And then he gave me a sober stare, and, as the cold gnawed toward my heart, he told me, “The public is even starting to call the tech based girl on their team Bad Penny. I’m sorry, Pumpkin. There’s no way to change their mind once these things get started. Even if she rejects the name, it’s likely to stick. I know that the confusion is going to be annoying and embarrassing for you.” He reached out, laying The Machine back in my hands and pulling me over for a tight hug as he went on in a wry, sympathetic tone. “Ask your mother about Dr. Brain and The Brain Auk sometime. If I try to tell that story, I’ll beat my head against the wall.” He ended with a little chuckle. I echoed it, feeling suddenly weak and giddy.
I held back the urge to laugh hysterically. HA! The epiphany rolled over me, easing every tension, making me feel looser, stronger than I had in weeks. I wasn’t going to get caught. Not just now… period. The evidence was already all in front of them. Unless I did something flat-out stupid, my parents were never, ever going to catch on. I had all the time in the world to deal with my supervillain reputation however I wanted. I really wanted to laugh. I also wanted to fall over.
“The Brain Auk does sound like a mixup waiting to happen,” I conceded, letting my grin at least peek out.
Dad’s mouth twisted in momentary disgust, and he changed the subject. “Why don’t I call your Mom and we can go out to dinner to celebrate your power flashing again? She’s only getting groceries.”
“I’d pass out in my pizza plate. I’ve been out all day, and I just want to heat some of the leftover fish and take a nap.” I refused as gently as I could. I love going out to eat, but this had been the longest day I could remember and it was only early evening.
Dad gave my hair an affectionate rub, making a mess out of everything not pulled back into my braids. “Your power just activated for the second time. Even a purely mental power can take a lot out of you. Sleep well, Princess. Your Mom and I may be out when you wake up, assuming you don’t sleep through the night. When she hears you were ten feet from The Inscrutable Machine and they didn’t give you a second glance, she’ll feel like celebrating just for that.”
I did sleep through the night, so if they went out I wouldn’t know.
Technically, my phone going off woke me the next morning. I went through the process of groping for it and turning it on in a drowsing blur, so the first thing I actually remembered was Claire squeaking into my ear. “We’re going to get together today, right?”
I fell back onto my pillow and stared at the sunlight through my window. I glanced at the phone’s screen. Eleven a.m. I guess I should be grateful she let me sleep that long. Dad might have had a point about my power exhausting me. I’d slept more than twelve hours!
“Sure,” I mumbled groggily, “but no supervillainy, or superheroing either.”
“Aww,” Claire protested, but her power didn’t work over the phone, and I didn’t let her go ahead with it.
“One of us has a puny human body, remember?” Hopefully my croaking voice would make the point.
Well, it got a giggle. “Yeah, I have the proportionate strength of a girl my age who exercises,” she quipped back. I started to grin too, as her good humor pushed back the fog of sleep.
“I need to take the day off. We’re all strictly secret identity today, okay?”
Claire’s light and philosophical tone immediately told me I’d won. “I’ll have to tell Ray to stop hanging from a tree branch in my back yard, but we outvote him together. When do you want to get together?”
“Give me time to get cleaned up, dressed, and eat,” I suggested, my voice growling again as I registered that I was lying in bed and achy. Yesterday had been full of crazy things.
One of those crazy things was a supervillain paying me a thousand dollars. I groped off the edge of my bed for the pants I wore yesterday. A fat bundle of bills remained in the pocket.
Now I really grinned hard. “Actually, take your time, but come on over. I won’t need to eat. I’m going to buy us all lunch on Melrose instead!”
I beat them to my front door because I let my dad’s automatic braiding machine take care of my hair. I wondered if my super power would tell me if this version had any bugs, but I wouldn’t get that question answered today. The machine worked just fine, and my five hundred pounds of hair got tied in ribbons and out of my way for the day.
A shout of “Mom, can you take us down to Melrose?” before I hopped into the shower spurred her to get ready. When the doorbell rang, I yanked the kitchen door open. We all piled into the car in a chorus of, “Thank you, Mrs. Akk!”
Melrose isn’t far, although you have to drive down a bit to get to the fun shopping section. It wasn’t long before Mom asked, “Are you going to need some money, Penny?”
Not hardly. I had a thousand dollars in my pocket. I answered a bit more tactfully, “I just emptied the Pumpkin jar last week. I’ve still got plenty.”
That answer did not seem to thrill. Not that she was obvious, but the lack of an instant answer told me I’d messed up.
Ray caught it, too. “Mrs Akk, did Penny tell you we got to see Lucyfar dueling the kid from The Incredible Machine downtown, yesterday? Well, I did. It ended just when Penny and Claire showed up.” Criminy, Ray, that had to be the stupidest attempt to change the subject… or, well, maybe it wasn’t.
“I caught it all. It didn’t take very long,” I insisted.
“It’s the first time I’ve seen a supervillain battle in person. It was amazing! Lucyfar threw knives everywhere, and Reviled bounced around like a spastic squirrel. Then they walked off together like it didn’t happen. Are villains often that casual about trying to kill each other?” Ray asked. He didn’t have to fake enthusiasm for the subject.
“Frequently.”
One word. She was still troubled. I reached over and put a hand on her shoulder and promised, “Mom, we’ll be fine. How many supervillains attack Melrose on a busy Sunday?”
“Red Dawn, Chimera, and Logo three times. That’s if you don’t count Bullet Bob, Weasel Fingers, or Jim,” Mom listed without a pause.
“Wasn’t Bullet Bob the guy with all the guns but terrible aim?” Ray asked, drawling with glee over the thought.
It got a smile from Mom, too. “That’s why he doesn’t count.”
“We’re here! Let us out right here!” Claire squealed, and Mom pulled the car up into a no parking spot long enough for us to pile out.
“Have fun, kids. Give me a call when you want to be picked up,” Mom offered as she pulled the door shut. Her moodiness had vanished. Score one for Ray.
We filed into the burger place with the little stone wall around t
heir courtyard, the one I don’t know the name of because it doesn’t have a sign. Leaning closer to Ray and Claire, I offered, “I brought the money Cybermancer gave me, so order whatever you want. I’m paying.”
They did, and we sat down at a stone table with trays heaped with food and bowls of ice cream. Then we said nothing at all, because we were too busy stuffing our faces.
There did come a moment when I wasn’t sure I could eat anymore. I pushed my tray away, rubbed my mouth with a napkin, and complained in a discreet hush, “All this cash is burning a hole in my pocket.” It wasn’t entirely a metaphor. I could feel the lump of money, an intrusive presence hard to ignore in my pocket, constantly reminding me that it was there and should be spent on something.
Ray swallowed a last bite of fried chicken strip and agreed, “I spent the bubblegum money immediately. Partly because I had enough money to buy whatever I wanted, and partly because I just wanted to look good for once in my life.”
Scarecrow thin, but immaculate in black long sleeved shirt and slacks, with his big black hat and that grin just a little too wide to be sane… he did. He looked good. “Immaculate” might have been the wrong word. The fabric had a few rumples, but that didn’t matter. He still looked sleek.
“You succeeded,” Claire promised him while I was still thinking it. I should have said it first. That gnawed at me, and I wanted to believe the smiles they were giving each other were just friendly, but it wasn’t easy.
“It looks like we’re all done. Where do you two want to go first?” I asked, piling my cup and plasticware onto my tray.
The answer came as inevitably as the tides: “Lost World!”
Two blocks down sat the comic book store, or at least the only comic book store I knew of on Melrose. My friends dragged me through the door physically by my wrists as I complained, “I’m not into this stuff!” Theatric, and only mostly true. They ignored it. Having dragged me over the threshold, they left me waiting on the rubber mat and scattered.
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