by Watt Key
“Behind the line,” the guard said.
I toed the red tape in the middle of the room and heard the guard shut the door behind me. I waited while Mr. Fraley pulled his finger down the spines of the books. There were no chairs in the room except the one behind his desk. The rest of the office was neat and clean, with little sunlight coming through gaps in the mostly closed blinds.
Finally he seemed to find the book he was looking for and pulled it out and walked to his desk with it. He sat and studied the cover. I saw my jacket from Pinson on his desk, the folder containing everything about me since I’d been in juve.
“Have you ever heard of William Golding?” he asked.
“Nossir.”
He set the book on the desk, sat back in his chair, and looked at me for the first time. “Well, you should have. He wrote Lord of the Flies. It’s required reading in most schools.”
I didn’t answer him.
“That’s the core of the problem you’ve gotten yourself into, young man. You see, they tell me to educate the boys. To reform them. But this is just political talk to our fine citizens. Feel-good talk, if you will. In reality this place is a sort of human landfill that you hide on the outskirts of town. It’s nothing more than a kennel for dogs that have no hope of being claimed. This may sound harsh, but it is simply a reality that you must learn to face. The sooner, the better.”
He studied me like I would have something to say. But I didn’t. For years I’d heard about this place from the boys at Pinson. I was prepared and I stood there ready to soak it up and deal with it.
“That is not to say you cannot adjust,” he continued. “We have all kinds of dogs here. We have mutts and bulldogs and golden retrievers. But the reformation, the education—simply feel-good talk. What do you teach to a classroom of mutts and golden retrievers?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you try to teach them how to fetch and return a stick, the mutt will learn nothing. If you simply teach them how to come when called, the retriever will learn nothing he does not already know. And there are few teachers and only so much time. So you know what they learn?”
I shook my head.
“The dogs learn nothing. There is nothing we can do.”
I didn’t say anything.
“A young boy’s mind wants to learn whether he desires it to or not. And since he cannot learn from us, he will learn from the other dogs. He will become something between the retriever and the bulldog. He will become a mutt. Do you plan to become a mutt?”
“I plan to stay out of trouble.”
“From what I’ve seen of your record at Pinson, I don’t think it is possible for you to learn new tricks.”
“You just tell me the rules. I’ll do whatever I need to do.”
He studied me for a moment, then reached for a sheet of paper on his desk. “Yes, yes,” he said. “So you will.” He held up the document and set it down again. “This is a progress report,” he said. “About to go into your jacket. You know what the first question is?”
I shook my head.
“ ‘Has the resident instigated any violent activity?’ ”
“I don’t wanna get in any fights,” I said.
“Another problem. Not only will you not learn anything here, you will be asked to choose your friends. Choosing friends in here makes instant enemies. Refusing their friendship makes instant enemies. How will you deal with these enemies?”
“I won’t.”
“What will you do about the things the dogs teach you?”
“I won’t listen.”
Mr. Fraley shook his head doubtfully. “Very well, Henry Mitchell.” He made a mark on the sheet and placed it in my jacket. “You may have visitors on Saturday between eight and two and Thursday between three and six. Canteen is every Monday morning if you want to buy anything. Money must be received by noon on Friday so that it can be posted to your deposit account. Understand?”
“Yessir.”
“Then consider yourself oriented. You’re dismissed,” he said, waving me out with his hand.
3
After the meeting with Mr. Fraley I was escorted back to my bunk and started going through the supplies kept in my locker. An extra jumpsuit, socks and underwear, a stationery kit, toothbrush. The floorwalker stood watch at the door.
It wasn’t long before another guard came in and said something to the floorwalker. The floorwalker came down the rows of beds and told me I had a visitor.
I met my lawyer, Mr. Wellington, in the visitors’ room. We were the only ones there. Mr. Wellington was retired for the most part and I was his only client since he’d gotten a friend of mine out of trouble. He didn’t even wear a suit, but dressed in blue jeans and boots. He set his briefcase on the table and sat across from me. It was good to see him.
“It’s not as bad as you thought, is it, Hal?”
“I don’t know yet. I just got here.”
“Well, you do the best you can,” he said.
“How long?”
“I’m still working that out with the court.”
“How’s Daddy doin’?”
“Not very well. But it’s been two days since he’s had a drink. There’s a lot to be said for that.”
“He goin’ to those AA meetin’s?”
Mr. Wellington nodded. “He’s doing everything he can. Now we just need to make sure you keep it steady in here.”
“I’m gonna do whatever I gotta do.”
“Your father’s held a job for close to three years now and that’s what the court likes to see. If he stays sober and you don’t get into any trouble while you’re here, I might be able to get you home again.”
“Okay.”
“I just wanted to stop by and let you know that things were in motion. Remind you that your daddy and I are doing what we can. You’re not alone in all this.”
“I know.”
He reached into his top shirt pocket, pulled out a piece of paper, and handed it to me. “Your daddy thought you might want this,” he said.
I looked at the paper. It had my girlfriend, Carla’s, address on it. How did he know I’d forgotten to get it from her? I felt my face get a little warm as I tucked it away. I stood and shook his hand. “Thanks for helpin’ me and Daddy.”
“You can thank me when you walk out that front gate.”
I nodded.
“Stay out of trouble, Hal. That’s all you’ve got to do.”
It was time for the boys to come inside and go to the rec room. I went back to my bunk and lay down. The guard didn’t say anything, so I figured it was allowed. I didn’t want to be around the others unless I had to. That was just asking for trouble. I’d keep to myself as much as possible. I didn’t care what anybody thought about me. I didn’t need friends. I didn’t want them.
That evening I stood in the supper line holding my tray. The boy in front of me had a cross-shaped scar on the back of his neck. I looked over the mess room. The boys fanned out to the right or left and filled up the outside tables. Leroy and the big kid were back in the middle at their same spots.
Somebody bumped me from behind. I turned and faced Preston.
“Watch out,” he said.
At first I thought he was joking. “What’s up, Preston?”
“Not the big man anymore, are you, Hal?”
Then I knew he wasn’t joking. “What’s got you all bowed up?” I said.
“I don’t need to bow up to you.”
I smirked and turned around and faced ahead.
“Don’t turn around when I’m talkin’ to you,” he said over my shoulder.
I didn’t answer him. He knocked me hard in the back and my tray went clattering to the floor. I felt my temper flare, but I set my jaw against it. I bent down and began picking everything up.
“You better get some friends quick,” he said.
I stood with my tray and stepped up to the food counter.
“I’m gonna come talk to you later,” he said.
The serving woman put a plate of food on my tray and I grabbed a cup of ice water. I took my supper and turned and walked toward the middle tables. Leroy was watching me. The big kid ate and stared at his food. I walked past them both and sat alone at the end. I kept my eyes to myself and began eating.
After a few minutes Leroy got up and brought his tray to sit across from me. I didn’t look at him.
“Looks like the Ministers are comin’ after you,” he said.
I didn’t answer him.
“That’s them behind me with the crosses on the back of their necks. The Hounds are on the other side. They have the scar around their wrists. They use a red-hot nail.”
“I told you I don’t get into that.”
Leroy studied me for a moment, then took a bite of food.
I motioned with my chin toward the big kid. “What about him?”
Leroy swallowed. “They call him Caboose. They say he’s on his own.”
“Well, maybe I’ll hang out with Caboose.”
“He won’t talk to you.”
“That’s even better,” I said.
“What’s your name?”
“Hal.”
“They won’t leave you alone until you pick a side, Hal.”
“Look,” I said, “I don’t want any friends in here. I don’t wanna owe nobody nothin’. I wanna do my time quiet and short. Why don’t you go back where you came from and let me eat my food.”
Leroy looked hurt. He took his tray and moved away.
4
The Hounds stayed at one end of the bunk room and the Ministers at the other. In the middle it was just Leroy and me with Caboose across the aisle. I lay on my top bunk that evening, listening to the boys talking. The floorwalker stood silently at the door, his eyes scanning the room.
I pulled out my stationery and began writing to Carla. She’d only been my girlfriend a little over a week.
I’d met her at the Laundromat back home, and then she went on a date with me to the dirt track races one night. We spent some afternoons hanging out after that. I told her about my problems and where I was going and she had seemed to understand in a way that stayed with me. But then I had to go before I got to the point where I could tell her I liked her. Which I figured was the best thing for both of us. Now I wasn’t so sure.
Dear Carla,
I’m at my new school now. My lawyer came by and told me he is going to try and get me out as soon as he can. He doesn’t know how long it will take. If my daddy keeps his job and does not drink and I do not get in any trouble it might all work out. I am just going to lay low in here. I have seen a few boys from my old school that I know. I hope you don’t find another boyfriend before I get out. I will write again later.
There were lots of things I could have told her about being in lockup. It was a place I was sure she couldn’t imagine. I called it “school” just to try and make it sound better than it was. And I didn’t want her knowing any more about it than she did. I hoped maybe there’d come a time when everybody would forget it ever happened to me. A time when I was just a normal person with a life outside the fence.
I read it again and made sure my spelling wasn’t too bad. Then I thought about how to sign it. I figured now wasn’t the time to hold back on letting her know I liked her. I might as well overdo it.
Love,
Hal
I folded the letter and stuck it into one of the envelopes they gave us. I licked it and sealed it quick before I could change my mind. Just as I reached into my pocket for the address, a hand came out and snatched the envelope away. Preston leaned against the bunk and studied it.
“Who you writin’ to?” he said.
The floorwalker didn’t seem to notice us. I stared at my letter in his hand.
“Who’s your girlfriend, Hal?”
I looked away and didn’t say anything. I heard him opening the letter. Then I saw the envelope flutter by.
“ ‘Dear Carla,’ ” he said. “Caaarla?”
“That’s right.”
“Ain’t that sweet . . .” He continued reading. “ ‘I’m at my new school now.’ ”
“You must have some big boys watchin’ your back, Preston.”
“I’ve earned respect, Hal. Somethin’ you don’t have here.”
“I ain’t lookin’ for trouble with you, Preston. Nobody else either.”
He was quiet for a moment. Then I heard the paper tearing. He set the pieces in front of me. “Jack says you’re gonna be with us.”
“I don’t even know Jack.”
“You will.”
“Yeah? You tell him I’m fine like I am. I won’t get in anybody’s way.”
“Leroy’s gonna go Ministers,” he said.
“Leroy can do what he wants. I don’t run with Leroy.”
“You go Hounds and you’ll get your ass kicked.”
I looked away and didn’t answer him. I saw the floorwalker coming toward us. Preston backed off. “You don’t wanna get on the wrong side of Jack.”
“Number one twenty-six!” the floorwalker boomed. “Get back to your area.”
Preston turned and walked off. I got the torn letter and pieced it back together. Then I got another sheet of paper and began copying it.
Just before lights-out an awful smell came drifting over me. If it were possible, I would have thought it was sun-ripened roadkill. It was so thick and pungent that I felt like it had settled on my skin. I looked around, but no one else seemed to notice.
“Lights out!” the floorwalker yelled.
I put the letter away and got under my blanket just before he flipped the switch. Then I lay there in the dark, careful not to breathe through my nose, and listened to the shifting and mumbling of the boys.
It wasn’t long before someone came crawling beneath the bunks and stood up near me. “Paco said for me to tell you there’s a spot open with the Hounds if you want it,” he whispered. “If you go Ministers, he can’t help you.”
“Who’s Paco?”
“He’s the leader of the Hounds. The big Mexican guy with the slick head.”
“Tell Paco I said thanks. Tell him I haven’t made up my mind yet.”
“You go Hounds and you don’t have anything to worry about. We’re the oldest and the best.”
“Tell him I’ll think about it.”
That night I heard a lonely wail echoing through the hall behind me. It was coming from somewhere at the back of the building. Somewhere near the area with the black doors. I turned and looked down at Leroy, but it was too dark to see his face. No one moved or said anything about it, like it was a noise they were used to hearing. The wailing went on for what seemed like a half hour while I lay in the dark with my eyes open and a sick feeling in my gut. With a sound like that, I realized things at Hellenweiler were probably going to get a lot worse than I’d imagined.
5
Monday morning I ate slowly and studied the Hound table. I picked Paco out of the group. He was not the tallest of the boys, but he was built like a bull. His Mexican face was pocked and dented like rough cheese. While the rest of his gang talked and joked, he remained expressionless and alert, eating slowly and cocking his eyes about the room.
After breakfast I attended class in the separate building across the yard. Our teacher was young and soft-spoken. He kept his back to us and scribbled on the blackboard while the boys joked and passed notes. I imagined Mr. Fraley had given the same talk to our instructor about the uselessness of teaching the dogs.
I carried my lunch tray past Caboose and sat across from Leroy. He looked surprised. He set his fork down and watched me.
“Thought you’d be at the Ministers’ table,” I said.
“How’d you know?”
“Preston told me.”
“Yeah, well, they don’t have initiation until Friday.”
“What do you have to do?”
“Preston won’t tell me,” he replied. “Said it would
be a surprise.”
“I’d hate to know how that hot nail feels against your skin.”
Leroy rubbed the back of his neck.
“Which one’s Jack?” I asked.
“He’s the skinny one with the black spiked hair. Next to Preston.”
I looked over Leroy’s shoulder and saw the boy he was talking about. I guessed he was about sixteen. He wasn’t even close to being the biggest guy at the table, but I recognized the look in his eyes right away. There’d been a kid at Pinson with the same look. A crazy, fearless look. He had eyes that darted about constantly and you never knew when he’d lose his temper on you. After he bit a cook in the leg the guards had to haul the boy at Pinson off in a strait-jacket. He never came back.
“What makes you wanna go Minister?” I asked Leroy.
“They seem to want me the most.”
“That oughta tell you somethin’.”
“Blacks and Mexicans don’t usually get along real well.”
“There’s blacks on both sides of this room.”
“Preston says now that Jack’s back, Paco’s bunch is scared.”
“Preston’s an idiot too.”
“Well, that’s what he says.”
I took a bite of my food and didn’t answer him.
“They say Jack’s got a rich daddy who has a bunch of lawyers that get him out. This is his third time to come back.”
“What you gonna do when he leaves again?”
Leroy stared at me. “I don’t know. I just feel like I’ll be safer with them.”
I looked over at Caboose. He was chewing and staring at his plate. “Do what you gotta do,” I said.
We got out of our afternoon classes at two o’clock and all of the boys filed through the gate into the recess yard. It was two treeless acres of packed red clay surrounded by a ten-foot fence. It smelled of sweat and hot tar from the roof. Beyond was the plowed field and then a line of trees.
I saw Caboose walk to the far corner and back against the fence and stare at his shoes. There were basketball goals at each end of the yard. Paco and his boys gathered at one and Jack and his crew at the other. Before long there was a game going at each location.