by L. E. Waters
“Take Sibylle to the infirmary, please.”
Frieda looks at the equally surprised Sibylle. “Does she have an appointment?”
“No, but she was complaining of a fever yesterday.” She barks, “Sibylle, do you still feel ill?”
Even Sibylle is unsure to answer, suspecting a trick.
“Well, do you?”
“I…I always do.”
Frieda says, “You want me to take her now?”
“You want to delay treatment to ill patients?” Bathilda’s steel eyes practically glow with anger.
“Of course not.” Frieda looks afraid too. “But you don’t usually take Sibylle to the doctors, given her condition.”
“I don’t need you telling me what I do or don’t do. Take Sibylle now!”
The ‘now’ echoes down the stairway, drawing the attention of some of the lower sentries.
“Sibylle, please follow me.” Sibylle looks happy to escape Bathilda’s rage. It feels colder as soon as Frieda’s protection is gone. Bathilda takes a deep breath and hisses, “It’s bath time.”
Normally that isn’t a set of words that would strike fear in anyone older than ten years old, but it triggers an immediate response in the patients.
“No!” Minna cries. “I don’t want a bath.”
Ursel tries to evade it by saying, “We don’t need a bath yet, we just had one two weeks ago.”
“I keep myself clean.” Juliane pulls her dress tight around her.
Elfi screams, “That is how they try to kill us!”
Verena glares at me, and Gitta whispers, “This is how she’ll get you back.”
Bathilda charges ahead and snaps for two other nurses to help her in the bathroom. They line us up against the wall and Bathilda slinks over to me.
“Annelie, since you’re new here, you get to go last.”
I thought she would want me to go first, but now I worry why she would choose me to go last. Minna’s grabbed first, and her screams don’t stop until she cowers back out, wrapped in a grungy, much too small towel. One of the nurses directs her back to her room to get dressed as she pulls Odelia from the line. Odelia doesn’t scream, only sobs mournfully. Verena fights as best as she can with curses and water splashing, but she’s quieted after a few painful slaps are heard. She walks out naked with three red handprints throbbing on her back and backside. Ursel screams about vampires and Elfi yells that she’s killing her, but Juliane baulks as they pull her into the bathroom.
“The water is filthy! I won’t go in!” She holds the doorframe, but Bathilda and another nurse release her hold and yank her in. Juliane reemerges, scrubbing every part of her with her towel. The nurse tries to lead her into her room, but she yanks away to scrub at any bit of contaminated skin.
Gitta whispers to me, “These baths always bring on an episode, one of the bad ones. I can feel it coming.” She can barely breathe. I feel so guilty that my actions have caused this. I should have been more careful.
The nurse pulls Gitta out of line. I’m the only one left. Everything sounds fine until great splashing begins.
“She’s having another one.” Bathilda calls out.
A nurse asks, “Shouldn’t we take her out of the tub?”
“No, she’s fine in the tub.”
“But the doctors have told us—”
“She’s fine,” Bathilda snaps.
Violent sloshing can be heard, along with an occasional bang. Everything quiets, and the two nurses come out with a dazed and frail-looking Gitta wrapped between them.
“Are you okay, Gitta?” I ask as she passes.
She gives no response. The nurses lead her off to her room.
Bathilda startles me. “I guess it’s just you and me.” The sneer on her lips holds great promise.
I walk into the room, and the tub is only half full with grey water, on which floats a thick ring of shed skin.
“Take off your clothes.” Bathilda crosses her arms.
“Aren’t you going to refill the tub?”
She scoffs. “Get your spoiled ass in this tub right now.”
I start to remove my dress, and she watches me with far too much enjoyment.
“You come here and in one day turn everything upside down.”
I unclasp my brassiere.
“It’s those perky little boobies, isn’t it?”
I cover them with my hands.
“Pull your drawers down.”
I step out of them and hold myself again. I take a few steps back as she comes near me. She lifts up my underwear and smells the crotch.
“What are you doing?” My lip curls.
“Checking to see what you’ve been doing to get Dr. Evert so concerned.” She drops them to the ground in a puddle. “Doesn’t mean you’re not crawling under his desk and gratifying him on your knees like the whore that you are.”
She slaps my bare bottom with a crack of the long-handled scrub brush. I don’t feel the pain until a few moments after. I drop my chest-holding to rub the sting away.
“And you don’t think that I’ll tell him what you’re doing to me, to all of us, right now?”
The smirk that spreads across her face makes my goose bumps worse.
“Poor Gitta can’t handle much more of this. If she’s given another bath, or deprived of sleep, or worse, given the wrong medication, well, she just might not survive it.” This must be how she controls everyone here. She knows she has won. “Now get in this tub.”
She lashes her scrub brush at my hands and I drop my breasts to step into the freezing, murky water. I lower myself into what I’m sure will foster a horrible infection somewhere later. She rubs the bar of soap on the brush and plunges it into the water.
“I’m capable of cleaning myself.” I put my hand out for the brush, but she grabs my hair and starts scrubbing the skin off my back.
I scream. This must be what made the other girls scream.
“Shut up or I won’t be so gentle.” A small chuckle escapes her lips.
I have to grit my teeth as she works her way from my back to my chest. She scratches the brush over a breast, and I scream as the nipple is assaulted. I try to protect them again with my hands.
“Get on your knees.”
“In the tub?”
She grabs my hair again and pulls me forward onto my knees. I wrestle with her, but she starts to pull my face into the water.
“Stop fighting me or I’ll plunge you in.”
I cease just as my nose hovers over the water. She plunges the scrub brush between my legs, the bristles scratching the most delicate parts of me.
I start to cry.
“You are a dirty, dirty girl. I know what you’ve been doing, and you better quit it.”
She holds her hand outside the brush head to deliver more force. Her fingernails scrape places that have never been touched by anyone else. I wonder if she cleans all the girls like this or has this treatment only been reserved for me.
“There. All clean.” She releases my hair. “Get out.”
I step out and don’t even bother protecting myself anymore. She throws a towel at me.
“You say a word of this to lover Evert and I can assure you I will find ways to make you and the other girls suffer.” She strokes the handle of the brush. “Next time, I’ll use this end.”
I grab up my clothes and wrap the coarse towel around me as every part of me burns.
Chapter 4
There’s a thick wool blanket folded up on top of my old suitcase once I make it safely back to my cell. I look around to see who might have left it, but the room is empty, of course. I’ve never been so happy to have anything as I am to have my things back. I open up the hard suitcase and I’m not surprised to see my perfumes and soaps missing, but at least my clothes are all there. The chill makes every part of me shake. I can’t get into my nightgown fast enough, and I dive under the cotton blanket and whip out the soft new blanket. I
thank Frieda in my prayers for offering such a kindness. I hear Bathilda lock my door and I’m glad that she doesn’t come in to make me go to lunch or supper. I lie in bed the rest of the day and stare out the window. Should I leave? I must belong here, though, with so many souls from my past, and they need my help more than ever. How can I leave them? Leave Gitta here at the mercy of Bathilda? No, I must figure out a way to change things here. I must stay.
I actually get a full night’s sleep, even after Bathilda’s torture, but feel the punishment all over again when I sit up on my swollen backside.
Bathilda unlocks my door at dawn and demands, “Up and out!”
She smiles as I pull off my nightgown and she sees her handiwork. I take a deep breath of the other dress I brought with me that still smells of Mother’s clothesline.
“Is Annelie up yet?” I hear Dr. Evert ask.
I throw the dress over my head in a flash as Bathilda closes the door slightly—not out of respect for me.
“Oh, I don’t mean to intrude. I’ve only brought some things for the girls.”
“What sorts of things?” Bathilda walks away from the door, but I slink out to see what he’s brought.
His hands are filled with books and boxes.
“Just some old books, puzzles, and games.” He holds them out for me to see, and I try not to give him much attention since Bathilda is watching every move. He seems disappointed with my reaction. “I brought all of Mother’s favorites: Austen, the Brontë sisters, even some of the classics.”
“These can’t be safe for the women.” Bathilda removes some from the boxes to study them.
“I’ve already approved it with the board, and they agree that this group can handle such things, and might actually improve with them.”
Bathilda shoots daggers at me with her eyes. “I’m sure they can thank Annelie for this as well, can’t they?”
I look away. I hope this won’t lead to more abuse. I sit down on the bench, forgetting how sore I am, and I wince.
“What’s wrong, Annelie?” he asks immediately.
“It’s something I was going to address with you, Doctor,” Bathilda interferes. She guides him slightly away from everyone, but I can still hear every horrible word.
“I’ve caught Annelie abusing herself, in a lustful way, countless times already. I think she’s made herself sore from it.”
“Annelie?” He glances at me with his brows furrowed. “Are you sure?”
“It couldn’t have been more clear.” She raises her eyebrows with a hint of scandal, and I fight everything in my being not to shout out, ‘Liar.’
Gitta. Remember Gitta.
“Oh. Well. That may not be so unusual, given her age.”
“Without getting too detailed I would say it was quite unusual.”
I roll my fists up into balls and imagine them knocking her to the floor. How could I even look at Dr. Evert after all of this?
Dr. Evert goes to lay the books and boxes down on the table. Juliane, Ursel, and Elfi rush over to inspect them. None of the other girls have been let out yet.
“Where’s Gitta?” Dr. Evert searches around the room. “I thought she would enjoy this game of chess.”
“I haven’t woken up all the girls yet and the poor dear did have a nasty one yesterday.”
“Was she injured?”
Bathilda shakes her head.
“And she had gone so long without a grand mal.”
“I had to give them all baths yesterday, delayed it for two weeks, just because of the effect it has on little Gitta. But, sure enough, it triggered one even when we were careful not to distress her.”
I don’t care what Zachariah has said, I’m sure she is pure evil.
“Well, maybe the piano will ease her stress some.”
“A piano?” Bathilda shakes her head immediately. “That will be far too stimulating for the patients to hear the piano all day.”
He shakes his head. “This one has a lock.”
Frieda smiles as she lets more patients out of their rooms. “We can set a time once a day for playing. I think it will be lovely for the women to hear some music.”
“No one can even play.” Bathilda sours.
“I can play some nursery rhymes.” Dr. Evert twiddles his fingers in the air.
Frieda beams. “I used to play for my church.”
“Wonderful!” Dr. Evert claps his hands together. “I just have to find someone to deliver it up four flights of stairs.”
Bathilda stands firm. “The hospital will never approve of such an expense.”
“It is my treat,” Dr. Evert says looking at me. “I feel as if I owe everyone for the horrible state of the food, and it’s been gathering dust in my empty house anyway. It will be nice to hear it again.”
Smiles spread around the room and Dr. Evert practically skips back down the hall. He halts though and spins back around. “I look forward to our session later this afternoon, Annelie.”
I cringe and Bathilda quickly adds, “Again, Doctor? You don’t usually see your patients every day.”
He takes a moment. “I wasn’t aware you were so attentive to my patient schedules, Bathilda, but I usually see my new patients every day for their first week.” He smiles at me. “Until then, enjoy the distractions.” Then he disappears behind the gate, leaving me with glaring Bathilda.
Frieda calls over. “Come look at these delightful games, Annelie.”
I’m eager to escape Bathilda’s heavy gaze.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Sibylle must have returned sometime last night. I walk up to her as she tries to get comfortable on the hard bench.
“What did the doctor say?”
“What they always say. That I’m imagining everything. That the fevers and aches I feel are all in my head.” Tears roll out the corners of her eyes as she lies there.
“I was hoping they would help you.”
“No, they just send me back without even aspirin to help my headaches. I really just wish that I’d die. I can’t keep feeling this way.”
“Maybe I could try to get you some aspirin?” Could I risk Bathilda’s wrath to request Dr. Evert to give her a few aspirins every day?
She seems to look at me for the first time. “You think you could do that for me?”
“I will try.”
More tears fall, but she smiles. “It means so much that you even believe me.”
Gitta reemerges after breakfast, which I was hoping Dr. Evert’s intervention had made some changes to, but we found everything to be the same. Hopefully, he’ll make some progress soon before more of my soft flesh melts away. Gitta walks out slightly weak but smiles when I hold up the checkerboard. We set up a game immediately and play for at least an hour, even though she wins every time.
“Annelie, you have a visitor.” I look up to see beautiful Kathrin standing at the edge of the great room. Even though we’re identical, I know she is far more beautiful now that I’ve been shut up here. Her travel clothes are fresh and ironed and her hair is expertly finished in two side braids. She stands out like a diamond in a pile of coal. Verena takes immediate notice of a greater beauty in the room and attempts to fluff her limp hair up.
Frieda brings her over to a table set far away from everyone else. I give her a long hug and she pulls away, examining the terrible state of my hair. “You don’t look like yourself.”
“I didn’t brush my hair after the bath I had yesterday.” Part of me wants to tell her about it.
I sit and she doesn’t relax, even after she finds the chair. She glances around the room at the patients playing games and reading books. She whispers, “They don’t look very normal.”
I laugh. “You should have been here before they were given something to do.”
“Will you come home yet?” Tears brim in her honey-brown eyes. “I can’t bear to think of you in such a place.”
“I told you tha
t I’m meant to be here. There must be something I have to do.”
“What if you’re wrong?”
I carefully point to Verena. “The one who stared at you when you came in is Savannah.”
“Savannah? I’ll have to watch out for her.”
“And I found baby Violet. The pretty little girl I was playing checkers with.”
“Really?” She watches Gitta as she finishes our game with Ursel.
I point around the room subtly. “There’s Beth, Timmie, Gracie, Lottie, Viv, and that nurse that brought you in is Matilda.”
She gasps. “I can’t believe that so many of them are all here.”
It’s so nice to have someone to share this all with.
“But no gap-in-the-teeth, huh?”
I sigh. “No, not yet. But I have found James.”
Her mouth drops open. “Where?” She looks around the room for grey-blue eyes.
“He’s my doctor. He admitted me.”
She squeals and draws attention across the room. Frieda makes sure everything is okay. Kathrin covers her mouth and says low, “How interesting! Are you going to tell him?”
“He already thinks I’m crazy, so it won’t change much. I’ll wait until the time is right, though. Would you believe that he collects American Civil War artifacts and even named his dog James?”
“Incredible.” She unbuttons her little pink wool coat. “Well, I have some good news too. I’ve met indigo-eyes. He is just like you said he’d be.”
“Where did you find him?”
“I couldn’t stay in the house anymore without you. It’s terrible there now that you’re gone. Mother is a nervous wreck and Father can’t even think about you, so he stays out as long as he can. So I went out into town to where a band was playing, and who do you think was singing and dancing for everyone but Jessie? Well, his new name is Carsten.”
“Did you talk to him?” I lean forward. I wish I could have been there with her.
“He pulled me up to dance with him on stage!” She smiles. “And walked me home after.” Her eyes glisten in excitement. “He came calling for me last night, too.”
“I wish I could meet him.”
She scans the dim room. “Well, maybe after I get to know him more, I can bring him here.”