by L. E. Waters
“That’s just what you can’t do. We’re all going to have to make some changes if any of us have any hope of escaping here.” They listen closer as we talk about what needs to be done.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Gustav surprises us all after we return from breakfast. He hasn’t visited since the trucks rolled in, and even Odelia lights up when she sees him after months of thinking he might have given up on her. He rocks back and forth on his feet once Odelia runs right to him. We don’t even attempt to look busy so we can overhear. In these times, we’re desperate to hear any news.
“I can’t believe it. Are you actually happy to see me?” His wide grin immediately halts Odelia, who looked as if she might have embraced him, but his comment makes her take a step back.
“Terrible things are happening here, Gustav,” she says.
“I know. It’s taken me this long to find a way in.”
I can’t contain my excitement. “Did you find a way to sneak in past the guards?” He could show us all the way out today.
I interrupt his study of Odelia and he turns his attention to me. “Oh, no. I had to call on a few favors and sell one of my watches to get in.” He looks back to Odelia and twists his current wristwatch. “Not one of my favorites, just one of my informal ones.”
I realize that they must be very wealthy. Odelia doesn’t act at all like an aristocrat, but now I see it in her delicate features, her graceful manner, and her intelligent eyes. I imagine the array of fine clothes she must have in her closets and what her estate must look like.
Odelia’s voice pulls me out of my daydream of French architecture and raw silks. “You must get us out of here. As soon as you can.”
He purses his thin lips together as his eyes glint. “Are you saying you’d like to come home?”
Odelia scoffs. “Gustav, they’re killing people here. We’ve watched them disappear around us.”
“I was told they were relocating patients.”
“Relocating them to the ovens,” Elfi says.
“Aren’t you the one who sees fairies?” Gustav asks.
“I’m the one who sees fairies.” Ursel looks proud, with an arm raised. “And vampires, shadow people, the sky men, balls of light, dancing kittens, and unicorns. I’m the only one who can see them.”
He points at me. “You seem to be the most”—he looks back to all of their expectant eyes—”knowledgeable. What have you witnessed?”
“Odelia’s right.”
Sibylle whispers, “They’re bringing others in by the truckload, yet the trucks leave empty.”
Gustav shuts his mouth and looks to the ceiling for a moment. “I see. This changes everything.” Worry washes over his face. “I only thought I had to watch where they’d take you. I had no idea you were in jeopardy.”
“We’re only alive because of Dr. Evert’s protection,” I say, and a pang twists in my heart at the mention of his name.
“Handsome Fridric,” Verena swoons. “I hope he’s not dead.”
Gustav puts an arm around Odelia’s bony shoulders. “Let’s go, Odelia. I can get you out of here right now.”
She sidesteps out of his reach. “No, you must take us all.”
Gustav purses his lips tighter. “It would be a miracle if I could manage to get you out, but I know I can’t get all of you out.”
Gitta holds one of her hands. “You should go, Odelia. We’ll get out soon, too.
“Dr. Evert said he had a plan.” I paste a confident smile on my face, but I have little hope.
“Listen to them, dear, they are surprisingly making sense.” He chuckles.
Odelia shakes her head. “No, I’m not leaving without them.”
Gustav throws his head back. “Why must you be so difficult? I’m trying to save you, don’t you see?”
“I would be dead within days if I found out that any one of these girls didn’t make it out.” She stands stiff.
He knows she speaks the truth. He glances around to each of our faces. “Fine. What if I promise that if you come with me now, I will try my best to get everyone to safety?”
Her eyes sharpen. “Just like you promised that the finest doctor from Berlin would cure our children?”
I wish we could step away from them; the tension is so thick it’s hard to breathe.
“What do you want from me? I’m trying my best.” He narrows one eye and widens the other. “Other husbands have just let their wives disappear from here without another thought. But I’m here, Odelia, trying everything I can to help you, and you manage to even hate me for that as well?”
Just when we think Odelia will attack him, the daggers withdraw from her eyes and she takes a step closer to him. “I’m sorry, Gustav. I appreciate that you still care for me after everything that has happened. But now, you might be the only one who can save us. Please try.”
He lets out a long breath. “Give me all your names.” He takes out a small pad and pencil from his coat and we are eager to spell them out. After he finishes writing Sibylle’s down, I say, “Can you also try to find out where Dr. Evert has gone?”
“I’d check House C 16,” Verena says.
I glare at her. “Wherever he is, he might need our help, and we owe that to him after all he has done for us.”
Gustav scratches the name Dr. Fridric Evert down and snaps his book shut. “I have a lot to do, so I will say goodbye.” He puts his arms out to Odelia and she slowly walks into them. He looks into her eyes, “I know you doubt me, but I will use every connection I have and sell anything of importance in order to get you and your friends out. You’re all that I care about.”
As he saunters down the hall, Juliane asks, “Do you think he can save us?”
“If anyone can save us, it’s the Captain,” I say, and only in this place would no one question that statement.
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Bathilda wastes no time. An hour later, she leads a stout, grim-faced doctor to our floor. I notice his cleft chin and beady eyes immediately.
Mama. Maybe he’ll actually be of some assistance.
“Dr. Wurst, these are the patients I’ve been telling you about.”
I grant Bathilda a tight smile. “I’m sure it has been all good things.”
Bathilda points to me. “Of course, that is the delusional one, Annelie. Evert’s pet.”
Dr. Wurst checks up from his files like I’m just a name on his page. “We should start.” He glances to the large wall clock. “This will take some time.”
“Who would you like to start with?” Bathilda can’t wait to grab up one of us like lobsters in a bucket.
Dr. Wurst taps his files. “Let’s start with Sibylle.” He turns to go into the room Bathilda set up for him and I mouth to Sibylle, Keep it short, as she walks stiffly from sitting for so long. Of course, Bathilda insists on being in the evaluation. This can only make things worse. We scramble to the door to listen.
“Sibylle, tell the doctor about your health,” Bathilda prods.
“My health?” Sibylle repeats.
I hold my breath.
“Tell the doctor about how you feel.”
“I feel wonderful.”
I wish I could see the look on Bathilda’s face right now.
Dr. Wurst says, “It says here that you requested to visit the infirmary here multiple times a day since you’ve been here.”
“That was before we got out into the fresh air daily. The garden has healed me.”
“You don’t have any more complaints?”
“No, sir. I’ve never felt better.”
“You asked for aspirin just yesterday.” Bathilda is desperate.
In her whisper voice, she says, “I was having some female discomfort.”
We hold back our snickers with fisted hands.
“Ask her about how she felt before then. Tell him about how you thought you were dying.”
The doctor says, “I don’t see why if she says she feels fine now.”
We hurry away from the door as their chairs squeak. Sibylle reemerges with a smile on her face, and Bathilda calls to Verena.
Verena gets up demurely, and none of us noticed until now that she’s buttoned up her sweater to the top and has unrolled her skirt to fall below her knees. She gives us a wink as she slips into the room. We rush to the door.
“Verena?” Dr. Wurst asks.
“Yes, sir.” It doesn’t even sound like Verena. Her voice fills with a child-like tone.
“We have many reports of indecent activity involving you and the guards and doctors here.”
“I am very embarrassed by my actions, sir.”
Bathilda snorts. “This isn’t Verena.”
“Oh, who is this, then?” says the doctor.
“No, this is Verena, but she’s acting like someone else.”
Verena says, “You seem confused, Nurse Bathilda. Are you feeling all right?”
“See, Verena would never say that.”
“Nurse Bathilda, please let me speak to the patient.”
Minna giggles at hearing Bathilda so distressed.
The doctor continues, “You admit to your indiscretions?”
“Yes, and I apologize for them. I see now how vulgar and inappropriate I was. The doctors and nurses have truly helped me see that.”
“Do you still have trouble controlling your impulses?”
Bathilda interrupts, “Of course she does. We had to pull her away from the window last week because she was flirting with a gang of soldiers below.”
“I was only talking to them. We must do our best to keep up the morale of Hitler’s brave legions.”
I had no doubt that Verena could master this role.
Bathilda tries again. “Why don’t you tell the doctor about your fears of aging and how some of the men, such as Dr. Evert, were not interested in your propositions?”
Doubt rears its ugly head.
“You say that like I’m as ancient as you, Bathilda.”
The doctor chimes in. “You are approaching an advanced age for a single woman. Men will not be as easily enticed by you.”
I say a silent prayer.
“I’m…I’m only focusing on my health now, Doctor. I strive to give back to society one day.”
It’s a miracle.
“You can go as well, ma’am, and thank you for your patriotism.”
I’m sure Verena balked at the ‘ma’am’, address but she comes out quietly.
“Minna!” Bathilda barks.
Minna jumps up, and the hives have already started to surface on her pale skin.
“Minna, is it?” the doctor says slowly, as if she’s a two-year-old.
“That’s affirmative,” Minna replies with confidence.
“That is a big word for you, dear. I’m impressed.” Dr. Wurst shuffles some papers. “Can you read?”
“Yes. Juliane taught me.”
Bathilda says, “Only at a grade school level.”
“I just finished Pride and Prejudice.”
“Is that true?” the doctor says.
“She pretends to read,” Bathilda quips.
“No, I read the whole thing. All two hundred and ninety-eight pages, all by myself. I just love Mr. Darcy. I’m starting to read it again, but it does take me longer than the other girls.” Minna’s telling the truth.
“What else can you read?”
“I can read music. The girls say that I’m a genius.”
“Is that true, Nurse? Can she play?”
Bathilda scoffs. “She’s mongoloid, Doctor. There’s very little she can do.”
“I will play something for you, Doctor. Come with me.”
We run away from the door and she emerges, the hives replaced with an insulted flush. Frieda hurries to unlock the piano and Minna starts to play Pachelbel’s Canon in D. The doctor’s jaw drops as she plays without sheet music. “Astonishing, Minna. I can’t even play that tune.” He makes a check with a blue pen in the upper right corner. “Ursel, can you please come in to speak with me?”
Ursel follows both of them back into the makeshift office.
“Do you see things that aren’t there?” I’m so glad the doctor asked it this way.
“No,” she says. “Everything I see is real.”
Bathilda pounces on it. “Like the gnomes and the leprechauns and all the other strange creatures you see. Look, she’s hallucinating at something above your head right now.”
“Is that true that you see something up there?”
There is a long pause. Ursel hesitantly says, “Why, do you see something?”
He answers, “I don’t see anything there, but it looks like you’re watching something.”
“I’m watching you, Doctor,” Ursel answers, and I remember to breathe.
“No, you’re looking above my head.”
“Where there aren’t any kittens dancing.”
“Is that what you see?” Dr. Wurst asks. “Do you see kittens?”
“Not if you don’t see them.”
“Stop lying, Ursel,” Bathilda says. “Tell him all about the kittens. No, tell him about the vampires.”
“It sounds like you’re delusional, Nurse Bathilda,” Ursel replies.
A few of the girls spurt out at this, and we can’t get away soon enough as Bathilda rips open the door. “Frieda! Why are these patients listening at the door? This is a private matter. Keep them away or I’ll lock them in their rooms.” She slams the door again. Frieda gives us a stern look and a finger at her lips to quiet us.
“Do you see those things, Ursel?” the doctor asks.
“I’ve learned that they’re just my imagination. People have misunderstood me. They are just stories I’ve created.”
“And you can tell the difference between real and make-believe?”
“The world I create is magical and this world is not.”
No truer words have been said.
“You may go, then. Send Odelia in.”
Ursel returns and lets out a long withheld breath. Odelia picks lint of her sweater nervously as she heads in.
“It says here you lost your children and that you now suffer from great depression with suicidal tendencies.”
“Yes, I was depressed, but I’m getting better.”
“Do you still want to kill yourself?”
“The girls here have taught me how beautiful friendship is and how much I’m needed still.”
Bathilda unfortunately speaks up. “If you’re getting so much better, why don’t you tell the doctor the names of your dead children?”
I realize she has never said their names, not even when talking to Gustav.
“See, Doctor?” Bathilda says triumphantly. “She can’t even tell us their names. She’s still in massive grief.”
With tears in her soft voice, Odelia says, “Martin and little Nellie.”
A chill runs through me. I feel every bit of her grief in their names.
“She’s only doing this because she knows you’re reevaluating her, Doctor. That’s why they’re all pretending.”
“Nurse, please take a moment to step outside and compose yourself. I take your comment as an insult, questioning my ability to diagnose patients.”
“I beg your pardon, Doctor. I will stay outside.”
We all reach the nearest seats by the time Bathilda resurfaces. She gives a shark-like look, ready to strike out at any one of us. Odelia returns and realizes that we’re not able to listen in anymore, but gives a small thumbs-up that she made it through her interrogation.
Juliane and Gitta seem to get through their evaluations with flying colors as well. Juliane even shakes the doctor’s hand at the end and doesn’t head immediately into the bathroom to wash it off. Gitta doesn’t have even a mild seizure at the stress. Elfi is called and I twiddle my thumbs until she reappears, calm and n
ot shouting out portents of doom.
Bathilda smirks in my direction. “Last and least, Annelie.” I walk past her, but she whispers, “Dr. Evert can’t protect you now.”
I sit down, but Bathilda asks, “I have controlled myself, Doctor. Can I assist you once again?”
He only nods to her and she stands so I can see her watch me.
“Annelie, it says here that you believe you have lived before.”
“Eleven times,” Bathilda adds.
“Well, do you believe that?”
If Elfi can stay calm and Ursel can deny her hallucinations, I certainly can do this. “Not anymore, sir. Dr. Evert has cured me.”
“Is that so?” He looks unsure.
“Dr. Evert is the one I reported, Doctor. The two had a close relationship. A little too close.”
“Reported?” I echo, and it’s all I hear, although the doctor picks up Bathilda’s insinuation. Bathilda’s snide smile spreads like the horizon at my question.
“And what did Dr. Evert do to cure you?” The doctor purses his lips.
“He took me through regression therapy and showed me that my past lives were merely repressed memories from my childhood.”
He turns to Bathilda, “This is the same doctor that was taken away for political crimes, Nurse?”
“Political crimes? Is that what you told them, Bathilda?” I spin on her immediately. That is where he’s gone, and Bathilda’s to blame.
Bathilda only raises her nose and tells the doctor, “He has deterred and conspired against the regime the whole time.”
Fridric is doomed.
“That is a lie!” I lash out at both of them, nearly crushing the doctor with the table in his opulent gut. Bathilda immediately grabs both my arms and crosses them around me to keep me from attacking them. “He’s a hero. He’s saved us!”
Bathilda screams, “Frieda, get a tranquilizer!” as she drags me out into the hall.
“Bathilda had Dr. Evert taken away!” I call to the girls.
Elfi immediately comes to my defense and jumps on Bathilda’s back. Ursel pries open the nurse’s clutches, releasing me, as Verena, Sibylle, and Minna pin down Bathilda as she hollers for Frieda.
Elfi yells at the doctor, who’s slinking out of the room. “You’re one of the spiders! The spiders coming to measure us and take away anyone who doesn’t fit in their webs, turning us into smoke. Satan’s army, who rob people of their teeth and turn them into soap!”