“Was that closet…unlocked?” he asked me slowly and I simply nodded and then swung open the door.
“I really need you to start explaining Remy,” I said hoarsely and he actually had the nerve to look contrite as he slowly walked towards me.
“So…I look up to your mom a little bit, but she’s an incredible woman. To be a successful singer, producer, and actress…I mean you know more than anyone that she has a pretty wide variety of fans,” he said, his light blue eyes were no longer contrite, but only slightly embarrassed that I found his shrine to my mother.
“Can you tell me right now if you only came into this relationship to try and get close to my mom?” I asked him and his expression sobered, I didn’t see outrage or incredulity in his gaze at my insinuation. I saw a flash of guilt and that was all I needed to see. “You fucking jackass. You didn’t think I would eventually find out about this? This is sick!” I yelled at him, my shock having completely dissolved at that point and anger quickly boiling into fury in my chest. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t found out about it sooner! I was equally upset with myself for falling for Remy and his obvious ploy to try and get close to his idol apparently.
“Nicole, just wait a second. Let’s calm down a little and talk about this. I really do love you,” he said pleadingly, but I saw through his crap, his ticket to the famous Ronnie James was slipping away from him and he’d probably say anything to get me to stay.
“Don’t even bother Remy, it’s over,” I said harshly and then stormed off to his room to pack whatever stuff I left at his place. I was beyond furious and more at my own stupidity, which made me feel even worse. Was I really that naïve to believe that not everyone wanted to be close to me just to get to mom? Remy had done a standup job in fooling me. I thought he was real, I thought he saw the real me and loved me…not the fact that I was Ronnie James’s daughter.
“Nicole, c’mon let’s talk about this. You’re not leaving, this isn’t over…” Remy said as he walked into the bedroom. I was emptying out my drawer and still had to get some of my toiletries from the bathroom.
“Remy I have nothing to say to you, nor will I ever. So please just let the fact that you’re an idiot and a jerk sink in. You messed up and I can’t forgive you for this, it’s over,” I said without looking at him and brushed by him with my overnight bag to get my stuff from the bathroom. Once I was all packed up I stormed out to the kitchen and grabbed my purse and car keys.
“Nicole…” Remy grabbed my arm almost forcefully as I was stepping out to the garage and I wrenched it away from him and met him face to face. “This is crazy, you’re not leaving,” he said, his eyes were wide, but strangely unbothered. He didn’t appear upset, which was…strange. “Look, I’ll give you some time and then we’ll talk about things, okay?” he said and I just shook my head at him, I wondered if he was delusional.
“No Remy, I don’t trust you, it’s over,” I said with finality and then walked away from him to get into my car and leave. As I got into my Audi and put my bags in the back seat, the garage door opened and I figured that he couldn’t be that crazy if he was letting me leave. I glanced at him one last time and found his suddenly cold and angry expression to be a bit chilling. I quickly put the car in gear and got the hell out of there.
I drove to my mom’s place in Montauk. The hour drive from Long Island gave me enough time to at least calm down. When I pulled up to the front gate of her house I remembered that I didn’t even call to make sure she was home. I used my pass card anyway and figured if she wasn’t home I’d just wait for her inside. Once I got past the gate I drove up the drive to the house and then let myself inside, I heard my mom’s loud laughter coming from the living room to the left of the foyer and I walked towards the sound of her voice.
*****
“Oh Nicole! Listen, my daughter just dropped in, I’ll call you back Em.” Mom was on the phone while standing in front of the huge floor to ceiling view of the beach behind her house. She looked the same, gorgeous as ever, even without makeup. Ronnie had light brown, café au lait, skin that was just like mine. Her hair was long and curly and hung to her mid back, whereas I wore mine straight and it was just as thick and long. She had really pretty feminine features, well formed cheekbones, not too high or too pronounced. Her nose was a graceful slope and her lips plump and full. I think the only other difference between us were my eyebrows, I had slightly thicker ones than her naturally thin and arched brows. I was really glad that I inherited her grey eyes though, I always thought that those were one of the features that made my mom memorable.
“What brings you here baby girl?” she asked me as I walked over to her and gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek. She took one close look at me and knew something was wrong. “Uh-oh, talk to me. What happened baby girl?” she asked and I sighed deeply and just shook my head.
“Boy problems…Remy is obsessed with you, so I had to dump him,” I said and at first my mom laughed a little, mostly out of disbelief. Then she saw in my gaze that I wasn’t kidding at all.
“What do you mean…obsessed?” she asked carefully and I sighed again. I was getting upset with myself all over again.
“I mean he had a life size cutout of you, and a room completely dedicated to idolizing you,” I said and my mom’s eyes widened in angered dismay.
“I can’t believe him, and you really seemed to be liking this guy too. To think I wanted to meet him soon,” she scoffed and shook her head. “I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry you have to go through stuff like this. Having to filter through everyone who wants to get close to you with a fine toothed comb,” she said apologetically and I shrugged.
“I’m used to it by now…I should be anyway. I’m more upset at myself for not seeing through his façade, and little after thought questions about you,” I sighed and my mom hugged me again and rubbed my back soothingly.
“How about we make some lunch?” she asked me and I nodded.
“That sounds good, I could use some distraction,” I said and she wrapped her arm around my shoulders as we walked over to the kitchen.
“You know…if he’s a super fan like you described, with like a shrine and everything, I think you need to be careful with how you handle the break up…” my mom said slowly and I looked at her curiously.
“Why do you say that?” I asked her and she tilted her head at me and lifted her eyebrows slightly.
“Well because if he’s a super fan and tried to use you to get to me, then I don’t imagine he’ll give up his only link to a person he idolizes,” she said seriously and I chewed on my bottom lip in speculation.
“I see what you’re saying…” I said and then remembered the look on Remy’s face as I was leaving. Mom went to the fridge and started getting out ingredients for loaded grilled cheese, one of my favorite dishes that she’s ever made for me. And really one of the only dishes she really knew how to make well.
“Come help me babe,” she said and I went to help her make lunch.
“How long will you be home?” I asked her and she sighed, I knew what that meant. She was getting ready to do a long stint of working away.
“Well I’ve been cast for a movie and we start shooting in the UK next month, but the date might be brought up depending on how soon funding comes through,” she said and I looked at her curiously.
“How long will you be away then?” I asked her and she actually shrugged.
“A few months, but my music agent thinks that since I’ll be in the UK, I should do a tour there for the old album before I start recording the next,” she said and I turned my attention to chopping bacon.
“So you’ll be away for a while then,” I said and she nodded.
“You know you can always visit me,” she said and I knew that was out of the question.
“Yeah I know; I just miss this you know? It seems like you’re working more and more these days,” I said and she stopped washing spinach to look at me.
“Well, you’re all grown up now, you have your ow
n lounge and restaurant and your own life. I figure why not take up an extra tour or two?” she said and I nodded.
“Yeah I know, I just miss you I guess,” I said and my mom gave me a sympathetic look and came over to give me a loud kiss on the cheek.
“Well how about we spend some more time together while I’m here? We can forget all about that Remy,” she said and I rolled my eyes while she chuckled at my expression.
“I wish I could forget about him now, that…freaking…crazy person,” I mumbled and my mom laughed fully then.
“You never did know how to insult people Nicole. Just say it, he’s a jackass,” she said and we both burst into laughter. While we had lunch we watched a movie in the family room and pretty much hung out like teenagers. My mom was one of the coolest people anyone could ever meet and I was glad to have her be my mom regardless of her profession, or who she was to the public. I loved her even more for actually being a mom to me, even though her career was so demanding. I had to admit though, it was cool to have Ronnie James show up at parent teacher meetings when I was younger.
*****
I arrived at my house sometime after dinner and was thinking about, Bosque, my lounge in the city. It was also a restaurant and we’ve been up and running for a year now, successfully. So much so that I’ve been letting my managers run the lounge more and more. I’ve actually been thinking about opening another location in the Hampton’s.
I walked up the steps to my townhouse and didn’t even realize someone was leaning against the door until I was right in front of him.
“Remy…” I said in surprise. My heart sped up in my chest nervously as I studied his face. His expression was serious and intently focused on me.
“Hey…I haven’t been able to get a hold of you on the phone, I wanted to speak with you. I figured you’d have calmed down enough to talk by now,” he said and then pushed off of the door to step closer to me. We were a breath away and already I didn’t like our proximity, at all.
“I told you all I had to say at the house Remy…I’m sorry, but I don’t think a relationship will work out between us now,” I said and saw his jaw flex a couple of times before he spoke.
“Can you just…agree to give me another chance please? I’ll give you some time, but at least give me a chance to redeem myself,” he said and I shook my head.
“I’m sorry Remy, but no,” I said with strength in my voice, I was proud that I held my ground despite how nervous I felt. His gaze darkened though and he sighed heavily.
“I won’t stop trying Nicole, I won’t take no for an answer,” he said and I took a step away from him.
“Well you’re going to have to Remy. Now I really need you to leave,” I said and checked any hostility in my voice as not to provoke him in any way. Remy stared at me long and hard before he shook his head and slowly walked away. I watched him go until he rounded the corner at the end of my block. Then I released a deep breath and unlocked the door to step inside. I stood in the front room and rummaged around in my purse for my cell phone. I had ten missed calls from Remy…that was a little…overzealous. We had only just started sleeping over each other’s houses, it wasn’t like we had been together for years, or even many months. My mom’s words from earlier sounded in my head, but I brushed it off. I’d only let myself be nervous if he continued to bother me.
I took a deep breath and then decided to go and check on the lounge, as I didn’t really feel like being alone. Quickly I showered and changed, then made my way to SoHo from the upper West Side. Bosque was a jazz and hip-hop lounge and grill, it was fairly easy for me to get the lounge publicity because of my mom, who pretty much simply had to tweet about it. Then well known artists started coming in and giving shows, and before I knew it Bosque had become a popular destination in the city. It was where I met Remy and all…I pulled up to the curb of the lounge and my car was valeted as soon as I got out.
“Nicole! Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.” One of my general managers, Brandon, had come outside to speak to one of the bouncers. He grinned at me welcomingly and I greeted him with a warm hug. I was pretty close with all of my managers, I had to be, to make sure we all had the same priorities, and that was to make sure Bosque was, and remained, a success.
“Yeah, well I figured I’d just pop in and see how things are doing,” I said and he pulled my arm through his as we stepped inside. The lounge was alive and pumping with energy as the band performing played a sort of hip-hop swing song that sounded really good.
“Wow, who booked this band? They’re great,” I said and Brandon smiled at the stage.
“They are an up and coming from France, good stuff right?” Brandon said and I nodded.
“Really good, my goodness, give me more,” I said and Brandon cracked up.
“Have I ever told you that you’re kind of sexual,” he said and I shrugged at him with a smirk.
“I get it from my mom…so everyone says,” I said and Brandon laughed again.
“Nicole,” the angry bark came from behind Brandon and I as we stood off to the side of the entrance. I knew exactly who it was even before I turned around.
*****
“Remy?” I said and turned around to find him standing directly behind Brandon and I. He was wearing the same pants and grey pullover that he was wearing at my house. “What are you doing here?” I asked him and he glanced between Brandon and I, his nostrils flared a moment before he spoke.
“This is a public place, I figured I’d find you here where you can’t exactly kick me out,” he said and Brandon tensed at my side.
“Is everything okay between you two? Nicole you want me to get security?” he asked and I nodded slightly.
“Really, you’re going to have security take me out of here? For what Nicole, I’m just trying to talk to you. And you’re out here, all up on other guys?” He asked me and gestured to my arm linked with Brandon’s.
“Remy how many times do I have to tell you? Leave me alone, it’s over,” I said and he shook his head as Brandon quickly walked to the entrance to get the attention of one of the bouncers.
“It’s not over Nicole, just let me explain myself,” he said and I shook my head back and forth. I glanced at the entrance and wondered what was taking Brandon so long. Then I realized that there was some sort of commotion going on outside the door. “Just listen to me Nic…” Remy said as he stepped towards me and put his hands on my shoulders.
“Stop Remy, just stop. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. Just get over it!” I was exasperated with him already and my anger was returning at the fact that he was then harassing me at my place of business. I went to brush his hands from my shoulders, but he gripped them tightly. Tight enough to where I felt his thumbs press into my shoulders painfully. “Remy let go of me,” I said and he shook his head, his expression frustrated and focused on me as if there wasn’t a building full of people behind us.
“I just need you to listen to me, okay?” he said and I pushed on his arms harder to try and get him to let go of me, he only gripped my shoulders harder and began pushing me back into the corner.
“Let go of me Remy, you’re hurting me!” I yelled, but the volume inside was loud and no one near us seemed to be the slightest bit aware of what was unfolding in the corner. Where was Brandon? At that point my heart was like a jackhammer in my chest, what if he really hurt me? He couldn’t though could he? We were in a very public place.
“Hey! Let go of her man,” the deep voice of one of the bouncers, Jason, boomed behind Remy and I breathed a sigh of relief. Remy’s face became absolutely hostile as Jason clamped his hand on Remy’s shoulder and began to pull him away from me.
“This is what you want Nicole? You want to make things difficult? Just because you don’t want to let me talk to you, just because you can’t listen? You’ll see what happens, you’ll hear me out before long,” Remy spat the words and fought against Jason so he could say his piece. “You don’t want to see who I really am N
icole; this is your last chance before I make your life a living hell. I just want to talk.” Jason grabbed at Remy’s arms, but Remy was just as big as he was and fought against him almost easily. Brandon called for another bouncer who quickly made a beeline for us.
“You’re crazy, I’ll get a restraining order,” I said and he laughed derisively and then nodded as if he was making his mind up about something. My blood ran like ice in my veins. Honestly if I agreed to hear him out and still told him no, would the outcome be any different?
Just as the other bouncer, Ryan, got to the scene, Remy lunged forward and wrapped both hands around my neck and squeezed until I could scarcely drag air into my lungs. He leaned close to my ear and quickly whispered, “You do that baby, I’ll still be everywhere you are.” Then he was wrenched away from me and forced out of the lounge. I all but collapsed onto the ground as my legs had turned to jelly and Brandon caught me.
“Hey it’s alright, we called the cops, he’s gone, you can get a restraining order against him,” Brandon said quickly, to try and soothe my nerves. I quickly dragged air into my lungs and then slowly straightened and glanced around to see eyes all on me. That was so the last thing I needed, the paparazzi would soon be all over this scene.
“Fuck,” I whispered and Brandon glanced around as he led me to the back.
“It’ll be alright, don’t worry about the onlookers,” he said as he rubbed my back soothingly. We walked to my office and Brandon started speaking at a mile a minute as I tried to control my erratic breathing. I was freaking out and the last thing I needed was to hyperventilate and pass out on Brandon, who looked like he would pass out if anything else happened.
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