“Let’s leave,” I said.
“Leave and go where?” he asked me. I could tell he didn’t understand what I meant.
“Leave and go anywhere. Leave and never come back! I don’t want you going to jail. We have a son to raise and you can’t do that from some cage. I don’t care if you are guilty, I will not let this break up my family!” I said.
“I don’t want to do that to you guys. We’d both go to jail,” Jordan said.
“It’s worth a try Jordan. We can do this,” I assured him.
“Ok Bonnie,” Jordan teased. I smiled.
“I’m serious. I am your Bonnie and I will ride with you until the wheels fall off. This is fate baby and we can’t fight fate.”
“You’re talking crazy,” Jordan said.
“Just crazy enough to work,” I told him. He pulled me back down into his arms and kissed me on the forehead.
“Let’s sleep on it. It feels so good to be holding you. To be in our bed again,” he said.
“This bed was cold and lonely without you. Don’t ever leave me again,” I demanded.
“I won’t,” he said.
“Good, so we’re leaving,” I said with finality. Jordan chuckled.
“I love you,” he said.
“Then run away with me,” I told him. I wasn’t going to give up. This was our only chance.
“Nia, where would we go?” he asked. “We have a son. We can’t be fugitives.”
“We’ll leave the country. Go to Mexico. Learn Spanish. Travel further south to South America.”
“That sounds crazy.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures. Would you rather sit in a cage for five years?” I asked him.
“Let’s talk about this after a nap,” Jordan said, with a nod. I looked at him. He did look tired. I kissed him on his lips and he closed his eyes. Soon, Jordan was fast asleep. But I couldn’t sleep, my mind was racing.
*****
Wednesday
By the next day, I had convinced Jordan to leave. He kept muttering to himself, “I can’t believe we’re really doing this.” but I ignored him. This was more than just a crazy idea. I felt compelled to do this, like it was destiny. We packed up the necessities in two suitcases, sold my car and booked a cruise to the Bahamas. Within a few hours, we were aboard a cruise ship leaving New York City and headed for the Bahamas. It had been unusually warm for November and the weather was beautiful.
“I’ve always wanted to go to the Bahamas,” I said. This was all our first time on a cruise ship and our first time leaving the country. I loved being on the ship and looking out at all of the water. I was in paradise already. Jordan, on the other hand, hated the ocean and was sick most of the trip. He couldn’t keep down any food and spent a lot of time in the bathroom throwing up. I spent a lot of my time with JJ, up on the ships deck. When it was time for JJ’s nap, we returned to our room. I was laying JJ down on the bed as Jordan emerged from the bathroom. He looked paler than usual. Jordan plopped down on the bed beside me and managed a weak smile.
“How are you feeling?” I asked him.
“Like shit, but I’m glad to know that at least you guys are enjoying yourselves,” Jordan said.
“We are. I love it and I’m having so much fun,” I exclaimed. Jordan stared at me, searching my face.
“You’re crazy, you do know that, right?” he asked me. I smiled.
“Crazy in love with you baby,” I said, kissing him on the cheek.
“I can’t believe that we’re really doing this,” Jordan said, for the millionth time.
“Well believe it, because it’s happening,” I told him.
“They’re probably putting out a warrant for my arrest right now. You know, there’s no turning back now.”
“No turning back.”
“Bonnie and Clyde.”
“Ride or die.” Jordan smiled at me and kissed me on the lips. He caressed my thick thigh and slid his hand up to grab a handful of ass.
“Damn, you got a lot of ass!” Jordan exclaimed. “This is some good ass right here. Nice and soft. Look.” He jiggled my ass cheek with his hand. “That’s some good jiggle right there.” I laughed. Jordan always knew how to make me smile. I was so in love with this man and I knew in my heart that it was all worth it. I couldn’t stand the thought of almost losing him again.
I stood by my decision, although, I was a little sad about leaving my family. I tried not to let my spirits fall. Jordan immediately noticed my mood drop, no matter how quickly I tried to fix my face. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.” I tried to convince him.
“Tell me.”
“I’m going to miss my family,” I told him. Suddenly, tears filled my eyes and I tried to blink them back before they fell. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cry.” Jordan wiped a tear from my cheek.
“It’s ok baby. I know that this is hard and I hate myself for putting you through all of this,” Jordan said, and he looked like he genuinely meant it. Suddenly, he paled and jumped up out of the bed, racing into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him, but I could hear him throwing up. I tried to stop the tears from flowing, but couldn’t.
I thought about how much my family would miss me. My mom would be worried and I had no way of contacting her, no way of assuring her that we were all right. They’d definitely miss the baby and the baby would miss them. This was all so fucked up and sad, but I knew that sacrifices had to be made. I had a family of my own that I had to look after and keep together now. I had made a tough decision, but I had done it in the name of love.
When we arrived in Bahamas, I was in awe. It was beautiful, the people were beautiful. We had truly landed in paradise. Although I was still sad about my family, I was enjoying myself and put those ill feelings on the backburner. Jordan told me that he needed to make a phone call and left me and JJ in the hotel lobby with our two suitcases. When he returned, instead of heading up to our hotel room, Jordan insisted that we remain in the lobby. I thought that he was acting strange but decided not to pry.
Minutes later, the police ran down on us. I was shocked, but Jordan didn’t seem surprised at all. He just wore this solemn expression. I immediately thought about his phone call and knew that he had turned himself in. Silent tears ran down my face as I watched them handcuff Jordan. Before they took him away, I embraced him and kissed him on the lips.
“I will always love you Mr. Rivers,” I told him.
“I will always love you Mrs. Rivers,” he told me. I followed them as they led Jordan to a police car. Jordan would be flown back to the United States. I watched him as they drove off. I stood there weeping and holding our son, long after they were out of sight. I went back inside the hotel lobby. Paradise had quickly turned to hell without Jordan. I wanted to go home. With the help of the woman at the front desk of the hotel, I booked the next flight back to the U.S. I couldn’t even fathom trying to enjoy this vacation without Jordan. All it served was as a painful reminder of his absence.
Although I was hurt, a part of me loved Jordan even more for turning himself in. It showed me that he wasn’t the same selfish boy I had met. That he had grown and matured into a man, who put his family first. I would always love him and I would be there for him no matter what happened, no matter how long I had to wait.
*****
Many Lonely Days and Nights Later
I was back home. As soon as we had touched down, I went straight to my parent’s house. I was emotionally distraught and needed my mother. My heart was hurting and I was suffering. My mom watched JJ for me, while I rested and tried to heal from the pain. I was depressed and didn’t want to be alone. I was heartbroken without Jordan and wrote him often, sending him pictures and poems. He wrote me too and not a day went by that we didn’t talk on the phone.
It was hard without him. I was a single mom now. I had to step it up and pick up the slack. Jordan was sentenced to three years in prison. He could have gotten more. Shit, my cousin had gotten mor
e. They’d probably be getting out around the same time. My mom suggested I move home with them, but I refused. Although I was lonely, I enjoyed having my own place and wasn’t willing to give that up. I did move closer though.
A month after I had returned from the Bahamas, I found out I was pregnant. I was both sad and excited. I was sad because Jordan wouldn’t be here for the birth, but I was excited to be pregnant again. I decided to tell Jordan in person. When I told him, he was speechless and he cried. A few months later, I found out I was having a girl. I was ecstatic to be having a daughter. I sent Jordan ultrasound pictures and we discussed baby names. Jordan wanted to name her Nila. I thought that was a beautiful name too.
Nila Teagan Rivers was born at 11:11p.m., on the 9th of September. She was absolutely beautiful. I had my mom take plenty of pictures, from start to finish of my entire labor so Jordan wouldn’t miss a thing. These days, all I did was take pictures. I didn’t want to miss anything and I didn’t want Jordan to miss anything either. When Jordan finally got out, Nila was three and JJ was five, but Jordan wasn’t a stranger to them. I took them to visit him constantly. He talked on the phone with them every day and I sent him pictures of their artwork. When Jordan came home, he had every picture and letter that I had sent him over the years.
Jordan was huge. He had been in there working out and reading, meditating, and trying his best to stay productive. He had started writing, and planned on publishing a book now that he was out. I encouraged him. And all he wanted to do was be with his kids. After all of these years, I was finally getting a break. My family was finally whole again. I was afraid that I would never see the day. The days and nights without Jordan had felt like lifetimes. I never got over him and cried too much. If it weren’t for my kids, I don’t know what I would have done.
When Jordan came home, my mother agreed to keep the kids for a weekend so that Jordan and I could spend some time together alone. I had this whole extravagant hotel getaway planned, but Jordan assured me that he just wanted to spend time with me alone. He lit some candles, played some old school R&B, poured us some wine, and ran us a warm bubble bath. Jordan climbed into the tub and held out his hand for me to climb in behind him. As he held me, I cried. It had been so long since I had felt his arms around me. I was overwhelmed. Jordan didn’t say anything, he just held me, but I could tell that he was crying too.
“No more crying. I’ve cried enough,” I said, trying to manage a laugh.
“No more crying,” Jordan agreed, as he wiped my tears. Jordan kissed me on the forehead and held me tighter. “You are so beautiful.”
“So are you,” I told him. He laughed, but I was serious. Jordan was just as beautiful as ever; the most beautiful man I had ever known. “I would have waited a million years for you, if I had to.”
“I would have never let you wait that long for me. If I ever have to do over five years, I want you to move on,” Jordan told me. I looked at him like he was crazy.
“You better never get locked up again, that’s number one. Number two, absolutely not. I refuse. No,” I said stubbornly.
“Well, if you ever get locked up--“
“Nobody is getting locked up!” I snapped, splashing him with soapy water. I slid my slippery body up and down the length of his body. Jordan had been hard this whole time. As soon as I had undressed to get in the tub, he had been hard. I was surprised he was being so patient.
“I learned a lot of patience these past three years,” he told me, with a smile. I clasped my hands together as though to pray.
“Thank goodness! You used to be so impatient!” I laughed.
“I’ve done a lot of growing up,” he said. I grabbed his penis firmly in my fist.
“I can tell.” I climbed out of the tub, soap all over my body and walked over to the door, looking over my shoulder at him. With one finger, I motioned for him to follow me. I didn’t wait to see if he did, before I started walking away, but I could hear the slosh of bath water as he climbed out of the tub. When Jordan walked into the bedroom, I pushed him onto the bed, but he rolled and pulled me on top of him.
He held me tight, pressing soft, warm kisses on any part of my body he could reach. I giggled as I fought to escape. Eventually, he let me escape and I walked over to the dresser to grab the coconut oil. He laughed.
“I’ve missed you and your coconut oil,” he told me. I grinned.
“Lay down,” I instructed. Jordan shook his head standing up.
“No, no, no. You lay down. You are the one who deserves to be pampered, like the Queen that you are,” he said. I wasn’t going to argue with that logic. I lay down on the bed, on my stomach and Jordan crouched over me. He scooped out some of the coconut oil and rubbed it between his palms, before massaging my back.
I lay my head on my arms and closed my eyes, my body tingling everywhere Jordan touched me. He rubbed my shoulders, my arms, my neck, my back, my butt, my thighs, and my feet. I could be rubbed by Jordan forever. It felt so good I feared I might fall asleep. Just when I was about to, I felt Jordan’s mouth on my big toe. I squirmed and moaned as energy shot through my body and up between my legs.
Jordan sucked each toe, licking slowly between them, sending shivers up my spine. I rolled over onto my back to watch him as he watched me. He licked the arches of my feet and kissed my ankles, making his way up my long legs, kissing as he went. He kissed the tender flesh of my inner thighs, suckling softly and making me quiver. I ran my fingers through his soft beautiful hair, watching him lovingly. Jordan teased me, kissing me everywhere except where I wanted. I was so wet. Jordan slid his warm, wet mouth around my clit, licking it gently, and I cried out in ecstasy. It had been so long, Lord knows it had been too long! I had to resist shoving his face harder and deeper between my legs. I could be patient too. Jordan licked and sucked, fucking me with his tongue.
Jordan slid his hands under my ass and lifted me with ease, licking between my butt cheeks and teasing my butthole. His tongue ventured from my pussy to my asshole and then back again. “Oh, my God baby yes!” I screamed, as I started grinding my pussy into his face. It felt so good to lose control. To let Jordan take control. He knew my body, he knew what I liked and did it just how I liked it. This was my soul mate. He slid his thick finger into my ass and sucked until I came all over his mouth. I grind into him and he licked and sucked every drop of me. He moaned through it all.
Jordan was so hard, it looked painful. I almost laughed, but didn’t want to kill the mood. All I really wanted was for him to be inside me. Jordan climbed on top of me.
He pressed himself above me with one arm and wrapped his other hand around his cock. I watched him stroke himself against my wet, swollen pussy lips. I spread my legs wider. “Baby.” I moaned. He watched between our bodies intently. He was gentle. I could tell that it was taking a lot for him not lose control.
“I can’t wait, I need you Nia.” Jordan rubbed against me and pushed into my pussy.
“Take what you need Jordan. I love you.” I told him as I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him deeper into my tight body. He fit like he was meant to be in there. We both started moving slow in long deep strokes. He felt so fucking good. Jordan looked me in the eyes the whole time he slid into me. We kissed slowly. Everything was slow. When he thrust into me, I thrust back against him. We danced the dance of lovers.
Jordan started to speed up, digging his fingers in and squeezing my hips and thrusting deeper. I ground up on him, rubbing my clit hard into his body. I was so turned on by his aggressive thrusting. It had been so long since I had felt him inside me.
“Mmm I’m gonna cum all over your big, hard dick baby. Fuck me harder.”
Jordan groaned loudly. “Oh yea baby. Give it to me. I want to feel your pussy clenching on my dick.” I lost control and we went from making love to fucking. My pussy fluttered, my clit contracted and I exploded all over his hard cock. It felt amazing to be full of him as my orgasm wracked my body. Every inch clenching around Jordan. He kept thrus
ting through my clenches. I felt his cock expanding inside me.
Jordan pulled out, and flipped me over so fast, I don’t think I felt a clench between thrusts. He slapped my ass as he lined his cock back up and slammed hard and deep into my pussy. It felt like he bottomed out. I groaned at how deep he was inside me. Thankful he pounded into me like that after my orgasm, or it could have been painful.
My ass clapped back against his abs as I arched my back, sticking my ass further up in the air. Jordan spanked me harder and I cried out. Jordan was an animal. He grabbed my hair and pulled, making my arch deepen. I kept my ass up and my head down and he thrust faster.
He groaned. “Love that ass clap. I’m cumming.” Jordan came long, and deep, and loud. I felt him pulsing and shooting inside me. “Mmm fuck yea, give me your cum,” I moaned to him. I loved when he came long and loud. I loved to hear him moan. It was so hot.
Jordan collapsed beside me, covered in sweat, breathing deeply.
“We probably have another baby on the way,” he said. We both laughed. We lay beside each other as our bodies cooled down and we caught our breath. Jordan grabbed my hand and played with my fingers. He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it. “I am a lucky man.”
“That you are,” I teased.
“I was a fool before,” he said. “I don’t ever want to see that man again.” I picked his hand up and kissed it.
“I fall in love with every man you become,” I told him. Jordan smiled.
“That was smooth,” he said. I laughed.
I smiled. “I’m a smooth operator.”
“That was corny, you should have just left well enough alone.” We both laughed. Jordan pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head.
“I look forward to the rest of our lives together. Now, let’s make another baby.”
I squealed with delight as Jordan climbed back on top of me. We kissed and Jordan slid back inside me. I never wanted him to leave. We made love until the sun came up and slept deep into the morning, like we used to do before the kids. When we awoke, we made love like we’d never see each other again, because in this life, you never know if you will.
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