by Peter Styles
I turned to see Jonah staring at me in surprise. “Holy shit,” he muttered. “I didn’t realize you’d be so…”
“Good?” I asked, grinning.
“Yeah,” he said. “I mean, no offense or anything. I’m definitely impressed. But I had no clue you even liked basketball.”
“Oh yeah. I love it. I used to go to Pistons games with my dad all the time,” I explained. I ran back down to the other side of the court, still playing through an imaginary game in my head. I made another shot and missed, but I ran to the ball and grabbed it back up before Jonah could even consider putting a hand on it. “I haven’t played in forever, but it’s still the greatest sport ever invented.”
“You mean other than jiu jitsu,” he corrected.
I snorted. “That’s not a sport.” I went for another shot and fist-pumped when it went in. “Now this? This is a sport! Being all alone on the court, having people all around you but barely even noticing them…” I sank another two-point shot. “Hearing the crowd cheering for you…” I bounced the ball between Jonah’s legs and darted around him quick enough to snatch it back up. “Having a whole team to rely on but knowing that it’s still about you pushing yourself and being your best…” I sank a three-pointer, and I turned to Jonah with a wild smile. “That’s a sport, man. It’s the ultimate sport.”
He just smiled at me. “I can see why you think so.”
“You can?”
“Yeah.” He held out his hands and I passed him the ball. He fumbled for a moment, then started clumsily dribbling. “You know, it’s really nice to see you getting so intense about something.”
“Yeah?” I laughed. “I think most people would prefer it if I was a little less intense about most things, honestly.”
“That’s not because you’re intense,” he reassured me. “That’s because you’re a dick.”
I laughed and ended up missing my next shot because of it. “Fuck you,” I said, but it was playful. “I’m serious though.” I passed the ball to him and watched him make another pitiful attempt at making a basket. “A lot of people think I’m too much, it seems. At least, that’s always been the impression I’ve gotten.”
“I don’t think so,” he said, and the sheer honesty of it was kind in and of itself. “I like that about you. You’re passionate. And it’s really cool to see you get passionate about something. You get that way about comics sometimes, but… I don’t know. This seems different, somehow.”
“It is.” His slow, awkward dribbling became too painful for me to watch, so I snatched the ball away from him and made another basket. “Comics was always something I shared with other people, you know? It’s like it wasn’t really mine. Basketball, though… That was all me. All of this felt like it was made for me.”
“But basketball is a group sport.”
“Yeah, I’m aware. But it’s not like I ever hung out with my team or anything.”
“Why not?”
I shrugged and decided not to answer. I couldn’t think of a good enough lie.
We played around for a while, with Jonah constantly fumbling the ball and me running circles around him. I felt good. I felt free. I was excited to be back on the court without feeling the usual swell of panic. Jonah seemed to be helping me keep that down.
At least, he was until I was dribbling and I felt him press up against my back, trying to guard me from the basket.
I dropped the ball almost instantly and cringed away from him as if I’d been burned. He reached out a hand to see if I was alright, but I just moved back again. “Don’t,” I said, my voice tight. “Please don’t touch me right now.”
All I could think of were other bodies pressing against my back, my face against the floor, and laughter echoing all across the room…
“Harris.” Jonah’s soft voice brought the real world back into focus, at least for enough time for me to set my sights on him instead. “Hey, listen to me. What’s going on?”
I was dimly aware of the fact that I was shaking. Very, very gently, he put a hand on my elbow and steered me toward the bleachers, depositing me on the bottom step and sitting beside me. “What’s wrong?” he murmured. “Talk to me.”
I took a deep, shaky breath. I wanted to brush it off and say that nothing had happened, but I couldn’t. The lie had gotten too big, and there was no way he was going to believe it after what had just happened.
I had to tell him the truth.
Fuck.
“Something… happened,” I said, trying to find a good place to start my story. “When I was in high school.” When I realized he wasn’t going to accept that as a full answer, I continued. “When I was in high school, I played on the basketball team. It was great, at least at first. The other guys didn’t exactly love me, but I was used to that. I was just excited to be able to play in an official capacity and I did really, really well. It wasn’t long before I was the star of the team.
“But then one night…” I took a deep breath. “One night we lost. Really bad. And because I was the MVP of our team, they all blamed me. They all hated me to begin with. They hated that they kept getting shown up by this scrawny little gay guy with a big mouth, and they decided they were going to teach me a lesson after we screwed up our chance to go to nationals.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. I could still visualize the locker room at my high school, still smell the scent of chlorine wafting in from the pool and taste water and my own blood as the showers ran, lukewarm, over my back and my bloodied nose. “I thought they were just going to beat the hell out of me. I didn’t even imagine they would take it further. They cornered me in the showers, and they…” My voice broke. I didn’t want to say it. Lucky for me, Jonah’s face told me he knew exactly what I’d meant.
“Jesus,” he breathed. “I’m so sorry, Harris. I never would have guessed.”
“Well, that was the idea. They kept my name out of all the news reports. They don’t give out the names of victims a lot of times, especially minors. The school was getting enough bad publicity for letting something like that happen on campus that they didn’t want everyone at whatever school I landed in next to know about it. Some of them were smart enough to figure it out, like Gary and Christy. Gary just put all the pieces together, and Christy… She just recognized it in me, I guess. Her mom had brought home enough dirt-bag boyfriends for her to understand what I was going through. Neither of them ever treated me any differently though.”
“That’s why you’re so attached to Gary.” Jonah’s voice filled with understanding. “That’s what kept you two together for so long; he knew what had happened to you.” He shook his head. “I feel like such an asshole. I was worried that you just liked him more, or something equally immature, but—”
I cut him off. My stomach felt as though I’d just swallowed a cup full of ice. “What do you mean, ‘kept us together?’” I asked, quietly.
He blinked, his face assuming a neutral mask. “Hm?”
“You just said it kept us together,” I repeated. “You were talking about me and Gary. What do you mean by ‘together?’”
He shrugged. “Well, you know. Like friends.”
I narrowed my eyes. The wording didn’t make sense and he damn well knew it. Something was wrong. “No. You meant something bigger than that, didn’t you? You meant a relationship. A real one.”
His eyes shifted focus almost imperceptibly, but it was enough that we were no longer making eye contact. “Okay,” he admitted, voice flat, “I did.”
“And how did you know?”
He shrugged. He still wasn’t looking at me. “I guessed.”
“You didn’t. You couldn’t have.” I frowned. “The two of you never even met, so how would you have figured that?”
“Yes we—” He stopped midsentence, his jaw snapping shut.
My heart started to race. “You haven’t met. How could you have? The only person you have in common is me, and I definitely haven’t introduced you.”
“It was at the store.�
�� Somehow, the phrase just didn’t have the cadence of a lie. I knew he was telling the truth, even if it was only a portion of it.
“You haven’t been to the store.”
Finally, he met my eyes. I looked into the deep, swirling darkness there. I felt his eyes scanning me, burning into me.
Reading my soul.
“No way,” I breathed. I could feel the room spinning wildly around me. “No way-- you’re him. You’re the Shadow Hunter.”
Jonah bowed his head, but whether it was in acknowledgment or shame I couldn’t tell. All I could do was try to piece together the facts.
It made sense, thinking about it. They were both roughly the same size, though it had been impossible to tell the Shadow Hunter’s exact body shape under his armor. They were both incredibly strong. When I thought back to what little I’d seen of the fight at the shop, I recognized a few moves, including the one he’d used to toss me like a ragdoll. My connection to him had always felt stronger than something I’d formed through texts and a couple of jiu jitsu classes, and now I knew why: he was the dark and mysterious stranger that had saved my store and, quite possibly, my life. He’d stopped the robbers from forcing me to relive the worst experience of my life.
But instead of saying any of that, I just said, “So you watched me have sex. Like a week ago.”
He blushed scarlet. I hadn’t realized there was anything that could embarrass him so intensely, but I’d managed to find it. “Yes,” he said, trying to sound calm. “I did.”
“Was it… on purpose?” I felt stupid for focusing on it, but it was all I could think about. It had been all I was thinking about for the past week, anyway, and now I was suddenly able to get some answers.
“Which part?”
“What do you mean, which part?” I asked, baffled. “The part where you jerked it while watching me have sex!”
“I really don’t see how I could have accidentally jerked off,” he said, slightly impatient.
“I don’t either,” I said, “but it must have been some kind of freak accident, because otherwise it’s really, really weird that you wouldn’t tell me!” I surprised even myself when I started yelling. I hadn’t realized I was so bothered by this.
But I was.
Maybe it was because, for the past week, he’d been avoiding me as the Shadow Hunter, choosing to watch me from across the street and the parking lot rather than actually coming up to speak to me. His presence had become more stressful than comforting, and I’d been terrified that I’d fucked up by putting on a show for him like I had.
I hadn’t been the one who fucked up. I wasn’t the reason he had freaked out. He had freaked himself out by watching and not knowing how to tell me that he had done it.
He cleared his throat. “Are you… mad?”
“I honestly have no idea,” I admitted. “I mean, I was fine with you watching. Or at least, I was fine with the Shadow Hunter watching. Although I guess I would have been fine with it if I knew it was you, but it would have been significantly weirder if I’d looked outside and seen a regular man in a gi standing on a roof.”
He nodded slowly. “I’m trying really hard to understand how you’re feeling right now.”
“Join the fucking club, pal,” I snapped. I frowned, thinking hard. “I mean, I think I’m pissed at you, I just can’t figure out why.”
“If I had to put my finger on it, it would have to be the masturbation thing.”
I jumped off the bleachers and glared down at him. He just stared up at me, confused. “I’m confused,” he said and, even though I was angry, I knew that that was a pretty fair emotion for him to be feeling. “You’re not mad about me pleasuring myself while watching you have sex through your window while I stood on top of a roof. But you’re mad at me about… what?”
“The conversation we had in the car first!” I barked, and I gave him a light slap on the shoulder, just enough to sting. He yelped and looked deeply offended. “You fucking jackass! First of all, you couldn’t just, I don’t know, tell me personal things about you outside of the context of us discussing my sex life?”
“Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best moment, but—”
“But more importantly,” I interrupted, fuming, “you just sat there and let me look like a total dick while I spilled a bunch of secrets about my romantic life!”
“You were just telling me things!” he argued, holding up his hands with faux innocence. “I wasn’t trying to force anything!”
“Yeah, but here’s the issue,” I snapped. “Everything I was telling you about my romantic life was about you! And you just… let me tell you everything!” I gave a snarl of disgust. “And then you gave me actual advice, telling me to date the guy I was into, which was you!”
There were several moments of silence and finally Jonah said, “Okay, yes. That might have been kind of wrong.”
“Kind of?!”
“Okay! It was very wrong and I’m sorry,” he said, but I was already storming toward the door. “Harris, where are you going?”
“I’m going somewhere where creeps aren’t going to manipulate me!” I barked. But, even as I walked out, I couldn’t say for sure whether or not I was making the right choice, or even if I was angry at the right person.
Chapter Thirteen
“Okay,” I said, “next one. You guys ready?”
“Hit me,” Gary said, confidently.
“This is going to be the one,” Leonard said. “I can feel it.”
I admired his pride, but I knew he was overestimating himself. Leonard was terrible at the What Are You Buying game. Both of them were really. They paid very little attention to anything that happened in the shop that didn’t directly affect them, so they didn’t usually notice what other customers even looked like, much less what they were buying.
“Alright.” I cleared my throat and thought back to customers that had come in over the past few days. “Girl, mid-to-late teens, bad dye job and an Emily the Strange t-shirt.”
“Oof.” Gary thought for a second. “My gut is telling me she went straight for the manga.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” I reminded him.
He frowned in concentration. “I’m going to say either Naruto or Fruit’s Basket.”
“Not terrible guesses,” I admitted. “Leonard?”
“Oh, this one is a slam dunk,” he said confidently, seemingly forgetting that he said that before every wrong answer he gave. “I’m going to say she came in to pick up… oh… Suicide Squad comics.”
“Nice guess,” I admitted. “Both of you are wrong, but Leonard, you’re actually less wrong, for a change. She came in to buy a set of Joker and Harley Quinn Pop figures from the Suicide Squad movie.”
“Dammit!” Leonard said, frustrated. “I was so close.”
“Ugh, fuck, I completely forgot about the Pop figure obsession!” Gary complained. “I should have known.”
“Yeah, you were thinking about the kind of goth and emo girls we went to school with, not the kind that are running around high schools right now,” I reminded him. “Wannabe goths don’t read manga anymore. You need to keep up.”
“You’re right,” he said. “Shit.”
“Okay,” I said. “That one was a little bit tricky, but this one is going to be way harder.”
“Oh, yippee,” Leonard grumbled under his breath.
I concentrated, thinking of as many different attributes of the customer in mind as I could. “Let’s see. Tall, early sixties, beer gut, wearing flannel, chewing some dip and hands covered in actual, literal dirt.”
“Ha! I know this one!” Gary said, triumphantly. “I’m going to say he didn’t buy anything, but came in to try to sell you some old baseball cards!”
“I’m going to guess he wanted to know how much an old, ripped-up issue of Star Trek is worth,” Leonard guessed.
“Wow, both really strong guesses,” I admitted. “But that one goes to Gary. He absolutely tried to sell me some old baseball c
ards.”
“But why?” Leonard asked, while Gary fist-pumped wildly. “There’s no sports paraphernalia in the entire store. There are no signs saying that you welcome it. You even have a sign behind the counter that says, ‘Will not buy old baseball cards.’ Why do they keep doing it?”
“People do crazy things when they’re on meth,” I said, simply. “It’s a hell of a drug. Ready for another one?”
“Shoot,” Gary said.
“Okay. Man, blonde, balding, early thirties, a too-small TMNT shirt, sweatpants with a mustard stain and a wallet with Aquaman on it.”
Gary laughed so hard he slid off of his chair. “Oh, man,” Leonard muttered to himself. “Hm. I’m going to say…” He snapped his fingers. “Weird anime porn statue!”
I couldn’t help myself; I burst out laughing too. I huddled over my laptop, nearly in tears. “What?” Leonard asked. “Was I right?”
I shook my head. I was laughing so hard that I’d stopped making any noise, instead just doubled over with phantom cackles.
Gary wiped his eyes and righted himself in his chair. “He’s talking about you, you fucking idiot!” he choked. “Jesus, Len, you came in wearing exactly that three days ago! Do you have fucking amnesia?”
“What? No!” Leonard looked outraged. “I am not balding!”
“You might want to tell your bald spot that,” I gasped, and both Gary and I redoubled with howls of laughter.
Leonard sank down in his chair, crossing his arms and glaring.
I blinked, managing at last to clear my eyes of tears of mirth. I checked the clock. “Oh, man.” I took a deep, steadying breath. “What a great note to go out on for the day, huh?”
“For sure.” Gary was almost panting from laughter. “God, Len, you’re such a moron.”
“Blow me,” Leonard growled, and I let out another snicker.
All of us left at the same time, which I was grateful for. It had been a few days since I blew up at Jonah, and I wasn’t sure if he was looking out for me or not. I got the feeling he was; part of it was that it sometimes seemed I could feel those searching eyes on me, and part of it was that I just couldn’t bring myself to believe he would leave me to the dogs, even if I’d been the one to be difficult in the first place. It just wasn’t like him; it wasn’t who he was. His entire life was about protecting people, and I doubted he was just going to let that go because I’d yelled at him once.