‘Hi Dee.’ He hugged me.
‘Sorry I’m late.’
‘Only a minute or two. Doesn’t matter. I just bumped into Lorna.’
‘Who is she?’ I tried my best to disguise my jealousy.
‘One of Eric’s girlfriends.’ Larry rolled his eyes.
‘How many does he have?’
‘Too many. Lorna was trying to find out what he’d been up to and why he hadn’t contacted her.’
‘Oh.’ Relief washed over me.
‘I really don’t understand where he finds the time to juggle all those ditsy girls. One girlfriend is enough for me.’ It was the first time he had referred to me, as that and I loved how it sounded.
I was someone’s girlfriend.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ he continued, ‘it’s about time you met my family.’ I was horrified and thrilled all at the same time. ‘Why don’t you come over for Sunday lunch? My ma does a good roast.’
‘If you think it’s OK.’
‘OK? I’ve told them all about you. They’re dying to meet my mystery woman.’
‘OK then. That sounds nice.’
‘Great. I’ll tell Ma to set another place at the table. She’s going to be so excited.’
This was a big step. It was huge. I was going to meet his family. My stomach filled with butterflies.
‘Now,’ he put his arm around my shoulder and started to guide me away from the café, ‘I want to buy my girl something to wear for the special occasion. We want you looking your best.’ Was he really suggesting we went clothes shopping? I hated the idea but remained silent as he led me by the hand towards the shopping centre. ‘Come on, look, Topshop has a summer sale.’
I had never been clothes shopping with anyone other than my mum and certainly never somewhere like Topshop before.
‘I don’t know.’ I freed my hand from his and stopped outside. ‘I don’t think it’s really me.’
‘Sure it is. Just come in and have a look. If you don’t see anything you like we won’t buy anything.’ His boyish enthusiasm was hard to refuse.
‘OK. Just looking.’
When we entered the shop we were subjected to loud music blasted out of speakers on the wall. David Bowie’s ‘China Girl’ filled the air. The room was filled with racks of clothes all hanging neatly. It was so colourful. So unlike what I was used to. Gaggles of girls stood fingering through the clothes. They all looked like adverts for the store. I stood out like a sore thumb in my Woolworths uniform. One or two of them looked at me with disdain.
‘Over here,’ Larry called out. He was standing holding a pink dress with puffy arms and frilly skirt. I’d never seen anything like it. ‘What about this?’
‘No, I couldn’t.’ The idea of it was horrible.
‘Too much?’ he examined the dress.
‘Just a bit.’ I didn’t want to be rude but there was no way I was going to wear something like that.
‘OK. So we keep looking,’ he hung the dress back on the rack. ‘Seen anything you like?’
‘Not so far.’
‘Let’s keep looking.’
I followed him around the shop as he picked up clothes that I continued to reject until finally I spotted something bearable.
‘This is nice.’ I held up a plain white cropped T-shirt.
‘OK.’ He didn’t sound convinced. ‘I suppose that’s a start.’
I clung on to the top for dear life hoping that the shopping trip would now end. But it didn’t.
Larry went over to a row of shelves on the wall and removed a pair of denim shorts with frayed hems. They looked very similar to the ones Lorna had been wearing.
‘These would be perfect with the tee.’ He held them up against me.
‘They look a bit small.’ Shame hit me like a fist to the face.
‘So, find them in your size.’ He wasn’t going to take no for an answer so I went through the pile until I found a pair of size 14. It was the largest size they had.
‘Are you going to try them on?’
‘No!’ the idea of going into the changing room was terrifying. ‘I’m sure they will fit. I can always bring them back if they don’t.’
‘OK.’ He was looking at the price tags. He had offered to pay but I wondered if he really meant it. Too embarrassed to ask I opened my rucksack and searched for my brown purse.
‘Don’t be silly. Put it away,’ he said, dismissing it with a gesture. ‘It’s my treat.’
Grateful but unaware of how to show it, I put my purse back into my bag.
‘Now, to the shoes.’ Larry marched over to the display at the back of the shop.
I had never seen so many shoes before. There were heels in all shapes and sizes. I’d never worn stilettoes before and didn’t plan on starting any time soon. Luckily he made his way over to the sneakers. He picked up a pair of bright white ones with pink laces.
‘These are perfect.’ Larry held them out for me to inspect.
‘Not really me.’ I refused to take them.
‘Nonsense. They will be perfect with the outfit. What size do you wear?’
‘Six.’ I didn’t have the energy or the inclination to disagree.
Larry approached a girl wearing a nametag who was picking at her nail varnish.
‘I’ll take these in a size six.’
I watched as the girl disappeared into the back of the shop to fetch the shoes and it occurred to me that the shoes were a lot like the ones Lorna had been wearing. Just like the shorts.
Larry paid, handed me the bag and we left the shop. My stomach was rumbling since we hadn’t had lunch. My sandwich was sitting in my rucksack getting warm.
‘Right. Next.’ He checked his Casio wristwatch.
‘Next?’
‘Come with me. I’ve got a surprise for you.’
I followed him through the shopping centre and back out on to Sidney Street. We passed Woolworths and continued on to Bridge Street. The sky was even darker and the rain was imminent.
Larry stopped outside a hairdresser’s and held his arms out. ‘Surprise!’
I didn’t understand.
‘I’ve booked you an appointment to have your hair done.’ He must have seen the look of horror on my face. ‘You looked so lovely the other day, with your hair back, I thought maybe it was time for a change. You are so pretty, Dee. You don’t know how pretty you are. I think a haircut is just what you need to help you make the most of yourself.’ He brushed my frizzy hair back off my forehead. ‘A new style will make you feel like a new woman.’
He held the door open and I stepped in. The smell of flowery shampoo filled my nostrils. Larry approached the desk.
‘Dee has appointment for twelve-fifty.’
‘Yes, that’s right.’ The receptionist said checking her diary. ‘With Lucy. Please take a seat.’
I went over to row of chairs and sat at the end. Larry came and sat beside me.
‘I really don’t think I can afford it Larry.’ The panic was beginning to set in. ‘I don’t get paid until the end of the month.’
‘My treat, I said.’ He rubbed his trousers with the palms of his hand then picked up a magazine that was lying on the small coffee table. He flicked through before stopping on a page and showing me the picture. ‘What do you think?’
There was a photograph of a pop star I vaguely recognised.
‘Very nice.’ I didn’t really understand what he meant.
‘Good. We’ll tell Lucy that’s what you want: a Sheena Easton.’ He put the magazine down, open, on the chair next to him, folded his arms and sat back.
‘You mean the hair?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Oh, I’m not sure,’ I felt like I was losing control.
‘You’ll look great. We’ll ask her to dye it to. Would you rather go darker or blonde?’
‘Um,’ I’d never thought of dying my hair and wasn’t sure I was ready to do so then. ‘It’s
just a bit shorter than I normally like.’ I referred back to the photograph of the pop singer’s cropped hairstyle.
‘Change is good. Otherwise you’re always just standing still.’ He always used to say that.
Before I could object Lucy appeared and guided me over to a chair. Larry followed casually holding the magazine. I sat obediently down in front of the mirror. Lucy, standing behind, smiled at me in the reflection.
‘So what can I do for you today?’ She was chewing gum.
‘That.’ Larry held the picture out to show her. ‘Just like that.’
‘Oh lovely.’ Lucy was lifting first one section of my hair and then another. She nodded. ‘I love it when a client comes in who wants a new look.’
‘I’m not sure it’s really me.’
‘I think it will really suit the shape of her face.’ Lucy continued paying no attention to my objection. ‘Are you wanting to dye it?’
‘Yes.’ Larry was standing next to her and smiling at me in the mirror. I didn’t want to disappoint him.
‘Yes.’ I echoed.
‘What colour would you suggest?’ he asked the hairdresser.
‘Nothing too dark. Maybe a few highlights here and there.’ Lucy had her head tipped to one side.
‘What about blonde?’ Larry looked eager.
‘Yes, that could work.’
I sat in silence while the two of them discussed what should be done to my hair. It made me feel foolish, not being included in the talk. Larry had never made me feel like that before. As if sensing my disappointment Larry interrupted Lucy, who was suggesting maybe auburn would suit me.
‘What do you think Dee?’ he smiled at me and squatted down so that his face was level with mine. ‘What do you want?’
‘I think blonde would be good,’ I suggested hoping that would please him.
‘Blonde it is.’ Larry stood up. ‘Right, I’ll leave you girls to it. I’ll see you back here in…’ he checked his watch.
‘Give us until two-fifteen.’ Lucy said fighting with a tangle in my hair.
‘But work! I’m meant to be back at one-thirty.’ There was no disguising the panic in my voice.
‘I’ll go in and tell them you went home because you didn’t feel well. Relax, it will be fine.’ Larry turned and sauntered out before I had a chance to disagree. Before I knew it Lucy had my head in a sink and was energetically washing my hair. After she had lathered my head in shampoo and conditioner she wrapped a small blue towel tightly around my dripping wet scalp and led me back to my chair.
While she disappeared off to fetch one product or other I removed the newspaper from my rucksack and started to read the main story.
BODY OF WOMAN FOUND IN RIVER
In the river by Stourbridge Common, dog walker made the grim discovery of a body in the early hours of the morning, the Cambridge Evening News can reveal.
A massive police investigation was launched after the body of the woman was found at the site to the east of the city.
The dead woman’s identity has not been released, but our sources say she worked in a shop in the city centre.
Detectives set up a major crime scene and scoured woods in the area.
It is believed they were looking for a weapon after finding several wounds on the body.
The site was cordoned off during the investigation, with walkers and cyclists arriving at the site to use the paths being turned away.
Police spent hours at the site and it remains un-opened after officers declared the death was suspicious.
The Cambridgeshire force has contacted the victim’s next of kin.
A police spokesman said: ‘The body of a woman was found by a man who was walking his dogs at the time. The death is being treated as suspicious and we are advising the public to remain vigilant.’ The force spokesman added that detectives would conduct a thorough investigation and were asking anyone with information to come forward.
I folded the newspaper and sat back stunned, thinking of the people I’d seen working in Freeman’s.
By the time Lucy had finished with me I didn’t recognise myself. For the first time ever I looked my age. I stared at the girl with the peroxide hair staring back at me.
‘Do you like it?’ Lucy asked holding a mirror up to show me the back of my head.
‘Yes.’ I really wasn’t sure.
‘We’ve got some really nice products that will help to keep it lovely and soft. Helps with the frizz. We sell make-up too, if you’re interested.’ I got the hint.
She removed the cape from my shoulders and blew the last remaining hairs from my neck.
‘Just go over to reception to pay.’ It was the most she had said to me since Larry left. I’d sat static in the chair pretending to read a gossip magazine so I could avoid eye contact and didn’t have to watch the chunks of my hair falling to the floor.
‘Thank you.’ I picked up my rucksack and went over to reception, avoiding looking in any of the numerous mirrors.
Larry was already there, leaning on the desk talking to the receptionist.
‘WOW!’ He stopped and let his mouth hang open. ‘You look incredible.’
‘You like it?’ I touched my hair self-consciously and shuffled on the spot.
‘Love it.’ He held his arms out and beckoned me. I did as I was told but felt uncomfortable with the public display of affection. ‘Right, what’s the damage?’ he asked turning back towards the till and removing his battered leather wallet from his back pocket.
Embarrassed that Larry was paying for me again, I moved towards the door to wait for him. I didn’t want to know how much it cost.
‘Come on you,’ he slipped his arm around my waist, ‘let’s go before it starts to bucket down.’
Once outside we headed for shelter. The rain had just started to fall and the black clouds looked angrier than ever.
‘Bloody miserable. Thought it was meant to be the summer.’ He chuckled pulling me down so that I was half sitting on his lap in the bus stop.
‘Thank you for today.’
‘You’re very welcome. I can’t wait to see you in your new outfit.’ I felt something hard digging into the back of my leg and froze. Larry felt me stiffen and adjusted his erection.
‘What time shall I come to lunch on Sunday?’ The words fell out of my mouth fast as I tried desperately to lighten the awkwardness I felt.
‘About one will do. But I’ll check with Ma.’
‘Will your dad be there?’ I thought it strange he rarely spoke about his father.
‘Should be.’
We stayed in the bus shelter for a while until the worst of the rain subsided. I kept looking around nervously, terrified that someone from work might see me and tell Stuart that I was bunking off. I’d forgotten how different I looked. No one would have recognised me.
Above us the clouds crashed together and thunder echoed across the sky.
‘Let’s get out of here.’ Larry stood up. He was at least half a foot taller than me.
‘Where do you want to go?’
‘I’ve got a great idea. Come on.’ He led me through the rain and into the park. Water dripped down my neck and made me feel naked suddenly. ‘Over there,’ he indicated to the public toilets near the river, ‘you can try on your new clothes for me.’
By then I was tired and hungry. I hadn’t had any lunch and felt exhausted.
‘I’d rather try them on at home. You’ll see me in them on Sunday.’
‘Don’t be shy.’ He pulled me along the path eagerly towards the small public building.
‘I’m not sure.’
When we reached the toilets Larry pushed me up against the wall and started to kiss me. He put his tongue into my mouth and pressed his hand against my crotch. The feeling that ran through my body was something I had not experienced before. It felt good.
‘Now Dee, go in there and show me what a pretty girl you are.’
Breathlessly I
nodded and did what I was told.
When I went into the first cubicle I didn’t notice he was right behind me. He shoved me in and pushed the lock across the door.
The toilet was tiny and there was hardly room for the both of us.
‘Take off your dress.’ He ordered.
I was shivering all over and stood there unable to move. Then he got on to his knees and lifted my dress. He pulled my white cotton pants down and started to kiss my special place. The pleasure was so intense I thought I might faint.
When he had finished doing that he turned me round and bent me over the loo. I didn’t know what was happening but was powerless to resist.
‘Dee,’ he grunted. He ran his hand through my short hair as he thrust into me. I yelped but it only encouraged him.
Minutes later it was all over. He pulled his trousers up and left the cubicle. I sat down on the toilet in pain and in shock. Removing some tissue from its holder I wiped away the fluid that dripped down the inside of my thigh before pulling up my pants and straightening my clothes.
When I stepped out of the toilet I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The girl looking back at me wasn’t Deborah. Deborah was gone. Dee had taken her place.
July 24th 1983
Sunday came around quickly. I’d met Larry every day in between and we returned to the public toilets to practise. That’s what he called it.
After having sex we chatted like we always did. I recounted the reaction Dawn and my Dad had to my radical new haircut. Dad nearly dropped his beer. It was almost funny.
‘What on earth you done to your barnet?’ He wiped the froth from his moustache with the back of his sleeve and I was reminded of my favourite book as a child; The Twits.
‘Do you like it?’ I knew I would regret asking the question.
‘Like it? You look like a toilet brush.’
Dawn’s reaction wasn’t much better. ‘Why did you do it? It’s not very you,’ she said applying her lipstick in our bedroom mirror.
The Optician’s Wife: a compelling new psychological thriller Page 5