by Tasha Fawkes
Sarah had already set the table for breakfast for Kelli and me. She was quite handy to have around. I moved toward the refrigerator but stopped abruptly at the sight of Sarah standing on the other side of the countertop, screwing the nipple on to a bottle filled with formula.
She startled and gasped, almost dropping the bottle, and lifted her free hand to her throat.
"Sorry about that," I said, my gaze sweeping over tousled hair draped over her smooth shoulders, the spaghetti straps of her clingy pajama top emphasizing the mounds of her breasts. My cock twitched. At any second, I was going to be guilty of standing in the kitchen in my underwear goggling at the nanny.
I turned, reached into the refrigerator, grabbed a box of orange juice and lifted it to my mouth, guzzling. The cold liquid ran down my throat, cooling me a degree. I swallowed and winked at Sarah, whispering, "Don't tell Kelli. It's a pet peeve of hers."
Sarah merely stared, her eyes sweeping from my face, down my chest, and then farther downward before coming back again. There was a surprising tightening in my belly and my dick wiggled with interest, and I covered my reaction by taking another gulp of orange juice, holding it in my mouth several seconds until I swallowed. My composure restored, I folded the top of the carton back and replaced the box in the fridge.
I didn't know why I just stood there, letting her look her fill, but I couldn't help the surge of pleasure that raced through me as her gaze lingered on my chest. I was practically naked and I wasn't quite sure what to do about it. I wanted to act casual. After all, this was my house. If I wanted to walk around naked, I would. Besides, she wasn't seeing anything more than she would have if I'd been wearing swimming trunks and taking a dip in the pool. Still, the flush of color in her cheeks, the tight way she swallowed, and the slight flutter of her fingers as she quickly lifted her hand to play with a wedge of hair caused my heart to accelerate.
"You're up early," I said, then paused and barely held back a grimace. What a stupid thing to say. Obviously, she was making breakfast for Ethan. "He sleep okay?"
She nodded. "He always does. I think he was sleeping through the night at about two weeks old, maybe into his third week."
I nodded, then thought about what she’d said. "So, have you been a nanny for Kelli since the beginning? Since she delivered?"
She hesitantly nodded. "It was pretty early on," she replied, still not moving.
We stared at each other for several moments. She could've turned and left the kitchen, but she didn't. Finally, I grinned. "Are you always an early riser, or is it just because you got up to feed Ethan?"
It didn’t matter, not in the least, but if I wanted to continue to stand here, watching the way her cheeks flushed with color, ever deeper as she tried to keep her gaze from dropping to my waist again, I had to say something. I felt a tinge of pride that she seemed to find my body so attractive. I supposed all the work I did in the gym — lifting free weights, sit-ups and crunches — had paid off. I did have an impressive six-pack. Her gaze jolted up from the area around my belly button and back to my face. The flash of color rising in her cheeks was adorable.
"What?" she said, twirling the bottle on the countertop. "Oh, no, I've always been an early riser."
"Me too," I said, casually crossing my arms over my chest and leaning my shoulder against the stainless-steel of the refrigerator. "I find that I'm much more focused in the morning, and I usually hit my limit about midafternoon."
She nodded, glanced down at the bottle, then back at me. "I would imagine that designing software takes a lot of focus and concentration. I couldn't do it."
I chuckled. "I don't think I could do what you do full time, that's for sure. You seem like a natural, like you've been taking care of babies all your life, but you're not that old." I belatedly realized how that sounded. "I didn't mean that to come across as a negative," I amended. "But you can't be… what, twenty-five, I'd guess?"
Her eyes widened in surprise. "How did you know? Kelli told you?"
I grinned and shook my head. "Nope. I've always been pretty good at guessing ages. I think I'm a pretty good judge of character too, and in my line of work, that's important." I shrugged. "But what I meant, with your level of comfort with taking care of Ethan, I can imagine that this isn't your first go as a nanny, is it?"
She smiled and was about to reply when there was the brush of fabric against my shoulder. I glanced to my side and found Kelli standing behind me eyeing Sarah with a threatening look. It was there for just an instant, and then she pasted on a smile and glanced up at me.
"Are you sneaking orange juice out of the carton again?"
I nodded, not sure how she knew. Was that jealousy I‘d seen in her gaze? I could tell by her body language, she didn't like what she’d seen. Was it the fact that Sarah was still in her pajamas? The fact that I was wearing only boxers? Or was it that we were talking pleasantly with one another?
“Good morning, dear.” I turned toward Sarah again, but with scarlet cheeks, she quickly excused herself and rushed out of the kitchen, saying she needed to feed Ethan.
Kelli looked me up and down, then raised her hand and placed it on my chest. A fingernail traced one of my nipples and then skimmed down my abdomen toward the waistband of my boxers.
"You shouldn't be wandering around naked, you know," she said, the silk of her wrap pressing against my side seductively.
I shrugged. "I didn't even think about it. The house was quiet and I thought everyone was sleeping."
She shook her head and swiped her hand across her forehead, tucking a wisp of hair behind her ears. I watched as she stepped to the opposite counter and reached into the cupboard for the bag of coffee. Her back to me, she prepared it and turned on the coffee maker, her shoulders held stiff, her back straight.
"Besides, I'm not naked,” I said to tease, sort of, but she said nothing. I didn't care for the disapproval from her, the annoyance as she raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest, emphasizing the size of her breasts.
"Close to it." She gestured with her chin toward the nursery and lowered her voice. "She's my nanny, Joel. I think this is her first time as a live-in nanny. Let's not scare her off, hmm?"
I frowned. "I have no intention of frightening her off," I said. "But this is my house, and I don't want to have to think twice before I venture from my bedroom at the crack of dawn. Which begs the question, what are you doing up so early?"
She faked a smile, shrugged. "I reached over to you and you weren't there. I thought you were in your office working." Another shrug. "I know this takeover business has got you stressed, but I hope you're not pushing yourself too hard."
The coffee machine gurgled as we gazed at one another. I wasn't sure if I believed her, but what else could it be? She couldn't possibly feel threatened by Sarah, could she? Then again, it was Sarah who took care of Ethan more often than not, even when we were all home. I wondered about that, then felt stupid for standing here in my underwear wondering if my girlfriend was jealous of the nanny when she’d just expressed concern for me.
Kelli turned to open the cupboards and pulled out two mugs. Poured coffee in both, then turned to me, handing me a cup while she cradled the other in her hands.
I decided to spit it out. "Kelli, are you having trouble adjusting to motherhood?"
She had just taken a sip of coffee and coughed lightly. "What?" she managed, wincing as she quickly swallowed.
"I've just noticed that sometimes you seem hesitant to hold Ethan or take care of him… like changing his diaper or soothing him when he's crying. I'm just wondering, are you having trouble adjusting? I can imagine that it's quite—"
"I'm not having trouble adjusting, Joel," she replied. "And I have a busy work schedule, as you know. Sarah is a godsend. I don't know what I'd do without her. You know my work takes me away and I can be gone for days on photo shoots." She glanced down at her bare feet and toenails painted a sleek pale pink, then looked back up.
There was a glimmer of unce
rtainty in her posture as she shrugged once again. I waited. She wanted to say more, I could tell.
"Maybe I am a little bit nervous around him," she admitted. "Sarah seems to have a knack for doing all the right things for Ethan, and he rarely cries when she's holding him. I can't say the same for me."
Her comment made sense. I took a step toward her, placed a hand on her silk-covered shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Just give it time. You'll get the hang of it. But until then, let's keep Sarah around. Sound like a plan?"
She glanced over her shoulder down the hallway and then back at me, her eyebrows lifted as she sipped her coffee. "Sounds like a plan," she echoed, then slipped past me and disappeared down the hall.
I stayed in the kitchen for several more minutes, sipping my coffee, then strolled out into the family room, looking through the windows at the blue shimmer of the pool. I couldn't get the sight of Sarah in her pajamas out of my head. Just a simple tank top with spaghetti straps, but a tank top that fit snugly, emphasizing her breasts, her pale creamy shoulders, the muscle tone in her upper arms. The top also emphasized her narrow waist and flaring hips. Though she wasn't quite as lean as Kelli, she had a figure that tightened my groin and, oddly enough, prompted a surge of desire.
Perhaps not odd. I was a man and she was a woman. But until I saw her standing across the counter like that, I’d never thought of her in that way. Kelli was right. She was her nanny. Our nanny. Still, that didn't make her any less attractive. In addition to her pretty features and a nice body, I also found myself attracted to Sarah's spirit, her confidence, and her abilities. Would I act on it? No. I needed Sarah. Kelli needed Sarah. Ethan needed her most of all. The thought of Kelli trying to care for the baby full time prompted me to frown. She wasn't ready. With my involvement at work, the extra hours I'd need to be putting in until this takeover mess was over meant we both would be counting on Sarah to be there for Ethan. She didn’t need the distraction of knowing I’d been getting a hard-on just looking at her in the kitchen.
I realized that this change in my view of Sarah was probably not for the best. Kelli and I were just getting used to living together again. The look I had seen on her face was one I’d seen before. While I tried to tell myself that nothing untoward had happened between Sarah and me, and I honestly believed it to be the truth, I was having second thoughts for the first time since inviting Kelli to move back in.
Maybe I had acted too soon, but I wanted Ethan here.
Kelli could be a bit possessive, something that we had argued about in the past. The fact that she had nothing to be jealous about now was perhaps not as obvious to her as it was to me. She also had no reason to be judgmental toward me. I wasn't the one who had screwed around.
She had.
Eleven
Sarah
I returned to the nursery and closed the door softly behind me, leaning against it while I waited for my heart rate and body temperature to return to normal. From embarrassment or desire? Likely both. No, not likely. Definitely. My breasts tingled with the memory of the way Joel’s eyes had lingered there, sending a new jolt of warmth into my nether regions.
I was shocked at myself. I hadn't felt any sexual desire since before Ethan had been born.
Plus, this didn't bode well. On top of my guilt at fooling Joel was now the inkling that he might be attracted to me. Was he the jerk that Kelli had made him out to be? Would he make a pass at me? And what if he did? How would I react?
While I'd admired Joel's handsome features since the moment I laid eyes on him, I’d tried to put out of my mind what lay beneath those polo shirts and khakis — such a hard, well-sculpted, and highly desirable physique. I shook my head, still clutching Ethan's bottle of formula, while I pressed my other hand to my belly, trying to calm the jittery sensation of freshly awoken butterflies flitting around in there.
Ethan had fallen back asleep, so I waited for several moments, for my pulse to slow, for a knock on the door. I'd seen the look that flashed over Kelli's face, recognized jealousy when I saw it. She’d hidden it almost immediately, but I caught it. Would she feel threatened now? Now that she'd managed to move in, would she decide to fire me?
No, just yesterday afternoon she had acted desperate to continue with her plan. A plan I was now kicking myself for entering in the first place. Would she fire me for endangering her plan? Joel's history of playing the field must still be fresh in her mind.
My musings were distracted by the sound of Ethan's low fussing. I quickly pushed thoughts of Joel, his body, and my own surprising reaction to his near-nakedness to the back of my mind as I smiled and stepped toward the crib, murmuring softly. Picking him up and cradling him in my arms, I sat us down in the rocking chair and fed him his bottle, relishing the noises, the smell of his skin, the softness and warmth of his flesh.
I had to be ready. If Kelli said something, I would assure her that my reaction to Joel had been nothing more than startled surprise. Nothing more. I wasn't interested in Joel, not that way. I certainly wasn't interested in getting involved with any man, and that was the truth. Hadn't I gotten into enough trouble?
Yet, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, the image of Joel's sculpted chest and those abs kept returning. Not only that, but the way he had gazed at me too. Those blue eyes of his had lingered just a second too long on my breasts.
I glanced down. They were still plump from my pregnancy, even though I didn't nurse. I had made that decision after two weeks of trying to breastfeed, during which Ethan hadn’t managed to gain much weight. Not wanting to take any chances, I’d opted for the bottle. Though I’d stopped producing milk, my breasts were still a bit larger than they had been pre-pregnancy.
The memory of that lingering look, the way his gaze had taken in my waist and the thin straps of my tank top, elicited another surge of heat that coursed upward from my chest, into my cheeks. He couldn't possibly… he hadn't been flirting, had he? Then again, why wouldn't he have, given his history? The thought made me uncomfortable, but at the same time, I certainly couldn't deny the pleasure I’d gained from having a guy who was as good-looking as Joel check me out. Other than my drunken evening with Ethan's sperm donor, I had never paid attention to how guys looked at me. In fact, I purposely avoided direct contact.
Still, since I’d always felt that I was never perfect enough or good-looking enough, the look on Kelli's face had also given me not only pause, but a brief surge of pleasure. I could understand her immediate distrust of Joel in the presence of another woman in the room, especially with both of us scantily dressed, but seriously?
For the first time, I wondered if she'd been completely honest with me. I hadn't once seen any unacceptable or lascivious behavior from Joel since the day I arrived. He didn't have women over and he stayed home every night. I wouldn't ever know for sure if Joel really did cheat on her and then kick her out, not without blatantly asking him, which I certainly wasn't going to do. But it did give me a glimpse of maybe another side to the story.
Kelli had bad-mouthed Joel, but at the same time acted like she was desperate to get back with him. That was something I still couldn't understand. She appeared to make enough money on her own — a supermodel, popular in her own right. Why would she need to latch on to Joel? Yes, he was rich. Filthy rich. But the more time I spent with Joel and the more I got to know Kelli, I couldn't help but become more aware of the differences between the two. Joel seemed to want emotional connections. In the short time they had been together, he'd become devoted to Ethan and his needs. Kelli, on the other hand, seemed more interested in shopping, party planning, and the attention she gained from her reconnection with Joel.
I couldn't understand it. I gazed down at Ethan, fast asleep now, his hands still lightly clutching the now empty milk bottle. I knew then that subconsciously, I’d begun to switch sides. Or at least my allegiance. How could I not? How could I not favor the person who showed my son nothing but unconditional affection and concern?
I closed
my eyes, swallowed a groan, and leaned my head back. A hard knot formed in my stomach. I was no better than Kelli. Maybe Kelli had some ulterior motive she was using Joel for, I didn't know, but the truth was, I was doing the same. The thought of him discovering the truth made me sick to my stomach.
That afternoon, Kelli appeared in the doorway of the nursery as I finished changing Ethan.
I smiled pleasantly, trying to ignore the memory of earlier this morning. "Hey, Kelli," I said, fastening Ethan's onesie and then lifting him into my arms. I settled him on my shoulder, cradling his head, his breath soft and warm against my neck.
Kelli stared at me a moment and then pasted a smile on her face. "How about you take a break for a couple of hours? Come shopping with me." It wasn't exactly spoken in a tone of an offer or request, more like an order.
"What about Ethan?"
She gestured toward the other side of the house. "Joel's working in his office for the rest of the afternoon. He can watch Ethan."
I was about to protest but then Joel appeared in the doorway behind her. "You two go on and have a little bit of fun. I'll lay the baby quilt on the floor next to my desk and Ethan can keep me company while I do some paperwork."
I glanced uncertainly down at my son. Though reluctant, I had no choice but to agree. "All right," I said with forced cheerfulness. "Sounds like a plan to me." I didn't want to go, but how could I refuse? I was only a nanny, right?
Kelli kept a pleasant smile on her face as I handed the sleeping Ethan off to Joel, who cradled him against his shoulder just like I had. Ethan seemed so small and tiny snuggled like that on Joel's wide shoulder, his large hand encompassing my son. Protective. Sheltering. The tug on my heartstrings nearly overwhelmed me and I had the sudden urge to confess everything, right here and now. A glance at Kelli stopped me. That and the fact that I needed more money, as much money as I could make in what I knew would be a short remaining amount of time before this game of hers likely played out.