by Martha Carr
“Back so soon?” Correk mumbled into the pillow.
“Just for a moment. I’ll be gone for a while. Be back later today.”
“Be safe.”
“’Safe’ is my middle name.”
As she went back toward the living room she heard Correk snort into his pillow, which made her smile. She opened the portal to her DC contact, pulling the hood of her sweatshirt up and creeping down the dark alley where he lived. She knocked on the door and waited as a Willen slowly cracked it open, looking right and left.
“I’m alone, and I wasn’t followed.”
He nodded and opened the door just wide enough for her to come in. He didn’t bother to change to his glamoured form of a human and rubbed his hands together nervously. It wasn’t often that Leira visited him or any of her other sources, but it was the best way to get them the information and money. Leira handed the Willen several bills, and he looked at them with glimmering eyes.
“I need information about who is messing with the shifters as fast as you can get it for me. If your information checks out there is more money in it for you.”
“Yes,” he hissed, looking her up and down, checking for anything that he could steal, but she knew better than that. “I will poke my nose around and see what I can find out.”
“Good,” Leira replied and stuck her finger close to the Willen’s nose, making him whimper nervously. “If you screw me I will come after you.”
“Oh, I know. I would never do that to Leira Berens,” he sniveled.
“Right.” She scoffed. “This is urgent, so I’ll leave you to it. I need to know who is poisoning the wolves.”
Leira left quickly, checking her pockets and the envelope to make sure nothing had been stolen. She had worked with the Willen long enough to put the fear of God into him, but it was his nature to steal so she always double-checked. From there Leira headed to Chicago, then Milan, then New York City. She hit up every source she had, offering them the same deal she had offered the Willen. She made a stop in every major city. The safety of the shifters depended on it, and she needed to find out exactly who was behind it.
When she was done she went back to her house, exhausted from portal-jumping. She sat down on the couch and set her envelope on her lap, leaning her head back. Yumfuck came over and sat next to her, giving her a toothy grin as he put his paw out palm up. Leira rolled her eyes and giggled, handing him some money.
“I guess I can’t really complain. At least you are paying for things now instead of just taking them.”
“I have to set a good example.”
“Very true, Yumfuck. Grab me a donut when you go, preferably the maple variety.”
“You got it, dude.”
Leira shook her head and leaned back against the couch, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. She dreamt about the shifters. About their sudden changes and the way that the dark families were treating her and them. She dreamt about their deaths and groaned softly, trying to save Lucius. Her phone buzzed in her lap startling her and she sat straight up and took in a deep breath. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room, but she was alone. The phone displayed the coordinates of her Chicago source’s meeting spot.
Leira shook the sleep from her head and opened the portal, stepping through. In the shadows with a large cloak over his head stood a gnome, waving her over. Leira approached cautiously, knowing she could never be too careful. Her sources weren’t loyal to just her, and she wouldn’t be surprised to be set up by the dark families.
“This is bigger than you realize,” he growled. “It’s not a place for you to stick your nose. The dog-men are on their own. This conspiracy is too deep and too connected, like the tendrils of a spider web moving farther and farther out.”
“Were you able to get any names? Any at all…something I can use to at least start tracking it down?”
“I wasn’t able to figure out who was in charge or even specific names of people who worked for them, but I did find out that it all starts with a group called Humans First. They are seen in the media as protestors, but that is just a front. They are destroying the magicals one at a time and they don’t play, so you need to be careful. Rumor has it they have their claws in pretty high up the chain of command for the feds.”
Leira took a wad of cash from her pocket and handed it over, watching him scamper off down the alley. He had done well, and now she had some work to do. Humans First might be the front name, but there was always a leader. Leira wasn’t going to let it go until she found out who it was.
25
Yumfuck leaned back in his chair and dropped a Cheeto into his mouth. He had his feet propped up, music pumping, and zero cares in the world at that moment. He’d decided to take some time for himself, knowing it was important to take care of you so you could take care of others—or at least that was what his neighbors told him. Jackie Venson was playing the blues guitar into his headphones, pumping out Texas Night. Yumfuck loved that song, and thought of himself as a true Texas native even though he came from Oriceran.
“I’ll be back on the road. Using memories and the hard lesson learned.”
Yumfuck danced around in his chair, singing loudly, “Pretend it ain’t truuuue. Pretend it ain’t right and we’ll be together. Ohh, in the Texas night.”
Yumfuck jumped down and began a wild rendition of air guitar to the sounds of Venson. He looked at himself in the mirror, wearing his cowboy hat. He tipped his hat at his reflection and whirled around, pulling up an invisible microphone and singing into it. It was definitely interesting and would have been worth an encore, but before he could move on to the next song his phone buzzed on his table and fell to the floor.
He pulled his headphones off and furrowed his brow, knowing Leira was still in bed downstairs and no one ever called him on that phone. He looked at the number, which was unknown, and he almost didn’t answer, but something told him it was important.
“This is Yumfuck,” he tweeted.
“This is the Magic and International Relations Division of the federal government,” a voice said. “We were told that you work closely with Leira Berens and are now on the payroll for calls.”
“That’s right, I’m a bona fide hunter. How can I help you this morning?”
“We have an assignment for you if you are interested.”
“You usually go through Leira for calls, and she takes whatever team she needs.”
“Ms. Berens won’t be needed for this one, and we think it is particularly suited to you. You have shown exemplary patience, control, and ability to effectively communicate with any and all magical beings. Apprehending the perpetrator will take some care and consideration. No magic is needed, just a thick skin and a willingness not to give up. You will be compensated as the lead agent on the case.”
“Me, the lead agent? Awesome! Say no more, Yumfuck is here to save the day. What are the details? I don’t want any time to pass if I can help it.”
“Good, because this one may get a little wild.”
Yumfuck stepped through a portal that had been created by the government for him since he couldn’t make his own. He was on the streets of Lisdoonvarna, Ireland, looking around in wonder. The little town was packed with shops and houses, all brightly colored and wildly painted. On his right was the Matchmaker Bar, whose yellow sign was complimented by the brightly-colored mural painted on the building above and beside it. Several people were tripping out of the bar, three sheets to the wind, singing at the tops of their lungs.
Yumfuck laughed, finding the place way different than it was in America. He shook his head and moved down the street, knowing it was no time for sightseeing. The government had given him a job, and it sounded like it was going to be a doozy. He turned down one of the side streets and stopped to stare at the small, ancient buildings with thatched roofs and brightly-colored doors. He scanned the street for any sign of the creature that was supposedly roaming them, but he saw nothing.
The troll moved against the fence
and shrank down to about a foot tall, hoping that would protect his cover. He definitely wanted to see the animal before it saw him. Otherwise, he might end up being chased through the streets of Ireland by a magical creature and fail his first case on his own. He crept up the sidewalk, keeping close to the wooden fences that framed the gardens of the houses and peering around the corner before running quickly across the street.
He stopped at the end of the block and looked down in the road, finding a giant pile of shit, obviously from an animal and streaked with sparkly silver strands. It definitely belonged to his culprit. The question was, where was he hiding? A large shimmering silver bear wasn’t exactly something that could hide very easily, and he couldn't shrink like Yumfuck did. He’d faced one before on a walk in the Dark Forest back home in Oriceran. How he had gotten to the streets of Ireland Yumfuck would never know, but it was vital that he caught the bear before he harmed anyone or anything.
He continued up the street, stopping about halfway and sniffing the air. He lifted an eyebrow and looked back and forth. The undeniable scent of this creature wafted through the air. As he moved down the block the scent got stronger, so Yumfuck knew the bear had to be close by. He smelled strange, like wet dog and patchouli, something most humans and Oricerans alike hated the scent of. To Yumfuck it had been lifesaving when he’d lived in the woods. He could smell the bear before it got anywhere near him or his family and was able to thwart its efforts every single time.
“Where are you, little bear?” Yumfuck whispered. “Come out and play with Yumfuck. I won’t bite...much.”
Just then a shimmering silver bear blew past Yumfuck from the yard, knocking him onto his butt. He bounced across the sidewalk, trying not to lose sight of the bear. As he moved, the bear projected an image of himself a few feet in front and then in back, making it nearly impossible for a normal person to catch one. They were deceptive creatures, and by the time most people realized they were diving for a projection the real animal was running for the hills.
Silver Bears were not necessarily violent creatures unless they were cornered, which Yumfuck was assuming was how this bear felt. They were used to wide-open spaces with room to roam and had never been anyone’s pets. Residential areas like the one they were in, were not places a Silver Bear would be comfortable in at all, which probably explained why he was running around like mad trying to find a hiding place.
Yumfuck started by showing a bit of empathy, calling for the bear kindly. “Come here, buddy. I know you’re scared. Yumfuck can help you.”
The bear stood in the street flashing his projection all around him, staring at Yumfuck as he slowly grew to four feet tall. Yumfuck put out his hand and started making his way to the bear very slowly. The bear snorted, eyeing Yumfuck but not showing any signs of aggression.
“That’s right, little buddy, stay right there. I’m gonna get you somewhere safe.”
As he approached Yumfuck thought quickly about how to get the beast under control. He might be small, but Yumfuck was one of the strongest creatures in Oriceran. He could hold him down until help arrived. He took another step forward and stopped, close enough now to make his move. He waited a moment and then pounced, arms wide, wrapping his arms through a projection and hitting the ground.
“Motherfucker!” Yumfuck pounded the concrete as the bear took off down the street, slowing when he got to the entrance of a small park. Yumfuck knew he couldn’t let him get away from him in there. He would lose him and the thing would end up in a crowded Irish street, scaring the shit out of everyone.
He took a deep breath and began to grow, reaching eight feet in height. The bear looked like a small dog compared to Yumfuck’s enormity. He stomped his large furry feet toward the bear. He could tell the animal was scared. He now had a snarl on his lips and was flashing projections all over the place as defense. The bear started to bolt, but Yumfuck slammed his foot down and let out a mighty roar. The bear whimpered and sat down in the grass, lowering his face and covering it with his paw.
Yumfuck sighed, shrinking back down to four feet and patting the bear on the head. “It’s okay. I know how confusing it can all be. Someone is coming for you.”
Across the street, a couple stood at their living room window watching the whole scene. The woman looked at her husband in amazement.
“Are those magical creatures like on the internet?”
“Nah, I am pretty sure they are filming a really low budget remake of Godzilla... with green fur.”
Yumfuck plopped down next to the bear and surveyed his movements as he slowly began to move closer to him. The bear put his face against Yumfuck’s and nudged him with his nose. The troll rubbed the top of his head, his feet out in front of him, waiting for whatever was next.
“I know it’s scary here sometimes,” Yumfuck soothed the bear. “But you can’t just go crazy, running around the streets. You could hurt someone, or someone could hurt you. I don’t know how you got here, buddy, but we are going to get you somewhere safe.”
Just then a portal opened in front of Yumfuck and the dreaded Gardener of the Dark Forest stepped through, holding a twisted vine staff and staring down at Yumfuck. He jumped to his feet and stood tall and proud, glancing sideways as the Silver Bear sat straight up and mimicked the troll. The Gardener let a small smirk move over his lips, seeing that the troll had made quite the impression on the Silver Bear.
“You did an excellent job, young troll,” the Gardener told him quietly in his deep voice. “I will take the bear back to the sanctuary where he can live, run, and be free without risk of injury to him or to anyone else. Thank you.”
The Gardner put out his arm and stepped to the side, allowing the bear to cross through the portal. The large silver beast looked back at Yumfuck and let out a noise from his chest, nodding in thanks. Yumfuck nodded back and looked up at the Gardener.
“How do I get home? It would be a long walk to DC.”
“Oh, that’s right.” The Gardener stepped to the side and opened a second portal. “There you go—back to your house. The government people said they will be in contact with you soon. Until then, rest. You’ve earned it. And feel free to visit the sanctuary any time.”
Yumfuck didn’t really know what to say. He was used to the stern-faced Gardener who was fiercely protective of his wildlife. That was the first time Yumfuck had seen him smile. He thanked the Gardener and hopped through the portal into his room. He hung up his cowboy hat and sighed. He had done more than just saving cats or preventing robberies today. He had saved a living, breathing creature from certain death. There was a level of pride in that he couldn’t describe.
“All in a day’s work.”
26
Yumfuck came down the stairs, jumping back with his paws against his chest and breathing heavy when he saw Correk and Leira waiting for him in the living room. They looked worried and upset at the same time, and Leira was holding an envelope with Yumfuck’s name on it. Correk clicked on the lamp, illuminating the room.
“The senator opened a portal here about ten minutes ago and dropped your payment off for a job we knew nothing about.” Leira lifted an eyebrow, feeling slightly like a parent.
“They had a Silver Bear on the loose in Ireland,” Yumfuck explained. “Didn’t want to bother you, so they sent me to help him. He was running around like a crazy bear, scared and helpless.”
“A Silver Bear?” Correk was dumbfounded. “How in the world did a Silver Bear get from Oriceran to Ireland?”
“Don’t know.” Yumfuck shrugged. “But he was running from house to house and projecting all over the place.”
“Does someone want to fill me in on what a Silver Bear is?” Leira put her hands on her hips.
Correk nodded apologetically. “It’s a bear that is wild and native to Oriceran’s Dark Forest. They can project the image of their body in all directions, making it hard for a predator to catch them. They are big animals but aren’t really known to be hostile unless sick or spelled. They are wh
ite with silver specks through their fur, making them sparkle.”
“Oh, okay. So what did you do with this Silver Bear once you caught it?”
“The Gardener came and got it. That’s how I got home—he opened a portal for me. Nice man, kind smile.”
Leira and Correk looked at each other with amazement. They had never once seen the Gardener smile, much less speak kindly. All they could assume was that it was because Yumfuck was more like an animal than a person, even if he was better spoken than most beings on either world. Leira sat down on the couch and held the envelope out to Yumfuck.
“Sounds like you earned this payday. Good work, Yumfuck. I’m glad they didn’t call me, although I have always wanted to go to Ireland.”
“It was pretty, at least what I saw.” Yumfuck took the envelope and folded it in half, not even looking at the money inside. “Now I can buy my own snacks!”
Leira smiled, lightening up the mood. She patted the seat between her and Correk and Yumfuck scurried over, plopping between them with his feet straight out in front of him. Leira grabbed her coffee and took a good long sip, exhaling in relief. She ruffled Yumfuck’s hair and leaned back to look at him.
“And to think, just a little over a year ago I thought I would go nuts trying to get you to sit still or tell me what you wanted. We weren’t upset, we were worried. You weren’t in your room, the senator was abrupt and brash, and there are dark families out there hunting us. They know you are bonded with me, and they will go after you just like they come after me.”
Correk rubbed Yumfuck’s fur, listening to him purr. “After my conversation the other night I’ve come to realize that there is dark magic everywhere, even within the ranks of the Silver Griffins. No one is safe, including you, buddy. We just need to know when you are being sent off on a mission so we can either come with you, or sit and wait, knowing exactly where you are.”