“And bravery. I would have been long gone,” I muttered. Reid had incredible resolve and had mastered his fear. He knew he would take some bruising tackles before he could design his defense. He was mentally tough and it was clear he had learned from a master.
“We all have our strengths. Yours is mental strategy and attack—his is protect and defend. I haven’t seen too many crane stylists fight. Why is that?” Blair asked.
“Because it is one of the hardest animal forms to learn so it is not that common. Mr. Parks teaches kung fu from a branch of Hung Gar also known as the tiger and crane style. Panther falls under the tiger animal family but certainly with crane influence. I think that is why it looks so familiar.” I answered Blair in a low and calm voice but my mind was racing. If Mr. Parks also taught Reid, maybe he could show me how to control him from reading my emotions. He would have taught Reid the crane style because his empathy allowed cranes to tap into the attacker psyche. It was this excellent understanding of others that allowed cranes to know what would happen before it actually occurred. I started to relax because if Kevin was jealous of Reid, Reid already knew it. Reid had taught me a valuable lesson: he could take care of himself and he was completely aware of those around him.
I was meeting Reid at Gary’s party after the game. I was sitting in a chair by the pool surrounded by Melissa, Barbara, Holly, and Maggie. Cheryl was standing in front of us. She was trying to convince us to go with her to collect For Sale signs and construction cones to add some pizzazz to a planned toilet papering of some guy’s house that night. We were all laughing as we gave her bigger and bigger suggestions of yard props. Barbara nominated a lawn jockey statue from her neighbor’s yard and Holly offered up a tacky wishing well that her parents got as a gift but didn’t use.
The music was blasting from the large speakers Gary had pulled out onto the deck and the pool lights cast an alien green glow into the night. The crowd was growing by the minute as more and more people arrived now that the game was over. I scanned the mass of people every few minutes for Reid.
I noticed Blair and Patrick were talking by the entrance to the enormous hacienda-style house. Patrick’s hair was wet from the locker room shower and he was in his usual gray Champion sweatshirt. I was just about to wonder where Reid was when he came up behind me. I inhaled the smell of evergreen as he bent down to kiss me.
“I was wondering where you were…” I said. I looked at his face critically. I wanted to see if he had split his lip. There was nothing there. “Didn’t you hurt your lip on the field?”
“Nope. I’m fine,” he said. I noticed he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I didn’t want to press him in front of everyone else. I stood up and told my friends I would be back. They looked dubious.
As we walked away, I muttered “Liar” at Reid and saw his dimpled grin out of the corner of my eye. “Not entirely,” he answered. He stuffed his hands into his jean pockets. “It’s better now.”
I stopped to look at him in the dim light and saw no trace of the cut. I nodded. I couldn’t ask him about it further since a bunch of Zeta pledges in concert T-shirts were doing some bad karaoke under the hazing direction of their sisters.
“Reid, I am wearing your Rolling Stones T-shirt. Hope you don’t mind!” Karen yelled out. The minute I processed the words I changed my thought pattern from an arrow going through my heart to how tired I felt. I thought about crawling into my bed and going to sleep.
“No problem!” Reid answered. He held onto my arm as we moved through the crowd. I kept thinking about the warm safety of my bed. I refused to think about Karen. I didn’t want Reid to catch a glimmer of me thinking about her while he touched my arm.
We were near Blair and Patrick. “Guys, I’m starving. I want to grab a quick snack back at my house. Whitney, do you want to come with me and we will be back in a bit?” Reid asked.
I was glad to put some distance between Karen and myself. Reid was right; I was tired and I was afraid I was going to snap if Karen kept up her stunts. “Sounds good. Blair, you’ll be all right?”
“Sure,” Blair agreed. I smiled. It was a safe bet Blair would not be moving from that spot.
Reid grabbed my hand and I thought about how I was glad to be leaving. That was not a hard feeling to conjure up since it was true. I really needed to figure out what Reid could absorb when he was touching my skin and how long he could do it. I couldn’t keep up swapping my thoughts around for much longer. It was a lot of mental work and especially difficult for me when he overloaded my sense and emotions. I had to talk to Mr. Parks.
“What kind of martial arts training do you have?” I asked as we walked back to his car. Reid felt inside his jeans for his keys.
“What makes you ask?” Reid’s grin already confirmed my suspicion was true. I zipped my jacket as I got into the car. “Because I saw you use it on the football field tonight.”
“I hope it wasn’t too obvious. I don’t usually use it on the playing field. Tonight I was in too much jeopardy. Kevin deserved it and I’m not willing to be out of school with an injury and not see you. He was not even trying to play his position. I train with a Hung Gar master and friend of Helga’s. His name is Mr. Parks. He has been teaching me for quite a few years now,” Reid answered as he started the car and we pulled away from Gary’s house. “It took you long enough. I knew you were a panther stylist off the bat.”
Hearing Mr. Parks’ name come out of Reid’s mouth made me realize our meeting was inevitable. Mr. Parks had hinted he was training a crane he wanted me to spar against. Never in a million years would I have guessed it was Reid Wallace.
“Yeah, right. As if I scream panther. Mr. Parks probably told you because I am so cunning,” I joked, slipping into our old routine of fishing for compliments. We were already turning off into Reid’s neighborhood. He lived around the corner from Gary.
“No, it’s because you are always thinking ahead and you don’t want anyone to truly understand you. Also, you are so totally cocky,” Reid laughed. “Your strategy is to outmaneuver and outclass everything. You only go for the best, so I’ll take that as a compliment that you are dating me.” We both laughed as he pulled the BMW into the driveway of his dark house.
“Really? I guess that means you have figured out the new strategy I was going to try?” I asked with a gleam in my eye. I unbuckled my seat belt. He looked relaxed in his oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
“What’s that?” Reid said with a coy smirk. I leaned toward him and reached my hand toward his face. I let my mind roll back to the Jamaican waterfall, but this time, I imagined Reid and me kissing underneath the rain of water. Our lips connected and the sensation of thinking of the scene while actually kissing Reid was an intoxication of heat I was not prepared to handle. It made my unconscious conscious. It was like being alive in a dream. Beyond the euphoria and in an inner sanctum I was not aware existed, I felt whole again. My mind slipped deeper into the experience and then came to a halt.
“Careful,” Reid breathed. He held me back away from him with both hands. I felt my eyes slowly open and I met his blazing stare. “I won’t let go of you so easily next time. I am only human. Was your strategy to see how much willpower I have?”
“It was just a kiss…” I protested even though I was limp in his hands. Endorphins were racing through my bloodstream and my body seemed to recognize what my brain was determining: connecting to Reid would be addictive and amazing. It was an emotional high.
“There you go again. You really are cocky as hell,” Reid said, laughing. “You know it is not that simple between us. I am warning you, that kiss pretty much blew my mind. You can’t keep doing that to me. I guess this is what Dr. West was telling me about when you let your emotions out of the box…”
“What do you mean by that?” I had to admit, I was glad to know this was not a one-sided experience.
“You do a good job of hiding the emotional side of yourself so you don’t let others deplete you. But you also have made yoursel
f so comfortably numb that you give yourself limited access to your own real feelings. He said that I had to be prepared to handle it when you dusted them off and took them out of the shadows. Even though he had given me a heads-up, I guess I wasn’t expecting it to be so fantastic.” I stared at him, slightly stunned. “Dr. West told me your head rushes were triggered from too much emotion at once. You are not used to it. He told me when you found them again they would be powerful.”
I opened the car door and Reid did the same. “What else did Dr. West say while I was out of it?” I was not sure if I wanted to know. I walked toward the house in step with Reid. When he opened the front door, the smell of melted chocolate and fresh strawberries made my mouth water.
“Oh, nothing much. He made it pretty clear that while I was your guardian if I crossed any lines of propriety he would see to it I was made an instant eunuch. What are you smiling about? That isn’t funny! I would think you might have some interest in me staying in one piece…” Reid protested as he opened the door to the house.
I wasn’t smiling because it was funny. I was smiling because Dr. West had made me a safety net. I could take more emotional risks knowing I had this kind of freedom. He had tasked Reid with the landing gear so I could fly. Dr. West had my full admiration and respect.
We walked into the kitchen. The first sign that something was amiss was that there were a lot of cakes on the counter. Helga was slicing strawberries and putting them on a chocolate cake in a beautiful pattern. I noticed her eyes were the same color as the berries.
“What’s happened?” Reid asked with concern as he glanced at all the cakes. He had obviously seen this obsessive baking before. “Helga, what is wrong?”
Helga’s red-rimmed eyes looked up at us for a second and then went back to her strawberries. Her hand was moving so quickly I couldn’t believe she wasn’t cutting her fingers off. “Yoshi Parks called this afternoon. An old friend of ours committed suicide today. I just can’t believe it. Reginald was always so clear-headed. He knew so much and had the potential to do so much good. I can’t believe he would take his own life…”
The shivers were already going down my neck. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I already knew she was talking about Dr. West. I willed in my mind not to hear her confirm it.
“Reginald? Reginald who?” Reid asked. He had walked up next to her and wrapped his arm around her. She kept cutting strawberries even as he pulled her close to him giving her a sideways hug.
“Reginald West. He was a friend of mine from another lifetime. Before I came to work here. He was a brilliant mind. A very gifted man. More important, he was a kind and good man. I will miss him very much.” Helga stopped cutting long enough to dab her eyes with a lace handkerchief she had in the sleeve of her starched white shirt. At the mention of Dr. West’s name, Reid’s eyes widened in alarm. I looked at him over the row of cakes on the counter.
“Oh no. Whitney. I’m so sorry.” Reid was frozen next to Helga. Helga looked up, startled at the inference that I also knew Dr. West. She looked shocked at the coincidence but not nearly as shocked as I was that Mr. Parks, Dr. West, and Helga all knew each other.
She set down her knife and came bustling over to me. It was the first time I saw she had a severe limp. Her doughy hand was in mine and started to pat the top of it. “Whitney Forbes? Can you be Stuart Forbes’ daughter? I can’t believe it. I still think of you as a little child. I’m so sorry for you to find out like that, Whitney. I didn’t realize the connection until now. Come, come. Sit down on the couch. Reid, come help me.” Reid was next to me trying to guide me to the overstuffed sofa near the window. I could not imagine sitting on it. I was still standing. I wanted my legs in motion.
“I think I want some fresh air. I would like to go outside for a minute by myself.” What Helga said did not make sense to me. I would know if Dr. West had died. That connection had not been cut.
“Alone? Are you sure? I can walk with you.” Reid was uncomfortable with the idea.
“Just give me a moment by myself. You can see me from the house. I really need to be outside,” I said firmly. I let go of Helga’s hand and walked toward the sliding door. Instantly, the cool air made me feel better and I knew I was right. Dr. West was alive.
I knew there were decisions ahead as sure as I knew Dr. West was not dead. I thought about how I needed my instincts to be my guide. Dr. West had been a marine in the Vietnam War and he once told me instinct was what got him through the fighting. “I didn’t do anything heroic. I just knew where the bullets weren’t going to be. The only thing war teaches you is how precious your life is.” His words echoed in my head.
Suicide was not an option for Dr. West. He had seen too many lives wasted in the Vietnam War. He could not abide that their contributions to the world were lost and would not disregard the value of his own. It would be shaming their memory for him to quit.
Distracted, I walked right into the sundial in Reid’s garden. I wasn’t even aware I had wandered in that direction. I bent down to flip it back up. I felt compelled to look under it and saw something taped to the base in a Ziploc bag. In the right corner, like a postage stamp, was a small duplicate of the lion I had drawn when I was little. I ripped off the duct tape and opened the bag. It was a computer disk. Then I saw his legs.
“You knew I wasn’t going to let you be completely alone, right?” Reid asked from above me.
“No, I guess not,” I scoffed. “I had to think about what Helga said because I know that Dr. West is not dead,” I said. I righted the sundial.
Reid touched my arm gently. “Whitney, I’m sure this is hard for you to hear. I know you were close to him. What do you mean, he is not dead?”
I held up the disk. “This isn’t here on accident. I know he is alive. For some reason, he wants the world to think he is dead so that is how I will proceed. I don’t expect you to understand all of this, but you are going to have to trust me.” After finding the computer disk, I felt a burst of energy and confidence. I knew what I had to do next. It was time to see Mr. Parks.
“I think I can keep up with you. Why don’t you try me?” Reid challenged. “I want to hear why you are convinced he is alive when Helga is in there crying her eyes out.” Reid's voice had a firmness I didn’t recognize.
“OK. I’ll tell you on our way too see Mr. Parks,” I conceded. I was already headed to the car and was not going to take no for an answer.
“What about Helga? I can’t just leave her,” Reid said, exasperated. It all clicked in my head. My intuition told me to leave her. She already knew what I was thinking. She knew I didn’t think he was dead and that that was what Dr. West wanted the rest of the world to think. I thought about her grabbing my hand and not letting go of it. She was much calmer after that. The limp, the Swiss army watch, and the fact that she knew Mr. Parks and Dr. West were no coincidence. She was former CIA.
“Helga knows where I am going. She would have stopped us in the garden if she didn’t want us to leave.”
Reid looked startled by what I said. I was too focused on what I had to do next to figure out if he knew about her past. We were getting in the car.
“Fine, but I want to know what is going on. What is that computer disk and what does Mr. Parks have to do with anything?” Reid asked. I was sorting a lot of information at once and some of it I didn’t have time to explain. I had to trust my instincts that Reid wouldn’t think I was crazy.
“I met Dr. West in a CIA program called Clarion, where they were exploring using people’s minds as a weapon of psychological warfare. He is a neurologist and a parapsychologist. He also has extrasensory abilities. They are similar to mine. My claircognizance is telling me this is wrong. There is no way he is dead.”
“You’re telling me you are part of this program called Clarion?” Reid asked as he ran a hand through his hair. “That’s why you are a government asset?”
“Admiral Bennett did not have that in the file? I’m surprised. Dr. West tried to ma
ke sure my paper trail was erased but he couldn’t be sure he was successful. Maybe there is a shred of hope,” I said. I rubbed my arms to warm myself. I felt chilly.
“This definitely was not in your in file, and a shred of hope for what?” Reid asked. He seemed increasingly unnerved. I was waiting for him to question the validity of what I was telling him. We went through the back roads toward Fort Hunt Park. I could feel Reid’s eyes scan me for a second, looking for more clues.
“That I won’t be pulled into the program. Dr. West and I both saw it being manipulated away from preventing war into a method of attaining world dominance. It was awful. I won’t be a part of it.”
We arrived at Mr. Parks' house. The modern house was a sleek wooden structure nestled in the trees. Reid wondered aloud if it was too late to pay Mr. Parks a visit but I ignored him. There was a path of stepping stones that wound around the house to the dojo. The glass doors were open and Mr. Parks was sitting on the floor with his back to us in meditation.
“Whitney. Reid. I’ve been expecting you,” Mr. Parks said from the floor without looking up. His breathing was regular and deep. I was feeling calmer in his presence. “I’m glad you came here. Right now, nothing is certain and much is being decided. The future, as you know, is always in motion.”
I formed my hands in the proper greeting of respect for a Hung Gar master. I used my left hand to make the tiger claw and placed it over my closed right hand that represented the dragon fist. I bowed slightly from the waist as Mr. Parks rose from the floor. Reid did the same and then spoke to him in Chinese.
“Is it true? We can only know what is true in our heart, Reid. What Whitney believes is her truth. You must ask yourself if you put your trust in her. That will answer your question and now we await your answer,” Mr. Parks said with his eyes sparkling.
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