Ethan grinned at her. “Not a fan of flying? It’s not so bad. Safer than driving.”
“So they say.”
Once they landed, Abby let out a sigh of relief and looked noticeably more relaxed. They disembarked and made their way across the tarmac to retrieve their luggage, then followed the group they’d come with to a shuttle that would take them to the resort they were staying at.
Abby turned to him after they were settled in the shuttle. “So how exactly did all of you afford a private jet and a private beach villa?”
“You think we’re all poor in Willow Valley?” he teased, laughing when she got flustered.
“No! I just mean it seems pretty frivolous.”
Ethan looked around at the friends that had come on the trip. Braden, his brother Bryce, and their friend Dillon and his girlfriend. The four guys had taken this trip together every year for several years.
“Bryce knows the owner of Sunset Bay from his college days and he hooks us up every year.”
Abby raised her eyebrows. “Jet included?”
“Yeah, pretty sweet, right? I’d almost feel bad, but wait until you see the place. It’s gorgeous.”
It was late when they arrived and not all the amenities of the resort were easy to see, but Ethan could tell by Abby’s expression when they walked the moonlit paths to their villa that she was impressed. And it looked like she was finally starting to relax.
She leaned closer against him as they neared the villa and looked up at him with excitement in her eyes. “I can’t wait to explore this place tomorrow.”
“Why wait? Let’s drop our stuff off and go for a walk. The moon’s pretty bright tonight.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
“Sounds good.”
“Hey, Braden,” he called out, “put these bags in our rooms, will you? We’re headed to the beach.” He gave her a grin. “Done. Let’s go.”
Tucking her under his arm and close to his side, they made their way down the garden paths that all led to the sand and kicked their shoes off. The early September weather was perfect for the beach, but there was still a chill to the late night air and Abby snuggled in closer.
When they got closer to the water on a strip of beach that was all but deserted, Ethan sat down in the sand and pulled Abby down next to him. “I’m so glad you agreed to come,” he murmured against her hair.
“Me too,” she said, but there was something in her voice that didn’t sound sure.
“Are you?”
She turned her head so she could see him and nodded. “I am. I’m glad we get to spend the time together. And this place is beautiful. I’m just nervous.”
“About…?”
She blushed and he thought he might have an idea. “Abby,” he said, running a hand up and down her arms, “I already told you that you can have your own room. I don’t want you to think I have any expectations for this trip.” He looked her straight in the eyes. “I mean it.”
“I know. I was actually thinking about the surfing lessons. Ethan, I’m not sure I can do it.”
He tilted his head and studied her. She was definitely athletic enough. “Sure you can. You’ll be amazing.”
Shaking her head, she turned to look out over the crashing waves again. “No, physically I can do it. I just don’t know that I can get out of my own head long enough to give it a go.”
Ah. Her inner health and safety inspector was coming out to play again. “Abby, you’ll love it. I’ve seen enough of you by now to know that deep down you crave excitement and adventure.”
“Maybe that used to be me,” she said softly, “but not anymore.”
Placing a hand on her chin, he tilted her head to face him again. “Abby, what happened to you?”
She looked startled, her eyes widening, and he could see her chest heaving as her breath came more rapidly. “What do you mean. Nothing happened to me.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Really? Then why do you get nervous any time I bring something like this up. Tell me. What stole your passion for life? I can see it there all the time, just beneath the surface, waiting to come out.”
She sat in silence for a minute, the debate going on in her head showing plainly on her face. Then a look of resolve took over.
“I lost someone. Someone close to me. It changed me.” She paused and swallowed. “You’re right when you say that I wasn’t always like this. That first night at the Old Gin—you saw a side of me that I thought I had lost. Honestly, I didn’t believe it still existed until I met you. You’ve made me realize that I want to get that back. I don’t want to live my life in fear. That’s not the girl I used to be. But it’s been so long that I don’t know if I can find myself again.”
The look she gave him, full of desolation, tugged at his heart and he wanted more than anything for her to see herself the way he saw her.
“Abby, you’re so much braver than you give yourself credit for. Look what you’ve done. You’ve come to a new city, started a whole new life. That takes guts to step away from what’s familiar.”
“It’s not like I had anything left back in California.”
He shook his head. “No. You could have stayed where you were. But you took a risk and came to find your family. And despite what fears you think you have, you took a risk with me too.”
“And how’s that paying off?” She smiled faintly.
“You tell me.” He leaned in closer to her, brushing her lips with his, then pulled back slightly and studied her face.
“Pretty good last time I checked.” She reached for him, kissing him this time, and all other thoughts that weren’t about how good it felt to kiss her flew out of his head. He was at one of the most gorgeous tropical resorts in the country, sitting by the ocean with the waves crashing at his feet, and a woman who had gotten to him like no other before her was in his arms.
“Let’s go back to the villa,” she whispered against his lips.
Ethan tilted his head back to look her in the eyes, and the intention he saw there was unmistakable. “Are you sure?”
She bit her lip, driving him crazy with the simple gesture, and nodded. “Absolutely.”
***
Abby’s breath caught in her throat as Ethan stood wordlessly and held a hand out to her. Her heart was hammering in her chest and every nerve was tingling as he stared into her eyes. She stood up, and he pulled her hard against him, never tearing his eyes from her.
He was trying to make sure she knew what she was saying. To erase any doubt from his mind, she pressed her body flush against his and trailed her fingers up his strong chest to his broad shoulders and around his neck. Then she kissed him with a passion that surprised even her.
He responded instantly, his arms going around her, sliding down her back to her hips where he pulled her even closer against him, if that was possible. It was as if suddenly they couldn’t be close enough. She wanted to be surrounded by him, filled by him, consumed by him.
Her pulse was beating out a furious rhythm as they explored each other’s mouths, hungry for more. Then he was picking her up and cradling her against his chest, never tearing his mouth from hers, and striding back up the beach toward the villas.
He didn’t even stop to pick up their shoes, and she couldn’t have cared less. She just wanted to be in his arms, and right then nothing else mattered.
Then they were at the room, Ethan opening the door deftly and carrying her through. Abby glanced around the living area of the villa, glad to find that no one else was in sight.
Ethan must have felt the relief in her body, because he smiled down at her. “They’re all resting up for tomorrow. It’s been a long day.” He didn’t stop, carrying her straight into his room and shutting the door.
She bit her lip. “Do you need to go to bed too?”
He grinned wickedly. “Hell yeah. But sleeping is the last thing on my mind.”
Abby should have been embarrassed, but all she felt was a zing of heat flooding her body as Ethan looked at her with desire in his
eyes.
He pulled her back to him, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face. “You’re sure about this?” he asked again, his intense gaze searching her face for any sign of hesitation.
“What do I need to do to make it any clearer how much I want you, Ethan?” She smiled at him, confident in her decision. “This is what I want.”
Wordlessly, he cupped her face in his hands, almost reverently. Then he kissed her so softly, so sweetly, that she thought her heart would burst. In such a short amount of time this man had changed her life. She felt more alive than she’d felt in years. What she felt for him was more intense than anything she’d ever experienced in her life. It was as if he was a kindred spirit that she didn’t even know she was looking for but now felt complete for having found.
“Abby,” he murmured against her lips. He pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes, raw emotion in his gaze. Everything she needed to know was right there on his face. They hadn’t put a label on what they were or what they felt for one another, but Abby knew in that moment that she had never loved someone as much as she loved Ethan.
She tried to convey what she felt for him without words. Words weren’t necessary with them. He could see right through her, had been able to from the start.
Turning her cheek in his hand that still cupped her face, she kissed his palm, then placed her hands on his chest and said, “I need you, Ethan.”
“I need you too. More than you know.” His eyes were blazing with barely contained desire. A man had never looked at her with such want, and her chest swelled so tightly that her heart felt that it would burst.
“Then take me to bed.”
He crushed his mouth to hers, the gentleness that had been there moments ago replaced with a fervor that wouldn’t be denied. She surrendered herself to him, body and soul, and as he picked her up once again and carried her to his bed, she knew nothing had never felt so right.
CHAPTER TEN
Sunset Bay was indeed even more beautiful in the daylight. And Abby didn’t think that was only because everything this morning seemed brighter and more alive. Much like Abby herself. Last night was like a dream. A beautiful, magical dream. When she’d awoken in Ethan’s arms with the sun streaming through the window, she felt more at peace than she had in a long time. She felt loved, and even more unbelievable, she knew she felt love for him. It was something she never thought she’d experience again. Even more shocking was that it was so much more intense than anything she’d felt before.
Yes, she’d loved Derek. But they had been young, and she knew now that what she’d had with him paled in comparison to what she felt for Ethan. The thought both alarmed and comforted her. It meant that she wasn’t broken. She could love again. And be loved. From the way Ethan had cherished her the night before, it would be hard to deny that he didn’t feel something just as deeply as she did.
But it also meant that she had more to lose. She’d lost one man she loved, and the idea of losing Ethan was too terrifying to even contemplate.
Shaking those kind of thoughts from her head, she focused instead on what was ahead that day. Tackling her fears. If she’d been strong enough to open herself up to someone again the way she had with Ethan, surely a little water couldn’t defeat her.
But as she stood at the edge of the sea with the water lapping at her ankles, she wasn’t so sure. She’d yet to venture any further. Trying not to think about it, she focused on the beauty of the Gulf of Mexico. She couldn’t get over how clear the turquoise water was. It was also a lot warmer than the Pacific Ocean.
Ethan was just down the beach at the activities center hut getting their boards rented, and she wrapped her arms around herself as she contemplated what she was about to do. She’d wanted a moment to herself to get her head on straight. Despite the fact that she knew she was totally, completely, head-over-heels in love with Ethan, and she trusted him to take care of her, she suddenly couldn’t get her mind off Derek. Or rather, what happened.
The water wasn’t rough today, the waves fairly mild. A perfect day for learning to surf.
But all she could see was the Coast Guard rescuers dragging Derek’s lifeless body from the water.
“All set.” Ethan’s voice so close behind her startled her so much that she jumped. She turned to him and saw him watching her with a grin full of anticipation and excitement, like he couldn’t wait to get out there in the waves. She tried to fight back the bile that was rising in her throat as she stared back at him, unable to return his smile when she noticed the surfboard he had for her.
Another wave crashed at her feet and she backed up in a hurry, hands clutching her stomach as she tore her gaze from Ethan’s.
“Whoa, Ab, are you okay?” He stuck the boards in the sand and came up to her, holding her gently by the arms. “What’s that look?”
“I don’t think I can do this, Ethan.” She hated how weak and fearful she sounded. But it was true. With memories of Derek’s death resurfacing more vividly than they had in at least a year, how was she supposed to get out in the ocean? The thought had her knees feeling weak.
Ethan gave her a funny look. “What? Why the sudden change? I mean, it’s perfect conditions out there today. This is something you’ve wanted to do since you were a teenager. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
Abby shook her head. “I can’t,” she mumbled.
“Can’t or won’t?” He looked at her sharply. “Something’s up, Abby. You have the same look on your face that you did when I asked you to come here the first time, that night at the Old Gin. I’m starting to think that whatever it is you’ve been through, it has something to do with surfing.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me that before I brought you here?” The look of concern on his face was sincere.
“Not surfing, exactly. Just water in general.”
“Have you had a bad experience with water? Abby, you should have told me.” His voice was full of remorse. “I never would have pushed for you to come here with me.”
She met his eyes. “Coming here with you is something I’ll never regret, so don’t say that.”
He smiled, leaning in to kiss her softly on the tip of her nose. “Me too. But you know what I mean. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. It’s no problem for me to return the boards.”
“Boards? No, I want you to do this. Don’t worry about me. I do not want to be the reason that you don’t get to surf. This is something you do every year.” She shook her head vehemently, hoping he wouldn’t argue with her.
“Abby,” he said gently. “It’s okay. But I’m not going to let you sit here by yourself and watch while we go out there. What fun would that be?”
“It’s fine, really. Maybe I’ll change my mind.” Part of her really wanted to. Ethan was right. This was something she’d wanted to do her entire life. And now she was letting her past and her fears dictate her future. Was that really how she wanted to live?
She’d made so much progress already. She was actually really proud of herself for how far she’d come. She didn’t think she’d ever get to this point. And she loved the ocean. She always had. It was hard not to growing up in California. Was she going to spend the rest of her life in fear of it?
Ethan must have seen the inner turmoil reflected in her eyes because he squeezed her shoulders where his hands rested. “You want to do this, don’t you?”
“Yes. And no.”
“What’s holding you back?”
Looking at the concern on his face, Abby knew she could tell him. But she didn’t want to bring up Derek now, not after they’d shared such a special night. It just didn’t feel right to put that between them right now. Maybe when they were back in Willow Valley. She had to tell him eventually. But she didn’t want to ruin the trip with her devastating memories.
Gathering up all the courage she could find, she made a decision. “Nothing,” she answered. “Let’s do this.”
Ethan looked like he was trying to tamp down hi
s excitement, but she could see how much he wanted to get out there in the water with her. And deep down, she wanted to as well. She just had to woman up and do it.
“You’re sure?” he asked.
“You sure have said that a lot this week.” She gave him a teasing grin, feeling some of her fear start to drip away. She knew Ethan would take care of her. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen.
“Hey, I just don’t want you to have any regrets.”
His words brought back the conversation she’d had with Denise, when she’d advised Abby not to look back on her life with any regrets. A new resolve formed inside her. This was something she’d wanted to do for as long as she could remember, and now was her chance. If she didn’t do it, she knew she’d regret it.
She nodded, determination welling up within her as she repeated, “Let’s do this.”
***
She continually amazed him. Ethan had no idea how he’d gotten so lucky to find Abby, but he knew without a doubt that he had found one of the strongest and most remarkable women when he met her. Something was up, that much was clear. But she was determined not to let it stop her.
As he watched her gather her courage and resolve to face whatever demons she undoubtedly had, Ethan knew he could never let her go. Last night had blown his mind. It wasn’t just that he’d been aching to make love to Abby since the first day he saw her. It wasn’t even that it was one of the most amazing experiences of his life. It was that the feelings she stirred up inside him were feelings he’d never expected to have. He’d fought off commitment for so long, fearing that it would cost him too much, that he’d have to give up too much. But Abby accepted him for how he was and didn’t ask him to change a thing.
When she said, “Let’s do this,” he couldn’t be more proud of her.
A grin broke across his face. “You won’t regret it.” She smiled back at him as if that was exactly what she needed to hear.
Giving her a quick but tender kiss, he grabbed her hand and led her to where he’d stuck the boards in the sand. “Okay, let’s go over the basics before we get in the water.”
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