by MJ Masucci
They went into town to eat at a small diner that served great burgers and came back to get ready for the next day. As Xander lay in his bunk, he looked at the picture he had pulled from his jacket. He ended up falling asleep with the picture against his aching heart.
The next two weeks were spent repairing, painting, cleaning, organizing and stocking the camp for the children. The first group would be here in a week. When Xander was repairing the leg of the desk in Paul’s office, he noticed the schedule that was left open. He scanned the names and spotted Ava’s. She would be here in less than five days. She was going to be an assistant in the art lodge. He knew what he wanted to do.
He went to the lodge and found the paint supplies. The walls of the lodge had many paintings from the children over the years. He chose an empty spot at eye level, and he began to paint. Few people knew about his artistic skill. He had cultivated it more when he had moved into Janelle’s garage apartment, where no one could see him or the results.
He wanted to leave Ava something. She might not realize it had been him, but at least he would feel comfort that he had created it for her. When he was finished, he stood back and looked at his handy work. Paul entered the lodge just as he was putting away the supplies.
“Alex, I didn’t know you could paint. That is really nice. Too bad you can’t stay and teach the kids.”
Xander said nothing but smiled at Paul. He was leaving today. He went back to his cabin, packed his clothing and made sure that the picture of her was safely in his pocket. He only had one picture of her, and he wanted another. Packing the car, he headed for home.
That evening, Xander sat with his feet on his small coffee table reading his emails. His parents, and sisters, had all sent him several, all exclaiming they were unhappy that he had not been able to join them in Lake George for the Memorial Day weekend. He had gone once before during the past four years, but the constant badgering from his father ended that; there was no way he was going to subject himself to it again.
Another reason he avoided the lake house was the pain it caused him to be there. The last trip, he was haunted by Ava’s memory. That was the first place they had gone alone together. He remembered how she marveled at the grand patio and backyard. It was the first place they had made love.
He closed his eyes and wondered what the look on her face would be when she saw the rose. Would she notice that he had woven his initials and her birthday into the design? Why was he doing this to himself? It would be so easy just to go back to the city and tell her how much he loved her, that he had made a mistake doing what he did.
He closed the laptop and picked up his sketch pad. Leafing through he found a blank page and began to draw. From memory, he drew her in her graduation gown and cap. When he was finished, he held up his handy work in the light. It was a good likeness of her. Her hair had grown longer since they were together. Now it was to her mid-back and fell in soft waves. He wanted to touch her hair, wind it around his hand while she…He started to grow aroused and shook the memory from his head.
He went to his dresser and felt around in the drawer for his old iPod. It was another one of the small creature comforts he allowed himself. He scrolled to a playlist he had created. Of course, it was labeled “Ava.” It contained songs like At Last, In Your Eyes, After the Fall, All I Want Is You (which was one of his favorites, and he could play constantly).
In fact, he had several U2 songs that reminded him of Ava. They all made him miss her even more, but he continued to play them over and over. He stuck the earbuds in his ears and selected a different U2 song — Stay. Then he hit the repeat button and listened.
Janelle found him with his head tilted back on the couch softly singing. She touched his shoulder and gently tugged on the earbuds. His head shot up from the couch.
“Dammit, Janelle, you scared the shit out of me!”
“I’ve been knocking for the last few minutes so don’t get mad at me.”
He turned off the iPod. “What do you need?”
“I need you to watch the kids for me now for about an hour or two. Billy needs me to help him with a few things at the office.”
Xander’s face brightened. He loved to watch his two young cousins. Jimmy had turned four in May and Sophia would be three in July. They were one of the few things that could make him happy.
“It's dinner time, so I need you to feed them, and if you could give them baths, you would be doing me a huge favor. I have some mac and cheese, and chicken nuggets are warming in the oven.”
He stood up and slipped his feet into a pair of topsiders, and he followed Janelle to the main house. The children were happy to see him, and Jimmy jumped into Xander’s arms followed by Sophia. He wrestled with them on the floor while Janelle and Bill rushed around to gather the supplies they needed to take with them.
“We will be home in a couple of hours. You two need to eat dinner and take baths,” Janelle instructed the little ones.
The children looked at her for a split second and then climbed on Xander again.
“Are you kids listening to mommy?” Billy said.
“Yes, Daddy,” they said in unison.
After they had left, Xander picked them up and took them to the kitchen sink.
“Time to wash your hands before we eat.” He lifted first Jimmy then Sophia to wash their hands. When they were done, he got them plates and told them to sit at the table.
“Alex, do you want some of my ‘roni?” Sophia asked and held her fork out for him. Xander took a bite from the fork, and she giggled.
“More, Alex?” She gave him another forkful. Jimmy got into the act by offering him a dinosaur shaped chicken nugget. When they were finished, he deposited the children in front of the TV so he could clean the kitchen and then sat with them.
A half hour later he was carrying them to the bathroom. He began filling the tub and poured a lot of bubble bath in the water. Jimmy loved to hide in the bubbles, and Sophia always followed whatever her big brother did.
As the water ran into the tub and the bubbles got higher, he undressed the children. Then he tested the water to make sure it wasn’t too hot, and he put them into the bath. Jimmy quickly started to make shapes with the mound of bubbles while Sophia lounged in the corner. Xander handed them both a wash cloth and soaped their hair with baby shampoo.
He let the children play for a while after they were clean. Sophia got soap in her eyes and he quickly pulled her out of the tub, wrapping her in a towel as he wiped at her eyes with a clean cloth. She sat on the toilet seat while he rubbed her dry. Then he dressed her in a thin summer-weight Dora the Explorer nightgown. Jimmy, however, was not as easy to wrestle away from the remaining bubbles. He refused to come out of the tub until Xander opened the drain.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you dry and into your pajamas.”
When the children were ready for bed, he sat on the couch with them flanking him while he read a story. They both fell asleep, and he put the book down so he could cuddle them against him. He would never have this for himself, so he enjoyed the time he was able to spend with his little cousins.
He sat daydreaming of a life that once could have been. Ava had been pregnant with his twins, but that was just a memory. She would never be able to have children. He slowly got up from the couch, and first took Sophia to her room and then Jimmy. He tucked the children under the covers and kissed their sweet faces.
Janelle and Billy came home not long after the kids were in bed and thanked him for making their evening easy. No thanks needed. It is special to me to spend time with them. An hour later, he sat in the same position in his apartment in which Janelle had found him earlier that afternoon, still with his iPod on repeat, but this time the song was U2’s All I Want Is You.
Chapter 3
Ava’s first day back at work on Monday after her graduation was uneventful. She was going to continue to work part-time at the firm for Victoria as her legal assistant until she took the bar exam. She had a ton of studyi
ng to do, and when Jacob wasn’t busy, he would drill her on different aspects of law. She wanted to pass the exam on the first shot. Every member of the Keene family had: Jacob, Jason, Daniel, Michael, even her sister-in-law had passed the first time. It would be embarrassing if she were the only one to have to retake it.
She went about her day working on contracts for several real estate transactions. After over four years, she had a much better working relationship with Victoria than in the beginning. The woman was actually nice to her, especially after she started attending law school. Where Ava had originally thought that real estate was boring, she was wrong. She found several aspects of it interesting and had often thought of concentrating on that area when she was admitted to the New York State Bar. Of course, that would probably be several months away, so she had plenty of time to decide what she wanted to do.
She checked her watch and saw that it was nearing 1:00 PM. For the last three years, she had worked a staggered schedule depending on her classes and test schedule. Some weeks she barely worked but others she worked more. Her Uncle Daniel had been kind enough to let her do this so she could remain employed, not that she needed the money. Her inheritance was still steadily earning interest and making gains in the stocks her advisor suggested she invest in. She wanted to use her salary for tuition, but her father had insisted he pay for her schooling just as he had done for Michael and Brooke.
Her investment portfolio had grown over the years under the watchful eye of her Aunt Mavis’ brother, Jack, who was a fund manager. She had more than enough money to survive the rest of her life without working, but she needed something to do. In two weeks after Memorial Day, she would be going to the Kids Afloat camp to be an instructor. It was one of her favorite things to do, and she looked forward to it all year.
She got together the contracts she had been working on and went to drop them off at Victoria’s office, whom she hadn’t seen all day. She knocked on her closed door.
“Come in,” Victoria said.
Ava opened the door to see Victoria on the phone. A large bouquet of red roses sat in a vase on her desk. Ava was a bit amused by it because Victoria rarely displayed anything personal. She gestured Ava over to her desk and whispered for her to sit.
Ava waited trying not to pay attention to Victoria’s phone call. It sounded like she was discussing a menu with someone. When she hung the phone up, Victoria turned her attention to Ava. She held her left hand out for Ava to see. On her finger was a large tear drop shaped diamond engagement ring.
“Oh my, what a beautiful ring! When did you get engaged?”
“This weekend. I was not expecting it since I have only been dating Don for six months. But he asked, and I accepted.”
“When are you planning on getting married?” Ava asked.
“In three months. Don is also an attorney, and his brother will perform the ceremony for us. I’m so excited.”
“That is wonderful news.” Ava felt her stomach tighten as she handed her the contracts and waited while Victoria reviewed them.
“Perfect, as usual. I will miss you when you are no longer my assistant. I think congratulations are in order since you graduated this past weekend.”
“Thank you, Victoria. I have a lot of studying to do and will remain as your assistant until I get my exam results.”
“I remember waiting for those. It caused me a lot of sleepless nights. Of course, I’m sure you won’t have any issues passing on the first try. You’ve had a lot of experience with the law already.”
Ava nodded. “This is true, but the test can be tricky. I hope I will do well, but it is still months away. I am going to study as much as I can before the end of February. I wanted to remind you that I’ll be gone for most of the month of June. I have two weeks away at Kids Afloat, and then I am going to Georgia to celebrate my niece’s and nephews’ birthdays. I should be back to the office on the third of July.”
“That’s fine. You deserve some time off. Just email me a reminder of the dates so I can put them on my calendar. Go ahead and head home; I will see you tomorrow.” Ava got up from the chair and retrieved her purse. She was going home to study or maybe just to veg out. She was exhausted from the past few weeks.
When she entered her apartment, she was hit with the fragrance of the roses from Xander. Riley and Boomer were sunning themselves on the carpet in her living room. She plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. She didn’t feel like doing much of anything, much less studying but she did. It was such a nice day out that she really should go running. The park was off-limits and had been for several years. She couldn’t bear to go running there and be reminded of Xander. There were so many places she avoided for the past few years, including where they used to eat.
Her mind would usually enjoy the wander to Xander, but right now she sat on the couch surrounded by study materials. Her head was ready to explode from all the time she was spending on studying. The horrible thing was that it was only early June. She had to wait until February to take the bar exam. But she was going to drill this information into her head for as long as it took. She wanted to score high on the exam, and that took studying.
She needed a break and went into her room to see if there was anything else she could tidy, though doubted it because that was her favorite study break. She was leaving in two days for camp, and she wanted to make sure her apartment was neat. Her twenty-eighth birthday had just passed the previous week, and she still needed to put the gifts away that her family had gotten her. Her closet was a mess, and she needed to pack.
She opened her drawer to see if any of the bathing suits from last year were still in good condition; she pulled out three, which should be enough because she was working in the art lodge this year. Last year, she helped with the boaters on the lake. She might not even get a chance to go swimming this year if she was busy.
She went to the hall closet to get a suitcase. She didn’t need a big bag and dug through the back of the closet until she felt one that was smaller. When she pulled it out, she recognized it as the case that Xander had used to bring her personal items and clothing from his apartment four years ago. She stared at it as if it were some creature that would come to life. After she had unpacked it years before, and shoved it way back into the entry walk-in closet. Until now, she forgot she still had it.
She hadn’t paid much attention while she unpacked it and now realized that Xander’s initials had been embroidered on the handle. She ran her finger over the raised letters — ARW. It made her angry, and she kicked the case far back into the closet. She chose the larger case without the reminders of him.
Ava finished packing and called to confirm her rental car. She didn’t have much call to drive in Manhattan, but she did have a license. She was going to make the five-hour trip upstate on her own as she had for the past two years. She preferred having her own vehicle rather than taking a bus and relying on someone at the camp to get her at the station.
The next day she hailed a cab to take her to the car rental office. They gave her an SUV; it was all that they had available. She had reserved a regular sedan, but she would have to wait for it to be cleaned, so she took the upgrade for the same price.
Ava set the GPS for the camp and got on the road. Three hours later, she stopped on the highway at a small roadside restaurant for some coffee. She had not slept very well the night before and was tired. She needed a pick-me-up and ordered a large black coffee with four sugars.
She couldn’t get out of there fast enough because three young men were leering at her from one of the tables. It made her uncomfortable, and she got into the SUV and hit the door lock button. The rest of the drive was uneventful, and she arrived at the camp by early afternoon. Paul Thoreau greeted her.
“Ava, so nice to see you again.”
“Thank you, Paul. I’m glad to be here.”
Paul helped her with her bag, and she went with him to his office for the key to her cabin. While she was waiting, she looked at the enclosed bu
lletin board in the office. She couldn’t seem to find the picture of her helping the children near the dock. That’s strange it was here last year when I left. Paul handed her the key as well as a second key to the art lodge before he helped her to her cabin. When she got there she noticed that there was only one bed in the cabin.
“Am I in the single this year?” Usually, she shared a cabin with one of the other instructors.
“Yes, you are the lucky recipient of our one and only single cabin. Is that alright?” Ava was thrilled not to have to share a cabin with anyone because she always got some young bubble head that wanted to talk all night.
“Not a problem at all. Thank you.”
He left her to unpack her things and when she was finished, she went to the art lodge to check the supplies. The room was fully stocked with everything she would need to help the children with their art projects. She was about to turn out the light in the main room when her eye caught something.
There was a painting on the wall that looked fresh. She moved closer and saw that it was a lavender colored rose. Upon closer inspection, she found that the artist had weaved a date and their initials into the folds of the petals. She had to squint to catch them, but the both the date “June 4” and the artist’s initials “ARW” were entwined in the stem. She covered her mouth in shock. ARW was Xander’s initials, and June fourth was her birthday. Had he been here recently?
She practically ran to Paul’s office to ask. “Paul, can I ask you something?”
Paul looked up from the forms on his desk. “Sure, Ava, what do you need?”
“Was Xander Wilder here last week?” He looked at her puzzled.
“Who? We didn’t have anybody by that name here last week. We had an Alex Wilder, though, Why?”
“I was just curious.”
She walked away with no clear answers. She knew that Xander had indeed painted that rose, but why would he do that unless he knew that she was going to be here, too? She went back to her cabin wanting to talk to someone. Picking up her cell phone, she saw that it had no reception bars. Figures, they never have good reception up here. It was still early, but she was exhausted from the long drive, and she lay down on her bunk. Within minutes of her head hitting the pillow, she was asleep.