by MJ Masucci
In the kitchen a few minutes later, she finally spoke.
“I need you to make love to me.”
“Ava, I think it’s a mistake to move so quickly again.”
“Please, you have no idea what you’re doing to me.”
“I think I do since you are doing the same thing to me.”
“But I’m not the one holding out on you. I want you and I’m willing.”
Xander rubbed the back of his neck as he thought of what to say next. It would be so easy just to take her, put her up on the counter and fuck her silly. It’s what he wanted to do at this moment, but instead, he asked her what she wanted to order for dinner.
“I only want you for dinner. I don’t care about food.”
“You’re going to make this hard for me.”
“All I want to do is make you hard, for me, for us.”
“Please be patient. You know it will be worth it.”
They ordered food from Soul Burger against Ava’s protests. She loved the food, but with the way they were eating, she was going to gain weight. She let Xander know she was no longer twenty-three and had to watch what she ate. He told her a little weight would do her some good. If looks could kill…
In bed that night as she lay with her head on his chest, Ava brought up a subject that they had never discussed, what his part was in the horrible events for her at Cameron University. It was never discussed because of the accident, and Xander had left shortly after. She didn’t want to bring it up when he was in California, but she had questions she wanted answered.
“Xander?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“I need you to answer some questions for me about Cameron.”
His stomach tightened, and he started to feel queasy. She had a right to know, and if they were going to start their relationship again, he needed, to be honest.
“Ask me anything.”
“Why did you set that contest up? It was cruel.”
He took a deep breath, “I know. I was stupid and careless. When they made me pledge master, I wanted to leave my mark. Something that would be talked about for years.”
“You know how hurt I was. Did you know they chose me?”
“I did. I’d seen you with Vance a couple of weeks before. I didn’t recognize you because it had been so long since I had seen you. Brooke never talked about you, and she had no pictures of you in her room. A few days before the party I found out your name and told them no. They needed to call off the contest. It was too mean, and I didn’t want any part of it.”
“Why did they keep it then?”
“I lost out. All the senior brothers voted to keep it even though they knew it would hurt you. I never went back to the house after that. I couldn’t bear to see the damage it was going to inflict.”
“Did you try to tell Brooke? Maybe she would have contacted me.”
“I did call her, but she had already left after she finished finals. She never answered my texts or calls until a few days after the party.”
Ava thought back to Brooke’s senior year and remembered that she had gone to Hawaii right after finals for two weeks. Since she still had another semester to make up classes, she wouldn’t graduate until December.
“I was so devastated that I left for New York the next day. Michael went to the school to pick up my things. I just couldn’t go back.”
He pulled her against him in a tight hug.
“I know what I did was wrong, and I hurt you. I will live with that the rest of my life and spend it making it up to you.”
“You don’t have to make it up to me, just love me.”
She snuggled up against him satisfied with his explanation. She faded into sleep with his arms around her.
Saturday morning she awoke to an empty bed. Xander’s side wasn’t even warm which meant he must have slipped out awhile ago. She got up and went to the bathroom, but all that remained were droplets against the glass shower doors. He must have gotten up, showered and gone somewhere.
She prepared herself for the day, wondering why he didn’t leave a note. As she blew dry her hair, she shut the dryer off after hearing banging. She rushed out of the bathroom and to the foyer. Xander was full of snow and stomping out his boots before he removed them. He had two bags of groceries from Stan’s.
“It’s snowing?”
“Yes and hard. I called Stan’s to order groceries, but they said they wouldn’t deliver in this. There is already about five inches on the ground. We have no food here, so I went to get the essentials.”
She tucked the towel around her tighter and helped him with the bags so he could remove his coat and boots. As she lugged them to the kitchen, she peered in the bags and saw that he had purchased eggs, milk, cheese, bread, bagels, butter, cold cuts, mayo and mustard and a few other items. He also had a bakery bag that he told her not to open.
She went back to the bathroom to finish drying her hair and then pulled on a pair of sweats and one of Xander’s t-shirts without a bra. She had no intention of holding up his deal of no sex until he thought it was right. Let him look at her breasts clad only in his thin t-shirt all day. Maybe he would give into her begging.
She went to the full-length windows in the bedroom and pulled back the drapes. The flakes fluttered against the glass, and she stood mesmerized as she watched them fall far below to the street. She loved snow but hated winter, not that it made any sense. She went to the terrace doors and watched the snow fall on the patio furniture. There was enough snow to scoop some up and shape a snowball. She opened the doors and reached out grabbing as much snow that would fit in her small hand.
Ava brought the ball of snow to the kitchen where Xander was unloading the bags into the refrigerator. She dropped the ball in the sink, and he looked at it melting on the stainless steel.
“Where did you get that?”
“From the terrace. I love snow. I wish we could go out in this later.”
“Why can’t we?”
“I don’t have boots or a hat here. I had no idea we were going to get a snowstorm.”
“We could go back to your place and get them. Don’t you have to feed the boys?”
“No, I saw Gage on my way out of the building yesterday. He said he is working all weekend and would be glad to do it.
He stopped talking as his eyes fixed on her, rather his t-shirt. It was plain white, and her nipples were quite visible through the cloth. She knew exactly what she was doing when she chose this shirt. He had plenty of dark colored shirts that were a lot less revealing. He felt himself start to grow as he looked at her breasts. She wasn’t making abstinence easy for him.
“Aren’t you chilly in just that shirt?”
She looked down, and her nipples were hard.
“Not at all. I’m very comfortable.”
He turned back to finish unpacking the bags, and she went to the full-length windows in the living room to look out. He watched her splay her hands against the glass and remembered what he never got to do, fuck her against the glass. How nice would it be to do that with the snow coming down? He pushed the thought out of his head, or he would have done it.
Instead, he set to work on making breakfast for them. It was nearing 11:00 AM and he was starving. He put sliced bagels, cold cuts, and cheese on plates along with a bowl of ripe strawberries. It wasn’t the season for them, so he paid a high price, but he knew Ava loved strawberries.
She sat down and plucked a red strawberry from the bowl. She pulled off the green stem, and he removed it from her hand holding it up for her to bite. She seductively put her lips around the berry and slowly bit it. Juice dribbled down her chin, and he leaned in to lick it off her chin. He dropped the remainder of the berry on the plate while he kissed her and sucked the juice off her plump lips.
His hands found her breasts and cupped them through her shirt. Before he could stop himself, his hands were under her shirt, and he was caressing and kneading them. She thrust her chest towards him, and his hands were full
of her breasts. Then he withdrew his hands.
“No, no, please don’t stop,” she whispered into his mouth.
“We have to. I’m sorry I did that.”
“You can’t keep doing this to me. Please,” She whimpered.
He put his forehead against hers and whispered he was sorry. “There is something else were need to talk about,” Xander said.
She bit into another berry, “What is it?”
“STD tests.”
Her eyes widened, “Oh…”
“We had sex with other people and we should have them taken.”
“I’ve never had one before. I had only slept with you.”
“But now you have slept with others, so we both need to be tested.”
He paged through his phone looking for a clinic they could both visit. He found one several blocks away. It would be easier than going to their personal doctors, and the results would be faster. Not that it mattered because sex was off the table for awhile.
“There is a clinic near NYU. They are open late on Tuesdays. We could take the tests together this week if you want.”
“What’s the hurry?” She mumbled as she turned her back to get some oange juice from the refrigerator.
“What?”
“Nothing. Tuesday is fine.”
They finished eating. She parked herself at the dining table facing the terrace, her head propped up in her hands as she watched the snow. Xander went downstairs to get the paper, and he sat on the couch reading. Several minutes later Ava sat next to him with her head on his shoulder. She stroked his arm as he read. It gave him goose bumps as her nails brushed against his skin.
“Can we go lie in bed with the drapes open?”
“Sure, why do you want to do that?”
“I’m tired. I want to watch the snow come down, and I’m a bit chilly.”
He looked down and could see her plump nipples pushing against the white cloth of the shirt again. He put the paper on the table and rose from the couch offering his hand to her. They walked to the bedroom and got under the quilt. She turned to the side to watch the snow, and he cuddled her against him while he kissed her neck.
“Please stop that. I love it, but you're making me wet.”
He removed his lips from her neck and held her close. The thought of what he was doing to her caused him slightly harden. He turned his attentions to the snow and his semi-erection subsided. This was getting complicated, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold off from making love to her.
Asking her to marry him was always at the tip of his tongue. The ring he had purchased several years ago was in the tie drawer in his closet. He didn’t want her finding it now that she was staying here. When he moved in the day before, he placed it in the back of the drawer. He wanted to ask her daily, but it needed to be right.
They ended up falling asleep and when they awoke the flakes were coming down even harder. Ava slipped out of the warmth of the covers and Xander’s arms to look down at the street. Cars were moving slowly along the avenues, but the pavements looked to be covered. She padded to the dining area to look at the terrace. The snow had drifted against the slider, and the patio furniture had become partially buried.
She pressed herself against the glass trying to eyeball the height of the snow. She felt Xander’s warmth against her back as he leaned against her, his hands at her waist.
“I want to go out and walk the streets,” he said.
Ava turned and could see a twinkle in Xander’s hazel eyes. He looked like a kid on Christmas, and she finally agreed. They dressed, and he took a suit in a garment bag and a small carry-on bag with other items.
“Why are you bringing all those things?”
“If we are going back and forth I want to leave clothing at your place just like before.”
She thought back to the suitcase in the back of her closet with his initials. He had brought all her personal items over while she was recovering in Georgia. She pushed the memory away because it was too painful. That was then; this is now.
Chapter 29
The sidewalks of the street were clear in front of Xander’s building thanks to the large awnings. But when they started their walk to her place, the snow was nearly six or seven inches in spots. Ava had no idea they were expecting this much snow. The wind whipped it around their faces, and they hurried along to her building. She slipped a few times, and Xander offered his arm to help steady her.
By the time they reached her apartment they were both cold. They stamped off the snow that had accumulated on their feet and wiped at their coats. Ava could feel the wetness that had seeped into her thin sneakers. They entered her apartment, and she immediately kicked them off. Her socks were soaked, and she removed them before she took off her coat. Their jeans had been dampened by the blustery snow, and they went to the bedroom to remove them.
Ava changed into sweats and put on thick socks. Xander changed into the same. She tried not to look as he removed his clothing. His body was so enticing, and this was the perfect day to spend in bed together. However, she wasn’t going to push him to do something he wasn’t ready to do yet; how ironic.
That night they decided to go out into the snow. The wind had subsided and what was left of the storm were light feathery flakes. They dressed in jeans, boots, hats, gloves and winter coats. As they walked the streets, Xander swiped some snow from a nearby car and threw the lightly packed snowball at Ava. He hit her square in the back, and she took refuge behind another car while she armed herself. They continued the game until they reached Washington Square Park.
He took her hand, and they walked under the arch. Many people were walking around the snow in the main gathering place. Some were throwing snowballs, and several were making small snowmen. She and Xander went walking down one of the paths away from the other revelers. She stuck her tongue out to catch flakes, and he took the opportunity to kiss her, people that walked by catcalled and told them to get a room.
That broke the magic of the kiss, and they continued on the path. The sidewalks had not been shoveled, and it became more work to trudge through the snow as they got deeper into the park. Ava was starting to get tired, and they decided to go back to the gathering place where the snow was trampled flat. When they got there, they had to duck and run from the flying snowballs.
They slipped over to the arch and out of the park before they became part of the chaos of a mass snowball fight. Xander asked Ava if she was hungry and found a small café where they could warm themselves and get a bite to eat. The table was tiny, and their knees kept touching as they talked and ate.
Ava felt content just being with him. She couldn’t make him understand that dates and gifts were not what she wanted or needed. All she needed was him. He fed her some of his fries and allowed her to suck the salt off his fingers. It sent tremors to his core as her tongue and lips touched him. She was making it hard for him to be in control especially when he knew what being in bed with her was like.
After they had finished dinner, they walked the short distance to her apartment building. In the elevator, he couldn’t resist kissing her. He deeply breathed in her scent as he kissed her. The doors to the elevator opened and shut as they lost awareness of where they were. His tongue was in her mouth, and she sucked on it. The doors opened on the fourth floor, and as one of her neighbors entered, they got out and took the stairs up to the fifth.
He held her hand. She removed her glove to find her keys, and he kissed her hand. He was having a hard time controlling his emotions and need for her. He wanted to strip her naked and take her to bed, but he wanted it to be without boundaries. He held back verbalizing this because he knew they would spend the next several hours in bed if he did.
She fished out her phone from her pocket before she hung her coat up in the closet and noticed it had a voicemail. The number was her brother Michael’s. She listened to the message and a smile bloomed over her face.
“Why are you smiling? Who is it?”
&n
bsp; “It’s Brooke; she had a baby girl a little while ago. Michael called me to let me know. They named her Savannah Elizabeth. They are both doing well.”
“Congratulations, you’re an aunt again.”
She looked at him and smiled weakly.
“What is it, sweetheart.”
When she didn’t speak, he could almost figure it out. Everyone was blessed with children, and they were never going to have them.
“Don’t be upset. Be happy for Brooke.”
“I am, but I want children so badly, and I can’t have them.”
“We can adopt. There are always options for us to have children.”
He pulled her to him, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. Several minutes later she unwound herself from him to text Brooke and was surprised when she got a reply. Brooke was feeling fine. The delivery was very quick, and she gave birth to Savannah in less than two hours.
Ava ordered flowers and sent them to her sister’s home. She was hoping she could get a few days off to visit her new niece, but it might not be until after the bar exam. It was now the first of February and the test was coming fast. She would need to put in extra effort if she wanted to score well on the test. She was hoping she wouldn’t be the only one in the family that failed and had to retake it. That would be embarrassing.
“Xander, since we aren’t having sex, can you work with me to study for the bar exam this week?”
“Of course I can. I can’t believe that it’s almost here. Four years ago you weren’t even sure you wanted to become an attorney. Now here you are a few months from being one.”
It was getting late, they were tired from the full day and walking in the snow. She started to get ready for bed and pulled out the threadbare t-shirt of Xander’s and slipped it on. He had been brushing his teeth, and he stopped short when he saw her in it.
“You still have that? It looks like you wore it a lot.”
“I did, almost every night when we first were apart. It gave me comfort.”