by KD Robichaux
School days moved at a snail’s pace, each period seeming to last for hours, my nonexistent attention span making the time spent in a classroom a slow form of torture.
Or a few years later, after my babysitter introduced me to her friend, who eventually oversaw my initiation into the gang. Time had virtually stood still between the second I lifted my booted foot above the back of a rival gang member’s head, and then the next, as it connected with his skull, breaking his jaw where his teeth were clamped down on the sidewalk’s cement curb.
The fifteen-minute drive in the back of the police car after I got caught stealing from the liquor store when I was seventeen felt more like a year, not knowing what my future held.
Boot camp. God. From the second I sat in the barber chair for them to shave off all my hair that first time, until I stepped off the bus in Ft. Vanter after it was complete, it was the slowest point in my life. After living as what I thought was a hard-ass in an unstoppable gang that didn’t have to follow rules, basic training was a whole new world. One full of drill sergeants who made it their life goal to break me. And they eventually did. Those ten weeks felt like a decade.
But on this night, as I look down at the ring inside the velvet box in my hand, I think back to the first time I made love to Vi, now seven months ago. Time has absolutely flown by. That’s not to say there haven’t been times when the hours, days, and weeks didn’t crawl by, like when I was in the field just a few months into our relationship, or the three weeks I spent at Non-Commissioned Officer school, before I earned my rank as a sergeant back in July. But it seems like just yesterday I took her virginity on the same night I gave her my confession. I love her. I’ve never loved anyone before, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I love Vivian.
And God does that girl love the shit out of me. She still looks at me like I hung all those damn stars. She still responds to my touch like it’s the very first time. And for once in my life, I truly trust someone to the depths of my soul.
There is a part of me I haven’t fully shown her yet. The part that still wants to protect her and keep her safe, but at the same time use her small, almost fragile body in ways that would scare someone as sweet and innocent as her. I fantasize about adding pain to her pleasure, dominating her in ways other than with my commands, which she still follows without batting a lash. I don’t think she even realizes she’s following an order when I give her one. My control over her is a subtle thing, one we’ve never talked about, having always just been there. And since everything I’ve always told her to do has been for nothing other than bringing her more pleasure, or keeping her safe, or improving something in her life—like when I taught her to drive, then eventually took her to get her license, before surprising her with a Chevy Malibu for her birthday two months ago—she’s never had a reason to bring it up.
But it feels so good being a man who Vi deserves, a fierce yet affectionate protector for my doting and faithful lover, that I haven’t minded putting that part of me aside. Keeping her is worth more than fulfilling my darker needs.
At last, her family arrives, the bell above the door jingling as it always has. Vi looks over her shoulder for a moment from where she was marking rocks with her stick of chalk, a route she’s dying to try that her boss was telling her the climbing coach couldn’t even beat, and I hide the ring box back in my shorts’ pocket.
A look of confusion registers on her face when her mom and dad walk into the rock gym, and it quickly turns into surprise when her brother comes in behind them. “Henry?” she cries, and takes off running across the gym. I watch, a smile splitting my face when I see her launch herself at him before he catches her. “What are you doing here?” Her voice is shrill in her excitement, and it carries throughout the entire building.
I see Sierra pop her head out of the office. She looks at Vi before her eyes come to meet mine, and I give her a slight nod, giving her the signal. A grin covers her face before she disappears again, and just as Henry stops next to me on the couch, carrying Vi as he followed their parents, I stand, and all the lights in the gym go out.
“What the…?” Vi whispers, and she reaches out to grasp hold of my forearm, sensing exactly where I am without having to see me. I pull the blindfold out of my pocket then trail the hand of the arm opposite of the one she’s holding, up from her hand, all the way to her shoulder, feeling her skin prickle. When I reach her neck, I pull her closer to me before lifting both my hands to place the blindfold over her head then down to cover her eyes. “Corbin, what’s going on?”
Vi doesn’t see it, but Sierra flips the switch that turns on all the newly hung blacklights around the gym. Vi had a genius idea about a month ago to install them and coat the walls with invisible paint that only shows up under a blacklight. Now, Rock On offers birthday parties and lock-ins, where you can climb on the glowing walls. She got the idea after I took her cosmic bowling, told Sierra about it, and the owners approved. They even offered her a cut of every birthday party and lock-in sold.
I take her hands in mine and look at her family, all three of them giving me an encouraging nod, her mom’s hands coming up to cover her mouth, as tears flood her eyes. Sierra comes to stand next to them, the biggest grin on her face. She and Vi have become close over the past several months, and I’m so happy that my girl has such a great friend. She’ll need all the support she can get, for when I go to Ranger school next cycle, and when I get deployed.
Taking a deep breath, I give her the short but meaningful speech I’ve been rehearsing in my head since last week, when I asked her dad’s permission to ask Vi to marry me. “Vivian, something inside me recognized you before I ever laid eyes on you, and as I told you that day I confessed I’d fallen in love with you, I believe it was my soul finding its other half. From that very second, I went with my gut. For once in my life, I listened to my heart. And now, I’m using my brain, because for the first time in all twenty-one years I’ve been on this earth, my head is screwed on right, and it’s all because of you. And what all four of those parts are telling me to do is to snatch you up before anyone else can try to steal you away from me, before you realize you are way too good for me.” I lean close to her ear, whispering for only her to hear, “Keyword, try. Because I’d kill any motherfucker who ever attempted.”
When I pull back, she’s biting her lip, her natural reaction any time I say something that turns her on, and I thank God she finds my possessiveness sexy, because that’s one part of me I’ll never be able to push aside. I get down on one knee and let go of her hands to take the ring box out of my pocket, opening it up. Then I reach up and tug down her blindfold.
When she opens her eyes, she looks up first, her mouth falling open as she reads what’s painted on the wall behind me. The very one she had been marking with her chalk not five minutes ago and had no idea it had been repainted. Glowing there in bright purple—a nice touch suggested by Sierra, knowing it’s Vi’s favorite color—the wall now reads, Will you marry me, Spidergirl?
She then looks down at me, seeing the ring I’m holding up to her, and her hands shoot up to cover her gaping mouth, a younger version of her mom standing in the exact same pose behind her. And then she launches herself at me, able to knock me backward in my unbalanced position on one knee, and lands on top of me. We land with an oomph, and as everyone laughs, she sobs a, “Yes!” before kissing me.
And with a grin, I let myself soak in the moment, her family and best friend cheering behind us, as I realize… after almost a year together, she finally kissed me.
The End of Our Story…
Before the Lie
2 years later…
THE PHONE RINGS and my heart thumps painfully, seeing the unknown number. Three days have passed since I last spoke to my husband, the love of my life. He’s been deployed to Afghanistan for four months now. He calls me when he can, normally every three days, when we’ll sit and talk to each other for the allotted twenty minutes, usually just repeating over and over how much we love
and miss each other, and how we can’t wait for the deployment to end so he can come home and make love to me, hold me, see me in person instead of just pictures.
“H-hello?” I breathe, my hand trembling as it holds my cell to my ear, and I close my eyes as Corbin’s deep voice comes through the line.
“Hi, baby girl. You okay?” he asks, hearing my stutter instead of my usual chipper greeting of ‘Hey, honey!’
I take a deep breath, ready to spew the lies I’ve rehearsed over and over in my head, feeling in my heart it’s the best decision. If Corbin knew the truth… God. He’d lose it—his composure, his sanity… his freedom. He’d go to jail for the rest of his life for going after the man who has ruined mine, my chance at living a happily ever after. Or he’d lose his life if my attacker was somehow miraculously able to get a one-up on Corbin. There’s no other way. I have to lie.
“No, baby. I’m not okay,” I answer, my voice weak, quivering.
“What’s happened? Is your mom all right? Babe, talk to me,” he urges, panic starting to fill his normally strong, unwavering timbre.
“Something… something happened at Sierra’s neighbor’s party. I—”
“What party?” he interrupts, and I close my eyes.
“Sierra’s neighbor had a going away party. They’re deploying with her husband, who’s already over there. She invited me to go with her, wanting to get me out of the house,” I explain. The one truth in this dreaded conversation.
“Okay, what happened?” he repeats.
“We were all drinking. I had too many to drive home, so I stayed with Sierra and her roommate. I… I did something horrible,” my voice cracks on the last word. It wasn’t me who’d done the most vile act anyone could possibly do to a person besides murder them. A sob escapes my throat before I can stop it.
“Baby… what are you saying? What did you do?” he prompts, confusion clear in his tone.
He’s the man of my dreams. My soul mate. There’s no way he would think I’d cheat on him, so he won’t read between the lines himself. I have to actually say the untruthful words. I have to let them come out of my mouth, even though I would never do that to anyone. Especially not to the man who is the center of my universe. But I have to make him believe it.
Why not just keep it a secret? a voice inside my head suggests. The same suggestion it’s offered up countless times over the last seventy-two hours. But I can’t. There’s no way I’d be able to make love to my husband, knowing someone else had been inside me—however unwanted—without him being aware of it. The guilt would eat me alive. No, this would be best. I’d tell him I’d made a mistake, he’d forgive me, and then he could just move past it. It would only be my burden to bear, no extra weight on his shoulders. He has enough to deal with, over there fighting for his country.
“I was drunk. I… I slept with someone.” There. The lie is out. An equal mix of relief and shame sweeps over me, making me dizzy, so I sit down on the edge of our bed. Opening my eyes to look at the picture of us on our nightstand, the image goes blurry as tears fill them to the brim.
He doesn’t say anything at first, but I can hear his breathing become rapid. My tears overflow and spill down my cheeks. Dear God, what have I done? I’ve hurt him. I’ve hurt the man I promised to protect and love for the rest of my life. I feel my heart break as he gulps audibly on the other end of the line. If he’s anything like me, he’s feeling sick to his stomach, swallowing back the bile that wants to spew from its depths.
“Ba—” I start, but I think better of it. I’m sure he doesn’t want me calling him any terms of endearment. “Corbin. Say something.”
It’s then that I recall the one thing he always told me. From day one. Even reiterating it in our wedding vows. Just stay loyal, and I’ll always be yours, baby girl. And even though I should have seen it coming, when he finally speaks, I shatter.
“I’ll have the divorce papers sent to you.”
And the phone goes dead.
You can join my reader group, KD-Rob’s Mob, here:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/361767417319236/
When I sat down to write Truth Revealed, I didn’t know where to begin. I knew it was going to be a second-chance romance, but there was so much to Corbin and Vi’s start that I didn’t believe flashbacks within the one book would do it justice. Therefore, I decided to tell their first story through a novella… but then that novella turned into a full-length novel, and so now we have Before the Lie.
Truth Revealed is the tale that actually originally popped into my head. Yet it wasn’t until I began to plot out how their second chance at love would go that I realized nothing would make sense unless I told everyone about their beautiful then tragic beginnings. Although painful to write for personal reasons, I’m hoping that in knowing their story, Part 2 in the Confession Duet will be all the sweeter in its vengeance.
One last thing I should mention: Although Matthew inspired Corbin’s looks and a lot of his personality, he allowed me to make up stories about his tattoos. And just so we’re clear, sweet yet badass Turd was never in a gang in California, nor did he join the military because he was given the choice between it or jail. #merica
Matthew Hosea, thank you for helping me with so much of the hero in this book, and for being the—really, really ridiculously good-looking—face of Corbin. Thank you for your infallible support when I got scared to put this story down on paper. It’s heavy and scary, but as always, you lent me your strength and courage to put it out there. I don’t know what I would do without your belief in me. Love you, Turd. #nerdandturd
My Hot Tree girls, Bec, Barb, Mandy, and Tina, thank y’all for all the work you did on BTL. It was rough for me to write outside my romantic comedy voice, and your notes and tweaks helped me so much. And Sierra, for your unique way of making me feel like I am somebody special. Y’all’s tears made my soul happy. *evil grin
Finally, DB. Thank you for reading, even though you claim you don’t know how. You’ll always be a hero in my eyes.
Coming Soon
Truth Revealed
Confession Duet Book 2
It’s been a decade since the woman who was the love of my life, my wife, confessed to cheating on me while I was deployed.
Ten years since I divorced her.
Ten years since I spoke to Vi, my soul mate, the girl who had brought me to life only to stab me in the heart, sending me into an even darker state than where I was before I met her.
Ten years, I’ve been watching her from afar, keeping tabs.
After a decade in the Army, two Purple Hearts and a Medal of Honor under my belt, I was kicked out with an honorable discharge, knowing no other skill than One Shot One Kill. Two years later, I’m part of a group of mercenaries who carry out justice. Criminals who hide behind their fancy lawyers and power—we take care of them and make it all look like karma. And with intel from our founder, Dr. Walker, a therapist with a long list of predators whose victims were too scared to turn them in, work is plenty and fulfilling.
Until Vi begins her sessions and I discover the reality I’ve lived the past ten years was nothing but a lie, when the truth is revealed.