The fields slipping by as we drove were a blur. If Mason was fucking around on me, how was I going to stay with him? How could I have a baby with him? The mere thought of having an abortion made me feel sick and was completely out of the question. Before, I had been a loudmouth pro-choice advocate, but now that it might be me, it was a totally different story. There was no reason I could think of that justified ending a baby’s life.
Looking down, I realized I had unconsciously covered my belly in a protective gesture. Tears welled in my eyes, but I blinked them away before they could fall. Hurt and suspicion were circling in my head, making me dizzy. I hated that it was even there to begin with. It was like my perfect world was falling apart around me, just as I feared.
The trip into the corner drug store in town was a quick one. Steph ran in for me when I told her I couldn’t do it. The fear of breaking down in sloppy, snotty tears in the middle of the aisle, or at the register, had me recoiling in terror of stepping foot in there to get the tests. Instead, I shoved some cash in her hand and told her to just go get me some. She hopped back in the SUV and shoved a paper bag at me. When I looked in the bag, I cracked up laughing. “Really, Steph? There must be ten freakin’ tests in here!”
She was still laughing as she pulled up in front of my house… oh my God, my house. Tears burst forth like a leaking dam. My words were garbled as Steph pulled me out of the SUV and back into the house. Down the hall and into my beautiful bathroom, we raced, until she stopped and pointed at the toilet.
“Go pee, girl! Now!” My face must have resembled a goldfish out of water, with my mouth flapping open and closed and my eyes bugging out of my head. Words were trapped in my tight, burning throat. I sure as hell wasn’t pissing on a stick in front of my friend, no matter how close we were.
“Now?” I squeaked.
“Hell yeah now, girl! Now. Go. Pee!”
Shit. My paper bag and I entered the little toilet room, and I closed the door behind me. It took a few minutes of staring at the bag before I could start moving…
Fifteen minutes later, we sat there looking at the five tests laid out on the counter. Yes, it actually took five little plus signs and double lines to make me believe it wasn’t a mistake.
“Damn, this really is déjà vu.” We looked at each other and burst out laughing, but it wasn’t long before I was crying again and Steph was holding me and stroking my back in an effort to comfort her hormonally crazy friend. Man, I love this girl. We’d been through some shit, for sure.
“Becca, baby girl, you need to tell him. This is his baby too. Talk to him. Figure this shit out, but whatever you do, don’t wait. That never helps. Trust me.” Her soft hands cradled my face as she tucked my stray hairs behind my ears and leaned over to kiss my cheek. I felt like I was going to cry again. Damn. Come on, God, please help a girl out.
I prayed my entire pregnancy wouldn’t be such an emotional roller coaster. Sighing, I hugged my best friend tight and promised I would talk to Mason as soon as he got home from work.
BECCA HAD BEEN SLEEPING when I left this morning, and I’d been hesitant to wake her. My mood was shit when I awoke due to the nightmares plaguing me through the night. It wasn’t often I had them anymore, but every so often they snuck in and wreaked havoc on my mind as I slept. The coffee I poured nonstop down my throat did little to wake me, and I had felt sluggish all day.
Now, as I walked into the beautiful home Becca and I shared, I was hit by the wafting aroma of roast, potatoes, and carrots—one of my favorites and my baby knew it. Hopefully, this meant she had forgiven my ass and we could move on.
It tore me up that I had to keep her in the dark about stuff with the club, but the less the old ladies knew, the better for them, and in turn, us. It was best to never give our enemies anything they could use against us, especially family. Like I said before, we were mostly legit, but we skated the edge a little.
She was going to be pissed when she found out I had to leave again tonight. It wasn’t supposed to be my turn so soon, but Gunner was puking his guts up with the flu and everyone else was tasked out for tonight. So, it was me and Reaper. Hopefully, we could talk a little over dinner and I could get her to understand why I couldn’t tell her everything.
She was pulling the roast out of the oven as I entered the kitchen, giving me an amazing view of her ass in her tight little white shorts.
Shit, she does it to me every time.
Adjusting my dick, I took a deep breath, trying to get control of the traitorous bastard. Fuck it. Silently, I crept up behind her as she set the pan on the trivets and shucked the hot pads on the counter. My hands slipped around her waist and my nose nuzzled her neck.
“Hey, baby. Have I told you today how much I love you?” She laughed softly at my question and covered my joined hands with hers.
“No, Mason darling, because you left before I woke up.” She had been calling me Mason since we moved in together, and I really loved the sound of my name on her lips. Her head turned to the side and those lips of hers sought mine. Never thought I would love coming home to the same woman, but hell if it didn’t feel like everything was right with the world when I did. Our kiss was fleeting, but the love poured from one of us to the other and back in that brief moment. God, I was afraid she might tell me to fuck off for good after last night, and it had me wanting to tie her to the bed so she could never fucking leave me. She had been pissed, and I knew I was asking for it again tonight. No matter how small the disagreement was, I hated arguing with her.
“Dinner is ready if you want to eat.” The shower could wait, because I wanted to enjoy this happy moment with her as long as I could before I pissed her off again. Her sensuous body turned until we were chest to chest. Slipping my hands down to her ass, I slapped it as I lifted, encouraging her to jump up in my arms.
Her legs wrapped around me as I buried my face in her neck. God, I needed her right fucking now. As I started walking toward the bedroom, it dawned on her what I was doing.
“Mason, I told you dinner is done. It’s going to get cold. What the heck are you doing?” I kept walking until I tossed her on the bed. “Mason!” she squeaked out and tried like hell to crawl off the bed.
Nope. I grabbed her ankles and slid her back toward me as I climbed up on the bed to straddle her, trapping her legs between mine and threading my fingers through the hair on the back of her head. My mouth lowered to her protesting one, and I took unfair advantage of it being open to slip my tongue in. Her protests abruptly ended as her arms circled my sides to dig her fingers into my back.
Using one arm to hold myself up, I unzipped her already unbuttoned shorts. Quicker than she could even start to comprehend, my hand slipped down the front and under her silky panties. Circling her clit briefly, my middle finger slipped down, in and out of her already sopping wet core. When she moaned in encouragement, I entered her wet warmth with first one finger, then two, pushing deep into her pussy and curling. She answered by rubbing up into the heel of my hand.
She was getting more and more erratic with her movements, and I knew she was close. Pulling away from her, I licked my fingers as I stared into her heavy-lidded gaze and heaving chest. God, she was sweet.
“Mason…,” she whispered, heavy with need. My pants were shucked in record time as she quickly shoved her shorts down and off, and I knelt above her, dick in hand, stroking slowly before guiding it to her slick folds. In a savage thrust, I buried myself in her until we were one and the same. With each plunge of my cock, she mewled and lifted to meet me to rub her clit against me.
My hand slipped up her shirt and under her bra, carelessly shoving it out of the way. As I tweaked her nipple, my lips and tongue trailed along her shoulder and neck. There was no gentleness in me. There was no room for it. This woman, she made me desperate. Aching. Possessive. Pulling her skin into my mouth, I couldn’t help but mark her as mine.
Each stroke into her velvet core was heaven. Her hands grasped at my shirt in desperation, and I kn
ew she was as close as I was. Lifting one leg up and curving it over my arm, I leveraged myself up to change the angle of my entry. With each animalistic thrust, I would grind against her clit. She was going to come before me, or I would die trying. Her breaths were whimpers as her eyes pleaded with me for release. My speed increased, and it was all I could do to hold off my own climax.
“Fuck, baby. Come. Come on my fucking cock. Jesus, I’m almost there. You feel so goddamned good. Come with me, right fucking now!” At my filthy words, I felt her slippery wet channel tighten and spasm around my cock, and I was done. The pleasure knotted in my spine, shooting up my body and through my cock. With a final, deep push, I roared out in absolute rapture.
Her unbelievably tight pussy was damn near strangling my dick, and the sensation became too much. With a lingering kiss, I slid out, feeling our combined fluids slip out with me. Whimpers were her response to her sudden emptiness. My semi-erect cock rested on her as I kissed her again.
“Don’t deny it, baby, you love it when I talk dirty to you.”
“Shit. I wouldn’t even try. Guess you wanted dessert first, huh?” she teased in a breathless voice. I smiled, laughed, and got up to walk to the bathroom.
“Let me just wash up really quick, and I’ll be ready to eat, baby. Unless you want to skip dinner and go for round two?”
She laughed and threw her pillow at me, hitting me in the face. “I worked hard on dinner for you!”
Chuckling, I went to the bathroom, wet a washcloth for her, tossing it to where she still lounged, boneless on the bed. A shriek escaped her as the wet rag landed on her belly.
“Oh my God, Mason! You’re going to pay for that!”
“I’m sure, and I can’t wait.” I laughed out. Her answering smirk was met by my own before I returned to the bathroom.
Lathering up my hands and arms, I rinsed the soap off in the sink and dried them with the towel hanging by the sink. Damn, I really was ready to skip dinner and drag her ass back to bed for another round.
When I sat at the table, she had already dished my plate and was setting it in front of me.
The first bite was a heavenly taste explosion, and I couldn’t hold in my moan. Damn, this was incredible. She sat watching me with her plump lip held tightly in her teeth. That’s when I noticed she hadn’t eaten a bite, but held a piece of the meat poised in midair as she watched me for my reaction.
“Holy shit, babe, this is amazing! You absolutely outdid yourself with this meal.” Her face flushed in obvious pleasure.
“Well, I have a confession… it’s one of Steph’s recipes. She brought it over today when I told her I was going to attempt this for you tonight.”
“Damn, it’s good. And, baby, I’m sorry about not waking you this morning, but I wanted you to be able to sleep in. How was your girl time today? Reaper said the kiddos were at Steph’s parents’ house for the weekend. What all did you girls do?” My mouth was dying for me to keep feeding it, so I wasn’t about to disappoint, and I shoveled the delicious food in like a starving man. The manners my mom taught me flew right out the damn window. When she didn’t answer, I looked up and thought she looked a little pale. She was just pushing her food around her plate.
“Umm, not much. We just talked and hung a few pictures. Ran to the store real quick. Nothing much.” My girl seemed off somehow. She was usually gutsy and bold, not this hesitant, quiet thing sitting across from me.
“Everything okay? You seem…. not like my usual feisty girl. You girls have a falling out?” Not that I could see that for a minute, but I was confused at the behavior this gorgeous woman of mine was showing me. It just seemed, well, not her. I was stumped. Shit, I hope she wasn’t still pissed at me. She didn’t seem like it, but who knew with women?
“No, everything was fine. I guess maybe I just slept like shit without you last night. I don’t want to do that again, Mason.” Her words were nearly a whisper at the end. She was still pushing her food around and looking down at it absently.
“Okay, baby. That is not a problem, because I slept like shit without you too.” I sat my silverware down so I could take her hand. My other hand tipped her chin to bring her face to mine. “Look at me, beautiful. When you are in my bed with me, you hold the nightmares at bay. I hadn’t had a single one since we started sleeping together, but last night it was… I don’t know… like the dreams knew I was alone, like they preyed on me in my weakest moment.” My free hand then ran through my hair and I closed my eyes, grasping my hair in my hand in an attempt to keep the memories of the dream from stealing into my head even now, while I was awake.
It was the God’s honest truth too about the dreams preying on me. They slipped in, stalking me when I was vulnerable. Then they ravaged my mind and body as I lay trapped in sleep. At least that was how it seemed, and I fucking hated it. That was something I tried to keep people from knowing. Being vulnerable, having a weakness… no one needed to know that shit.
She pulled my hand up to her mouth to press her lips to my fingers before letting me go, insisting I finish eating before the meal was cold. After I was done, I helped her clear the table and do up the dishes. What I was not ashamed to admit was I could have eaten three more helpings, but I knew I would regret that later when I was only good for sleeping. She melted in my arms when I held them open, and I kissed her before I smacked her playfully on the ass and told her I was getting in the shower to wash off the smell of sex and grease from the shop. Despite my invite to join me, she laughed, saying, “Babe, I need to start a load of laundry and put the leftovers away. Besides, you have already distracted me enough. You need to behave.”
“Never. And you know you love it.” Her laughter trickled over my body as I headed back to the bathroom.
My shower was quick because I needed to get my ass in gear if I wanted to have time to talk to her again before I cut out. Damn, I felt like a little chickenshit pussy, dreading telling her I was leaving again—and I still wouldn’t be able to tell her where I was going. After getting dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, I ran my fingers through my damp hair and called it good. Time to face the dragon. Beautiful though she may be, she was soon to be spitting fire.
She was sitting on the couch reading a book when I came downstairs. Damn if she didn’t look exactly as I pictured her when I first looked at this house. For a moment, I just stood there silently drinking her in. My heart gave a lurch at the beautiful sight she made. As if she sensed me in the doorway, her eyes raised to mind and a small smile curved her lips.
With a sigh, I sat down next to her and pulled her into my lap. She wrapped her arms around me, rubbing the tip of her nose against mine.
“Mmm, you smell good. Wanna run up to the Redbox and grab a movie?” she murmured as she kissed the corner of my mouth.
Well hell, here’s where shit goes bad.
“Yeah so, about that. I need to run out again. This is the last night this week though, baby, I promise. I wasn’t supposed to be tasked tonight, but Gunner is sick as shit. Trust me, if I could stay here, cuddled up with you, I would.” Her brow furrowed, and I felt her body tense in my arms.
“Then take me with you.” Her chin raised and her gaze bore into me, waiting for my reply.
Fuck.
“Baby, I can’t.” My head fell back to the couch, and I closed my eyes.
“You can’t or you won’t? What are you doing while you’re gone?” Yeah, this was gonna end as badly as I feared. My lips pressed together in frustration.
“I can’t.” Sitting up, I looked her in the eyes, silently begging her to let this drop.
“Oh, let me guess, ‘club business,’” she said, laced with sarcasm.
“Look, Becca, I told you when we moved in that there were going to be a lot of nights where I was going to be gone.” I wished she could just understand I wasn’t going out to fucking party. Shit.
“Then at least tell me where you’re going.” Her expression grew darker. Not a good sign. My head tipped back, and I released
a frustrated groan. Dammit!
“Baby, I can’t,” agonized out of me to the ceiling with my eyes closed. She was making this so fucking hard on me, but club business was club business, and there was no way I would betray my brothers or my club, no matter how much I loved her. Besides, if I told her I was at a fucking titty bar all week, I was pretty sure she would totally lose her shit on me. They may find my body in a shallow grave.
“Whatever. Fine. I guess I’ll see you when you get home then.” She jumped off the couch and stomped into the bedroom, slamming the door, much as I did last night. My hands scrubbed over my face in defeat. When my phone vibrated in my pocket, I pulled it out, swiping to answer.
“Yeah.”
“Don’t sound so happy to hear from me there, sexy. You ready to be my date tonight?” Reaper chuckled at what he obviously thought was his divine humor. Fucker.
“Man, screw you. Yeah, I’ll meet you at your place in fifteen.” At least tonight I was with Reaper. Even though I wasn’t in the mood for filling in for Gunny, he and I had been a team longer than any of us brothers, so it was a little like old times. We just understood each other and easily anticipated each other’s thoughts and moves.
With a heavy feeling of dread, I headed out after hollering through the locked bedroom door that I loved her. Her answer was a mumbled, “Yeah, right. Well, I love you too.”
Great. Well, I’m picking that damn lock if it’s still locked when I get home tonight.
FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER IF he thought I was sitting home like the nice dutiful little woman. What he didn’t know was I was changing in the locked bedroom. Because I was going to get to the bottom of this shit. He wasn’t going to just go out every night, coming home covered in cheap perfume and cheaper lipstick. Hell no. I was going to find out where the hell he was spending his nights.
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