by E. N. Joy
Margie and Bethany looked puzzled, while Terrance knew exactly what Mother Doreen was referring to. He’d read his mother’s journal seeking answers. But it hadn’t been enough.
“Okay, listen; it sounds like Mother Doreen is hellbent on going all the way to West Virginia to go see this man’s mother,” Margie said. “Mother Doreen, why don’t you ride in my car, and we just follow behind him?”
“Thank you for the offer, Pastor, but I trust riding with Terrance just fine.” Mother Doreen looked at him and cracked just a tiny smile. He looked away so that he wouldn’t have to acknowledge her smile. Mother Doreen was striving for reciprocity here. She wanted to show Terrance that she trusted him, so he could trust her in return.
Bethany threw her hands up, and then let them smack down to her side. “See? She’s lost her mind. We’re wasting our breath.”
“Wait, wait; I have another idea,” Margie interjected. “Mother Doreen, you go ahead and ride with Terrance. We’ll just follow behind you guys.”
“And I have something I can add to that,” Unique, who had been sitting quietly, finally said. “Pastor, you and Bethany follow behind Mother Doreen in your car, and I’ll just ride in the backseat with her and Terrance.” She shot Terrance the evil eye. “That way, if something pops off . . .” Unique slammed her fist into her palm a couple of times. “. . . I’ll have her back.”
“No, no, that won’t be necessary either,” Mother Doreen was quick to say. “Like I said, I’ll be just fine riding with Mr. Terrance. Now if you all want to follow behind, then there ain’t nothing I can do to stop you. But I’m ready to go.” She looked at Terrance. “Shall we?”
“Sure,” he nodded, still not 100 percent sure himself if this was a good idea.
“You just gonna leave just like that?” Bethany asked Mother Doreen. “I mean, you haven’t even talked to Pastor Frey yet. He’s been in that sanctuary on his knees since you left him standing at that altar. Now even Sister Deborah has joined him.”
Mother Doreen paused. “Good; leave them there. Because I got a feeling I’m going to need all the prayer I can get.” And with that, Mother Doreen followed Terrance out of the church and to his car.
Chapter Thirty-eight
The drive from Ohio to West Virginia was silent, in Terrance’s car anyway. Now in Margie’s car that followed behind them, that was a different story. Margie and Unique prayed out loud most of the time. Bethany did some praying too, but mostly slept, resting her body. That’s the only way her husband, Uriah, finally agreed to allow her to make the trip—if she promised to not be all worked up and rest her body.
Mother Doreen knew her sister and sisters in Christ were praying for her. She could feel it. There was no other explanation for how calm and relaxed her spirit and her mind were. There was no nervousness and no anxiety as she rode the entire time, finishing all but the last twenty pages or so of the journal.
“Well, here we are.” Terrance exhaled and threw the car in park after pulling up into the parking lot of the facility where his mother resided.
Mother Doreen admired the well kept lawn. “Wow, what lovely grounds,” she complimented. “Look at all the lovely flowers and the beautiful rosebushes.”
“Yeah, well, they don’t mean much when you can’t come outside, take them in, and enjoy them. When you can’t do that, well, I guess, they’re just like any old plant in the ground.” Terrance got out of the car. To Mother Doreen’s astonishment, he walked around and opened her door. She looked up at him with surprise. “Spite what you and your church folks think, I am a gentleman.”
Mother Doreen nodded and allowed him to help her out of the car. Just as he closed the door behind her, Bethany, Margie, and Unique came over.
“Whoa, all y’all not coming up in here.” Terrance held his hands up.
“The heck if we ain’t,” Unique spoke up. “No telling what you might do to her behind closed doors.”
“Look, if I wanted to do something stupid, I could have easily lost you all on the drive here,” Terrance countered.
“Well, we already know you’re capable of doing something stupid. You did that back at the church. It’s you doing something outright insane that gives me pause,” Unique shot back.
“I appreciate you all following along,” Mother Doreen interrupted, “but Terrance is right. I don’t think all of us going in there is going to be good for his mother. Why don’t you all go grab something to eat, or just stay out here or in the lobby or something, and pray?”
“We could have stayed back at the church with Deborah and Pastor Frey to pray.” Unique rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Or went with Paige to eat.”
Paige had stayed back in Malvonia because her blood sugar level had dropped and she needed to eat and get some rest.
“I think Mother Doreen is right.” Margie patted Unique on her shoulder to calm her down. “I’m sure this place has security and Mother Doreen will be okay. Let’s just go grab a bite, and then come back for Mother Doreen to drive her home.” Margie looked from one person to the next. “How does that sound to everybody ?”
All nodded in agreement, including Unique—reluctantly.
Each woman gave Mother Doreen a hug and retreated back to the car. Unique was the last to embrace Mother Doreen. After doing so, she cut her eyes at Terrance and reminded him, “Don’t forget; I will fight a man,” then joined the other women at the car.
“Oh, don’t pay her no never-mind,” Mother Doreen said to Terrance.
“Trust me, I’m not,” he assured her.
Terrance led the way up the walkway and into the building. Once inside, Mother Doreen admired the interior décor just as much as she had admired the exterior. A beautiful place indeed it was. Mother Doreen thought in her head how much Terrance must really love his mother in order to provide only the best for her. This place looked to be one of the best.
“Well, hello, Mr. T,” the woman at the sign-in desk said to Terrance as soon as she buzzed him through the double doors.
“Hello to you too, Rhoda.”
Rhoda looked down at her watch. “It’s kind of late for you to be visiting on a Saturday. I didn’t think you were going to make it in today.”
“Oh, yeah, well, I had some things I had to do today. But I’m here.”
“And we are so glad you are here indeed,” she blushed.
Mother Doreen stood back and watched the exchange take place between Rhoda and Terrance. It took a moment for Rhoda to take her eyes off of him and even notice that Mother Doreen was there.
“Oh, you brought someone with you?” The smile that had been plastered upon Rhoda’s face after seeing Terrance somewhat faded as her eyes darted back and forth between Mother Doreen and Terrance.
“Yes, I did.” Terrance turned to acknowledge Mother Doreen’s presence. He also noticed the questioning look on Rhoda’s face. “It’s okay.”
“Are you sure? Miss Casinoff isn’t used to any other visitors besides yourself. You know, ever since your grandmother passed, you’ve been the only one to come visit her.”
“Yes, I’m sure, Rhoda. Thanks for your concern, though.”
“Well, all right. You know the drill. I just need the two of you to sign is all.”
Terrance signed in, then moved to the side so Mother Doreen could do the same. Afterward, Rhoda hit a button. There was a buzzing sound, and another set of double doors opened for them.
“Thanks, Rhoda,” Terrance said as he and Mother Doreen made their way through the doors.
“No problem, Mr. Terrance,” Rhoda smiled. “No problem at all.”
Terrance led the way down the corridor.
“She seems like a fine woman,” Mother Doreen spoke, referring to Rhoda.
“Oh, who, Rhoda?” Terrance played it off. “Yeah, she’s good peoples. She’s been a good friend to me and my mother during all the years my mother has been here.”
“She seems nice. And it seems like she wouldn’t mind being a little more than just a friend to you.”
Terrance shrugged as if he hadn’t noticed Rhoda’s huge smile toward him and all her blushing.
“And with good reason too. You’re not too bad looking of a fellow. Remind me a lot of my Willie back in the day. Oh, the way he could get the girls to go crazy for him without even trying.”
Terrance stopped in his track and turned to face Mother Doreen. “Yeah, tell me about it—Drive ’Em Crazy Willie. That should have been his nickname.”
Mother Doreen covered her mouth. “Oh goodness. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Her last comment gave Terrance second thoughts. “I’m not sure if this is such a good idea after all. What if you say something in there that pushed my mother away even deeper?” He shook his head. “I’d never forgive myself if—”
Mother Doreen interrupted him, resting her hand on his shoulder. “I promise you, I’ll leave my flesh right out here in this hallway. I’ll let my every word be directed by the Holy Spirit. What I just said a second ago, I honestly didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I’m sure you didn’t, but—”
Again, Mother Doreen cut him off. She would not allow him to talk himself out of the decision he’d made to allow her to come see his mother. “You said you’d do anything to try to get your mother back right again.”
“But the doctors have already tried so much.” Doubt laced Terrance’s every word and was the only expression on his face.
“Then let me try what they probably have not. Let me try Jesus.”
The name of Jesus must have certainly had power, because Terrance turned and continued leading the way. “Well, this is it. This is my mother’s room.”
Mother Doreen looked up at the door to see the name Lauren Casinoff written on a piece of white stock paper inserted in a slot.
“Are you okay?” Terrance asked with concern after he saw the color drain from Mother Doreen’s face as she stared at the door.
At first, Mother Doreen didn’t respond. She just held her chest and tried to catch her breath. Finally she was able to compose herself. “Yes, I’m okay. I’m fine.”
“Then are you ready to go in?” Terrance asked.
Inhaling a deep breath, Mother Doreen replied, “Yes; as ready as I’ll ever be.” And on that note, Terrance opened the door, and once again, Mother Doreen found herself walking into room 111 where Lauren Casinoff would once again be on the other side in bed.
Chapter Thirty-nine
“Momma? Momma, it’s me, Terrance,” he said upon entering the room. He looked over his shoulder and held his hand up for Mother Doreen to stay put where she stood, which was in the doorway. Terrance slowly crept over to his mother.
Mother Doreen couldn’t see Lauren’s face. She was lying in the bed facing the window opposite the direction of the door. The television was programmed to the Oprah Winfrey Network.
Mother Doreen looked around the quaint little room. She looked everywhere but at Lauren. During her visual tour she concluded that the room was nice and cozy. The bed was queen sized. A nice comfy-looking chair sat on each side of the bed. Over by the window was a couch with a coffee table. Next to the couch was an end table with a lamp on it and a Gideon Bible that in a lot of places served more as décor than a spiritual weapon. The Bible looked as though it had never been touched so Mother Doreen assumed it was for décor. Besides, according to Terrance, his mother probably didn’t do much reading.
There was a closet and private bathroom as well. It was quite roomy if Mother Doreen didn’t say so herself. She made note of each and every detail in the room. She wasn’t big on designing or anything. Her sudden interest in eyeballing every corner of the room was to avoid eyeballing its occupant.
“Momma, there is someone here who would like to see you,” Mother Doreen heard Terrance say and knew it was only a matter of seconds before she could avoid eye contact no longer.
An encounter was about to take place; one Mother Doreen never imagined would. She never thought for one moment she’d have the opportunity to ever do what she was about to do today: ask Lauren Casinoff for her forgiveness.
“Is that okay, Momma?” Terrance asked his mother while he simultaneously signaled with his hand for Mother Doreen to step to his mother’s bedside.
Mother Doreen took one step toward the bed. It was the hardest step she could ever remember taking. Just hours ago she’d glided down the aisle of her church sanctuary with ease in a failed effort to say, “I do,” to being Pastor Frey’s wife. Now just taking one step was difficult. It was like she wasn’t sure whether she could balance or not. If this was anything like a baby learning to take its first step, Mother Doreen wondered how they ever learned to walk.
Terrance swished his hand to hurry Mother Doreen along as if he wanted to get this over with just as much as she did. Mother Doreen picked up the pace until she finally stood next to him.
“See, Momma, look who’s here. Do you know who this woman is?” Terrance asked Lauren.
Lauren’s eyes were still fixed on the window. Finally looking at the woman, Mother Doreen could see a longing in her eyes as they stared out the window. They seemed to have such a longing; a longing for what was outside of that window. Fresh air. A blue sky. Green grass. Flowers. Life. Freedom. Yes! That was it. That was what Mother Doreen saw. A longing to be free, for behind Lauren’s eyes was such bondage. Mother Doreen knew all about that.
Terrance nodded to Mother Doreen, his eyes asking her to speak words—to say something to his mother.
Mother Doreen cleared her throat. “Hello, uh, hi, Lauren.”
There was no response. Lauren just lay there continuing her visual plight on the outside world.
Terrance gently pulled Mother Doreen by the arm and stepped aside so that now Mother Doreen was blocking Lauren’s view of the window. Now Lauren had no choice but to look at Mother Doreen.
That moment—the moment Lauren lifted her eyes and they locked with Mother Doreen’s, Mother Doreen thought she was going to fall out right then and there and end up being Lauren’s neighbor in that place. The energy that generated just from eye contact was overwhelming to Mother Doreen. All the while, Lauren seemed to be unfazed.
“Hi, Lauren,” Mother Doreen spoke again. “You, you might not remember me.” She swallowed hard. “But my name is Doreen Tucker. I was Willie’s wife.”
Mother Doreen didn’t know if it was the mention of her name or Willie’s that made Lauren’s eyes light up like a lightbulb. All of a sudden, her hand began to flap up and down. Terrance bumped by Mother Doreen to attend to his mother.
“What? What is it, Momma? Is everything okay?” Terrance asked as his mother continued to flail her hand even faster. He looked at Mother Doreen, then back at his mother. “Is it her? Are you upset?” Still, all Lauren did was flail her hand. Terrance stood up and spoke to Mother Doreen. “I knew this wasn’t a good idea. I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” he said, his eyes blaming Mother Doreen for upsetting his mother. “I hate that you came all this way, but I think you better find your friends and go.”
“Ummph, ummph.”
Both Mother Doreen and Terrance looked at Lauren, who was struggling to make moaning sounds.
Terrance rushed back down to her side. “Momma?” Mother Doreen could see the elation in Terrance’s actions. She could tell that this was probably the most reaction he had gotten from his mother in a very long time. Although it wasn’t much, he was willing to take it.
“Ummmph, ummph,” Lauren continued to moan, now gripping Terrance’s fingers on his hand that he’d placed around hers.
Terrance looked at his mother intently as if someone had harmed her. Was she on her last breath and about to tell him who’d done it? “What, Mom? Please.”
“Nnnnnn . . .” Lauren swallowed hard and was finally able to say something that both Terrance and Mother Doreen could understand. “No.” She then looked from her son to Mother Doreen. “No. Sttttttttttttttttt—stay.” She exhaled as if it had taken every breat
h in her body just to get those words out.
Mother Doreen watched as Terrance’s shoulders began to heave up and down. He buried his face in his mother’s bed to avoid them seeing the tears fall from his eyes. Hearing his mother speak after all these years—finally hearing her voice—had moved him beyond measure.
“Ohhhhh . . . k-k-k-k-kay.” Lauren removed her hand from Terrance’s, breathing heavily after forcing that last word out. She rested it on his head. It no longer flailed wildly, but now gently patted his head. “Ohhhhh . . . kah-kay. Iiiit-OK . . . ssssssssss-son,” she pushed out, which only made Terrance break down now so that he could no longer hide his emotions. His weeping filled the room.
At first, Mother Doreen didn’t know what to do. She felt as though she was invading this special mother-son moment. So she did what she knew worked in every situation; she began to pray. Softly, Mother Doreen allowed words of prayer to flow from her lips. Her words could barely be heard. She was sure that the other occupants in the room were so engaged in each other that they didn’t even hear her. Didn’t notice her. Didn’t even recall she was still in the room.
Figuring that perhaps this wasn’t the right time to be there, she began to step backward in order to make a quiet exit while still praying. She had barely lifted her foot to take her first step backward when Lauren faintly spoke a word Mother Doreen could not understand. She looked at Terrance to see if he understood what she’d said since he was closer to her.
“She said, ‘No,’” Terrance relayed to Mother Doreen, and then looked back at his mother. “No, what?” He wanted to be sure what his mother meant.
“No . . . leeeavve. Puuuhhh . . . puhleaze stay.” She swallowed again, out of breath, as if speaking each word was like running a marathon. “Tttttttttt . . .” she struggled. “Need ta . . . ta . . . talk . . . youuuuu.”
Terrance wiped his tears and sniffed as he stood up. “Looks like she does want you here—wants to talk to you.”
Mother Doreen nodded and reversed her step forward again.
Lauren looked at her son, then back at Mother Doreen again. She then looked back at her son.