Dark Heart Surrender

by Lee Monroe

  Not everyone had good families.

  I stroked Luca’s dark hair, careful not to wake him, and let my eyes wander over to the window. The moon was nearly full – not quite – but nearly full. I glanced back at Luca fearfully. It was not the time for him to contend with a full moon. He had managed so far, disappearing to turn. He had mastered the art of creeping quietly back into the house when it was over, appearing in the mornings, shadowy and weak. My mother tactfully and cleverly diverted Dad’s and Dot’s attention with small talk, but we both had our hearts in our mouths, wondering at something so violent, so beastly, that was happening to Luca alone. He was so far from home, yet drawn back to his roots, the animal within him would never leave.

  Could we sustain this life, he and I?

  I shut my eyes, pushing out the future, which seemed so riddled with Luca’s past. It wasn’t his fault, and I would take him, all of him, because I had no choice. And life, people, weren’t perfect.

  But sometimes … sometimes I just wanted a normal boyfriend.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  The waiting room was packed with mothers and children, pensioners sniffing into their handkerchiefs and hospital staff rushing through, clipboards in hand.

  Luca approached the receptionist, who was simultaneously tapping at her computer keyboard and talking on the phone.

  ‘I hope he’s OK,’ I whispered. Like most people, I hated hospitals. It’s that anxious claustrophobia, the smell of overcooked food, and sick people, of course. But on top of that I had this queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don’t know why I felt such doom, but I couldn’t shake it.

  Luca squeezed my hand, just as the receptionist got off the phone.

  ‘We’ve come to see Pete Henshaw,’ said Luca. ‘He was admitted last night.’

  The receptionist rolled the gum in her mouth.

  ‘Pete Henshaw.’ She commenced tapping on the keyboard again and we watched as her eyes narrowed, then a faint frown appeared on her face.

  ‘Oh…I…’ She looked up at us. ‘Hold on for one minute, please.’

  Taking the gum out of her mouth and flicking it in the bin, she gave us a worried look before moving to speak to an officious-looking senior nurse. Luca and I watched them talk, and then the nurse looked over at us, a perturbed look on her face.

  ‘What’s going on?’ I murmured. ‘What are they talking about?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Luca looked tense too. The nurse was approaching us.

  ‘You’re relatives of Mr Henshaw?’ She eyed us, her face softening slightly.

  ‘No. He’s my boss …’ Luca started.

  ‘And a family friend,’ I added quickly, knowing how the bureaucracy worked in these places. ‘We’re very close to Mr Henshaw.’

  ‘OK.’ The nurse removed her glasses. ‘I’m sure that’s true, but …’ She looked briefly around her at the hustle and bustle. ‘Come with me a minute. We can talk more privately.’ She moved around the reception booth, smiling more kindly now, then gestured for us to follow her to an empty room off the waiting area.

  I concentrated on her sensible black shoes. The feeling of doom was increasing by the second.

  Once we were inside, the nurse closed the door and touched her hair nervously. ‘You want to sit down?’ she asked in an almost pleading tone.

  ‘No thanks.’ Luca sounded curt. ‘Is Pete all right? He should be coming home today, isn’t that right?’

  ‘Mr Henshaw is not doing well.’ She tilted her head to the side in a sympathetic pose. ‘He is not recovering as he should be. Overnight he slipped into a state of unconsciousness.’

  ‘A coma, you mean?’ The doomed feeling grew until it felt like it was taking up the whole of my insides. ‘But how? He just fell over, right? I mean, there were no serious injuries …’

  ‘No. But with men of his age – often the most simple of injuries can result in complications. Sometimes there are underlying illnesses that impede recovery.’ She trailed off, seeing the incomprehension on our faces.

  ‘I believe his daughter is on her way in to see him.’ The nurse’s tone became more efficient. ‘And his grandchildren.’

  Luca shut his eyes. ‘Thanks for letting us know. We’ll leave his family to it.’

  ‘I’m sure, since he’s a family friend that they won’t object if you wait for them to arrive.’ The nurse reached out for the door handle.

  ‘No,’ Luca said abruptly. ‘That’s OK. This is a private time. We’ll come back later.’

  The nurse hesitated, biting her lip before speaking again. ‘Don’t leave it too long,’ she said. ‘He’s very weak.’ With an attempt at a warm smile, she opened the door, leaving us rooted to the spot.

  As soon as the door had closed behind her, I let out a deep breath.

  ‘I thought Pete was getting better,’ I murmured. ‘Dad said he was fine.’

  Luca sat down on one of the two uncomfortable-looking chairs in the room, chairs designed to compound the anxiety of anyone who used them.

  ‘Luca?’ I frowned. ‘Don’t you think this is ridiculous?’

  He shook his head slowly. ‘I knew something wasn’t right. Pete might not be a young man, but he’s fit and strong for his age. And he was just lying there – ’ he glanced up at me ‘ – as though he had been overwhelmed by something …’

  ‘It does seem really odd.’ I sank down in the chair next to him, wincing at the hard plastic. Maybe we should stick around?’

  Luca nodded, then looked past at me through the window in the door. A woman in her early forties was anxiously tying and untying the belt on her coat, as she stood talking to a man in scrubs. Next to her, a man rubbed her back comfortingly. And behind him stood two familiar figures.

  Ade and Polly.

  ‘Well.’ I puffed out my cheeks. ‘Looks like there’s no escape now. We have to face them. That must be Pete’s daughter.’

  ‘Poor Pete,’ whispered Luca. ‘He doesn’t deserve this.’ He looked down at the floor and I saw the ridges of stress indented in his forehead.

  ‘Come on,’ I said, getting up. ‘This could be our last chance.’

  Polly’s face darkened as she saw me approach. Her hair was tangled and the make-up round her eyes was smudgy. She’d been crying. I could see that even at this distance. As we got closer, she lifted her hand to her face, rubbing at one eye. If I had been feeling in a less compassionate mood, I would have said it was a deliberate gesture, intended to convince everyone around her that she was deeply upset.

  But I was feeling compassionate. Give her the benefit of the doubt, I told myself.

  The doctor had finished talking to them and was moving away, so Luca stepped forward, ignoring the numb figure of Ade, and put his hand out to Pete’s daughter.

  ‘I’m Luca,’ he said, smiling reassuringly at her. ‘I worked – work – for Pete,’ he told her. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  She stared at his hand. ‘What are you doing here?’ Her eyes flickered at me. ‘This is family business.’

  ‘I know,’ I intervened. ‘But Luca was there when it happened. He – we – wanted to see that Pete’s OK.’

  ‘Yes.’ She straightened up, and her arm slipped through her husband’s in a fortifying gesture. ‘I know you were there. And you’ve got some nerve coming here.’

  I caught Ade’s eye, thought I saw a brief look of satisfaction in his face, and watched as he moved closer to his sister. The two of them observed us almost petulantly.

  ‘I don’t understand,’ Luca said. ‘I’m distressed for Pete. I wish there was something I could have done.’

  ‘Really?’ She sniffed. ‘More than you have already, you mean?’

  ‘But Luca had nothing to do with the accident,’ I said, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. ‘There was nothing anyone could have done.’

  ‘From what my son tells me, your boyfriend is not an ideal employee,’ she said coldly. ‘In fact, he’s got a bit of a temper on him from all accounts—’

  ‘From
all accounts!’ I spluttered. ‘You mean from one account?’

  Ade rolled his head just slightly trying to look self-effacing, genuine.

  ‘I never said Luca was capable of killing anybody,’ he said calmly. ‘It’s just … well, my first encounter with him was a little hostile. Don’t you think?’

  ‘Because you’re an asshole,’ I blurted, immediately closing my eyes. This was not the place to trade insults. Though it was certainly the time.

  ‘Jane,’ Luca calmed me softly. ‘Ade’s upset. We’re all upset.’

  ‘You.’ Pete’s daughter pointed rudely at him. ‘You have no right to be upset!’

  ‘Lydia.’ Her husband put his arm around her. ‘Just leave it. Don’t you want to see your father?’

  She opened her mouth, not finished yet. But sense prevailed. ‘Yes.’ She drew back her shoulders, shaking her husband’s arm off her. ‘Yes. I want to see my father.’

  ‘Well then.’ He nodded at us curtly, and we stepped aside as they walked on, Ade and Polly following as though they were a couple of innocents.

  ‘That was unbelievable,’ I breathed as they moved further down the corridor, heading for Pete’s room. ‘That they could think you had anything to do with Pete’s accident.’ I stared at him. ‘And I can’t believe you just stood there and took it.’

  Luca looked shocked and paler than ever.

  ‘People say things,’ he said quietly. ‘When they’re upset they just want someone to blame.’

  ‘But it’s outrageous. Ade has told her a pack of lies.’

  ‘I don’t know. Maybe he does see me as hostile.’ Luca looked defeated.

  ‘But he provoked you all night.’

  ‘Yes.’ Luca hesitated, before turning to look me in the eyes. ‘But the truth is that from the moment I saw him I felt this aggression, this defensiveness. He didn’t need to open his mouth. It was already there.’

  ‘Oh.’ I stared back at him. ‘Well, maybe your senses told you he was a jerk. And you were right.’

  ‘No. It was more than that. It was deeper. It was … animal, almost.’

  ‘Animal instinct,’ I murmured.

  ‘I don’t trust myself around him. What I am capable of … Things I don’t even realize I am doing.’

  ‘What are you trying to say, Luca? Are you saying you did have something to do with Pete’s accident and you just kind of forgot about it until now?’

  His eyes were heavy when he answered. ‘Honestly … I don’t know.’

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  ‘There’s post.’ Mrs Jonas appeared in the kitchen doorway. ‘Mostly junk and bills, but there’s one for you, Luca.’ She handed him a formal-looking white envelope.

  ‘Thanks.’ Luca took it, confused. ‘I’ve never received post before – well, not here anyway.’

  She smiled, dumping the rest of the letters on the table and looking up at the clock. ‘I have to run, I have some errands to see to. Jack is away all day. Can you make sure you lock up before you go into work?’

  ‘Of course. I am not sure whether I’ll be going in to work, anyway,’ he told her, the events of the day before – at the hospital – still fresh in his mind.

  ‘I’m sure Pete will need things doing. How was he when you looked in yesterday?’

  Luca hesitated. He and Jane had decided not to say anything when they’d got back to the house. The subject had run dry between them. They had been lost in their own thoughts. A little shocked.

  ‘He’s fine,’ Luca lied to her now, not wanting to get into it. ‘I’m going back in again today.’ He smiled weakly, frankly not sure what he would find if he did go there. ‘He could be home soon.’

  ‘That’s great.’ Anna picked up her bag and her keys. ‘Give him my best when you see him.’

  The door slammed behind her and Luca was left alone in the house, the envelope still in his hands. He forced himself to open it.

  Luca

  Given the circumstances, we feel it is best that you do not continue to work at Pete’s yard. If his condition deteriorates further we will be seeking legal advice on closing down the business and possibly a private sale.

  In addition, we will be seeking advice on investigation into any part you played in Pete’s accident. If the accident proves to be fatal, you realize the consequences for you will be serious.

  In the meantime, please post your keys through the yard door.

  I will be in touch in due course.

  Lydia Ellis (Henshaw)

  Luca felt strangely relieved and heavy-hearted at the same time. He didn’t ever have to go back to that place. But he was also being accused of something he would never do. Not if he were in his right mind, anyway.

  He looked at the phone, desperately wanting to talk to Jane, but thinking it was better not to drop this news on her when she was at college. It was tricky enough for her there as it was.

  Instead he had a long bath, trying to empty his mind, listening to the soothing sounds of the trees rustling and the birds outside. When he dressed afterwards something fell out of the pockets of his jeans as he pulled them on.

  It was the small plastic bag, with the necklace still inside it. He crouched, holding it in his hand, and all the good work that the bath had done disappeared.

  The necklace. The sounds in the hut. Pete’s accident … and Ade’s intent on proving him guilty somehow. It was all connected. He was sure of that.

  But it was Luca’s words – his unique sense of danger – against Ade’s accusations. It didn’t look good for him. The only person who believed in him, who knew he wasn’t capable of deliberately and maliciously hurting anyone or anything, was Jane.

  Unless Ade worked his sinister magic on her, too.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  I was determined to keep it together at college. Keep my head down and concentrate on getting on with what I was there for – my coursework. I just hoped Polly would be off, on compassionate leave or whatever. She was the last person I wanted to face.

  As soon as I arrived I made a beeline for Ashley and Emma, who were chatting by their lockers.

  I poked Emma in the back.

  ‘Hey,’ I said. ‘Long time no see.’

  They both turned around.

  ‘Hey! We thought you’d dropped us,’ said Ashley good-naturedly. ‘You’ve been distant lately.’ She put her hand on my arm. ‘Is everything OK?’

  ‘Of course,’ I said brightly. ‘And I’m sorry. I kind of got caught up in my own stuff and Mrs Connelly keeps on at me about my mentoring.’ I shook my head. ‘I think it all got a bit much.’

  ‘No probs.’ Ashley closed her locker and ran a hand through her hair. ‘But we heard you fainted.’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘We were worried.’

  ‘Stress, I think.’ My tone was dismissive. ‘But enough about me. What’s been happening with you two? Any gossip to report?’

  Ashley and Emma exchanged a secretive look.

  ‘Spill,’ I said sternly.

  ‘Ashley’s got a boyfriend,’ said Polly.

  ‘Really? Who?’ My eyes flew from one twin to the other. ‘Anyone I know?’

  ‘Well, yeah,’ Ashley said coyly. ‘It’s Ade.’

  My mouth hung open for a few seconds, before I recovered. ‘But, I thought …’

  ‘Yeah. He was a pig that night. But he explained that he gets nervous and it comes over as … like … just a bit rude. But he doesn’t mean to be. And honestly, he’s been so amazing. Treating me like a princess.’ Ashley’s cheeks were flushed with excitement. ‘I think I’m in love.’ She stopped talking and both girls looked at me expectantly.

  ‘That’s great.’ I fought to hide my shock. ‘I’m glad he’s treating you well. So he should.’

  Ashley smiled. ‘Thanks for hooking us up. I know it didn’t seem like such a good idea on our first date. But you know, I’m hoping we can spend time with you and Luca again. Ade really wants to get to know him better.’

  ‘Really?’ This time I couldn’t stop my eye
s narrowing. ‘Is that so?’

  Ashley stopped fiddling with her hair and crossed her arms over her chest. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘Well, if Ade wants to be friends with Luca, he’s got a funny way of showing it.’ I sighed. I really hadn’t wanted to think about the odious Ade today, but I wasn’t going to let him pull the wool over Ashley’s eyes.

  ‘Look.’ Ashley glanced quickly at Emma. ‘I like Luca and all. But you know he is kind of intense and moody.’

  ‘He’s not—’ I stopped. Hadn’t I heard Dot say exactly the same thing the day before? ‘He doesn’t mean to be like that. He’s just serious. And thoughtful.’ I tried to smile at Ashley. ‘He’s a very good person.’

  ‘If you say so.’ Ashley looked at her watch. ‘I’ve got to go.’

  ‘Me too,’ Emma said, looking uncomfortable. ‘It was nice seeing you, Jane.’

  ‘You too.’ I tried to make eye contact with Ashley but she was avoiding it. I pushed my bag higher on my shoulder instead and exhaled. ‘Well, let’s do something. The three of us. A movie, or—’

  ‘Cool,’ said Emma, biting her lip awkwardly.

  ‘Yeah, cool,’ Ashley echoed, brushing past me. ‘If you can get down off your moral high ground, that is.’

  ‘Ashley!’ But she already had her back to me, linking arms with her sister, on her way to her next class.

  I watched them walk away for a few seconds, before I moved towards my locker, robotically unlocking it and taking out some books. It felt like everything I thought was right was wrong.

  Was Luca wrong too?

  I sat through Art barely taking anything in. I couldn’t get rid of the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I drifted zombie-like to History, only coming to when my phone rang from my pocket.

  ‘Hey.’ It was Luca. ‘How are you doing?’

  I glanced at the crowd of students squeezing through the door to the classroom and turned away from them, retracing my steps down the corridor. ‘You know … a little shaken up from yesterday and tired. But I guess I’m OK.’