Dark Heart Surrender

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Dark Heart Surrender Page 12

by Lee Monroe


  ‘Who is it?’

  There was a second or two of silence, then, ‘It’s Polly Ellis – a friend of yours from college?’

  I frowned harder. ‘Oh. Tell her I’m asleep or something.’

  Mum appeared in the doorway. ‘That’s rude, sweetheart. She knows I’m talking to you.’ She had her hand over the receiver and was giving me a censorious look.

  I held out my hand for the phone. ‘OK,’ I sighed. ‘Thanks, Mum.’

  ‘Hey.’ Polly’s voice was unnaturally chirpy. ‘Just calling to see how you’re doing.’

  ‘Erm …’ I shifted, glancing at Luca who was now most definitely asleep next to me. ‘Why?’

  ‘Well, I think I might have come across a little strong this afternoon,’ she went on. ‘You know, a little aggressive.’

  ‘A little.’ I shook my head; strangely the events of the afternoon had evaporated into a haze. ‘But maybe I was a little hostile, too.’

  ‘Yeah,’ she cooed. ‘You have a lot on your mind right now. I feel bad that I made everything worse.’

  I screwed up my nose, trying to remember exactly what we’d said to each other, but for the life of me, all I could remember was a spat. Like two cats arching their backs or something.

  ‘Forget it,’ I said. ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘It does. And I know Ade feels terrible too.’

  ‘Yeah, well. Let’s just put it behind us,’ I told her. ‘I get that the two of you are trying to make amends.’

  ‘Oh good.’ She sounded relieved. ‘Because I know it means a lot to him that you think well of him. He really likes you.’

  ‘Yeah.’ I moved up and off the sofa, away from Luca. ‘Well, I appreciate it.’

  ‘Do you?’ she said, more sharply. ‘Because it is really important that you know how he feels.’

  I fell silent, a whooshing sound in my head. Exhaustion, no doubt.

  ‘Jane? You do know how he feels, don’t you?’

  ‘I … Uh …’ I blinked and my eyelashes felt like lead. ‘Yeah, I know …’

  ‘So … that’s great.’ Polly took an audible intake of breath, like she was smoking a joint, or trying to sound like she was. ‘Shall we start over, build a bridge?’

  ‘Of course.’ I checked back on Luca, whose head had dropped in sleep. ‘I’ll see you at college. Bye, Polly.’

  It wasn’t until I drifted off to sleep that night that her words came back to me: ‘You do know how he feels, don’t you?’ And the ambiguity that was so obvious now made me sit bolt upright, sending Bobby skittering off the bed in fright. He set about a low moan from his new position on the floor.

  ‘Sorry,’ I whispered, not wanting to wake Luca. Bobby eyed me suspiciously. Holding my hand out to stroke his ear reassuringly, I got out of bed as quietly as possible and padded over to the window. I looked out at the calm of the night. The moon was almost full. Tomorrow Luca would disappear. The timing was bad. I didn’t know what I thought from one moment to the next. Ade and Polly were bad news … then they were just a couple of messed-up kids. But Luca wasn’t fuzzy about anything. I knew that.

  I pushed some clothes off the chair by the window to sit down and they fell into a heap, something rolling out of a pocket. Sighing, I bent to pick up a pair of jeans – Luca’s – and groped for whatever it was: some coins and a small plastic package. For a second, the contents gleamed in the moonlight and I recognized the necklace Luca had shown me what seemed like weeks before. Dirty but still just gold. I shuddered. We never did find out what the deal was with the necklace. But it seemed like Luca had been carrying it around with him.

  Still holding the bag, I sat back on the chair, tucking my legs underneath me. I let the chain slither out on to my palm and saw how delicate it was. It looked valuable too. Proper gold. How had it come to be lying in that stinking hut, miles from anywhere? What girl in their right mind would take a walk around the old training ground?

  I put it back in its bag, picked up Luca’s jeans and shoved it in the pocket. I carefully laid the jeans over the chair and leaned back, shivering slightly in the cool of the bedroom.

  Nothing really made sense at the moment. Looking over at the sleeping boy in my bed, I realized that something had already come between Luca and me, something that neither of us could explain. Not yet, anyway.

  Could that be the most dangerous threat of all?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  When he opened the door to see her standing there, his heart sank. Had she come to haul him over the coals again? Luca steeled himself, but Lydia’s expression wasn’t hostile. It was awkward, but not unfriendly.

  ‘Is your … is Mrs Jonas in?’ she asked in a quiet voice.

  ‘Uh … No. Sorry – just me.’ Luca realized he still had his hand on the door and Lydia Ellis was still on the doorstep. He let go. ‘But if you want to come in and wait, Anna’s only gone to the shops …’

  ‘Thank you, but …’ She hesitated. ‘It was you I came to see.’

  ‘Oh.’ He pushed the door wider open. ‘OK …’

  Lydia Ellis stepped through into the hall, looking around. ‘What a nice home,’ she said, a little wistfully. ‘Cozy.’

  ‘Yes. Yes, it is.’ Luca smiled warily. ‘Come through to the kitchen. I can make some tea.’

  ‘I won’t stop long. But that would be nice.’ She looked at him then and appeared to relax slightly.

  In the kitchen, she sat at the table while Luca waited for the kettle to boil. He wasn’t great at making tea – well, not the kind of pitch-strong tea that mortals drank. He added another teabag to the two already in the pot, to be on the safe side.

  Lydia cleared her throat behind him, and turning slightly, he saw her stroking Bobby’s ears. ‘Beautiful boy,’ she murmured gently. Watching, Luca felt such a wave of sadness coming from her, he felt humbled. The poor woman’s father was at death’s door. He didn’t blame her for hating him.

  He carried two mugs of tea over and sat down opposite her.

  ‘I’m not much good at making tea.’ He pushed hers towards her, along with the sugar bowl. ‘I won’t be offended if it’s not to your taste.’

  ‘I’m sure it’s fine.’ She took a sip and her eyes tilted up towards his, a spark of warmth, reassurance there. ‘Perfect,’ she said, setting the mug down again. He noticed how drawn she looked and the faint tremor in her hands.

  ‘I have talked to Adrian,’ she began. ‘And he feels … he has made me see that I have been too quick to judge you – to rob you of your job.’ She stopped, sighing. ‘Though what will become of the business heaven knows.’

  ‘How is Pete?’ Luca said quickly. ‘Is he any better?’

  Lydia shook her head. ‘No. He is barely there.’ She swallowed and for one tense moment Luca thought she would burst into tears. But she recovered herself, straightening in her chair and meeting his eye.

  ‘He’s been such a good father,’ she said then, shakily. ‘So patient and kind. God knows he has had to put up with a lot the last few years. I think I took him for granted.’

  ‘I’m sure not,’ Luca said carefully. ‘He has always spoken so fondly of his family. You mean so much to him – all of you.’

  ‘Yes … yes … He dotes on those children, of course.’ Lydia sniffed. ‘A little too much perhaps.’

  Luca was silent, interested.

  ‘We tried for so long to have our own.’ Lydia was talking into space, her gaze had moved away from Luca. She stared out of the kitchen window. ‘Because of what had happened with Eva—’

  ‘Eva?’ Luca asked.

  ‘Yes – my sister. She had a baby when she was a teenager. So young …’ Lydia’s voice was barely louder than a whisper now, as though telling him this was somehow forbidden, as though someone was listening who shouldn’t be. ‘The child was adopted. Eva went away, and then she came back and everything had been done. All the arrangements had been made. She was sweet, innocent Eva again.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Luca said. ‘I didn’t kno
w.’

  Lydia twitched. She seemed to be having some kind of internal struggle, looking for a moment flustered, almost cross.

  ‘I’m not sure why I am telling you this …’ Her tone was abrupt. ‘I hardly know you.’

  ‘Perhaps you need a stranger to talk to?’ he suggested. ‘Someone unconnected to your life. But someone who knows Pete?’

  She brightened then, looking more relaxed. ‘Yes. It is a relief. Things at home are always so intense. Ever since the children came into our lives … It has been difficult to think straight.’ She frowned. ‘I don’t know why.’

  Luca had a pretty good idea why. Ade and Polly had forceful personalities, to say the least. And Lydia did seem a timid kind.

  ‘We wanted to adopt Eva’s baby, my husband and I,’ Lydia went on. ‘We begged her to let us. But it was too late.’

  ‘How long ago was this?’ Luca sat forward.

  ‘Oh, a long time. I forget how long …’ she said vaguely. ‘The child, wherever she is, will be around fifteen now.’ Lydia looked down at her mug. ‘The strange thing is, last time I saw Eva she said she was certain that the child had tried to contact her. She had been receiving phone calls at odd times and, when she answered, the caller hung up. Probably wishful thinking.’ She looked up. ‘I think Eva regrets what happened. She’s completely estranged from us now. Punishing my parents for what they did – making her give up the child. That child was her only chance.’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ Luca said gently, not wanting to discourage her from talking more. ‘What do you mean “her only chance”?’

  ‘Well, she can’t have any more children.’ Lydia shrugged. ‘Like me … We are cursed, the two of us.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Luca said uncomfortably. ‘But you have Ade and Polly.’

  ‘Yes. Oh yes …’ She brightened just a touch. ‘And I am so grateful to be a mother. Though it hasn’t been easy. They run rings around me, I’m afraid.’

  Luca smiled wryly. Not just you, he thought, they run rings around everybody.

  ‘And they have always been odd with Eva,’ Lydia went on absently. ‘I don’t know why. My husband says they are just very protective of me. But I don’t know, sometimes, they can be so … wild.’

  ‘Wild.’ Luca swallowed. He pushed his mug carefully away from him.

  ‘Yes, when they were very young we had a real struggle. They wouldn’t talk to us, only ever wanted to be together. One seemed to know instinctively where the other was – or how they were feeling.’

  ‘Well, they say that happens with brother and sister. Twins are often in sync like that, aren’t they?’ Luca was careful to say all the right things. What good would it do to alarm Lydia? The poor woman looked frightened enough as it was.

  ‘They’re not twins,’ she snapped, irritated. ‘Why does everyone always think that?’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Luca said. ‘I didn’t mean to—’

  ‘I must go,’ she said abruptly, getting to her feet. ‘I only really came to tell you that you could keep your job. And I’m sorry for how I was at the hospital. I get a little muddled sometimes.’ She stopped, as though regretting speaking, and picked up her bag.

  ‘I’ll get your coat,’ said Luca.

  When he returned with it, he found her dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. ‘Mrs Ellis? Are you all right?’

  ‘Yes … yes.’ She smiled, though it was through teary eyes. ‘I feel so up and down … And here, I have been telling a stranger more than I should …’ She took her coat from him and hurriedly put it on, seeming anxious.

  ‘I will look after the yard,’ he told her. ‘For Pete. I will make sure the business keeps running.’

  ‘Thank you, dear. You’re a good boy when you make the effort.’ As Luca stared back at her, confused, he saw a strange faded look in her eyes. She looked as though she wasn’t quite present. Had she thought he was Ade? He felt all of a sudden very sad for this woman – and worried. She seemed to be under some kind of spell.

  As he shut the door behind her, he leaned back on it for a few minutes, trying to take in what had happened and what she had said. And then he felt his skin start to prickle and his heart pump faster and he closed his eyes. It was the time of the full moon again. Just when he needed peace and time to think. Usually he was much more prepared than this. But with everything that had happened he was caught out.

  A sharp pain in his chest made him wince and he looked down; the veins in his arms were beginning to protrude. He was glad he was only wearing a flimsy T-shirt.

  ‘Ahh,’ he hissed, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. He glanced at the stairs, only taking a moment to think before he launched himself at them, taking two at a time, a fleeting thought of the near-disaster that had been averted.

  If Lydia had left any later than she did, then she would have seen him turning. And any trust in him would have evaporated for sure. He needed to get outside and let nature take over his body. The curse that would never leave him – wherever he was.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  ‘So.’ Ashley dumped her patent leather bag on the canteen table and sat down happily in front of me.

  ‘So?’ I raised an eyebrow, halfway through a bowl of lukewarm apple crumble.

  ‘We’re friends again.’ Ashley smoothed her hair. ‘After last night …’

  ‘Yes.’ I abandoned the crumble. ‘Of course, we’re friends. I’m sorry if I—’

  ‘No. Ade explained to me – you know, about why you might be a bit anti him right now. He told me about what happened at the hospital.’

  ‘Oh.’ I pursed my lips. ‘What did he say?’

  ‘Just that everyone was a bit upset, and he was really worried about his grandfather, and he kind of pinned the blame for his accident on Luca.’ She sighed. ‘And he knows that was unfair, and he didn’t mean for Luca to lose his job, and …’ She paused. ‘He just really wants us all to be friends.’

  ‘Right.’ I shrugged. ‘Well … yeah, sure.’

  ‘And,’ she leaned forward, ‘he really wants us to include Polly when we go out. She’s kind of lonely and I think she feels a bit left out of things.’

  ‘Right.’ I couldn’t help my nostrils flare slightly.

  ‘I mean, it would be nice for us to be a gang, don’t you think? Like in Friends or something. Hanging out together.’

  For the life of me, I couldn’t imagine it.

  ‘OK,’ I said, a little inadequately. I looked down at the bowl of cold crumble.

  ‘I know she’s weird and, well, I find her intimidating if I’m being honest. But I’m trying to be grown up, you know. Make an effort.’ She stopped, a timid smile on her face. ‘I want Ade to be happy.’

  ‘Well, I want you to be happy,’ I told her. ‘And if that means getting on with Ade and Polly then I guess I can do that.’

  ‘And Luca?’ she asked quietly.

  ‘I guess—’

  ‘You talking about me?’ Polly appeared next to me, dressed entirely in black, her dark-red hair spiralling down her back. She wore a single black flower clipped next to her ear and heavy eye make-up, making the colour of her eyes more vivid than ever.

  ‘Wow,’ said Ashley. ‘You look amazing. I love that kind of neo-punk Goth thing.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Polly’s eyes slid to me. ‘I thought I’d dress up – to mark a new start.’

  ‘A new start?’ I asked lightly, unable to take my eyes off her.

  ‘Yes.’ She looked at Ashley and then back at me. ‘For all of us. I think we kind of got off on the wrong foot.’ She dropped her head slightly, a humble gesture, totally out of character.

  But I had had enough of making enemies. I didn’t need the aggravation – and nor did Luca. Being friends with Ade and Polly was a win-win situation.

  ‘Well, I think that’s a great idea,’ I said after a pause. I caught Ashley’s expression – she looked delighted.

  ‘I think we should celebrate with a night out,’ Polly said, touching the flower in her hair,
adjusting it slightly. ‘There’s this great new club that’s opened a little way out of Bale. It’s where all the “cool” kids are hanging out these days, apparently.’ Her eyes gleamed.

  ‘Sounds great,’ I said, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. It wouldn’t hurt to make an effort. I looked Polly up and down. ‘Is there a dress code?’

  Polly cocked her head to one side thoughtfully. ‘I bet you could look pretty hot if you tried,’ she said. ‘You know, if you wore something other than jeans and a sweatshirt. I bet you’d look stunning.’

  I shrugged. ‘I’m not really into all that girly stuff,’ I said. ‘It’s not me …’

  ‘Yeah.’ Polly half yawned as she spoke. ‘I get you like the understated look and all that. But sometimes it’s good to shake things up a little. Show another side of yourself …’

  I remembered standing in Vanya’s clothes closet in Nissilum, staring at myself, a stranger in the mirror. It seemed so long ago.

  ‘I have so many clothes you could borrow,’ cut in Ashley, excited. ‘Emma and I could totally make you over.’

  Polly smiled tightly at her. ‘In pink?’ She rubbed at her arm patronizingly. ‘No. Leave it to me.’ She widened her eyes at me. ‘Why don’t I come over to your place tomorrow night with some clothes. I think we’re about the same size …’

  ‘Oh no, that’s not necessary,’ I said quickly, uneasy at the prospect of Polly in my house.

  ‘I insist,’ she said good-naturedly. She grabbed my arm excitedly. ‘I want to meet that boy of yours too. If we’re all going to be friends for real, I think we should all get to know each other better, don’t you?’ She trapped my eyes with hers, making it impossible for me to do anything other than open my mouth, speechless.

  ‘I wish I could come,’ said Ashley. ‘I’ve never been inside your house, either. I’d love to meet your family. But it’s my dad’s birthday and we’re having a special dinner.’

 

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