by Barbara Lohr
And that included him.
When he pushed open the back door of his house and tossed his keys on the counter, Shadow was right there. “You waiting for me? That’s nice, girl.” Shrugging out of his jacket, he hung it up and went to check her bowls in the kitchen. “Had enough to eat?”
Suddenly hungry, he opening his refrigerator and grabbed some cold lasagna left over from last week’s takeout. He’d been ordering out a lot. Just needed a fork. Soon as he sat down with his food, Shadow leapt onto the stool next to him. “You women,” he told his new pet between bites. “You don’t know what you do to us.”
Stretching toward the food, Shadow sniffed, one dainty paw up on the counter. His mother would have a fit and so would Selena. Good thing they weren’t here.
“Always asking for something.” But he smiled and grabbed a paper towel. After he forked a hunk onto the small sheet, he slid it over. Shadow didn’t need any encouragement. Whiskers twitching, she was all over it.
“Good. You're my date for tonight.” Seth kept eating.
“So how do I tell Selena how I feel about her? Huh, Shadow? What are the magic words here?” But would he be able to say them? To get them out?
The lasagna was gone. One whisk of her tail and his sounding board disappeared.
“Sure. Get what you want and walk away. Doesn’t matter that I’m sitting here, a major mess.” His words echoed in the silent kitchen. Why was it that he had no trouble talking about personal matters when he was alone?
Chapter 12
No roast this Sunday. Instead, the smell of turkey filled his parents’ house. Seth set down the large cardboard box and hung up his jacket. Rearing up on her tiny legs, Shadow meowed, probably ticked that she couldn’t see over the top. Or maybe the turkey smell was driving her nuts.
“Just be a good girl, okay?” Maybe bringing her had been another one of his bad ideas. He’d had a hard time fitting the litter box into the carton.
“Seth. Good, I need some help.” His mother bustled out from the kitchen, eyes widening as she came closer. “Whatever do you have?”
“Shadow, meet Mom.”
“Oh, my goodness. Where did you get him?”
“It’s a girl. You could say she found me. That night after Mick’s wedding? She was just sitting next to the dumpster. Crying. Starving.”
“The poor little thing. She’s beautiful.” The kitten promptly rolled over so Reenie could stroke her belly. “Will you listen to that purring? Wait’ll the kids see this.”
“Is this okay? Kind of hated to leave her alone because I’m gone so much.”
“No worries. It’s fine.” Reenie scooped Shadow up. The kitten’s claws clung to his mother’s sweater. “You’ll have to have her declawed.”
“Isn’t that kind of mean?” He hated the thought of subjecting the little thing to surgery. But his furniture was taking a beating, especially the black leather sofa.
His mother planted a kiss on his cheek. “That’s what I love about you, son. Soft-hearted, in a good way. Put the box in the corner of the kitchen, okay?”
Seth followed his mother back into the kitchen and stowed the box away. Talking baby talk all the way, Reenie settled Shadow back inside and nodded to a pile of silverware on the counter. “Now, wash your hands and then set the table, okay, honey? The girls are all busy with the kids. And the boys are watching the game. It’ll just take you a minute.”
“Yep. I can do that.” When they were growing up, his mother had insisted that the boys shared the chores, whether it was doing the dishes or setting the table. He didn’t mind it, although he never could remember which way the knife blade should face.
“Did I leave a burping cloth in here?” Amanda poked her head in.
Looking around, Seth lifted his shoulders. “Not that I can see. Morning sickness getting any better?”
She wrinkled her face. “Don’t even ask.”
“When’s that due date again?”
“August, if I make it. Logan says we shouldn’t be surprised if the twins come early.” But Amanda didn’t look panicked. She looked pleased.
“Think you’re going to make it to McKenna’s wedding?”
“Nope. Can’t take any chances. But Connor’s going. I can hold the fort with Sean for a weekend.” Her eyes traveled to the family room where Connor was being all cutesy with Sean on the sofa.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take pictures,” Seth assured her with a hug.
Amanda looked around. “Selena still missing in action?”
This was like taking a punch to the gut. “Yep. We're still taking a b-break.”
Shadow’s pathetic wail reached him. “Sorry.” He dashed back into the kitchen with Amanda right behind him.
“Your cat’s not happy,” his mom told him.
“What have we here?” Amanda drew closer.
“Meet Shadow.”
Amanda peered into the box. “I didn’t know you liked cats.”
“I’m learning.” The turkey sat in its pan at the back of the stove. Taking a knife, Seth sliced off some small bits and fed them to the cat. “Now, be good. Hear me?”
Shadow licked her chops and curled up in the corner.
His sister-in-law trailed him into the dining room where he finished up with the silverware. “So tell me more about this break from Selena?”
“What? You and Connor never took time apart from each other?” Didn’t he just wish this was a temporary break. Selena had him so confused. Add hurt and anger to that, if he were being honest.
“No, we never took a break.” Silly smile on her face, Amanda ran one hand over her stomach. “Sounds like an excuse to me. What’s going on, Seth?”
This felt like an ambush and Seth didn’t like it. “I think M-mom’s calling me.”
He escaped but his sister-in-law’s frown followed him into the kitchen where his mother was still stirring the gravy. “Thanks, Seth.” She grabbed a towel and patted her brow and neck.
“Is Shadow behaving?” Everything seemed quiet in the box.
“Fine. Guess the turkey made her sleepy.” Usually his mother’s face was flushed from the heat in the kitchen. But today she looked pale. Why hadn’t he noticed that earlier? Sometimes his medical background made him hyper-vigilant.
With a shake of her head, she shushed him toward the door. “Don’t stand there looking at me like that. I’m just fine now. I’ll call you when the gravy’s ready, okay? You worry too much.” At least she wasn’t pestering him about Selena. In fact, his mother seemed preoccupied.
Most of the gang was in the back and Seth was headed that way when McKenna barged through the front door, slammed it shut and unzipped her green jacket.
“Hey, McKenna. Where’s Logan, my future brother-in-law?” Taking her jacket, Seth hung it up on the coat tree.
“Delivering a baby. He might not make it today, but I can take a doggie bag for him.” McKenna’s eyes searched his face and Seth turned away. “So what did you do last night? I mean after you called me?”
“Nothing much. W-why?”
Arms around his shoulders, McKenna pulled close and whispered, “Because I care about you, you big lug. Isn’t that enough reason?”
But he hated this touchy-feely stuff and pushed away. “Don't tell me stuff about Selena, okay?” He intended to handle this himself.
“Did you call her today and ask her why she was at Slugger's with Gary?” His sister looked almost pleased.
“I don’t like seeing Selena with Gary but there you have it.” The words tasted like tin on his tongue.
“Gary’s a great guy.”
“Of course he is. He’s a doctor.”
“Whoa.” McKenna’s hands shot out. “What does that have to do with anything? He’s got his head on straight.”
“Are you saying I don’t?” She was being so damn irritating today.
“Just sounded like you were holding a grudge against doctors. Speaking of which, when are you going to start paramedic training?”
“So many questions. Soon, okay? Maybe I like being an EMT.”
McKenna wasn’t buying it. “Fine, but you should start climbing the ladder.”
“I’m not a fireman.”
“You know what I mean.” She gave him the look, like she was reloading. “I understand Gary just broke up with Mindy.”
The harsh chuckle burned his throat. “You don’t say. Wonder why. Maybe he’s got a c–com—”
“Commitment problem?” Throwing her head back, McKenna unleashed a hearty chuckle. “You can’t even say the word? Really?”
“Their problems don't have anything to do with me.”
“But you saw Gary with Selena. That doesn't concern you?”
She’d stumped him. Too many words tumbled in his head and he could not make sense of them. Not today.
A roar went up from the family room. He’d rather be back there watching a game than here getting the first degree.
But McKenna was a pit bull today. “Sometimes couples need to evaluate their relationship.”
“You sound like a therapist. “ Maybe he needed one. Seth rubbed the back of his neck. Had he showered that day? Couldn’t recall. Running a hand over his chin, he realized he hadn’t shaved either. What was happening to him? Folding his arms tight across his chest, he casually angled away from his sister.
“How do you feel about having Easter at your house?”
“Mom always has Easter.” He could almost smell the ham roasting now.
“Time for a change. My place is too small and the others have kids.”
“Joe doesn’t have kids.”
“He lives in a two-bedroom apartment, Seth. What’s the problem? You have Nascar parties at your place all the time.” Impatience crackled in McKenna’s voice.
It almost pleased him to get her riled after what she’d put him through. But maybe he was making too much out of this. “Sure, all right. I’ll have Easter. It’ll keep me busy. “
That tsking thing that McKenna did annoyed him. If anyone knew what was going on with Selena, it was McKenna. But she wasn’t sharing. “Do you need to be kept busy?”
He swallowed hard. “You know what? That was your last shot. Time to carve the turkey.” His boots squeaked on the hardwood floors, he turned so fast.
Head pulsing with annoyance, he found his mother rubbing Big Mike’s back in the kitchen. Stopped Seth in his tracks. This was how Mom acted with his dad when the squad lost someone in a fire. Or when a baby was late.
So, what was wrong now? A chill chased up his spine.
Ten feet away but he picked up his mother words. “Now, Mike. It’s probably nothing. I’m going to have the tests and we’ll see.”
Not what a son likes to hear. Seth stepped into the room. “What tests? What’ll be fine?”
Looking uncomfortable, his parents sprang apart. Reenie nudged Big Mike with an elbow and his dad’s face reddened. “Might as well tell him, Mike. The rest should know too, one by one. No group drama, please.”
When his mom tossed her head like that, she was the same feisty redhead he remembered growing up. The woman who could wave her potato masher in his face and threaten “consequences” if he didn’t clean up his room.
But his father opened and closed his mouth. No words. How often did that happen? Seth turned back to his mom. “Okay, tell me. Now.”
His mother pushed a wisp of graying hair from her face. “I’m going to have some tests next week. That’s all.”
Seth’s chest tightened. “What kind of tests?”
She gave him that shoulder roll that told him this was none of his business. But it was. “Just growing older stuff. Normal stuff.”
Tests weren’t used for “normal stuff.” They were ordered for abnormal stuff, suspicious stuff. Seth pushed on. “You having the tests done at Montclair?”
His mom nodded. “McKenna knows all about it and we’ll tell the rest of the family...in time. Everything will be fine. You’re in healthcare and you know that.”
“You’ve been talking to McKenna but not me?” When had his sister become the authority on everything?
“Everything’s fine, son.” Big Mike stepped in front of Seth’s mom, but she gently pushed him aside.
“Yes, it is and that’s why you should go back to watch the game, Mike. You too, Seth.”
Big Mike could handle just about anything. Now he shuffled from the room, like he’d been sent out of the game. Seth stayed. His mother went back to stirring the gravy. The sun came through the window above the sink and it could have been any old Sunday. But the questions percolating in Seth’s mind needed answering. Was this why McKenna suggested he have Easter?
“How about I have Easter at my house?”
Frowning, his mother brought the wooden spoon to her mouth, blew on the steaming gravy and tasted. Grabbing the salt, she sprinkled a liberal dose over the wide, flat pan, then stopped and smacked her forehead. “Pepper not salt, Maureen.”
Picking up the pepper she sucked in a breath. “That’s awful nice, Seth. Might take you up on that.”
A cold fist closed over his heart. The old Reenie would have waved that spoon at him and said, “Fiddlesticks. We always have Easter here.”
“Yep, sounds fine, son.” She kissed him on the cheek. “That’s really sweet.”
Seth’s concern mounted. “So what kind of test?”
“Oh, just checking out a lump. Nothing much.” She kept up with the pepper. “So what’s going on with Selena?”
Geez. His mother was an expert at evasion. “I already told you, M-mom. Nothing.”
The disappointment in her eyes killed him. “You haven’t fixed that yet? And could your mother ask why?”
God it was hot in here. “Life happens, Mom.”
“When are you going to settle down, Seth, huh? Have your own family?” His mother looked as confused as he felt.
He had no answer. Family was important to the Kirkpatricks. “Settling down isn’t that simple.”
“It isn’t?” His mother put down the wooden spoon. “What’s complicated about it?”
He sure as heck couldn’t explain and didn’t want to bring it up. How would his mother feel if she knew he didn't have a clue how to dazzle Selena, not with words. She'd tried so hard to make everything right for him. Special tutors, speech therapists. All at a cost they couldn’t afford.
Seth’s knees almost buckled with relief when Malcolm appeared in the door. “Are we going to eat soon, Mom? Kids are hungry and...” His words drifted off. “Am I interrupting something?”
“Almost there, Malcolm, okay?” A shake of her head and his mother was back in Sunday dinner mode. Malcolm disappeared.
But the questions about Selena had cinched a painful band around Seth’s chest. He wanted to feel her arms around his waist, wanted to smell her light flowery perfume, be tickled by the soft hair under his chin when she cuddled close. Wanted to see her hands flutter in the air while she talked and talked. She was always so good at filling the silences.
“Don’t just stand there, Seth,” his mother scolded. “Carve the turkey, would you? Time to get this meal on the table.”
Grateful for the distraction, he got to work. After he’d helped his mother bring out the platters of turkey, green beans and parsleyed new potatoes, they all gathered at the long table. Dishes were passed around. Conversations bounced off the walls. Seth could hardly stomach either one. His appetite was definitely off and he picked at his meal. Lisa, Malcolm’s three year-old daughter, sat on one side of him and usually he loved to tease her. Halfway through the meal she sniffed and said, “You smell funny, Uncle Seth.”
Across the table, Dana, Lisa’s mother, gasped. “Lisa Maureen, you say you’re sorry.”
Of course, his siblings roared. Was it hot in here or was he blushing? As if that wasn’t enough, on the other side of him Mick, Lisa’s brother, mumbled, “He does smell funny, Dad.”
Perfect. Just perfect.
The concerned glances from Seth’s pare
nts at the end of the table made eating even more challenging. He was trying to figure out an excuse to leave when Lisa piped up again.
“Something’s pulling at my jeans! Oh, look. Will you just look?”
She got to Shadow before Seth could and had the kitten in her arms at the table, a definite no-no. “No pets at the table.” His mother’s look was thunderous.
In all the confusion, he grabbed Shadow and made an escape. The kitten was pissed when she got plunked back into the box. He’d have to get a carrier. If he’d been thinking the cat was temporary, he was kidding himself.
“You’re a lot of trouble, you know that?” Shadow’s blue eyes peeked at him over the top edge of the carton he’d set under the heat vent below the dashboard. “You women are always trouble.”
She gave a screeching meow that probably meant Deal with it.
At home, he got Shadow settled and then headed straight for the shower. The soap in the holder was dry, never a good sign. And he was the neatnick of the family. But while he sudsed his hair, all he could think about was the last time Selena had joined him, shampooing his hair with her long nails. His scalp tingled, remembering. When she’d slowly soaped his body, one inch at a time, he thought he’d drown. Now he turned the knob until the water felt like ice cubes. Bowing his head, he let the water pummel him until he couldn’t stand it anymore. Then he turned it off, jumped out and grabbed a towel.
Hair still damp, he decided to clean his family room. Like his parents’ house, the room had been added after he bought the place. His brothers and dad had helped, while his mom cooked chili in the kitchen. That chili. Selena had asked his mom for the recipe. Battling memories, he cleaned up the newspapers and then hauled out the vacuum. Shadow disappeared.
Two weeks out from Easter and he wanted the house to shine. Maybe he’d get the windows cleaned. No matter if they had four inches of snow on the lawn, somehow he had to have an egg hunt for the kids on Easter.
Grabbing a pen and paper, he began to make a list. He always had to write things down. In the quiet kitchen, he could almost hear Selena teasing him. “Mi amor, what are you doing?” She would take the pad from his hand and add a few things. He’d never minded, as long as he ended up with a list to check off.