by Barbara Lohr
“You’re a natural with this, aren’t you?” Seth was in awe of her.
“Am I?”
“Yeah, you definitely are.”
Her eyes swung from the baby to him. “Seth, why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“About your problems in school? The teasing, the bullying?”
“That was nothing.” Nothing that he wanted to relive. Instead, he studied Selena with the baby. They were alone huddled in a corner, while the kids outside screeched. But his own mother had outed him. Time to come clean. “Look, it’s not easy to talk about it. Attention Deficit Disorder. Not exactly a manly quality.”
“ADD?” Selena’s face emptied. “Your mom was telling me about all the trouble you had on the playground in grade school.”
Anger rolled over him in a hot wave. “Because of the ADD. She didn’t mention that?”
Selena shook her head. Sean gave a little yelp and Selena shushed him. Connor and Amanda glanced over. “Everything’s fine,” Seth called out. Only it wasn’t, not until Selena said something. His problem had seriously screwed up grade school. Time to explain it. “I was always in the principal’s office for getting into fights on the playground. Couldn’t sit still in class, so I found outlets. Those poor teachers.”
“Your mom feels guilty. She wonders if she put too much pressure on you in school. So she was really talking about ADD? That’s what got you into trouble all the time?” Her forehead puckered. This must be so hard for Selena to understand. She was never at a loss for words, doled them out like chocolate chips.
“That’s crazy. It’s nobody’s fault.”
“Is this why you don’t want to go on with paramedic training?”
Thank God everyone was busy and no one paid any attention to them. “School wasn’t easy. In class I never had the right answers or I stuttered, trying to get the words out. Of course kids teased me. You’re so smart, Selena, but that wasn't the case with me. So I became the class clown. Made trouble for everybody.” This was so damn humbling.
“Seth.” How could her hand, so cool when she laid it on his arm, stoke a raging fire deep inside? But he couldn't pull away.
Selena looked like she wanted to say more but Sean was fussing.
“Sure, high school soured me even more.” That’s all he was going to say about it. “Besides, emergency medicine seemed like a good fit.”
“But why didn’t you tell me?”
But he didn’t see any pity in her eyes. “What was there to say?”
“A lot. At least, I would have wanted to hear it.”
Maybe. So he tried. “Here’s the deal. In an ambulance, I’m boss. I can help people. That kind of pressure I can handle. I don't think, I just do. But personal stuff? Something else entirely.” She was nodding her head and a tightness inside began to unwind.
“The words don't come easy and when they do, well, I have trouble getting them out, as you well know. It's like the words get stuck or trip over each other.” Felt so good to say all this.
“Oh, mi amor. Who cares about that? I don't.”
Sean started to wail and Selena jiggled the little guy and calmed him down, whispering in his ear. Seth had always wanted to learn Spanish but it would have meant another class.
His family had come inside and everyone wore a hungry look. For the first time in weeks, he wanted to eat. Connor and Amanda were fooling around at the eight-foot buffet table. Amazing that it didn’t collapse under all that food. Every kind of salad he could imagine was spread out on the table. He’d noticed Logan sliding in with a couple of fancy bags from a downtown delicatessen near his expensive condo on Lake Shore Drive.
“Guess I should check on the kitchen.” Leaving Selena with the baby, he wandered back into the kitchen, heavy with the smell of the egg casserole, sausage and hash browns. This had to be his favorite holiday meal.
“Brunch about ready?” he asked McKenna.
“Got the pot holders in place for the casserole? Logan will help you take the pans out.” Steam rose from the pans and his sister’s face had turned a pretty pink.
“Yep, I’ll get him.” But as he waved to Logan, his mind was back with Selena. How would she feel about what he’d just told her?
When the food was out and serving spoons in place, he began herding his family through the buffet line. Twenty chaotic minutes later, they were all seated at one of the three tables that crowded the dining room and spilled into the family room. Plates were piled high. His mother was beaming at him as if he’d done all this himself.
Seth felt pretty darn good, except for the fact that Selena was sitting down at the other end of the table. That part felt strange. Weird that she was here but so far away. But the day was far from over, at least for them.
His father started the family blessing and they all held hands. “We are a family today sharing our blessings, and for this we are very thankful.” Maybe his dad had forgotten that Selena was here. But his mother looked pleased, nodding as his father rambled on, getting a little emotional. “And thank you for bringing our wife and mother back to health.” He winked at Mom and she pressed one finger to her lips. She’d heard enough.
“Let’s eat!” His dad nodded and silverware clinked.
At the other end of the table, Selena was talking to Joe, his younger brother. Unlike the Kirkpatricks in public service, Joe had studied architecture in Cincinnati. He’d scored a position with a firm in downtown Chicago. Looking at the two of them laughing, Seth realized with a start that they were about the same age.
Was that coffee burning in his stomach?
Joe glanced up and winked at him.
Seth had to make a move.
Chapter 15
Ay, caramba, every time Selena looked toward the end of the table, she met Seth’s eyes. Y Madre de Dios, he looked so handsome in that pale blue shirt. Usually Seth wore T-shirts, which had never bothered her. In fact, she liked them. He filled them out in a good way. The oxford cloth shirt may have been for his mother’s benefit but it struck a chord in her heart. He was one fine man. And his family was being so nice to her today, like they’d missed her. Connor had even caught her in the hallway and whispered, “Welcome back.”
And then there was McKenna.
“How are things going?” her friend asked when they crossed paths at the bathroom door.
“Good. Seth has, well, shared some things you probably knew.” Even she heard the hurt in her voice.
McKenna squeezed her arm. “It was his story to tell. Not mine.”
“I understand.” Things were falling into place.
Ten minutes later, she watched the family crowd onto the sofa. She sure hoped Seth had found the Selena Reminders she'd hidden late last Wednesday night. Glancing up, she caught his blush and relaxed.
When they were called to the table, she ended up next to Joe. She’d never spent much time with Seth's younger brother. But he was light-hearted fun today, which she needed. So much still had to be worked out. Her stomach felt jittery and she picked at her hash browns.
“If you don’t eat those potatoes, I might have to eat them,” Joe joked.
“Wouldn't want that to happen.” But her throat closed when she thought of Seth on the playground. Her brothers would tell her that meeting adversity built character. “La adversidad es la universidad.” Isn't that what her father taught them? Never back away from a challenge. Obviously, Seth had worked through it.
Why hadn’t he ever told her about his learning disability? She felt shut out. But didn't she have her own secret too? Time to take a chance. She pulled her attention back to the table.
“So, what project are you working on now?” she asked Joe.
“A commercial building downtown. Pretty exciting. I’m training as a project manager.” His eyes sparkled, the way Seth’s did when he talked about one of his life-saving runs. Joe dealt with buildings but Seth had lives in his hands. He may have had problems growing up, but he’d done an amazing
job of moving forward in spite of them.
Amanda clinked a knife against her water glass. “Listen up, everyone. Harper couldn’t be here today, but they're flying in soon for the couples’ shower for McKenna and Logan.”
“I’m in charge of the invitations,” Jamie threw in. “If you know of anyone who should be on that list, give me a holler.”
Amanda and McKenna began clearing the plates. Slices of carrot cake circled the table along with platters of bunny cookies. Mugs of coffee followed. Big Mike was usually in front of the TV by this time, turning on some game. Today he sat next to Reenie, trying to anticipate her every need. That man was so darn cute and his sons sure took after him.
Joe followed Selena’s eyes. “I’ve never seen my father so worried.”
“But she’ll be fine.”
“It’ll take a while to convince Dad. He’s just not himself.”
The whole family probably felt that way, especially the sons. The Kirkpatricks were men to be reckoned with, but watching your mother struggle with a health issue? What did it do to a man when he saw that his father’s whole world threatened to crumble when his wife got sick?
Every time she glanced down at Seth, her arms ached to soothe him. Selena began to clear empty dessert plates. Maureen reached for her as she passed. The woman still had a strong grip. Before Selena knew it, she was pulled into the seat vacated by McKenna. “Selena, tell me about your visit to Savannah. We never did get to talk about that.”
Selena launched into a description of her time with Harper. She knew Maureen missed her youngest daughter. “Cameron’s a fine man. He’ll make a good husband for Harper.”
“Glad to hear you say that, Selena. Mike and I feel the same way. Cameron will be a great addition to the family.” Then she stopped and nipped her lip. “Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean that you…”
Selena patted Reenie’s hand. “Not to worry. I know what you mean. Guess it’s my turn to help in the kitchen.” Ready to jump out of her skin, Selena took the stack of plates out to the sink. Plunging her hands into the soapy water, Selena scrubbed pans in spite of McKenna’s protests. “I got this, McKenna. Why don’t you help Amanda fill the dishwasher?” The men had been banished to the family room where the TV blared.
The day was ending and she should leave. But so much filled her heart. She just couldn’t leave Seth’s house. Not yet.
~.~
The women had pushed Seth out of the kitchen and that was okay, except he hated to leave Selena. His brothers and dad had the TV blaring and the kids were screaming outside. Needing a break, Seth headed down to his man cave.
He was a man on a mission.
Grabbing some empty boxes on his way through the game room, he pressed against a section of the back paneling. A door swung open. There was a time when he thought that was cool. Not anymore. In fact, he felt embarrassed. Lining his boxes up on the top shelf, he went to work.
Behind him, the panel clicked open again and he turned, ready to chop someone’s head off for invading his space.
“What are you doing down here?” Connor glanced around. Seth’s oldest brother always did everything right, although he’d shown his human side during the years when he and Amanda tried so hard to have a baby. But he didn’t want Connor to see what he was doing.
“Just cleaning up.” The framed pictures felt heavy in his hands. Quickly, Seth buried them in a box.
With the attitude of a fireman who’d be chief one day, Connor moved toward the shelving and picked up a picture. “What you got here?”
Seth ground his molars. “Senior Prom.”
“Dude. That was so long ago.” The look on his brother’s face twisted in Seth’s gut.
“Fine times, bro.”
But Connor was shaking his head. Oh, the baseball and basketball trophies were fine but when he got to the pictures of girls Seth used to date? Different story. “What is this, your trophy case?”
“Of course not.” More pictures clattered into the box. He never paid much attention to these shelves anymore. In fact, he rarely came down here. The man cave had served a purpose when he built it. Now? For football and Nascar Sundays, his family room was the place to be. His brother was right. This had been his trophy room in more ways than one. Time to shut it down.
Connor picked up another photo. “Good grief, Seth. Is this Mercy McCray? With braces?”
Seth’s lips felt numb. “Sophomore year homecoming.”
“Pathetic.”
The word tunneled into his gut. “You know what? You’re right.” Mercy and sophomore year went into the box.
“Is this why Selena dumped you?”
“She didn’t dump me… well, yeah, I guess she did. But she never saw this.” Thank God.
Wearing a look that his kids would probably learn to dread, Connor stood back. “You’re lucky, man. You’d never hear the end of it. Amanda would have killed me for keeping pictures of girls I dated.”
“Yeah. Probably. I just never thought of it that way.” Amanda was sweet and laid back compared to Selena, who had more of a scorched earth policy when she got mad.
His brother regarded him, a small smile dancing across his lips. “I never realized you were so sentimental.”
“I’m not.”
“Oh yes you are.” Connor was holding a shot of Seth with Selena at a St. Patrick’s Day party. Grabbing it from his brother’s hands, Seth set it back on the shelf. Shamrocks painted on both cheeks, she’d never looked more beautiful. They’d had a great time that night.
“Good thing you’re getting rid of all this.” Connor peered over the edge of the box. “This is the past, man. You have to move on.”
Seth gave a resigned sigh. “I realize that, Connor.”
“You sign up for the paramedic course yet?”
His eyes snagged on a shot of him with Selena at Navy Pier. The last time he'd seen this picture, it was in Selena's bedroom. His pulse pounded in his ears. She'd been down here? He was toast.
“Seth?” Connor's voice brought him back “What about the paramedic training?”
He left the photo sitting right where it was. “I’ll get to the course, so stay off my case.”
“You’re going to be thirty-one this year.”
“Thank you for reminding me.” Cold sweat dampening his forehead, Seth slumped back into the chair. Connor took the old beat-up sofa across from him.
“I’m just saying, it’s time to shape up your life, Seth. You want to be single all your life? Fine. You want to be an EMT instead of advancing up the ranks and becoming a paramedic, fine. But I don’t think that’s true.”
“Maybe we don’t want the same things, okay?”
Connor looked like Seth had just slugged him. “Why? Am I that bad?”
Seth snorted. “No, you’re that good. Good at everything. And I know it sounds weird but Dad always liked you best…”
“That is not true—”
What? Was Connor blind? “It is true. So I wanted to be different than you.” He glanced over at his empty shelves. “Because I couldn’t be better.”
“Hey, I was never big with the ladies, Seth. Not like you. And Mom always liked you best.”
“Get out of here.”
They both roared and Seth was glad they were in the basement.
Besides cleaning up down here, he wanted to practice what he was going to say. Selena was not leaving today without hearing it, especially after his latest findings. He was on firm footing, ready to run his next play.
Chapter 16
No one was leaving the family party and Selena needed time alone with Seth before she took off. He'd disappeared downstairs and she knew what he'd find there, if he noticed the latest addition to his photo collection.
“Anyone know where Connor is?” Amanda stood in the middle of the kitchen, Sean in her arms. “Everyone is waiting to say good-bye.”
“Probably downstairs with Seth, Amanda.” Catching the baby’s waving hand, Selena kissed it. So very soft.<
br />
“Well I’m not going down there.” Amanda looked ticked off. Didn’t she realize she had everything?
Big Mike was leaving with Reenie and they brushed behind her.
“So good to see you, dear.” Reenie gave Selena a kiss on the cheek. “Stop by now, you hear?”
“Sure.” And she hoped she'd have great news the next time she saw her. “You take care now, Reenie, okay?”
Big Mike helped his wife with her coat and then steered her toward the door. “Tell the boys we said good-bye. They must be downstairs and I have to get their mom home. See you, Selena.”
“We’re heading out too!” Malcolm and Dana were right behind them, kids in tow. Joe had left earlier. He had a big date, or so Amanda had told Selena.
Should she go downstairs to find Seth and Connor? Amanda looked so tired. She’d plopped into a chair with the baby and Selena pushed a hassock under her swollen ankles.
Mark and Jamie were next out the door, James and Randy squabbling over whose plastic bunny was bigger.
A crack of thunder announced the storm. The sky opened and rain poured down in gray sheets, wind rattling against the windows. From the family room window, she couldn't even see the garage.
Connor and Seth suddenly appeared. “Sorry, honey. Guy talk.” Connor kissed Amanda on the cheek and took his son so his wife could pull on her coat.
Selena felt strange standing there. “Maybe I’ll hit the road too, Seth. Thank you... for everything.”
“Stay for a minute, okay?”
Relief rippled through her. “Sure.”
Seth’s eyes darted around. “Anyone seen Shadow?”
Selena set her purse down. “No, not lately.”
“The kids had the cat.” Amanda peered into the empty box Seth had brought. “But I haven’t seen her for a while.”
“Tell you the truth, everyone’s been in and out all day.” Connor shifted the whimpering baby in his arms. “You think she’d go outside if she had a chance?”
“Maybe. She’s a wild cat.” Worry furrowed Seth’s brow. Another burst of lightning was followed by thunder that sounded like boulders shifting under the house. Wherever Shadow was, she must be terrified.