by Lori Wilde
Rafe laughed. “Don’t worry. Your protective instincts will kick in, and pretty soon you’ll be able to think about food and Lucas at the same time.”
“You’re doing a great job, Jake,” Lilah said. “Let up on yourself.”
As if to agree, Lucas waved his arms and smiled, two deep dimples forming on his face. The kid was cute, and from what he’d read in The Baby User Manual, learning at a rate well above the average. Besides, he rarely cried, slept well, and ate like a champ.
Maybe that was why Jake couldn’t shake the feeling that such a great kid deserved so much more than he had to offer.
“Abbie’s around to help,” Rafe said. “She’ll make certain you do what you need to do.”
“Remember, Abbie won’t be here long.” It was a reminder to himself as well as to Rafe. “She’ll go back to college in January.”
“You’ll find another nanny by then,” Rafe said. “There’s nobody like Abbie, though, so treasure her while you can.”
Treasure Abbie. He did. He loved being around her, enjoyed talking with her, and respected her opinions. He shouldn’t have kissed her, but she’d been so close, looking up at him and so beautiful in the sunlight…
It was the “while you can” part that made him reluctant to get any closer to her, physically or emotionally. She’d be gone in January, and he’d still be here. He’d always be here in Falling Star. He was aware of his own vulnerability, the longing for love to replace the love his parents hadn’t shown toward him. He loved his friends, but it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t let himself get to the point that Abbie’s leaving would break his heart, make him feel again like the neglected child he’d been.
Jake noticed that Lucas was sagging in Rafe’s arms, fighting to keep his eyes open. He took the baby from Rafe and put him to bed in the portable crib he always had with him, stashed in the back of the SUV just in case. Lucas went right to sleep, so Jake went back outside, leaving the door open so he could hear if Lucas started to cry.
“My life used to be so simple,” Jake said when he sat back down on the steps. “Downstairs in the morning, upstairs at night…”
“Sounds dull,” Clint said.
“Yeah, well, now your life is interesting,” Rafe pointed out. “And an interesting life beats a dull one any day.”
Jake considered what his friends had said as he watched the soccer game. The boys were running; the dog was barking, and general pandemonium reigned. Rafe’s life was way too interesting for him.
But maybe a small dose of “interesting” really was a good thing. He and Lucas were getting along okay. And Abbie…well, Abbie added a very special kind of interesting element to his life, one he would always remember.
16
Abbie was terrified, and it was her own fault. When she’d gotten home from dinner with her mother, she’d been restless.
What she’d really wanted to do was go to Rafe’s house and see if she was in time for dessert. But she knew that would be foolish—and more than a little desperate—so she’d settled on the couch and put the only DVD left over from the sale into the player.
Surprisingly and unfortunately, Mrs. Langston was a horror-film buff, so now Abbie was huddled in the corner of the couch, an afghan half hiding her face as she watched The Shining.
“You’re an idiot,” she told herself. She didn’t have to watch it. All she had to do was turn it off. But here she was, still watching it.
A car pulled up in front of her house. In any other circumstance she wouldn’t even have heard it, but now, in her state of terror, she cast her eyes wildly around the room for a suitable weapon: heavy, scary-looking, but non-lethal. When she heard footsteps coming toward the house, she stopped considering options and hoisted a yard-sale reject, Mrs. Langston’s flowered metal umbrella stand, over her head.
As she expected, suddenly there was a slow, ominous knocking at the door. Weapon at the ready, she peered through the peephole in the door to see in the porch light that the wicked supernatural creature she was ready to take on was, in fact, Jake, with Lucas on his hip and a box in his other hand, which explained why he’d had difficulty knocking.
She was even more thrilled to see him than usual. She opened the door, feeling idiotic. “Hi,” she said lamely, ushering them in.
Jake’s gaze gravitated to the umbrella stand she still clutched in her arms. “Rearranging the accessories?” he asked her.
“Oh. No. Things got a bit scattered after the sale. I’m just…umm, what brings you here?”
“Lilah wanted you to have some leftovers from dinner tonight. She insisted I stop by on my way home,” Jake said, carrying the box to the kitchen. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“Mind free food? Cooked by somebody else? Who could mind?” Abbie took the plastic storage containers from the box. Inside she found leftover meat loaf, potatoes, and green beans.
“Wow, she must really think I need food,” Abbie said as she placed the dishes in the refrigerator.
“No, it was her none-too-subtle ploy to get me to stop by and check on you,” Jake said, not looking unhappy about his fate.
“Oh, really? Now why would she want to do that?”
Jake met her gaze straight-on. “I think she’s matchmaking.”
Abbie was almost holding her breath when she asked, “How do you feel about that?”
“How do you feel about it?”
Truthfully, Abbie wasn’t sure. “It’s sweet that she’s interested. I think she just wants everybody to be as happy as she and Rafe are.”
Jake just looked at her for a moment, his gaze so intent it felt like a touch. Abbie took a step toward him, but Lucas, who was sleepy and fussing, flung his arms at her, so instead of her latching on to Jake, Lucas latched on to her.
“I think he’s hungry,” she said when he began chewing on her shirt.
“Hungry for his fourth or fifth meal of the day. Mind if I feed him something before I leave?”
“Not at all. In fact, why don’t I put out a snack for us, too.” She hesitated. “Want some pie? You could stay for a while. I was watching a movie”—she hesitated again—“sort of. You could watch it, too.”
Jake nodded. “Sure. You were ‘sort of’ watching it? How does somebody—”
“I’ll hold him while you get the things from the car,” she said hurriedly.
While she distracted Lucas, Jake went to the car and brought in the portable crib and a diaper bag. They soon had the baby changed, fed, and sitting sleepily in his crib, which they put right beside the couch where they sat side by side, eating wedges of apple pie Abbie had warmed while they were taking care of Lucas.
“This is a terrific pie. Did you make it?” Jake asked her.
“Are you kidding? Mom sent the leftovers home with me. I did make one once. I could have piled the apples in a box, and it would have tasted just as good.”
He laughed. “What movie were you sort of watching?”
“The Shining. Want me to start it over?”
Jake shook his head. “No, I’ve seen it several times. Just start where you left off.”
While Jake carried their empty plates to the kitchen, Abbie, already longing for her afghan shield, resumed playing the movie. Jake settled next to her on the couch, and soon he was engrossed in the film.
Abbie was thinking that she couldn’t pull up the afghan in front of Jake, and she couldn’t suggest an alternative entertainment option, when she noticed that Lucas had fallen asleep.
“I don’t think he likes the movie,” she whispered.
Jake dimmed the table lamp near the crib. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
She hoped he never would. He was missing Jack Nicholson chasing his family, a trauma that would never happen to him. She couldn’t stand it anymore. She grabbed the afghan and turned her face to one side, where Jake’s shoulder loomed not an inch away.
“I can’t watch,” she moaned.
“Scaredy-cat,” Jake said.
“I hate
horror movies.” She pulled the afghan up tighter.
“Then why are you watching it?”
“It was all I had, and I needed something to distract me.”
She looked up and found Jake watching her intently. She could see desire on his face and felt the same flame of awareness race through her.
“Distract you from what?” he asked, and his voice was hoarse.
“Oh, things,” she said distractedly, “things like—” She met and held his gaze.
“I should take Lucas home now,” he said in that same crackly, hesitant voice.
Of course he should. The sensible side of her knew that, but she couldn’t hear her sensible voice speaking to her, only the sensual one, and she listened to it, wanting him more than she could bear.
Their eyes met and held, and gazing at him, she knew there was only one right thing to do. “Don’t leave,” she whispered, leaning up and brushing his lips with hers. “Stay here with me.”
Abbie knew Jake wanted to stay and knew he shouldn’t. She also knew she shouldn’t have asked him, but she couldn’t help herself.
“All we can count on having, Jake, is now,” she whispered. “Time’s going fast. I’ll go back to school, and you have earthshaking decisions of your own to make. We don’t know what will happen, so we have to make the most of the time we have.”
Whether it was because she’d convinced him or because he no longer had the willpower to resist, Abbie wasn’t sure, but he wordlessly gathered her in his arms and kissed her deeply.
She’d never felt so cherished, so adored, as she did with him. His kisses were slow and leisurely, his intent to please her obvious.
She broke away from him, stood, and took his hand. Her gaze still locked with his, she led him to her bedroom.
The sound of Lucas chattering woke Jake. He opened his eyes, and then wanted to close them again. Abbie. He’d slept with Abbie. It had been wonderful and amazing, but he also worried it had been a mistake. What if he ended up hurting her?
He would never hurt her. He had to face up to it. What he was worrying about was her hurting him. Later, when Abbie woke up, he’d talk to her about never repeating what happened last night. He’d have to be very clear about that.
He climbed out of bed, got dressed, and went to check on Lucas. With ease, after so many weeks of practice, he soon had the baby diapered. He carried Lucas on his hip as he went back to the bedroom.
Abbie was awake and dressed. She smiled at him.
“Good morning,” she said brightly.
Jake opened his mouth to tell her that last night was a mistake, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, he crossed the room and kissed her.
So much for making it clear.
“Good morning,” Jake said. “Sorry about—”
Abbie laughed. “Don’t say it.” Her voice quieted. “It was a wonderful night. I’ll never forget it.”
Neither would he. Would he have the strength to stop at one wonderful night? He had a feeling he wouldn’t.
“Lucas and I have to go home,” he said.
The brightness faded from her face. “You do?”
He nodded slowly. “Yes. We don’t want to go home, but we have to.”
“But…why?”
He moved closer, looked into her eyes, and said, “Because, beautiful woman, my SUV has been parked outside your house all night. If we leave right now, we might get away with it.”
Her eyes widened. “I never thought of that. The telephone brigade could spread the news all over town by noon.”
“Right. So I’m going home, and—”
“Will you come back later?”
“I shouldn’t, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I did.” He smiled at her, ran his hand over her hair, then cupped her chin with his hand. “In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home, improved on Lucas’ and my grooming, and then came back here to pick you up. For a nice day.”
She laughed at him. “Go, then. I’ll see you later.”
Jake packed Lucas’ things in the car and went back for the baby. Driving home, he knew he was the happiest he’d ever been, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that he shouldn’t have let last night happen.
Abbie spent all day Sunday with Jake and Lucas. Maury and the interns ran the diner, and Jake only called three times and stopped in twice to check on them. “I’m taking a day off with Abbie and Lucas,” he’d explained to them early in the morning.
They went for a drive in the country to admire the leaves, then stopped by a cold, clear stream for a picnic lunch Abbie had put together from Lilah’s leftovers—meat loaf sandwiches being the main course and her mother’s pie for dessert. They listened to the water bubbling over the rocks while they ate and spent the rest of the afternoon at her house watching Lucas pull himself up on the furniture.
“He’ll be walking before you know it,” she marveled.
“Lilah already warned me,” Jake said, and his glum tone of voice made her laugh.
During these innocent pursuits, her body zinged with sexual energy. She wanted more of him, so much more, and soon. Jake cooked dinner—a simple but wonderful pasta dish with white clam sauce, and then they watched a G-rated movie on TV with Lucas cuddled between them.
When he fell asleep, they nestled him into his crib and moved as one body toward Abbie’s bed. Being with Jake was wonderful.
He made her feel sexy and empowered and alive.
Jake went home even earlier this time, but now she understood and insisted he leave Lucas, his car seat, and his overstocked diaper bag with her rather than waking him up. She could see the headline now—Nanny keeps baby overnight because Dad has an exceptionally early morning.
She hoped that take on the situation would fly with the neighbors.
At the appropriate time, she took Lucas directly to Jake’s apartment and settled him into his usual routine. Even as she played with him on the floor, fed him, bathed him, and snuggled him, she couldn’t get her mind off Jake.
“You have a great dad,” she told Lucas when he was crawling toward a covered electrical socket. He paused and turned to look at her.
“You’re a lucky boy, and I’m a lucky woman.”
“Gah,” he said, going right back for the socket.
Abbie laughed and scooped him up off the floor. “Exactly. Gah.”
Just before dinner, Jake came upstairs. As soon as he walked in, she could tell something was on his mind.
“I have to go to New York next week to talk to the Abernathy company,” he said. “Stein called this morning and explained they need to start moving forward if we’re going to go through with it.”
“New York? Next week?” Abbie pulled herself together. She needed to be excited for Jake. “That’s wonderful. I can’t wait to hear what they have to tell you.”
Jake didn’t seem all that thrilled. “I’ll have to leave early Tuesday morning and come back on Thursday. If they can’t explain it to me in two days, either I’m too dumb, or they’re too unorganized to franchise the diner.”
She smiled at him, hoping he couldn’t guess what she was thinking. He’d only be gone for two days, but she’d miss him every second he was away. She needed to get used to it. After all, if he accepted Abernathy’s offer and took an active role with the company, he might have to move to New York.
Surely not. He couldn’t give up the diner, could he? Wouldn’t he always be here while other people ran the franchises? He’d have to be here. He was devoted to his friends. He must know that Maury would be devastated without him.
Falling Star depended on him. Jake’s Place was their second kitchen, their spot for birthday and anniversary dinners, their caterer for even more special occasions.
And she needed him to be here when she came home for visits. If a miracle happened, he might still be here waiting for her when she’d done what she had to do.
All this went through her head in a split second before she said, “You know you don’t have to worry about anythin
g here. In fact, I can take care of Lucas either at my house or here.”
“Your house is fine,” Jake said. “I appreciate you doing this.”
“I love taking care of him,” she said, and then, because she couldn’t help herself, “You’ll keep in touch, won’t you?” Hearing the longing in her own voice, she added, trying to sound as if she cared only about the information, “I’ll be very interested to know what you’re learning.”
His gaze met hers and held it. “I’ll keep in touch.” He said it softly, and then did an abrupt change and said, “Now you’d better stop working, young lady. I can’t afford overtime.”
Abbie laughed, glad the tone had lightened. “I’ll punch out on the time clock.”
“Or,” he said, sounding almost shy, “you might like to stay a while and bring Lucas down for dinner.”
“Why, thank you,” she said. “I’d love to.”
In the back of her mind, she knew she needed to have a serious talk with Jake and soon. They were playing with fire, and one or both of them was going to get hurt.
But she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She had no idea where this thing between them was going, but for the moment, she didn’t want to do anything to stop it.
Over the next few days, Jake’s life settled into a pattern. He worked at Jake’s Place during the day and then spent the evening with Abbie and Lucas. In the back of his mind, he was still worried about holding Abbie back from her career plans. Or hurt her by neglecting her because he was too busy, but she was so adamant that she understood the risks that he pushed aside his misgivings.
One way or another, their relationship would end in a few weeks. So he just had to take her word for it that they could “enjoy the moment.”
His life only improved when, a few days later, Barney returned to the diner. As was his due, he was greeted with the same fanfare accorded to a visit from the governor. Becky and Colleen had made a handprinted sign out of white butchers’ paper to hang over the restaurant doorway. Barney’s Back! it shouted in huge black letters.
The waitresses hugged him. The interns stammered their names, clearly intimidated by him. A delivery from a florist arrived.