Feeling she was being way too hard on herself, as usual, Cade soothed, “That’s an easy fix. All you have to do is not deviate from the instructions and included ingredients next time.”
Allison took the other plate out of the microwave and joined him at the island, taking the stool next to his. Her pretty green eyes were clouded with worry. “It’s not just that.” She ran her fork over the pan-seared salmon with dill cream sauce, fingerling potatoes and asparagus.
He took a bite and found the food as delicious as it looked. “I’m listening,” he said gently.
“Well...” Seeming relieved to be able to unburden herself, she relayed, “Initially, because Jennifer Moore and I are both single thirtysomething lifestyle bloggers, it was really going to come down to small-town gal versus big-city woman.”
“But it’s more than that?”
“Jennifer’s a real bachelorette. She makes no bones about the fact that she is looking for her Mr. Right, and if she finds him, plans to showcase her engagement, wedding and entry into newlywed life in her brand.”
“Whereas you...”
“Want to show that a woman can be happy living the single life. That we don’t have to be married or have kids to be content.”
“And you incorporate that into your brand.”
She lifted her glass to her lips, sipped slowly. “Yes.”
“So it’s really between the want-to-get-married audience and don’t-want-to-get-hitched audience.”
“Exactly.”
She shifted on her stool and tugged the hem of her skirt down to her knees. The glimpse of silky thigh filled his body with need. Deliberately, he pushed the desire away.
Oblivious to the direction of his thoughts, Allison compressed her lips. “And they don’t know which one is going to garner the best ratings right now. Which is why—” she sighed wearily “—they plan to do focus testing on both of our blogs, between now and the decision-making.”
“And that will determine it,” Cade guessed.
“Along with our flexibility and ability to handle stress.” Allison looked as if she had the weight of the world on her slender shoulders. “They want to make sure they get someone who is ambitious but also easy to work with.”
He reached over to cover her hand with his. “Then that should definitely be you.”
She looked down at their entwined fingers. “Maybe.”
It wasn’t like her to be so doubtful. “Why wouldn’t it be you?”
She withdrew her hand. Looking as if she had little appetite for the delicious food, she resumed eating. “Right now, most of their shows are hosted by married couples, or family of some sort.”
He wasn’t sure he understood.
“Two brothers. A mother and daughter. Two adult children and their dad,” she explained.
“No one alone?”
“I’d be the first.”
Assuming, Cade thought, she stayed as emotionally and romantically unattached as she planned.
She put her fork down. “Although I imagine they’d want to bring some community into it, to provide context.”
Noting how pretty and feminine she looked in the soft light of the kitchen, Cade guessed, “But it would be more of a risk.”
“Yes.” She dabbed the corner of her lips with her napkin, stood and carried her plate to the sink. “And although my sense is that Laurel Grimes, the producer, is all about expanding the offerings to include lifestyle information, instead of just home decorating and renovation tips, Tripp Taylor, the programming director, seems more inclined to play it safe and just stick to what they know will work. Rather than take a risk on something that might not.”
He joined her. “Like you.”
She held his glance, seeming relieved that he was there. “Although it’s true...I’ve got the handywoman aspect cornered, which meshes well with their existing programming, I’m not sure similarity will help me in this instance.” Disappointment crept into her low tone. “Especially if single thirtysomething female viewers decide they would rather spend tons of money and hire people to do things for them, the way Jennifer Moore does, than do it themselves, the way I do.”
“And I’m not sure a close comparison of your two life views won’t work in your favor.” Resolved to give her the comfort and consolation she needed, he took her in his arms. “Especially when potential fans see how sweet and smart and sensitive you are, and view your indefatigable, can-do spirit. Trust me,” he said gruffly, as he noted the indecision in her pretty eyes. “When viewers get to know you, it’s not going to be a contest.” There was literally no way it could be.
The need to protect her growing by leaps and bounds, he drew her against him. Buried his face in her hair and inhaled her unique, sexy fragrance.
“Cade...” She caught her breath. Drew back enough to look up at him. Pink crept into her cheeks. As her gazed roved his face, she seemed every bit as ready to kiss him again as he was to kiss her. Yet she murmured, haltingly, “What happened this afternoon—”
He was done hiding his feelings. It had to be said. “Should definitely happen again.”
Her body relaxed, as if in mute agreement, and he dropped his head for another kiss.
* * *
Allison hadn’t let herself want anything outside her realm for a very long time. And yet she wanted Cade, she acknowledged, as she wound her arms around his neck, opened her mouth to the plundering pressure of his and let her body soften against him. He was her Achilles’ heel. In more ways than one. Which was why she couldn’t let him turn her perfectly ordered world upside down. Not again. Not when his own life was in flux.
Trembling, she tore her mouth from his, stepped back. “We can’t do this.” Couldn’t begin to need each other again in ways that could not easily be undone. At least not for her.
He went still. “It was just a kiss.” Tenderness and understanding radiated in his gaze.
Their second in one day.
Allison ran her hands through her hair. “To you, maybe.” She forced herself to explain, “To me, it’s a pathway to unhappier times.”
He frowned in regret. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you back then.” His gaze drifted over her lovingly, his mood as quietly accepting as hers was troubled and pensive. “The way I took you for granted.”
I’m sorry, too. Being completely alone with him, without the girls as a shield, was proving more challenging than she had expected.
Allison squared her shoulders defiantly. Lifted her chin. “Then you should understand why I would never want to go back to that. Especially when you and I both know that this is just because you’re at loose ends.”
He stood, looking over at her, hands braced on his waist. “You really think I’d put the moves on you because I was bored?”
What other reason could there be? It wasn’t as if they were still in love, or ever would be again. Resolved to do what was best for both of them, Allison resurrected the barriers around her heart. Stepping closer, she reminded him kindly, “You had two pitching injuries this year. The second forced you to retire years earlier than you expected. And pretty much broke your athlete heart. That was only four months ago.”
He gave her a long look that spoke volumes about all the issues he had yet to work through. “And your point is?”
She pulled in a stabilizing breath, clasped her hands in front of her and tried again. “Your life is in turmoil. You don’t even know what you want to pursue next.”
“That’s not true,” he said, leaning toward her. And with an even more intimate look, he said, “I know exactly what I want to do next.”
“Then tell me,” Allison said.
Chapter Five
Just because Cade knew exactly what he wanted to do next did not mean he was ready to share. “It’s in the early stages.”
Allison’s delicate brow furrowed. “U
h-huh.”
She didn’t believe him, so he offered proof. “It was why I was wearing a sport coat and tie when I came over earlier.”
“I’m listening.”
He shrugged affably. “That’s all I’m prepared to say right now.”
Her lower lip slid out into a delectable pout. “And once again, we’re on uneven ground.”
He watched her storm over to the sink and wash her hands, then bring the makings for the next day’s lunches out of the fridge. “What is that supposed to mean?” He washed his hands, too.
She lined up eight pieces of bread on the cutting board with more than necessary concentration. “I told you what my career aspirations were. I even confessed my uncertainty about what the results might eventually be.” She looked up long enough to glare at him. “You won’t tell me anything.”
He stood on one side of the island and opened up the package of provolone cheese. “I don’t want to jinx it.”
She stood on the other side and got out the turkey. “So it has something to do with being an athlete.”
“An ex-athlete,” he corrected, as they each doled out four slices.
She handed him the raspberry jelly and a knife. Not sure what he was supposed to do with that, he gave her an odd look. She flushed, explaining, “It’s how they like it. So just put a little on each sandwich.”
Hmm. He never would have thought to try that. “Okay.”
Allison got out a cucumber and a small cutting board and knife, and began julienning it into kid-sized strips. “Are you going to do more commercials?”
As always, her motions were delicate and precise. Trying not to wonder if she was just as delicate and precise when she made love these days, he cut all four sandwiches into triangles and put them into Ziploc plastic bags. “All my endorsements ended when my tenure at the Wranglers did.”
She portioned the cucumber into four snack containers. Slid those, and individual containers of ranch dressing, into the lunch sacks. “Is that why you sold your home in Dallas? Because you could no longer afford it?”
He added the sandwiches. “No. I’ve got plenty of money socked away for a rainy day.” He had always been smart about that. As was she.
She added individual containers of applesauce and plastic spoons, closed the tops and put them all into the fridge.
“I just wanted to come home,” he said, as she turned to face him. “Be in Laramie County again.”
Her expression gentled. For a moment, she just stood there, leaning against the fridge, her hands splayed on either side of her. “I felt the same way after my mom died,” she admitted softly. “It’s why I returned, too.”
He let his gaze rove over her, aware all over again how pretty she was, even at the end of a very long day with her hair mussed. “Because you wanted to live here.”
Unable to be still, even for a minute, she brushed past him into the laundry room. “Not at first.” She bent down to open up the extra-large capacity clothes dryer, giving him a very nice view of her exquisite derriere as she pulled out a dozen or so towels. Then she proceeded to pile the clean dry linens onto the folding table that stretched over top of the dual machines.
She started to fold. He moved in to stand beside her and help.
“Initially, I just intended to fix up her house the way she would never let me when she was alive.”
Catching a whiff of her jasmine perfume, Cade sympathized, “I remember your mom was pretty frugal.”
“Very frugal. Hence, the decor being stuck back in the 1970s when she bought it. Anyway, I needed some time to myself to grieve, and I needed to be in a safe, comforting place, so I quit my interior design job in Dallas and headed home.”
She flashed him a wan smile as they folded. “I started blogging so my friends could see what I was up to. Former clients followed me as well, and before I knew it, I had a lot of people liking it and checking in daily.”
Including me, Cade thought.
“So I picked up some advertisers for the how-to videos I made and turned it into a business. And now here I am.” She bowed facetiously. “Doing what I probably should have been doing all along.”
“Well, if all goes well, the same will soon be true for me,” he said.
She treated him to a withering glare. “You’re still not going to tell me?”
Silence stretched out between them, increasing the tension. It was either jinx it or have her mad at him for holding out on her. Easy to decide which won. Exhaling, he revealed, “Coach Jenkins is looking to retire at the end of January.”
A mixture of recognition and something that might have been approval lit her green eyes. “The baseball coach at the high school,” she mused softly.
Cade nodded, not sure why he wanted her in his corner, just knowing he did. “I want his job,” he stated plainly.
“Well—” Allison lifted her hand airily, her emotions suddenly seeming more mixed up than ever “—then of course you will get it.”
He hated it when she pretended something was settled when it definitely was not. “Well, actually, I may not,” he countered grumpily.
She gave him a look that spoke volumes. “Cade, if anyone knows baseball, it’s you. Plus, you’re naturally good with kids. They’d be lucky to have you.”
Cade had thought so, too, when he had heard about the job opening up. He grabbed another towel. “Coach Jenkins isn’t sure I’d be a good role model.”
Allison shot him a look over her slender shoulder. “Because of all the star player behavior?”
Cade nodded. “The women, the clubbing...”
Allison scoffed, looking resentful again. He wondered how much of the celebrity gossip she believed. And, more important, what it would take to redeem himself in her eyes.
“You can hardly blame him,” she said, adding to the stack of linens with unnecessary force.
He grabbed the next-to-last towel. Moving slower now. “It wasn’t as glamorous as it looked.”
Allison took the last towel. “Tell that to teenage boys trying to make college teams. Heading down the same path.”
“Exactly.” He might have ruined it for himself in this sense, too. Not because he had done most of what had been alleged about him, but because he hadn’t done enough, in terms of his own behavior, to correct the public record. And wouldn’t that suck, if his own inaction then cost him what he wanted now? With the job. With Allison...
Finished, Allison leaned against the laundry room wall, her arms folded in front of her. “So what are you going to do?” she asked gently.
Figuring this was as good a place to talk as anywhere, Cade lounged opposite her. “Put together a whole list of references that show all the volunteering and mentoring I did that wasn’t in the news.”
She studied him, looking very much like the girl he’d fallen in love with, lo those many years before. “Because you didn’t want it to be.”
Wishing he could kiss her again, and have it not taken the wrong way, Cade shrugged. “Well, you know what they say. If anyone else knows about it, it isn’t really charity. It’s grandstanding.”
Another silence fell, shorter this time. “Are you sure you’ll be happy here in such a small town?” She squinted at him, considering. “That you won’t get bored back in rural Texas?”
With you here? Cade thought. Not a chance.
“I’m sure.” Able to see she didn’t believe him, he promised before taking his leave, “And one day you’ll be certain of that, too.”
* * *
“I’m so glad I caught you,” Sarabeth told Allison over FaceTime the next morning. “This seven-hour time difference is impossible!”
Although she had never been in Switzerland, Allison sympathized. “It looks like you’re about to head out to dinner.” And a fancy one at that. Sarabeth was wearing a dazzling evening gown. Shawn, a tuxedo.
> “The awards presentation is this evening.” Sarabeth appeared even more stressed out than she had when they’d left Texas. “And then there’s a dance after that, so...”
Shawn came into the picture. “We probably won’t be back to our suite until after the girls are asleep. So we’ll call and FaceTime with them tomorrow morning, if that’s okay, since there is no school on Saturday.”
“I’m sure they would love that,” Allison said.
“How are they doing?” Sarabeth asked. “Are you able to handle them on your own?”
“Actually,” Allison admitted, pausing as Cade walked in the back door with the family Lab on a leash, “the girls missed Zeus, so Cade brought him over for a visit yesterday afternoon, and he has been pitching in quite a lot, too.” He had come over, as promised, to feed and walk Zeus that morning, so she could concentrate on everything else that had to be done.
“Good.” Pleased, Shawn turned to his wife. “See? I told you there was nothing to worry about. Allison and Cade have this covered. The girls will be fine until we get back.”
“I know.” Sarabeth sighed in frustration. “But it’s the first time I’ve ever been away from the quadruplets since they were born. And it’s hard for me,” she finished, clearly piqued her husband didn’t understand.
Shawn exhaled. “I miss them, too, Sarabeth. The difference is I think we should still have a life.”
Sensing a quarrel coming on, one that had been going on for quite a while now, Allison plastered a breezy smile on her face. “Well, we’re going to let you two go now. But have fun this evening, and congrats on your award, Shawn!”
“And don’t worry about anything here,” Cade reassured them kindly. “Because we’ve got this.”
The couple thanked them, and the call concluded.
Sighing, Allison put her phone down. “I was hoping they’d really relax and enjoy themselves,” she murmured, concerned.
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