Cold recognition lit his eyes when he realized they were talking about her brand again. “By just letting people make whatever assumptions they want to make.”
“Yes!”
His dark brow lifted. “Like they did about me, during my big-time-bachelor days?”
Allison fell silent at the reproof in his gaze. There was no question the resulting gossip had really damaged his overall reputation. When she had believed it, it had made her think less of him, too.
“That kind of speculation would hurt both of us. And it would make me a poor role model to kids.”
She couldn’t argue his point. While having a sexy lover could ultimately help her, with her fans, it would harm him. As a prospective teacher and coach, he needed to consider that.
Her phone dinged. The message said the HITN executives were now about twenty minutes away. Panic rose. Especially when she saw all this back-and-forth hadn’t budged him in the least.
“So what are you saying?” she asked penitently, as her pulse began to race. “You won’t help me buy time to try to work this out?”
He shook his head, implacable. “Not if it means shading the truth in any way.”
“Which means what, then, exactly?” she asked helplessly, spreading her hands wide. She stared at him, aghast, as the realization of where this was heading finally set in. “We should just stop seeing each other?”
His jaw set. “Given the way you feel?” he returned roughly, as emotionally distant as he had ever been. “The values that you have? Doesn’t seem to me that we have any other choice.” He turned on his heel and left her to show herself out.
Chapter Sixteen
Two days later, Allison’s doorbell rang. Hoping it might be Cade, having come to his senses, she rushed to answer it. Sarabeth stood on her porch, a stunning fruit basket and handcrafted white fudge in hand. “Hey, stranger,” she said, glowing like a newlywed.
“Hey back.” With a smile, Allison ushered her in. The two of them hadn’t had a chance to really talk since she’d returned from Switzerland. “You are looking fabulous.”
“I feel better than I have in years!”
Allison led her toward her kitchen, where she had coffee brewing. “How’s Shawn?”
“He had an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon here yesterday, just to make sure all the healing is on track, and it is. His sister came in from Michigan to spend a little time with him. Which is how I’m able to run off and do a little Christmas shopping on my own, but I wanted to drop these off first.” She set the gifts on the counter. “How are you doing? You look a little...” Sarabeth came even closer. “Have you been crying?”
All night, the past two nights, Allison thought. Figuring she might as well unburden herself to someone, she pushed past the tightness in her throat and told Sarabeth everything that had happened while they’d been gone.
Sarabeth slipped onto a stool. “And you haven’t heard from Cade since you quarreled?”
“No,” Allison admitted sadly.
“Well...” Her friend paused, searching for the upside. “At least he didn’t disagree with you when you told Personalities! magazine that the story was incorrect, that the two of you weren’t an item.”
Allison brought out two mugs. “I didn’t do that. I don’t have those kinds of connections to get the magazine to issue a correction on the daily blog.” Which was read by many more people than the actual magazine, as it happened, since the website was free.
“I heard Jennifer Moore of City Lights did get the new HITN TV show.”
Allison nodded. Although she wasn’t as heartbroken about that as she had expected to be. Maybe because she had come to realize that one of the best things about being an internet blogger was the ability to select her own topics and work at her own speed. She had not enjoyed constantly being expected to meet the network’s often unreasonable demands. Nor had she appreciated the HITN execs’ insistence on controlling the boundaries of her private life, and keeping it within her brand, when they had come to confront her about the gossip about her and Cade. So she had done what she had known in her heart was right, preserving her own freedom and integrity and taking herself out of the competition for the slot. Of course, by then it had been too late to admit how wrong she had been and patch things up with Cade. Having seen how angry and disillusioned he had been with her, she had known he would never forgive her. And the worst part was, knowing how self-centeredly she had behaved, she could hardly blame him.
Sarabeth stirred cream into her coffee. “What do you think this will mean for your career?”
Allison sipped. “Hard to say. I’ve had an awful lot of traffic on My Cottage Life the last few days. So, ultimately, maybe I will get more readers and, from that, more product advertising.”
“Well, that’s something.”
But not what she had thought she wanted. Not even close, to be perfectly honest. Suppressing a sigh of disappointment, Allison forced herself to smile, prompting, “Tell me about you and Shawn.”
Sarabeth brightened. “We’ve turned things around.”
Allison had guessed as much, but it was nice to hear her say so. “I’m glad.”
Sarabeth sobered, admitting, “We almost didn’t, though.”
Feeling there was a reason her friend wanted to talk about this now, Allison studied her. “Why not?”
Sarabeth sighed her regret. “We weren’t being honest with ourselves, and each other, about what we were thinking and feeling. Instead, we let ourselves stay locked into erroneous expectations.”
The pain of heartbreak surged. “Like what?”
Sarabeth’s expression turned rueful. “Shawn thought I wanted him to bring in the maximum amount of income to be happy. And that he could balance out his long absences with moving us back here to my hometown.”
Allison studied her friend. “Whereas you...?”
“Just missed him. And worried about all the time he was away from the quadruplets that he wouldn’t be able to get back.” Her shoulders slumped at the memory. “The thing is, I was starting to really resent him. And he felt it, and we know now, from some things the kids have started to tell us, that the kids were feeling the stress, too.”
“So what’s the plan?”
“Shawn’s switching to a work-at-home job with his company. It will mean less income, but he won’t have to travel the way he has been. And that’s what is really important to us. From now on, we’re putting our marriage and family first.” She paused. “Maybe you and Cade could work out something, too.”
Allison’s heart ached. “But what if it’s too late? If you’ve done the unforgivable as far as the love of your life is concerned? And you’ve already blown your chance to be together? Not just once. But twice?”
Sarabeth looked her in the eye. “Take it from me and Shawn. If you’re headed in the wrong direction, it’s never too late to do a U-turn.”
* * *
“You know, when we told you we wanted to throw a party to celebrate your new job, we did not expect you to spend the entire time out in the backyard, chopping wood for us,” Carol Lockhart said.
Cade turned to his mom. He knew he had given her reason to worry about him in the past with some of the decisions he had made. He was sorry about that. “I’m fine, Mom.” Brokenhearted. Disappointed and disillusioned. But otherwise okay.
Carol turned up the collar of her coat against the brisk winter wind. Her brow lifted. “Are you?”
Cade shrugged and went back to chopping wood. Thwack, thwack, thwack. “Just not in the best mood.”
His mother moved to better see his face. “Because of Allison.”
Cade scowled. “Why do you think she has anything to do with it?” They were over. Plain and simple.
“Honey, everyone in the county heard about the fact you were spending time together again. We were all hoping it was goi
ng to be a permanent arrangement this time.”
Cade picked up the splintered pieces and put them on the growing pile beside the stump. “Arrangement is the right word all right,” he said bitterly.
Carol’s glance narrowed. “What are you talking about?”
Grimly, he admitted, “I didn’t realize it at the time I started getting involved with her again, but the only way Allison was going to be with me was if I didn’t interfere with her brand.” And that still stung. More than he wanted to admit.
His mother’s expression lit up. “Ah, yes. My Cottage Life.”
“Yeah, well, that cottage of hers doesn’t come with a man.”
His mother chuckled. “So, spend time at your place. I’m pretty sure she’d be welcome there.”
“Mom...”
“I’m serious.” Carol moved to block his way when he started to get more wood. She planted both hands on her hips. “I know you’ve always been a proud person. Stubborn, too! From the first moment you came to live with us as a foster kid. But I thought you had gotten past all that,” she worried out loud.
Cade frowned. “I have!”
“Then why are you letting whatever this is stop you from pursuing her, when it’s clear to me, anyway, and the way you’re whacking the heck out of that wood, that all you really want is to pursue her!”
Bitterness tightened his gut. It was true. These days, he had no problem asking for what he wanted and needed. With anyone but Allison, that was.
Aware his mom was still awaiting an explanation, he said, “Because I can’t go back to—” wanting what I can’t have and “—a life that is nothing but a facade.”
“The way it was during your pro career,” his mom guessed.
Cade nodded. “Always running around with one or even two women on my arm. Pretending that I had it all, when all I really wanted was...” He choked up.
“Allison.”
Emotion clogged his throat. Curtly, he nodded. “I’m never going to feel about anyone else the way I feel about her.” He had always known it. Even when he hadn’t wanted to admit it.
“Then go find her,” his mother retorted in exasperation. “And tell her that.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “How can I? From what I heard and read in the news, I’m the reason she damaged her brand and lost that TV gig she wanted. I’m sure she wants nothing to do with me. Now or ever again.” Not that he would ever allow either of them to be put in a position where they had to lie. Or even spout half-truths.
His mom nodded. “That could be true. She might never forgive you.”
He looked up, stunned to hear the possibility put so bluntly. Especially by his mom, who was the biggest champion of love and commitment he knew.
“Or...like you,” Carol pushed empathetically, “Allison could be sadder and more brokenhearted than she ever thought she could be. But too stubborn and scared to find out if you’re feeling the same way.”
His mom waited for her words to sink in, then hugged him close and finished sagely, “You spent your whole life chasing dreams, Cade Lockhart. Don’t let this quest be the one that finally eludes you.”
* * *
Allison stood on the front porch of her cottage, staring at her front door, trying to figure out if she had forgotten anything. Before she made the fateful call...
“Gorgeous...” a low voice behind her said.
Heart leaping into her throat, Allison spun around. Cade stood there. Like her, surprisingly dressed up for a dateless Monday evening.
Unless he wasn’t dateless.
Because, freshly showered and shaven, in a tweed charcoal sport coat, light blue button-up and tie, dark-rinse jeans and boots, he certainly looked like he was ready to chase after someone.
“Are you talking about the wreath on my front door?” she quipped lightly, so very happy to see him, no matter why he was here.
She had missed him desperately!
He tilted his head, letting his gaze drift over her, taking in her formfitting red knit dress and heels. “Hmm... I think I like the lady standing in front of it better,” he murmured in that rough-tender voice she loved so much.
Tears threatened. She knew she couldn’t afford to get this wrong, again. “It’s starting to get really cold,” she said inanely.
He mounted the steps. Standing next to her, he swooped an arm about her waist. Looking both hopeful and wary, he bent down to whisper in her ear. “Maybe we should find a place that’s warm, then.”
“Good idea.” She leaned into the curve of his body, savoring his solid male strength. Turning to him, her heart pounding like a wild thing in her chest, she inhaled his cedarwood musk. They could work this out, she told herself boldly. All they had to do was try.
She smiled, ignoring the growing knot of emotion in her throat. “Why don’t you come inside?”
His expression serious and intent, he took her hand. “Love to.”
Aware her knees were shaking, she escorted him through the door. His gaze widened as he took in the intimate setting. A fire roared in the grate. Soft holiday music played. A table was beautifully set—for two. A bottle of champagne chilled in a bucket of ice. “Looks like I might have interrupted something,” he said, his expression unreadable.
She held on to his hand. The steady warmth of his touch imbued her with courage. “Actually,” she retorted, looking him in the eye, “you were exactly the man I was hoping to see this evening.”
His lips curved into a slow, sexy grin.
She knew they could make love right now, and it would be wonderful, but she wanted more than just the physical this time. And that meant they were going to have to be honest and direct with each other and talk their problems through.
“Congratulations on your new job,” she said.
“Thank you.” He paused to squeeze her hand. “I’m sorry you didn’t get yours.”
Despite everything that had gone on, she could see his regret was sincere. “I appreciate that,” she said, surprised to see how little the opportunity meant to her now, “but it was probably for the best.”
Her sober admission had him narrowing his eyes. “Why do you say that?”
Her voice dropped a confiding notch. “Because the brand they wanted to promote isn’t who I am anymore.”
For a moment, he was skeptical, and she could certainly understand why. Finally, he said, “Sure about that?”
She led him to the sofa and sat down beside him. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past few weeks,” she admitted self-effacingly. “The single life is great when being on your own is all you want.”
Understanding lit his eyes. And she realized that he really did understand, that what was important to her was important to him, too. “I get that,” he said softly.
She squeezed his fingers, continuing affably, “But when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with...again...it loses its luster.”
His espresso eyes twinkled. “Do tell,” he said, pulling her to her feet and gazing at her as if he couldn’t wait to hear more.
Allison admired the handsome planes of his face, the masculine slant of his lips. “Oh, Cade, I’m so sorry.” She encircled her arms about his neck and stepped even closer. “I should never have asked you to lie so I could get a job.” She kept her eyes locked with his and stipulated carefully, “Because it was never going to be worth it. Selling your soul never is.”
He brought her all the way into his arms and ran a hand gently down her spine. “And I should have never pretended that I could walk away,” he admitted with the same soul-baring honesty. His gaze drifted lovingly over her face before returning to her eyes. “Because the truth is, you...we...are worth fighting for. And I didn’t fight for us the way I should have. Not years ago, when I let my ambition tear us apart,” he admitted with heartfelt regret. “And I certainly di
dn’t do so the other day.”
She snuggled against his tall, strong body. Tenderness wafted through her, fueling an even deeper reverence and need. “But you’re ready to do so now.”
“With every fiber of my being.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her sweetly. “I love you, Allison Meadows. I always have. Always will.”
The tears she’d been holding back finally spilled over her lashes. “I love you, too, Cade.”
“Then what do you say we make it official.” Eyes dark with emotion, he withdrew a ring box from his pocket and dropped down on one knee. “Allison Meadows, will you marry me?”
And just like that, everything she had ever wanted and dreamed of was hers for the taking. “Yes, Cade Lockhart!” She dropped down to her knees, too, and kissed him again, even more joyously this time. “I absolutely will...”
Epilogue
December 24th, one year later...
“Okay, Miss Allison and Mr. Cade, you can come in now!” the quadruplets said in unison.
Grinning, Allison and Cade clasped hands and crossed the portal into her cottage. At first glance, the cozy abode looked just as it had when they stepped outside to await the dispensing of the girls’ holiday magic.
“Notice anything different?” Amber asked while petting the black Lab, who had come over to “help,” too.
“Zeus’s collar?” Cade guessed. It was a red-and-green plaid with jingle-bell tags on it instead of the usual red leather.
“No, silly,” Sienna said. “He was wearing that when we got here!”
Cade’s expression turned rueful. “It’s very pretty, as are all of you.”
All four were wearing identical green dresses with black tights and shoes.
“Thank you, but you still have to notice what we did!” Jade, who took all things crafty very seriously, said.
Hazel did a cartwheel across the living area, landing next to the foyer table. She angled her head in the direction she wanted them to look.
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