by P. Jameson
“Hm. I’m sure you do.” She didn’t pause as she folded a shirt and set in on top of a stack she’d made.
Vesh watched her methodically finish emptying the suitcase. He figured he should say something, but fuck-all if he could think of a single word.
“You can have the top two drawers. I’ll take the bottom two. I figure you’ll find somewhere else to sleep so I’m claiming the bed.”
“We can share the bed,” he blurted. It was like his wolf just up and grew a voice box because Vesh had no intentions of sleeping in the same bed as Braeh.
“Ha.” Finally, she looked at him. “You’re kidding, right?”
Vesh stayed quiet.
Her skeptical expression turned to a deep frown. “What happened to your hands?”
“Took out some of my frustrations.”
She gasped. “On Lex?”
“On a tree.”
“A tree?”
He shrugged.
Braeh’s eyes went from his hands to his face, and then back to his hands. “Poor tree.”
His eyebrows shot up. Poor tree? He was definitely in the doghouse if she was more concerned about a tree. If the situation wasn’t so fucked up, he’d laugh. She made him want to laugh. She never responded how he expected. She was a beautiful surprise.
She turned to him, both hands fisted on her hips. “So… how do we do that healing thing?”
His eyebrows furrowed.
“You know…” She waived a hand in the air. “That thing… where your wounds magically heal? How does that work? We should do some of that right now, because you’re bleeding on the floor.”
Vesh looked down to see twin drops of ruby on the polished hardwood.
“Damn it.”
He rushed to the bathroom and turned on the faucet, rinsing his wounds and running the water until the pink had washed from the bowl. When he turned the tap off, he caught Braeh’s reflection in the mirror and a flash of the past hit him harder than a ton of bricks.
She didn’t actually look like his sister. It was just the blonde hair and narrow face. Neither had round cheeks. But looking at her through the medium of the mirror, and with that expression of sadness on her features, he was reminded of a much younger version of Besh.
Besh before she found Cael. Besh who was shackled under their mother’s brutal rule. Besh who was desired by all their mother’s customers. So many of them, but only one of her to go around. Oh how he’d wanted to save her back then. He’d wished to take her place so many times just to give her a break, to ease her burden.
But he hadn’t saved her. No, and later, when she’d finally found happiness with Cael, he’d done the opposite of saving her. He’d betrayed her. Sure, his reasons were innocent enough, but that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
Barely young enough to still be called a wolfling, he’d let fear rule him. Fear that one day the alpha would hunt her down and kill her. Fear that if she left, he’d be all alone. For so long, they’d been partners in their misery. If she found happiness, Vesh would have no one to share the pain with. And all that shit on one person’s shoulders… he couldn’t do it.
What a stupid, stupid way to be.
He sighed.
He’d been working to make it right ever since. Becoming Jax’s right hand was the first stepping stone to liberating Besh. What he’d never been able to understand though, was why she’d publicly denied Cael and claimed Jax. They’d never spoken of the Ravendale alpha since that day in the great hall when she declared him a traitor.
Vesh blinked, and his mate’s face came into focus. Quickly, she lowered her eyes. Their bond was exceptionally weak, but he was smart enough to know that she was deeply upset. The idea that he’d caused her to feel that way rubbed him raw, but fuck, what could he do?
“Do you need my help healing, or what?” she murmured.
“No, it’s fine. They’ll heal quick enough.”
She nodded and walked back into the bedroom.
Vesh followed, leaning against a wall while she stuffed clothing into the two bottom dresser drawers.
“So… Remy, huh? Interesting name. But then again so is Vesh. Then again so is Braeh.”
“What about her?”
She shut the drawer with a little too much force. “You’ll be with her tonight.”
“It’s not a done deal.”
She stood brushing dust off her jeans and meeting his eyes. “But you want to.”
He shrugged.
Several seconds passed before her expression became uncertain, and she asked, “Why?”
Staring at her, his reasons didn’t seem the slightest bit important anymore but he answered anyway. “She’s my type.”
“Your type.” She shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “Someone with a little meat on her bones? With the right curves and soft spots? Someone like my sister.” She laughed. “Geez, you must be so disappointed that fate gave you an ‘anorexic’ mate, huh?”
“You don’t understand.”
“No. No, I really don’t. But you know what? It’s none of my business who you sleep with. You go on, do what you want. I’m taking a shower and getting some sleep.”
In a flurry, she’d grabbed her things and shut her herself in the bathroom.
Vesh didn’t know what to do, what he needed. The air in the cabin was stifling and he knew he couldn’t stay there. He was pulled in different directions, wanting to run, wanting to stay. Wanting Braeh, which would be thrilling and exhilarating and heartbreaking and more than he could possibly bear. And wanting Remy. Safe, meaningless sex that would make him feel good for a few hours. Wanting to run and hide. Wanting to stay and be seen.
In the end, Vesh did the only thing he knew to do. He walked out of the cabin and didn’t look back.
***
Braeh waited, not able to breathe, until she heard the cabin door slam. The hollow sound of wood against wood echoed in her chest.
He was gone.
She shouldn’t be surprised. It wasn’t like they were… anything. Sure, they were mates, but now she was more confused than ever on what exactly that meant. Maybe Kerrigan was wrong. Maybe mates meant close friends. Like in Ireland. Maybe she just thought it had some romantic connotation because Trager had fallen in love with her.
But the way Vesh touched her in the truck. Like his fingers craved her. Like learning her body was the only lesson on the syllabus. Like he’d be content to spend eternity memorizing her. How could he touch her like that and then seconds later, go sniffing after someone else.
Undressing and showering was just going through the motions. Something deep in her chest felt wrong. She shouldn’t care what Vesh did with his time, but she did. It was hard to ignore the way they’d connected. He seemed like a long lost friend. Who wasn’t friendly. Or a missing limb. Or… god, what was wrong with her?
Braeh stood under the warm spray, grasping at things to cheer herself up. Kittens. Baby pandas. Chocolate-covered gummy bears. Normally, she’d bake. But no kitchen.
She sighed.
Yoga. Yoga in the shower wasn’t a fab idea, but at least she could stretch some of her tension out. And maybe focus on something other than what was probably taking place in a certain redhead’s bed.
Braeh’s breath caught. A sharp pain cut through her chest. Son of a bitch. It reminded her of when Kerrigan moved away, but it wasn’t quite as bad as when they’d lost their mother to cancer. That bitch of a day held the record for inflicting pain. Sixteen years had passed, and not a single other day had been able to claim the Worst Day Ever title.
After some deep breathing and simple moves that wouldn’t land her in a tangled heap on the tiled floor, she shut off the water.
She was exhausted. A good long sleep, and everything would look better in the morning.
Braeh dressed in her least skimpy pajamas, which ended up being a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top, and then slid Kerrigan’s handgun under the mattress before climbing under the flee
ce comforter. It was chilly in Missouri but her body was primed for Alaska, so the sixty-five degree cabin might as well have been sweltering.
It wasn’t very long before blinking became something slower, her lids like lead. One last flutter, and she felt herself slipping into sweet oblivion…
When the cabin door creaked open.
Braeh managed to open her tired eyes, and found Vesh standing just inside the door, his shirt in hand. He was ripped in the best way. Broad shoulders, taut abs, ridges and planes. He was beautifully chiseled by some god on Mount Olympus. But all she could think about was what he’d done while he was away. And to add insult to injury, he’d come back half dressed.
Braeh bit her cheek to keep a rein on the tears that wanted to come.
He stared at her, saying nothing. This was something he did often. Most people were afraid to stare someone down, but not Vesh. Most people would look away, but not him. He kept his eyes on you until he wanted them somewhere else.
Braeh looked away first. It was either that or he’d see how much this bothered her. Damn it, he didn’t owe her anything. Who was she to say he couldn’t be with someone else? So then why did this feel like such a betrayal?
“Are you cold?” he asked. “I can start a fire.”
“No. I’m fine.” Her voice was thready and weak.
He tossed his shirt on the dresser, and stood with his arms crossed over his chest. It made his biceps bulge. “I didn’t,” he said quietly.
Braeh met his eyes.
“I didn’t do what you think. I let my wolf out for a run. Cleared my head. But I didn’t go to her.”
She swallowed the lump that had lodged in her throat while she struggled to make sense of his words.
“I… didn’t want that. Her. Not really.” He released a tense breath. “I just thought you should know.”
It felt like fireworks had gone off in her chest. She wanted to jump and rejoice. To sigh in relief. The heaviest of burdens was lifted from her shoulders.
He didn’t betray me.
Braeh frowned at the thought. Betray her? But yes, that’s what it had felt like.
Vesh pulled the extra blankets from the closet and made his bed on the floor. He stole the pillows from the couch, and the extra one from the bed. He was like a bird making a nest. Just before crawling into it, he turned off all the lights, bathing the room in darkness.
She heard him settle in, and waited until he was still before she found the courage to ask the question on her mind.
“Why didn’t you?” Her whisper was loud in the darkness of the room.
It seemed like forever before he answered. “Because I’d rather be here.”
He’d rather be here than with a busty wolf. The idea made her stomach knot.
“In the car, earlier…” His words dropped off before finding their way back. “Those few moments, that’s what changed my mind.”
Braeh swallowed, unable to speak. He’d felt it too, that connection. And maybe it affected him the same way it had her.
“I want that again.” He was so quiet, she wasn’t sure if he’d meant for her to hear.
She wasn’t sure of anything, except for the fact that Vesh was complicated and confusing. His intentions were unclear. He was worried for his sister. He’d just been kicked out of his home. They’d all had a tough 24 hours. But at least he was trying to be open and honest.
Braeh sighed. She could give him a break this time. They could settle things in the morning.
“You’re not getting in this bed, if that’s what you’re thinking. Zero point zero chance of that happening.”
“The floor’s fine,” he murmured. “That’s what I’m saying, okay? I’d rather sleep on the floor, here, with you, than in a bed with anyone else. Now go to sleep.”
She couldn’t help grinning. “Sir, yes sir.”
In minutes, she fell into the deepest of sleeps.
***
Hours later, Braeh awoke to the dipping of the mattress. The blankets lifted slightly and a gust of cold air went right through her clothes, hitting her skin.
“Vesh?” Her voice was sleep-slurred, but the movement stopped.
“Yes.”
“What are you doing?”
The mattress dipped again and suddenly she could feel the heat radiating from his body instead of the chill. He laid next to her, close but not touching.
“Getting in bed,” he answered.
She pulled the blankets up to her chin, but couldn’t hold back a whole-body shiver. The temperature had dropped and she felt it in her bones.
“I told you I wasn’t sharing.” Her attempt at arguing was halfhearted.
“Sorry, sugar. The floor is cold, and you are warm. Hate me for it if you want. I don’t care. But do it in the morning.”
Braeh’s teeth chattered. “It is freezing in here.”
He was quiet. Sleep pulled at her but she was too cold to go with it.
“Turn over,” Vesh said.
“Why?”
“Just do it.” His voice was soft.
Braeh complied, turning her back to him, and then pulling the blanket even higher so it would catch her breath for extra warmth. Slowly, he slid closer.
“Lift your head.”
She did, and he slipped his arm under. His other arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her tightly against him.
“Body heat,” he said. “We’ll stay warmer this way.”
Braeh didn’t answer. Couldn’t. His body pressed against hers. His heat, his strength… it did weird things to her. Weird and wonderful things. She’d spent her fair share of time in the arms of a man, but this time, it felt different.
It felt like home. Warm fire and apple pie and fuzzy blankets.
Minutes passed and the shivering stopped, and she felt herself drifting once again.
Vesh buried his face in her hair, inhaling, and then nuzzling the nape of her neck, but his hands didn’t roam. “I’ve never done this before.”
“What? Cuddle?”
He hesitated, probably trying to think of a different word for what they were doing. “Yeah.”
“That’s a shame. Cuddling is one of the great joys in life.”
Squeezing her closer, he sighed.
“You know what? I think you’re right.”
Chapter Ten
The next time Braeh awoke, it was to the light of day. The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes, was Vesh staring back at her. He was still as could be, his head resting on his bicep. She’d think he was asleep if not for the intensity of his gaze.
Second day in a row waking up to him staring. This was the beginning of an odd trend.
“Why are you doing that?” Her voice was hoarse from sleep.
His gaze dipped to her mouth. “What?”
“Staring.”
And back to her eyes. “You’re beautiful. I like watching you sleep.”
Braeh’s cheeks heated, but she brushed his compliment off with a joke. “You know that sounds creepy, right?”
He shrugged. “You asked.”
To escape his watchful gaze, Braeh braved the cold and ran to the bathroom. She knew exactly what happened to her bobbed hair after a night of heavy sleep. Glancing in the mirror, she winced. Yep. It was bad enough to scare small children. Halloween costume, here I come. Forget Zombie Queen, she could just be Braeh In The Morning.
She finger combed the locks back into place for a temporary fix, then used the toilet and brushed her teeth. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Yep. That would have to do.
Opening the bathroom door, she ran back to bed, curling in the warm covers. Vesh had rolled onto his back and was glaring at the ceiling.
“So…” Everything felt very awkward in the light of morning. Normally, she’d busy herself making breakfast, but that wasn’t happening. “I wish this place had a kitchen.”
He glanced at her. His jaw was set and harsh, but his two day beard growth softened it slightly.
“A
nd a gas fireplace would be nice.”
Just then, her phone beeped. Rolling over, she grabbed it from the night stand and opened the text from Kerri.
Meeting in the cafeteria at 8.
Braeh texted back, Got it.
“Don’t people have their own kitchens here?” she asked.
“I’m sure they do.” Vesh stood and threw chunks of wood into the fireplace, along with a starter log. “These are guest cabins, used for temporary housing. For visitors or if someone is displaced for some reason.”
“So there’s a cafeteria.”
He nodded, striking a match and lighting the starter. “For gathering. We like doing things as a community. As a pack. I’d guess it’s used for lunch mostly. But they probably serve breakfast too.” He glanced at her. “You hungry?”
Oddly, she was. Waiting for lunch seemed impossible today. Maybe it was all the excitement catching up to her. “Yes. And it’s only the first day but I already miss cooking. Also, Kerri says we need to meet there at eight.”
He rummaged through his duffle bag and came out with a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. “I’m taking a shower,” he mumbled. “I’ll leave the door unlocked in case you need to use the bathroom to get ready.”
He was in the bathroom with the water running before she could answer. And yeah, no way was she stepping foot in that steamy room with only a thin plastic sheet separating her from his naked body. Not when simply thinking about what he looked like shirtless made her feel shaky.
Braeh sat on the edge of the bed as the realization hit her hard: she was in trouble. She was feeling too much, too quick. This never happened. Not to her. She wasn’t the type to fall fast and brutal. Or to fall at all. That was the problem with every past lover. She’d never loved them. And she didn’t love Vesh either. Hell, she’d only known him two days. But… she could see it. See herself falling for him. And that was the problem. Loving someone like Vesh wouldn’t be easy. Instinctively, she knew that.
She’d dressed and had her shoes on when he strolled from the bathroom wearing the jeans and nothing else. A black band peeked out from the waist. Oh. The black t-shirt was not a t-shirt.
Braeh bit her cheek and turned away from the sight of his damp, smooth skin. She yanked the sheets to the top of the bed, followed by the blanket, and fluffed the pillows. When she looked up, he was pulling a shirt over his head. His muscles flexed with the movement, and she swallowed hard.