Her Soldier's Solace

by Lisa Ladew

“Kerry, what if he’s dead? What if the army lied to me when they said he wasn’t? There has to be a reason he disappeared.” Charlene felt the tears threaten, but she bit them back.

  Kerry shrugged. “How should I know? Maybe he found a girlfriend in Afghanistan. Got some local pregnant.”

  “He wouldn’t do that,” Charlene nearly growled. Her sister had never put that theory out in the open before, and Charlene was glad to finally be able to refute it. “He’s not like that. He would have told me. He respects me.”

  Kerry scoffed. “He respects you so much that you haven’t heard a word from him in a year. So much that supposedly he’s back in the states somewhere, but you don’t know where because the letters just dried up.”

  Charlene stared at her sister, torn between what her sister wanted, Charlene to get over Relic and move on with her life, and what she wanted, to never give up without proof, and never believe that Relic didn’t have a good reason.

  Kerry’s face turned wondering for a moment. “Maybe you should…”

  “What? Should what?” Charlene scrambled to her feet. She was willing to try absolutely anything at this point. She would never give up until she knew for sure one way or the other.

  Kerry’s eyes turned distant. “Nothing, Charlene, sorry I mentioned it.”

  She hurried out of the room, leaving Charlene to watch her go, pain in her heart.

  Chapter 3

  Relic stood at the bar of Club Privé, dressed all in black, feeling female eyes on him. He rubbed his right cheek with his light right hand and scanned the crowd, looking for signs of trouble, or could-be trouble. The female would find him. They always did.

  From the other side of the pool, his friend and boss, Gavin Manning, caught his eye. Relic focused intently on him, waiting for the message. Gavin raised a finger and lifted his chin. Wait right there. Got it.

  Gavin took a few moments to get to the bar because everyone wanted to talk to him, shake his hand, yell congratulations to him over the beat of the music.

  Finally, he arrived and stood close to Relic, dropping his mouth close to Relic’s ear. “The room’s been double-booked. I had to tell Walter he can’t have it tonight. I’ll need you to keep an eye on him. You know how he gets when he drinks too much. Add on angry and sexually-frustrated and he might cause trouble.”

  Relic nodded. “I got him.”

  “He’s a valued member, though, so don’t be too heavy-handed on him.”

  “No problem, boss.”

  Gavin smiled. “I know you’ve got it under control, Relic. That’s why I’m taking off. Heading home.”

  Relic felt a pang of something go through him. Not jealousy. He liked and respected Gavin too much for that. Loss? Desire? He wasn’t going to examine it. “Thanks, boss. How’s Carrie?”

  “Good. Happy. About to kick my ass if I don’t make it home soon.”

  “Go, go,” Relic said.

  Gavin shook his hand, then headed for the exit in a hurry and Relic turned his attention back to the crowd. Now to find Walter.

  Before he could take a step, though, the female who’d been watching him made her move. She was tall, as tall as him in her 6-inch heels. Her fishnet dress would have been better left in the bedroom, but anything was ok inside Club Privé. Relic could see every man in the place try to figure out what to watch, her clearly-visible nipples, or her barely-hidden pussy.

  “I didn’t do it,” she purred as she reached him, “but you can still frisk me if you want.”

  “No need, ma’am, I can tell you’re not hiding anything.”

  “Oh,” she pouted. “Not in the mood for a cavity search?”

  Relic resisted rolling his eyes. What he wasn’t in the mood for was being pursued by a woman who so obviously had nothing but sex and conquest on her mind. He liked sex. A lot. But he liked it better when it was with someone he knew and cared about. A name flashed through his mind and he tore his thoughts away from it.

  “I’m Kitty,” she said, and held out her fingers for him to shake.

  “Nice to meet you, Kitty, now excuse me please, I am on the clock.”

  She lifted her hand to his face and ran her fingers down the scarred mess that was his right cheek. He jerked away. “Don’t touch me without my permission,” he growled, his decorum destroyed at her presumption and rudeness.

  Her eyes went wide and innocent. “I’m sorry. I’m just so curious? How did it happen? Were you in the war? You were a soldier, weren’t you? Or a Marine? I can tell from your haircut and your body. You have the body of a Marine.”

  Relic bit his lip to keep from snapping at her. They always wanted to touch, and they always asked how it happened. Like they saw him as some sort of freak show they paid good money to see, fondle, maybe fuck. God, he hated women like her.

  “Relic,” a voice said behind him and he turned, glad to be pulled away from Kitty. He didn’t trust himself not to call her out on her bullshit, but he couldn’t. Not if he wanted to keep his job.

  It was the club’s secretary, holding a large box in her hands. “You got a package.”

  “Thanks,” he said absently, taking the package and walking it through the crowd to the camera room, a place where he could have relative quiet and still do his job. He shut the door behind him and watched all the cameras for a moment before he turned his attention to the box. He shook the box and frowned at it. It felt empty.

  It had his name and Club Privé on it, and no return address. He bent to examine the postmark. Westwood Harbor, California. Relic’s heart double-beat in his chest and he caught his breath. Only one person in Westwood Harbor knew where he was, and that person would not have sent him a box.

  He ripped it open and stared at the nothing inside. No, not nothing. A rigid piece of white paper stood up along one side. He plucked it out.

  Found you. Call me, you lying bastard, or I’ll tell her everything.

  No name. Only a phone number.

  Relic’s fingers shook as he stared at the phone number. Oh how he’d longed for something like this to happen, and dreaded it also. His waiting and agonizing was over. His hand was now forced. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the number, making himself do it.

  Even though she only spoke one word, he recognized Kerry’s voice.

  “Hello?”

  “I never lied to her.”

  “Wha? Who?”

  Relic could tell immediately when Kerry figured out who he was, even though she didn’t recognize his new, raspy voice that went along well with his new, scarred body. Her tone changed to guarded and hostile. “Bullshit. You said you cared about her. You said you loved her.”

  Relic swallowed his pride and his soul and forced the words out. “You found me, but have you seen a picture of me?”

  She hesitated before answering. “Yeah.”

  Relic shook his head and stared at the ceiling. “You got some private dickwad following me?”

  “Something like that.”

  “You know then. I didn’t want to inflict that on her. I didn’t want her to have to make that choice.”

  “She loves you.”

  “She loves someone I used to be.”

  Kerry didn’t speak for several moments. “Fine. Fuck. Don’t you think she should get to choose? We’ll just keep playing this game if you insist. You disappeared, but I think Charlene deserves to know what actually happened to you. She still reads your fucking letters, you know. It’s been a year and two months and she still thinks she’s going to get another one any day.”

  Relic’s heart broke. That wasn’t what he had wanted at all. When he could speak again, he did. “Kerry, that’s not all. I came back… different. Changed, and not only my face and body. I was bitter, you could say. Angry, for sure. I couldn’t expose her to that. Not after what she’s been through. I didn’t want her to know me like that.”

  The line seemed to go dead, but Relic knew Kerry was there still. She loved her sister, as much as Relic did, and she didn’t want he
r exposed to that either. Not after Wayne.

  “What about now?” she finally said.

  Relic took a step backwards and leaned against the wall, seeing the year’s worth of counseling, rehabilitation, survivor’s meetings, surgeries, and veteran’s groups march through his mind. It was all he did anymore. Work, and try to recover from the hell that had been Afghanistan. As for experience with living, breathing humans? He didn’t have a ton of that these days. “I’m trying.”

  Kerry was silent for even longer this time, as if considering something deeply. When she finally spoke Relic’s throat tried to close. “We’re coming to New York next week, for my birthday. Me and Charlene. We might even check out that club you work at─”

  “Don’t bring her here! It’s…”

  “I know all about Club Privé, Relic. It sounds like the kind of place I would love. As for Charlene? I suspect she could be convinced to enjoy it too, find what she’s looking for, one way or another.”

  Relic stared at the monitors showing the barely-dressed women writhing on the dance floor with handsy men, the bold unions in the corners and who-knew-what happening in the private room and temporary but immensely-popular semi-private rooms. “What days are you going to be here? When exactly will you come to the club?”

  “I’ll tell you if you give us VIP access, Relic. It’s up to you whether you’re there or not. But if you’re not, I’ll know what that means. If you don’t show up, I better not ever see you again or I’ll hurt you as much as you hurt her.”

  Relic knew that. He took down the information and hung up the phone. He had to talk to Gavin. Had to have a plan, a strategy.

  He only had five days until his heart was restored … or ripped out of his chest and destroyed. If it was the latter, he didn’t know how he was going to survive it.

  Chapter 4

  Charlene sat on the balcony of the hotel room, sipping her drink and staring out at the city. Even from the thirty-second floor, the traffic noise in New York City was greater than what she was used to. It didn’t matter though, she was enjoying herself. Thank goodness she’d let Kerry talk her into going on this trip. She’d needed a vacation, hadn’t taken one in years. It was almost criminal the way the hospital let her do it, even as she worked daily double shifts to cover for others who were using their vacation days. She had seventy-two days saved up and using seven of them to accompany her sister to New York City on a birthday trip had been a smart move. She sighed and put her feet up on the tiny glass coffee table in front of her, idly watching the people in the building opposite of them move inside their rooms and out onto their balconies.

  Susan, Kerry’s best friend and their traveling companion for the trip, breezed out the door onto the balcony and sank into the chair next to her. “You only have a few more minutes, and then Kerry’s going to start chirping at you to get ready.”

  Charlene lifted her drink and smiled at Sue, the only one of Kerry’s friends she could ever stand. “Let her chirp. I’m happy right here.”

  Sue laughed and took a sip of her own drink. “So do you think we will see any sex?”

  Charlene choked and had to wipe Midori off of her chin and chest. “What? When?”

  Sue watched her, nonplussed. “Tonight, because we are going to a sex club.”

  Charlene put her drink down and dropped her feet to the floor. “What?” She stood and ran into the room screaming for her sister.

  Kerry knew exactly what Charlene was upset about. She emerged from the bathroom, eyeliner in hand, shushing Charlene and pushing her back out onto the balcony and into her chair. “Relax, you’ve got to be able to say you did it once in your life. You don’t have to do anything. The club has very strict rules and they are all to protect the women that go.” She twirled her dark hair around her finger. “Oh, and we’re meeting some friends of mine there too.”

  “Friends?” Charlene said accusingly. “You only know one person in New York. Your ex, Raymond.”

  Kerry smiled. “And he’s bringing a friend. Danny or Donnie or something.” Kerry disappeared and Charlene sighed. Typical Kerry.

  Charlene leaned toward Susan. “Do you think she’s going to try to fix one of us up with him?”

  “You probably. She likes me single.”

  Charlene eyed Susan. “What does that mean?”

  Susan only shrugged. Charlene watched the neighboring building for a few moments and then stood up, running back into the room, yelling at her sister. “Kerry, is it a fancy place? I don’t have anything to wear!”

  Kerry’s voice drifted out from the bathroom. “Remember the dress I bought earlier while we were shopping? I got it for you.”

  Charlene stopped in front of the closet and slid open the doors with dread. The dress Kerry had bought hung there, if you could call it a dress. It was short, a gorgeous peach color, and with a plunging neckline that went all the way past boobs to bellybutton. “I can’t wear that,” she yelled to her sister.

  Kerry came out of the bathroom with mascara in her hand. “It’s a fancy place. You’re going to look awfully underdressed in your jeans and tank top, if they even let you in.”

  ***

  A taxi dropped them off in front of the club and Charlene smiled to herself even as she pulled her dress down at the hem and up at the boobs. There were at least three hundred people standing in line outside. Kerry hated lines and would never stand in one like that.

  Charlene’s happiness faded though when Kerry did not turn around to stop their taxi from leaving, or even consult with the two of them. Instead, she marched directly to the front of the line without even looking to see if they were following. Charlene and Susan both hurried after her as best as they could on their high heels.

  Charlene arrived at the front of the line just in time to hear Kerry give her name, nod at the doorman’s clipboard, and say, “I should be on your VIP list, me, plus two.”

  The large man dressed all in black looked at her dispassionately and checked his board. He unhooked the rope separating him from the crowd and moved back slightly so the girls could get past him. “The theme tonight is Mardi Gras. Please pick a mask. You aren’t required to keep it on all night, but it is encouraged. Enjoy your evening, ladies.”

  Charlene swallowed hard and stepped past the doorman, eyes wide, feeling the glares of the people in line. Kerry and Susan were both dressed even more provocatively than her, Kerry in a skin-tight little black dress with a back that plunged an inch below her ass crack, and Susan in a violet skirt and what could only be described as pasties that covered at least a good quarter of her breasts. Still their outfits were modest compared to what she was seeing on the women in the line.

  You’re not in Kansas anymore, she told herself, even though she’d never been to Kansas in her life. But nightclubs like this didn’t exist in her hometown. Still, she felt a thrill go through her as they walked to the door of what was arguably one of the nicest and most-sought after entertainment venues in all of New York city. When she was with Kerry, she lived more life in a few minutes than she’d ever find her way into on her own.

  Against the entrance were racks and racks of masks, some small enough to only cover a person’s eyes, some full-face. Kerry shrieked and looked back at Charlene and Susan. “Mardi Gras night, how exciting!” She picked out a cat’s eye mask easily and put it on her face, turning around. “Charlene, tie me.”

  Charlene pulled the ribbons tight and tied a bow for her sister, then tried to pick out her own mask. Susan had also picked one and Kerry helped her put it on. They both looked sexy and mysterious. Charlene smiled, excited suddenly. It would be a fun night. She knew it.

  She picked a delicate butterfly mask with black curlicues that covered much of her forehead and cheeks and her sister tied it on for her.

  The doorman was watching them. “Hot,” he said with a gruff smile. Charlene curtsied to him. “Thank you, sir.”

  Kerry laughed and pulled on her arm. The three of them entered the club together, and they
stopped as they stepped over the threshold to take it all in. The place was gorgeous, with marble floors and a large dance area. Kerry caught her breath first and pulled them to the bar. “Three long island iced teas,” she ordered. Charlene’s favorite drink.

  Charlene took her drink and sipped it, checking out the crowd as Kerry and Susan giggled together. Probably casing out men already. Next to them, an elegant couple kissed and spoke softly to each other, stomach to stomach, the woman’s hands on the man’s waist and the man’s hands in the woman’s hair. Charlene watched them, not wanting to feel the jealousy that spread through her at their closeness. The man was tall and dark with blue eyes that reminded Charlene of Rel─ she cut off her thoughts with a vengeance and turned her attention to the woman. She was shorter, maybe a bit over five foot, with long blonde curls and brown eyes.

  Kerry pushed next to her and spoke in her ear. “Those are the owners. Gavin and Carrie Manning.”

  Charlene turned to her. “A husband and wife owning a sex club? How do you know?”

  Kerry giggled. “See, that’s why you have to do stuff with me, Charlene. I’ll show you the world. You may be the big sister but you are way too sheltered.”

  Charlene rolled her eyes and looked at the crowd, giving Kerry the silent treatment that worked best on her. Women and men mingled in much the same way as she would expect to see in any other club. No one was having sex on the floor, no blowjobs in the corners. Charlene didn’t know whether to be disappointed, or relieved.

  Kerry sighed theatrically. “Okay. Yeah, lots of times a husband and wife own clubs together, especially if they are in the lifestyle.”

  “Are they?”

  Kerry shrugged. “The website didn’t say, but I doubt it. See how he’s got his arm around her and they only have eyes for each other? They are all about themselves.”

  That unwelcome green-eyed emotion hit Charlene again and she faced the crowd to head it off. The crowd shifted and Charlene gasped. “Is that a pool?”

  “I know, right? Amazing.”