by Zoe Lynne
The longer class dragged on, the more Brynn became lost in her thoughts. Part of her wished she could hold Cassidy’s hand in front of the entire school and kiss her no matter who was watching. Part of her wished she could stand up to everyone and admit how deep her feelings for Cassidy were. Then there was her completely coward side that wouldn’t let her own how she felt and flip the bird to anyone who didn’t like it.
The bell rang, and Brynn didn’t even notice. She’d been so lost in thought that the normally nerve-racking, eardrum-shattering sound didn’t even bother her. In fact, it took Cassidy reaching across the aisle and giving the sleeve of her hoodie a tug before Brynn snapped out of her daydream.
“Earth to Brynnie. Come in, Brynnie,” Cassidy said in a singsong voice.
“Huh? What?” Brynn looked around the room. People were already clearing out. “I was, um… uh… daydreaming, I guess.”
A wicked grin crept up on Cassidy’s face. “Was it naughty?”
The moment Brynn opened her mouth to answer Cassidy’s question, Laura stormed by them so fast it knocked the book off Brynn’s desk. Her best friend—or maybe it was “former” best friend now—glared back at her before disappearing from the classroom. Sighing, Brynn reached down and grabbed her book.
“No. Sorry to disappoint, but it wasn’t naughty,” Brynn finally said.
“Are you okay? You look… sad,” Cassidy asked, all joking gone from her voice as she packed her bag and rose from her seat.
“Not sad. I’m actually pretty happy, all things considered. I guess I’m just… disappointed. Does that make sense?”
“Did I do something to disappoint you?”
“Oh no. No.” Brynn stood from her desk and gathered her things. She hefted her backpack up on her shoulders and waited for Cassidy to join her at the end of the row of desks. “I’m disappointed with Laura for being so rancid. And I’m disappointed with myself for not standing up to everyone. It sucks.”
“You can always change that, you know. All it takes is a little strength. I know you’ve got it, just look deep inside for it.” Cassidy locked stares with Brynn
“I’m not strong enough, Cassidy. I’m really not.”
“We don’t really know how strong we are until being strong is the only option left.”
“And right now, I have the option of keeping my mouth shut.” Brynn glanced around the classroom and noticed everyone was gone, probably halfway to their cars by now. She leaned in and gave Cassidy a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Be careful at practice. I’ll be waiting for you by my car.”
“Okies. Just, um… just know that you can talk to me ’bout anything, ’kay?”
“I know. You’re the only one I can talk to.”
“That’s ’cause you loooooove me… you wanna kisssssss meeee…,” Cassidy sang.
Brynn laughed and gave her girlfriend a playful shove. “God, go. You’re going to be late.”
She laughed as Cassidy bounced out the door, long blonde curls springing with each peppy step. To Brynn’s world of darkness, Cassidy Rivers was a welcome ray of sunlight.
Brynn headed in the opposite direction, bypassing her locker. She planned on going to the library to read while she waited on Cassidy to finish practice, but the idea of watching Cassidy’s beautiful body move as she performed sounded so much more fun. Brynn could hide beside the bleachers, and no one would ever be the wiser.
The sun outside the school was bright, so bright it blinded Brynn for a second. She flattened her hand to her brow, and the moment her eyes adjusted to the shade, she saw a darkened figure leaning against her car. She took a few steps closer. The figure started to come into focus. Purple hair. Black clothes. Black backpack.
“Laura,” she sighed.
Before Brynn had a chance to run and hide, Laura turned her head, and their stares locked. There was absolutely no avoiding the girl now, no avoiding the conversation she’d been waiting to have with her friend.
Laura stood from the side of the car, and she met Brynn halfway across the parking lot. She didn’t look happy at all. In fact, she looked downright pissed. Her nostrils flared, and her lips were pursed. Pure anger filled her eyes.
“What are you doing?” Laura asked, tone demanding.
“I’m going to my car,” Brynn responded flatly before continuing across the half-empty lot.
“You know what I mean,” Laura yelled back. “What are you doing with Cassidy Rivers?”
“Thought you had us all figured out.”
“So you’re a lesbian now?”
That stopped Brynn dead in her tracks. Her heart sank down into her toes, and her breath hitched. She didn’t turn around, fearing the expression on her face might give her away, but didn’t her lack of response already give her away?
“What do you care?” she finally asked.
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
We don’t really know how strong we are until being strong is the only option left, she heard the ghost of Cassidy’s voice in her head. But did Brynn have the kind of strength it took to admit what she was to someone other than herself and her girlfriend?
She spun around on her booted feet and faced Laura, then took two steps toward her. “Why do you care what I am? What does it matter? Aren’t I the same person you became friends with?”
“No. No, you’re not. You’ve changed, and you’re always with her. You never want to hang out with me anymore. We never talk or anything!”
“So you’re jealous? Is that what this is all about?”
“No. I. Freaking. Hate. Her.”
“Why?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?”
“You know what?” Laura said as she tightened her fists around the straps of her backpack. “You can have your fun with her. I’m done. You want to be friends with cheerleaders, have at it. I don’t need you.”
Before Brynn had a chance to even try rationalizing with Laura, her friend stormed away, heading across the parking lot and over to her own car. She climbed inside, revved the engine, and squealed tires out of the school’s lot and down the street.
Honestly, Brynn felt horrible for the way things went down with Laura. She didn’t mean for the conversation to go the way it did. She didn’t mean to treat Laura that way, but everything spun out of control before Brynn could get a handle on the situation. Now Laura hated her.
She climbed up on the hood of her car, popped her earbuds in, and pulled the book she’d been reading out of her backpack. Everything would be okay as soon as Cassidy finished practice. They could go back to Cassidy’s house and work on their project just like they’d planned, and forget everything that had happened with Laura.
Chapter 26
CASSIDY sat drenched in sweat in the passenger seat of Brynn’s car. The air conditioning vents were pointed at her, but she was still hella hot. Not that it mattered. From the moment she’d finished practice and found Brynn at her car in the desolate parking lot, she’d known something was wrong with her girlfriend. She thought about asking, but Brynn had looked so happy to see her, she decided to let Pinky open up on her own instead.
Ten minutes into their ride, Brynn still hadn’t uttered a word about what had her so upset. Cassidy finally broke down and turned in her seat to face Brynn’s profile.
“Okay, what’s wrong? And don’t say ‘nothing’, ’cause I can tell it’s something.”
“Laura met me at my car today. She’s so mad at me. I, um… don’t think we’re friends anymore,” Brynn admitted.
That should’ve made Cassidy happy, but it didn’t. Actually, she felt really crappy about it. Not because she disliked Laura, but because she knew how much Brynn cared about her, and losing someone you care about was always hard.
“I’m sorry,” she offered quietly. “I know how close you two were. Is there anything you can do to fix it?”
“Short of turning my back on you, no.”
“You know you can do that if
it means saving your friendship. I’d understand.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Brynn said without a moment of hesitation, as if she didn’t even need a second to consider the possibility. “I don’t want to be without you, and if Laura can’t be happy for me, then I guess she wasn’t the friend I thought she was.”
Cassidy Rivers, welcome to a rock and a hard place.
Seriously, what was she supposed to do here? On one hand, she wanted Brynn to have friendships she felt comfortable with and wanted her to be happy. On the other hand, she didn’t want to lose Brynn because of it. As she sat and thought about how to reply to Brynn without sounding like a needy witch or an arrogant ass, Brynn groaned and said, “Now what?”
When Cassidy looked up, she saw Laura’s Honda Civic parked in the driveway to the Michaelses’ home. “Oh for frick’s sake!”
“Why would she be here? Why?” Brynn’s voice grew louder and louder. “Didn’t she say all she needed to already? What could she possibly want with me?”
“Chillax, Brynnie. Maybe she’s here to apologize for being such a psycho.”
Yeah, maybe, but it was highly unlikely. Cassidy had the distinct feeling that something horrible was about to happen. Call it her spidey senses, but her gut tingled in the way people describe butterflies in their stomach—only instead of butterflies, they were zombies. Really mean, hungry ones at that. “Or maybe she wants to get her stuff? Surely there’s got to be some of her things in your room, right?”
“Who knows?” Brynn said flatly as she pulled up next to Laura’s Honda. She parked and sat there for a long moment, staring up at the house with absolute dread. “We won’t find out if we just sit here.”
“You want me to come in with you? I promise I’ll behave, regardless of what she says or does to me.” It was a huge promise, but Cassidy would try her hardest not to make the situation any more difficult than it already was for Brynn, who looked like someone had killed her bunny rabbit.
“Please,” Brynn said as she turned the key and shut her car off. She grabbed her backpack out of the backseat and met Cassidy at the concrete walkway. They headed up to the front door together. A unified front, indivisible and unwavering.
As soon as Brynn turned the handle of the door, those zombies in Cassidy’s tummy began a full-on assault. Her hands began to quiver slightly, and a feeling of dread sparked through every cell in her body. It was only made worse when she heard Laura’s voice coming from the living room to her left, and Mr. Michaels’s stern voice calling out, “Brynn, is that you? I need to speak with you, young lady.”
Zombies? You’ve officially killed Cassidy Rivers.
BRYNN felt all the blood rush from her face. Her heart thumped hard inside her chest. She knew that voice. That was her father’s concerned voice, colored with a hint of anger. Whatever Laura had done, there was no going back from. Brynn would never forgive her.
She gave Cassidy one last look, then stepped through the living room doorway. Her daddy sat in his recliner and her mom at the edge of the sofa closest to him. Laura sat on the end, smirking as Brynn made her appearance. Thank God she had Cassidy behind her. With Cassidy there, she knew she could maintain a certain level of control just to keep from embarrassing herself in front of her girlfriend.
“Yes, Daddy?” Brynn asked, hesitation coloring her shaky voice.
“Have a seat.” He nodded toward the chair on the other side of the room. Cassidy didn’t immediately follow her. Instead, she stood by the door. That is, until Brynn’s dad said, “You might as well come in and have a seat. Apparently, this involves you too.”
Cassidy looked about as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. She wrung her hands as she silently made her way into the room. She took a seat between Laura and Brynn’s mother. “Yes, sir” was all she managed, but she kept her chin up and didn’t avert her eyes. Cassidy wasn’t ashamed.
“Is there something you need to tell us, Brynn?” her father asked.
He kept his expression stoic, and Brynn felt completely lost. She looked over at her mom for some hint as to how she was supposed to answer that question and came up blank. Her mom only sat there staring down at her fidgeting fingers. Of course, Laura gave nothing away either… other than looking pleased with herself.
“I don’t know, Daddy. What is this about?”
He inhaled sharply, sat back in his chair, and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn’t take his steely stare off Brynn, and that icy gaze of his only made her heart pound harder.
“Tell me about your ‘relationship’ with your new friend,” he finally said, giving a slight nod toward Cassidy.
No. No. No. This can’t be happening to me. How could Laura do this to me?
Brynn’s entire body started to shake. Her throat fisted around every short breath she tried to take. She took up the same fidgeting routine her mother had been pulling since the two of them walked into the house. How was she supposed to respond to that? She couldn’t very well tell her daddy she liked girls, could she?
Licking her dry lips, Brynn looked back up at her daddy, then said, “We have a project together in school. We’re sorta friends now.”
“Sort of friends?” her father repeated.
“Yes, sir.” Brynn shrugged. “I used to think she was mean, but she’s really not.”
“I’m going to ask you one question, and I want you to be completely honest with me, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Are you a lesbian?”
Cassidy’s sudden choked coughing broke the momentary silence following the dreaded question. Her blue eyes widened and watered, causing Brynn’s mother to offer her a drink. Cassidy shook her head, mumbled that she was okay, and sank down into the couch, probably wishing it could swallow her alive.
Brynn knew her face had paled. She could feel all the life draining out of her body. That question had been coming. She knew it even before the interrogation began, and instead of sitting there wishing things could’ve been different for her, she immediately looked over at Laura and said, “Get out.” And yet as angry as she was, her voice sounded calm, frighteningly calm.
“Laura,” her mother said, “I think it would be best if you leave now.”
Sorrow filled Laura’s eyes, but Brynn didn’t care. Even as Laura hung her head and cautiously walked out of the room, Brynn didn’t care about her hurt or her pain or her sorrow. Brynn felt betrayed, and that was Laura’s fault. Her former friend had crossed a line she didn’t need to cross, and her mistake left Brynn and Cassidy paying the price.
“Daddy, I….”
Brynn swallowed hard as she stood from the chair. She began pacing a tight circle, like a caged animal with a need to break free. As she walked that short distance—back and forth, back and forth—she thought of an easy way to let her parents down, but there was no easy way to do it.
And when she finally resigned herself to that fact, she looked back up at her dad and said, “Yes, sir. I think I am.”
If anything in the world could’ve crushed her, it would’ve been the look on her parents’ faces. They looked nothing less than disappointed in her and she hated that. She’d never done anything to disappoint them—anger them, yes, but she’d never once let them down. Not until this moment.
“Get out of my house,” her father said in a quiet, even voice. He didn’t sound angry at all, but rather heartbroken.
Her mother didn’t say a word.
“Daddy,” Brynn breathed. Her legs trembled so bad she thought she might collapse right there. Tears burned beneath her eyelids, but somehow they didn’t manage to break free. Her heart beat wildly inside her chest.
She looked to her mother, who only lowered her head; looked at Cassidy, who appeared just as lost as she was; then she finally turned her stare to her father, who couldn’t seem to look her in the eyes.
“Daddy, please.”
“I can’t condone this, Brynn.”
“Condone what? The way I feel?”<
br />
“The choice you made.”
“I didn’t make this choice, Daddy!” Brynn’s voice rose to near screaming. She stabbed her finger in the air. The rims of her eyes reddened. “I can’t help the way I feel. What do you want from me?”
“I want you to get out of my house.”
Without a single uttered syllable, Brynn tore out of the front door and down the driveway. Cassidy called after her, chasing behind her, but Brynn didn’t stop. She couldn’t stop, not until she had a safe place to break down, and that place ended up being the middle of the street at the entrance to the cul-de-sac. Her knees hit the asphalt, and tears poured from her eyes.
Chapter 27
BY THE time Cassidy caught up to Brynn, her heart had shattered into a trillion pieces. She was a tough girl. There was very little that could move her, but the sight of Brynn crying helplessly in the middle of the street did it.
She eased down beside Brynn, gently rubbing a hand in small circles across her back. “Shhh. Don’t cry, Brynnie. He just doesn’t know how to handle it. Give him some time.” A car drove by, slowing down to witness the fiasco in the middle of the usually quiet street. Cassidy shot the driver a blood-chilling glare, and the man drove off.
“Please don’t cry. It’ll be okay… I promise.” It was a whole lot to promise, but she didn’t know what else to say to calm the hysterical Brynn down. And with every loud sob that escaped Brynn, Cassidy’s heart broke a little more.
For what seemed like forever, they sat there—Brynn crying her eyes out and Cassidy making every attempt to assuage her wrecked emotions. At this point, she was about ready to heft Brynn over her shoulder and carry her the short distance to her own house. At least her mother and grandmother wouldn’t be half as judgmental as Brynn’s parents had been. As a matter of fact, that was a pretty good idea.
Softly, she said, “Do you want to come to my house?”
“Please,” Brynn somehow managed through her crying. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”