Illumine Her

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Illumine Her Page 14

by Sieni A. M.


  Chase watched her intently as her mind worked. Alana gazed back at him and frowned.

  “I thought you could just read it through my aura,” she pointed out.

  “Yes, I can see your emotions. When you’re angry, upset, joyful, hurt. Believe me, it’s entertaining.” His lips tugged upward when he spoke. “But I want to know what goes on in that pretty head of yours to make you feel the way you do.”

  Her face heated. She couldn’t help it. The man was forward, if not persistent. She considered his question seriously before she spoke.

  “For the longest time, I was driven to study hard and graduate from nursing school, to make my parents proud, to make my extended family proud, to be an example for my younger cousins—a role model if you’d like. It’s not easy to win a scholarship in this country, but I worked hard, and when I was awarded one, I was ecstatic. My parents were thrilled. When they’re happy, I’m happy. I could finally go overseas and achieve my academic dreams, and then I graduated and came back. The pressure to succeed has always been there and also the fear of losing something I’ve worked so hard to gain. Now, I serve my community by paying off my scholarship bond, I help my family by supporting them financially whenever I can, and I assist my mother with whatever errands she needs to get done.”

  Chase sat back. “That’s very honorable, Alana,” he commented. “I’ve always admired the family dynamic and sense of community in this country. The Pacific Islands have always shone when it comes to family obligations—sacrificing one’s life to serve their parents and extended family. It’s admirable, but I can’t help but wonder where the individual fits into it all; the line blurs easily between the community and the individual. Where do you fit into this, Alana?”

  Alana frowned at his words. She couldn’t comprehend a life where she wasn’t a part of something—her family, her youth group, her village. They were synonymous with her identity.

  “I guess what I’m trying to ask is, who takes care of you?”

  She swallowed and looked away. Biting her lip, she mulled over his words. She was used to being swept up in the busyness of familial obligations. Up to this point, she was content to be cushioned in a family that was large enough where the basic communal needs were met. But the danger was that it threatened to overlook smaller issues, albeit important ones, and she knew what that was like; she had experienced it firsthand. Was he suggesting she was alone in all of this? She chose to ignore this latest probe.

  “A tattoo,” she said quietly.

  “What?”

  “You asked what I would like to do but fear I won’t get done. I want to get a tattoo.”

  It wasn’t her top personal goal, but it was better to steer him away from anything more deep on her part.

  Chase raised his eyebrows and his mouth moved into a slow smile. “Okay, you have to tell me why.”

  Alana smiled at his reaction. “Because it’s something that I know will hurt like hell, but when it’s done, I’ll be proud of myself that I went through with it. But it’ll have to be something special to me, something significant to be etched forever into my skin.”

  “What would that be?” he asked.

  “I don’t know.” She half shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet. Maybe that quote by Christopher Robin?”

  Chase threw his head back and laughed loudly, the joyous rumbling making Alana break out into a full smile. “Alright, I deserved that,” he said smiling. His eyes twinkled with amusement and she held his gaze.

  Silence descended in the cavern, and her heart rate picked up. Do it now.

  “What about you?” she asked tentatively, searching his face for a reaction. She didn’t want Chase to close himself off to her when they were just beginning to get along.

  “What?” he asked, never breaking eye contact.

  “What’s the one thing you want to do in life, but fear you won’t ever accomplish?”

  He was quiet for several moments. Minutes stretched by in silence, the only sound coming from the water dripping down the waterfall. It felt like hours to Alana while she waited patiently for his answer.

  “To fulfill my purpose without fail,” he said with a tone of determination.

  “What purpose is that?” she asked, wary that at any moment he would back down.

  Chase breathed out and gazed beyond the waterfall. He paused and Alana counted several heartbeats before he spoke again. “You’ve seen what I can do with my hands,” he started. She nodded in response even though he was looking away from her and couldn’t see her movement. “I heal people, Alana. Their physical injuries. My work, I guess you would call it, allows me to travel to disaster areas to assist the injured. Earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes, floods, hurricanes. Anything that’s a result of a natural disaster is where you’ll find someone like me.”

  Alana sat still, listening and processing this information. “Someone like you?” she finally asked.

  “Other healers. I’m not the only one with this type of mission,” he continued. “You know when you hear about people miraculously surviving unspeakable disasters? That’s us at work. Saving those people. Giving them a second chance at life. And when we’re not in disaster zones, we’re in hospitals, villages, clinics.”

  “Like the Red Cross? Do you work for the United Nations or something?” she asked.

  Chase smiled. “Or something. I heal people, just like you do, but my mission borders on performing healing work in a non-conventional way, as you’ve witnessed.”

  Alana sucked in a breath. She remembered clearly the incident with Mr. Filipo at the hospital as if it had happened yesterday. She knew that whatever healing that was it couldn’t have originated from anything material. Or did it?

  “How is this even possible? Where did you come from?” she questioned, her brows lowering.

  Chase looked at her. His eyes warmed. “I’m like any man, Alana, as far as physical appearance goes. I have a soul like you. I was created by God, except I don’t have any real parents. Healers are part of a tight-knit community—like a family. We have a Council which guides us and is made up of several of the wisest healers in the world. We have been endowed with certain qualities, abilities, to assist with our work,” he said without a hint of arrogance.

  “Such as?” she prodded.

  He took a deep breath before answering. “Well, you know I have the ability to see auras. They are like a beacon for us when we need to heal...I’ve also lived for a very, very long time.” She frowned at his last addition. “I’m immortal, Alana,” he added quietly.

  She gasped in disbelief. “Immortal?”

  “Yes.”

  “What?” she said incredulously. “You’re joking.” She wanted to laugh and looked at his face for a sign to indicate that he was messing around with her. She was met with a serious gaze instead. Okay… she thought. Just go with it. “So, how long have you been…immortal?” she said, her breath hitching.

  Chase hesitated before answering. “I’ve lived over four hundred years.”

  She reeled back in shock.

  “You’re centuries old?” When he nodded, she let out a boisterous breath. She wanted to laugh hysterically. Cry. Or maybe both.

  “Are you alright?” he asked.

  “No. I’m not,” she said honestly. “Other than the fact that you sound like every other fictional character I’ve come to read about, this is crazy.” She paused.

  Silence stretched between them before she spoke again. “Why do you look like you’re in your mid-twenties?”

  “Healers reach their maturity when they become twenty five, and then we stop aging physically.”

  “That’s impossible. All of this—everything you’ve said, it can’t be real.”

  “Nothing’s impossible if it’s created by God,” he said softly.

  Well she couldn’t argue with that. She had always believed in a higher power and attempted to live her life according to an unwritten moral code inspired by that higher power. But this was something else.
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  “If I hadn’t witnessed what you’re capable of doing, I’d probably have a more difficult time swallowing this. My gut tells me this is true, but it’s hard to wrap my head around it all.”

  She remained motionless except for the rapid tempo of her heart racing away as if it were trying to escape from her chest. She suspected there was something different about Chase but never did she imagine an entire community existed with these superhuman abilities.

  “When you said there are others, other healers, are they all like you? Where are they? How many are there?”

  He smiled at her interrogation. “To answer your first question, yes, there are others like me. They have similar strengths. There are too many to count, but we are everywhere. Every continent has an established number of healers. But that doesn’t stop us from traveling the globe. I’ve predominantly established my work here in the Pacific. My homes are in the general vicinity, but I also like to visit and stay with friends in other parts of the world as well.”

  “You’ve traveled everywhere,” she mused. “Were you here when the tsunami struck in 2006? Did you heal people then?” she asked.

  She had heard the stories—stories of miraculous survival from victims who thought they were going to perish but emerged out of the raging waters at the last second.

  Chase shook his head. “No. I wasn’t here, but there were other healers present. I was at the tsunami in Southeast Asia. I have to space out my visits so people don’t recognize me in their old age and raise questions. Before I met you, the last time I was on these shores was in the midst of the Spanish influenza.” Chase paused then and looked away. “As you most probably know from your history lessons at school, it was a catastrophe that wiped out over twenty per cent of the population. I was in the middle of it all. The local people called me Doctor, but there was nothing I could do.” His mouth bunched together as he swallowed forcefully, his Adam’s apple pushing hard against his throat. When he turned back to Alana, his blue eyes were clouded with an emotion she defined as remorse, eyebrows drawn tightly together. “It’s difficult to imagine the things I have seen, Alana. The grief, the loss... When you’re built specifically to heal and can’t, it’s the most helpless feeling in the world.”

  Alana’s heart dropped at his lowered tone. As a nurse she understood that feeling. She felt it when she walked away from Mr. Filipo.

  “I thought there was no limit to your healing abilities,” she inquired quietly, looking at him.

  “There is if it’s the person’s time to die. There’s no questioning the Will of God and His Might. There are some crises that healers cannot step in and take over. It’s out of our hands so we accept it and move on because they have moved on.”

  Alana swallowed. “So the incident with Mr. Filipo...”

  Chase bowed his head. “I was drawn to that room by his aura because it wasn’t his time to pass away. If I wasn’t there then another healer would have stepped in. You were never supposed to witness what I did.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell me when I asked you?” she asked. “Before you left? You wouldn’t reveal anything when I pressed for answers before. Why not share this gift with the world?”

  Chase gave her a look. “Do you remember how you reacted when you saw what I did? Healers don’t carry out their work in front of witnesses to prevent the panic that would most likely ensue. We’re around, but we generally lay low. It’s also not something healers generally talk about to non-healers, especially when they’re not likely to see each other again.” He lingered in silence before continuing. “But when I returned and saw what had been done to your spirit, it angered me in a way that possessed my senses. I wanted to help you, heal you and take away your pain, return you to your spirited soul.”

  Alana closed her eyes as she perched silently on the smooth rock. So he had pitied her like she feared. She crumpled at the thought. He had also called her spirited. She certainly didn’t feel like the spirited soul he had described. Lately, her heart was a bitter, cold organ that served one purpose only: to pump blood and keep her body alive. Her soul, on the other hand, was another matter. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

  “But as much as I want to shelter you from your struggles, I cannot,” Chase continued. “This is your life, and whatever obstacles get thrown in your direction are for you to live through, learn, and grow from. So I’m going to do the next best thing and simply be your friend.”

  “My friend?”

  “Yes.”

  She laughed but her laugh lacked humor. “Why? I’m an emotional mess, Chase.”

  He shook his head. “You’re real and human with raw emotions.”

  Alana gawked at him. “Well of course you’d say that. You can see my aura!” she said a little too bitterly than she intended, but she was beginning to feel angry that he felt sorry for her.

  She didn’t want his compassion or his charity because his work naturally executed those qualities.

  Chase stared at her. “What I see is tremendous resilience. But you push everything deep down inside and then smile on the outside like there’s nothing eating away at you.”

  So he’d figured it out. She was a fool for thinking she could just hide it all away from him. He had discovered her secret and now there was nothing more she could do about it but face it.

  “How else am I supposed to cope?” she asked. “Isn’t that what being resilient is all about?”

  “By being honest about it. By not pretending it doesn’t exist. By enduring it all and then letting it go.”

  Her body tensed and she fisted her hands. “I played by the rules,” she gritted quietly through her teeth, her voice afflicted with a combination of anger and anguish. “I lived life by the rule book and look what happened?” She paused and swallowed when her eyes misted with tears, blinking furiously to hold them back. “I did everything a good Samoan girl is raised to do… I studied hard, I obeyed my parents. I work hard to make the lives of my patients easier…and look what happened?” Her voice broke and a tear fell. She hated that she felt vulnerable in front of Chase but she couldn’t help it anymore. “First my father was taken away from me, and then some bastard tried to take over my body. And those people who talked about me behind my back? They made me out to sound like the very person that I’m not.”

  One woman had called her a slut, a whore who asked for it. That one person’s words were all it took to cut her up inside, but she wasn’t going to tell Chase that. And then there was her family, above all, who she felt failed her when she needed them the most. Tears spilled out as her heart throbbed from the pain. Her bitter façade was crumbling down. Closing her eyes, she finally accepted the realization that she lied. She lied to herself about not caring. She cared about how people perceived her. She cared that she couldn’t do anything about her father’s death. She cared that everything that she had come to cherish was all for nothing.

  When she opened her eyes again Chase was moving to where she sat. Alana’s lips parted and her eyes widened when he crouched down on his haunches making himself eye level with her. With one hand, he lifted his fingers to gently brush away a tear that slipped over her cheekbone. As more tears continued to slip down her cheeks, she looked away, horrified by her disclosure and the feeling of vulnerability that resulted. Sniffing loudly, she brushed away at the moisture on her face as she sat rigidly. Keeping her eyes averted from Chase, she fisted her hands tightly in her lap. He surprised her by lifting her off her rocky seat and clutched her against the hard walls of his chest. She tensed.

  “It’s okay, Alana. You’re safe here,” he said soothingly.

  Alana was surrounded by Chase, and his voice relaxed her as she slipped easily into his embrace, wanting so much to be comforted. She fit perfectly against him as one arm wrapped around her lower back and the other cradled her head under his chin. Her hands were splayed on his chest, and she allowed herself to feel secure and safe in his arms and relish in the warmth he emanated. She inhaled his clean, crisp sce
nt and closed her eyes as tears silently slipped down her cheeks.

  The cave was silent for several minutes as he held her. The sound of trickling water allowed her to calm her breathing and think. She couldn’t bring herself to look up at him and see the emotions that were flickering across his face. When she relaxed, he released her but didn’t return to his side of the cave. He remained close, shifting so he was sitting beside her against the wall.

  Alana stared ahead wondering what was going on in his mind. There was no doubt that he thought of her as a weakling now. Oh God, she inwardly cringed. She rarely cried in front of strangers, and yet here she was wiping the snot away from her nose in the presence of someone who was far above her in every way.

  “Tell me about your dad,” he spoke quietly.

  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. What could she possibly say about the one person she revered all her life? It was too painful to think about her father, let alone talk about him, but Alana pushed past it. She wanted to share this part of her life with Chase and didn’t want any weakness on her part to prevent her from doing so.

  “He was the most humble man I ever knew,” she started. She thought about his kindness and consideration for others. “I remember one time when he visited his parents in their village and decided to cyclone proof their house—the house he was born in and grew up in. He got up on the roof and nailed it down with twisted shank nails, the kind that prevented the iron roofing from flying off. Then he went around and did the same thing for the neighbors. They were so happy and wanted to give him what little money they had to show their appreciation, but he told them to save it for their kids’ school fees.” Alana paused at the memory. There were many stories like this one that she was incredibly proud of.

  “He also worked us hard,” she said, gazing out into the small space in the cave and smiling. “When he taught me how to drive, he made me change and switch around all the tires on his 4WD truck first before I was ever allowed behind the wheel. Let me just say, those tires were heavy at sixteen. He said he didn’t want me calling him up when I had a flat tire somewhere on the side of the road, and that I was capable enough to handle it on my own.”

 

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