Now she felt nothing but anger, especially at Blake for even thinking he was blameless in any of this. “I still don’t understand why you’d do something like that,” she breathed, staring at him with eyes brimming with tears. “Why Blake? Was my rejection so hurtful that you just had to strike back? You saw my chance at happiness and you just had to destroy it. That’s why you sent that...that present of yours.” Accusation dripped from every word and she was glad to see him wince as if slapped.
“No, no,” Blake denied fiercely. “I was mad at you, yes. But I never meant for this to happen. How would I even predict that it would get to this? Did Terrence do this? I’m going to fucking kill him! How did Terrence find out about it?”
Kira glared at him. “He was right there with me when the gift was delivered,” she said. “He opened it and read your note before I could stop him. He wanted answers and I couldn’t give them to him. So he...snapped. You can imagine the rest.”
Blake’s head bowed for a moment and Kira glimpsed the shadow of pain that crossed his face. He sighed raggedly and then lifted his gaze to meet hers. There was fury beneath the bleakness in his eyes but she knew his anger was not against her. “Believe me; that I never guessed Terrence would be there when you got the gift. I guess it was just bad timing; a costly miscalculation I’ll regret for a long time to come.”
“How does that make this any better? You wanted to make your point by sending the underwear and you did,” Kira said bitterly.
He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them with warm pressure. “I can’t blame you if you think I’m the worst creature to walk the earth. I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused. And I’m going to remedy all that; if only you’d let me. Please let me try.”
Kira gave him a suspicious look. “How?”
“Marry me, Kira. Be my wife.”
Kira’s breath caught and she stared at him in disbelief. Then almost immediately she was shaking her head firmly, her heart growing cold. “No. Forget it. Go away. Leave me alone.”
“Kira, please think about it,” he said with tender persistence. “Just give me a chance to show you I really care about you. Always have.”
“You?” Kira sneered. “You care about me? That’s funny! I’d have thought your nice little stunt with the note and gift was enough proof to show how much you actually hate me. And the way you practically ignored me these last few months...”
“The only reason I sent that was to make sure you hadn’t forgotten about me – about us,” he said gruffly. “I mean, damn it Kira. You were all set to marry this guy. I was so desperate. I felt that if I made you remember what we shared it would make you see what a lie you’d be living if you settled with Terrence. You can deny it all you want but we had something Kira and it was worth fighting for. As for those times I ignored you...that was just protective measures. You’d hurt me with your rejection more than once and I’m not made of stone, my love. It really hurt when you turned away from me. The way you’re doing now. It’s like a dagger through my heart to see the look in your eyes. To see how much you hate me right now.”
He drew her palm up and kissed the base, close to her wrist. Kira shivered as she watched the emotions playing across his handsome face. “I was ready to do anything to make you see things my way,” he added quietly. “I never in a million years thought something like this would happen.”
Kira let out a shaky sigh. “That was still no cause for what you did,” she said firmly, ignoring the tingle of awareness creeping up her arm at the touch of his warm, sensual lips. A thrilling sensation like she hadn’t felt in ages overshadowed even the dull ache that still lingered on her frame and she bit on her lip, tugging her hand from his intimate touch.
“There’s no excuse, Blake. You knew how much I’d struggled to put that night behind me. You’ll never understand what it meant for me to sink to such behavior. It scared me to think what I could be capable of and it made me realize I didn’t know myself as well as I thought I did.”
She saw Blake was about to interrupt, but she continued, “Anyway you shouldn’t have bothered. Because if your motive was to make me break up with Terrence, I’d already done that. In fact, I’d already told him I wasn’t going through with the wedding when your gift arrived. I guess all of that put together made him go off the deep end.”
“Don’t justify what he did, Kira,” Blake snarled. “Knowing that he dared lay even a finger on you...”
“I’ll be fine,” Kira murmured, her cheeks flushing at his protective tone. She looked down in surprise to see their fingers were entwined. Why did she feel suddenly so shy...and why couldn’t she meet his intensely blazing grey eyes?
“Kira,” he prompted softly. “Why did you break up with Terrence?”
Kira groaned inwardly. Trust Blake to pick up on that detail. And then she wondered what his reaction would be if she told him about the baby? Would his so-called marriage proposal still stand or would he feel more trapped? Because she knew he’d asked her to marry him only out of guilt. Why else if it wasn’t his way of trying to make up for what he’d done? Kira wasn’t stupid. She didn’t need him marrying her out of pity.
But he was waiting for her reply so she gave him one. “Terrence and I had too many secrets between us. On my part at least. I couldn’t honestly go on with it knowing what I’d done, cheating on him while we were together. He was so sure I was saving myself up for him and when he found out that I’d...” She shook her head with a grimace at the memory. “I couldn’t keep living a lie.”
“And it was a lie because...?”
Kira’s teeth sank deeper into her bottom lip at Blake’s persistence. What did he want her to do? Confess that she was in love with him and that’s why she couldn’t go through with marrying Terrence? How could she open herself up like that when her insecurities still flashed powerfully within her?
“Please...I don’t think I need this right now,” she gasped, her hand covering her face. It was just too much at once and she felt crowded in by everything; Terrence’s shocking eruption, her fear of losing her baby and then Blake making an appearance with reconciliation on his mind.
To his credit, he backed down at once. “I understand. You’ve only just started to get better and need more rest. I’ll let you be for now, Kira. But think about what I said.” He took her hand and kissed it again. “If you think it’s for the best then let’s forget the past. Let’s erase every bad thing that’s happened between us. I simply want you in my life and I’m hoping that somehow, you’ll start to trust what you feel. I want us to be together more than anything.”
I don’t know what I feel, thought a troubled Kira. She told herself she had every reason to hate and distrust Blake. He was a smooth talker who could get a nun to strip off her panties for him. He could have any woman he wanted yet here he was, pleading for her hand. Why was it so hard for her to believe a man like him would want someone like her? Why did she keep fighting the urge to give him a chance? In her heart she longed to give in to the excitement of being with a gorgeous man who desired her with such intensity, and whom she desired in equal proportion. She had two choices: she could keep lying to herself or she could give them a chance. But not solely for her own sake this time. She had someone more important to think about now. She needed to do what was best for the baby, no matter what.
“I meant it about my proposal,” Blake was saying after a pause. Kira’s heart began to thud like a sledge hammer. “You don’t need to give me an answer now. We’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other and maybe that would help you decide that being my wife might not be so bad.”
He suddenly flashed that white, gorgeous grin that lit up his beautiful grey eyes and reminded Kira of her first ever fantasy of Blake. And then that one time he’d claimed her and she’d felt the heat of his passion within her deepest core. Could it be possible that something with permanence could rise out of one reckless act of passion?
She felt the pangs of doubt too strongly to make up her
mind now. She told herself she was relieved when Blake rose to leave. Stamping down the treacherous twinge of longing for him to stay, she watched him reach the door. And then before she could stop herself she blurted out the words that had been eating at her all along.
“Blake.” He turned around expectantly and she chewed hard on her lip. “I still don’t know the real reason why you’d want to marry me. I don’t understand.”
“I really thought I’d mentioned it,” he said teasingly, and then his grey eyes sobered when he added in a raw voice, “Because I love you, Kira. And because I realize that life wouldn’t be the same without you in it.”
And he was gone before Kira could reply.
Chapter Thirteen
It was over a week later before Kira was finally out of hospital. She’d lost quite a bit of weight but other than that she felt fine and no longer winced when she made any sudden moves.
Blake visited her every day and always with flowers, candy and gourmet snacks. She almost managed to convince herself that seeing him each day was something she didn’t look forward to. Even if she did, she made sure not to show it. He’d never be able to tell how his smiles brightened the room and how his tender looks warmed her to her bones. Even their conversations were a high point of her day even though she let him do most of the talking. He wouldn’t know how much she loved listening to his stirringly deep and resonating voice especially when he brought a book along to read to her.
If he was trying to wear down her defenses, it was working, though he wouldn’t be able to tell from her attitude. Kira had no intention of letting her guard down yet, even though having the attention of a warm, gentle and giving man like Blake would be enough to thaw even the most frozen of hearts. He did everything he possibly could to make her see he had more sides to him.
He talked about his mother who’d passed on and the life they’d had back in Britain. He talked about his aspirations and the dreams he had about his family and future. When he asked Kira about her own family, Kira was glad to tell him she had none and watched his expression.
“What, no one?” Blake asked with a smile like he thought she was kidding.
“My mother was hooked on prescription drugs,” Kira suddenly blurted, staring at him. “She died when I was nine. There was only me and my dad and he was a drunk. He didn’t even bother making sure I went to school. Luckily, the neighbors took it upon themselves to watch out for me. I never really knew any of my extended family. I just figured we didn’t have any. When I grew older, I discovered that my mother was turned away by her folks when she chose to marry my dad, and his family didn’t approve of the marriage either. So yeah, I pretty much grew up not knowing any of my aunts, uncles or cousins. You could say I was practically raised by parents of my friends or the people at church who took interest in my welfare.”
When Kira finished, she smiled thinly. “Maybe you’d like to take back your marriage proposal now. I came from a dirt poor family with a father with no ambition. He didn’t care if I ended up on the street, selling myself or drugs.”
Blake didn’t look away, his expression calm as he asked gently, “Where’s your father now?”
Kira swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. Her eyes stung and she looked away. “I don’t know. Last time I heard from him was two years ago. He came by my apartment demanding money. I gave him some and he was gone after that. I never saw him again and for all I know, he’s dead.”
Kira heard Blake sigh and she closed her eyes, waiting for the words of rejection.
“When will you finally understand that none of that matters to me?” Blake asked gently, causing Kira to catch her breath. She looked at him and saw his intense look of sincerity. “I don’t care about background or your family history. That doesn’t define who you are. Just look at you. There’s a quality about you that steals my breath every time you walk into the room. You’re not just beautiful, you’re determined and smart. I’ve seen you handle situations at work that would cause other women to tear out their hair in panic. You have this infinite grace about you and you never lose your cool.”
“I lost it with you,” she murmured, looking at him with her chin tilted high. “That night at the party when I let a man I barely knew rip my pants off and fuck me on the couch in his father’s library. Would you consider that to be an act of a woman with high quality?”
His smile tilted his lips into a curve and Kira couldn’t help thinking about how sinfully sweet those lips had tasted.
He looked at her then and a glint of darkness turned his grey eyes to a feral black. “You’re the one woman I’ve met that makes me want to kiss her, protect her forever and fuck her crazy all at the same time,” he said huskily, eyes scanning her frame.
To Kira, she’d hardly say she looked in any way sultry in the light gown she wore in the hospital. But the way Blake looked at her, it felt like she had on nothing at all, just bare skin that singed from his mere glance.
“I want every part of the woman you are; the tough as nails Kira, the sweet Kira, the Kira that blows my mind. It makes me so glad that it was only with me that you were able to unleash that side of you that’s hot, sexy and hungry for my touch,” Blake continued, his eyes lowering to where he trailed the back of his knuckles up her bare forearm. Kira felt a hint of enticement in that light touch and she found the distinctions of dark and light very enthralling as his fingers skimmed her flesh. Just like that, she immediately had flashbacks of their first time and how he’d left her gasping for breath with each thrust as she’d taken him deeper and deeper.
Suddenly the room felt too warm and Kira drew her arm away, her neck flushing. He had a way of getting under her skin and the things he said made her imagination run wild. How long she could keep him at arm’s length she couldn’t say, not at the rate he was melting down her defenses. She’d always been afraid this would happen and now there seemed to be no escape. Would she be foolish enough to fall?
***
The day she was discharged, Kira dressed up in her own clothes which Blake had been kind enough to pack for her. To her surprise he was nowhere to be seen when it was time for her to leave. He’d come by every day for two weeks and now he was a no-show?
Kira pushed that thought aside as she was shown into Dr. Samuel’s office minutes later. She liked the easy-going doctor because he didn’t ask questions, though she guessed there was probably a lot he already knew.
“I’m glad you’re looking so well,” he said with a warm smile.
“I feel great, too,” she said, her smile just as warm. “You’ve all been so good to me. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. It’s our job after all. And Mr. Blake Carter has been giving his full support which we’re grateful for as well.”
Kira could just imagine what support and felt her jaw clench. However her smile didn’t slip as she nodded and said, “That’s very nice of him.”
“Indeed,” Mr. Samuel nodded. “And he assured me he’ll see to it that you’ll be extra careful this time. It’s not just you to take care of now you know.”
“Yes,” Kira breathed, though her eyes darted as his words sank in. “You didn’t...tell Blake about the baby, did you?”
Dr. Samuel assured her that he did not. “But whoever got you in this condition; whoever he is has a part to play too. No matter what you feel,” he said kindly and Kira wondered once more just how much he knew. Had he been talking to Blake?
And then she sighed. “Maybe you’re right, doctor. A child is a responsibility one shouldn’t tackle alone if there’s a choice. I guess I’ll have to consider my options.”
“Good idea,” he said, his smile spreading as he rose.
Kira stood up and accepted his outstretched hand. “Thank you, Dr. Samuel. I know you mean well,” she said wryly, not in the least offended by his probing. It felt nice to know someone cared enough to give a friendly word.
When she finally made her way to the exit, her eyes widened in surprise to see Chase, her boss’s driver wa
iting for her. She was so taken aback she didn’t argue when he took the small bag she carried.
“Hello, Kira. It’s great to see you’re much better,” he said with a nod and a smile. “Mr. Carter told me to pick you up. He wants you to have lunch with him at his home if you’re feeling up to it.”
“Oh. Um...okay,” Kira said slowly. She followed Chase out to where the car was parked. Chase held open the door and after a slight pause, Kira went in.
Soon they were well on their way and Kira forced herself to relax against the luxurious seat as the delicious air-conditioning enveloped her. When she let herself think of why Mr. Carter would want to see her, her composure was shaken. It would be the first time she would meet with him since she was in hospital and she couldn’t help but wonder at his thoughts. Could he be angry with her? Had she disappointed him somehow with what had happened? He’d never really liked Terrence and this incident would probably show her up for the bad judge of character she was.
But then Kira thought of Blake telling her not to blame herself for what happened. How no matter the provocation, Terrence had no cause putting his hands on her.
Kira had chosen not to press any charges and Blake had seemed ready to hit the roof when he found out. But the last thing Kira needed was a scandal or anyone finding out about how stupid she’d been – especially when she thought of the parties involved. If people found out she’d slept with and got impregnated by Blake Carter, the only son of Bretton Carter...well, the story would be fodder for the gossip freaks which Kira didn’t want.
What she wanted was to move on and that meant putting a lot of what had happened in the past few months far behind her. Now she couldn’t wait for the rest of her life. Whether she was going to face it alone remained a mystery even to her right then.
Curves for Him - 10 Delicious Tales Page 30