“What the hell would you know? Done her best? Doing her best would have been her being there when our mother needed her. Doing her best would have meant Ellie giving up her control freak ways and actually letting our mother go into a hospice instead of keeping her at home.”
“Ellie loves her, she wanted to do what was best for her and you know it... I know you’re angry but being pissed at your sister for something that wasn’t her fault isn’t the way to handle this.”
Ricky didn’t answer him and Stuart kept the car moving forward. He knew what was coming and all he could hope was that once he got Ricky to the hospital that he didn’t blow up as badly as Stuart had a feeling he would. Grief had a habit of doing terrible things to people, and tearing people apart was one excellent way of it presenting itself.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Where is she? Rosalind Blair, I want to see her!”
Ellie sat up in the chair next to her mother’s bed.
Ricky’s voice was unmistakable. The anger in his voice was even more unmistakable and Ellie’s heart constricted in her chest as she stood and moved out into the hall.
“You!”
His face was red and the bruises he had seemed to blend into the background.
“You weren’t even there for her! You were out on a fucking date!”
Ricky’s anger washed over Ellie, making the blood in her veins run cold.
Date? What the hell did he mean by date?
“I was at work, I wasn’t out a date, Ricky... I was trying to earn enough money to keep paying for her care.”
“Don’t pretend, Eleanor. I know what time the diner closes at. I know it was a date you were out on, there’s no point in lying.”
“Ricky, I’m not lying. Why would you even think that?”
“I don’t know how you can live with yourself. First our father and now Mom. Am I next on the list? When I’m dead you won’t have anyone left, Ellie, there’ll be no one else to worry about. You’ll be free.”
He shook his head and attempted to push past her. Ellie reached out to him. His words had cut into her like knives, and she honestly felt sick to her stomach. To think that he could believe something so terrible of her. That he could believe that she would rather be out enjoying herself while their mother died... That he blamed her for everything that had happened.
Tears filled Ellie’s eyes as she tried to stop him from simply brushing her off.
“Ricky, if I had known I wouldn’t have gone to work tonight... I’d have stayed with her.”
“Fat lot of good that would have done. If you had just let her go into care, if you’d just let the professionals care for her the way they were supposed to this wouldn’t be happening right now, Ellie. I’ll never forgive you for this.”
He jerked free of her grip and pushed into the room.
Ellie felt the air whoosh from her lungs and her knees buckled beneath her as she stood in the hall.
Ricky was wrong but it still didn’t stop his words from hurting her. It didn’t matter how wrong Ellie knew he was, it wouldn’t change the fact that he blamed her for the death of their parents.
Ellie’s back slammed into the wall and she slid to the floor.
Stuart crouched down beside her, his hands gathering her in against his chest, holding her, comforting her.
There was a moment when Ellie contemplated pushing him away. It wasn’t as though she deserved to have his comfort. She didn’t deserve to have anyone’s comfort. And then the feeling of guilt and responsibility passed and Ellie clung to him, great racking sobs escaping her as she held onto him.
Ellie cried until it didn’t seem possible that there could be any more tears left within her and yet still she could feel them coursing down her face. She couldn’t tell anymore what wounded her the most: Ricky’s words, or the feeling that she had let their mother down.
And through it all, Stuart sat with her, his arms around her, his grip strong and warm. It was in that moment of complete and utter despair that Ellie realised despite the fact that she barely seemed to know him, there was no one else she would rather have with her in that hospital hallway.
“Miss Blair?”
Ellie instantly recognised the voice of the doctor from earlier and she turned her face up to look at him.
He didn’t seem to be fazed by the tears drying on her cheeks.
“I know this is difficult but if you’ve said your goodbyes then we need to start moving forward.”
It was difficult, one of the most difficult things Ellie had ever had to deal with in her life and yet she knew there was no choice.
Her mother was gone and it wasn’t right to keep holding her physical body in limbo.
She nodded and scrubbed her hands across her cheeks. She coughed, an attempt to clear the tears that still sat at the back of her throat.
“Of course. Whatever you need me to sign I’ll do it.”
He nodded and gave her a thin, sympathetic smile.
“I know it probably doesn’t feel like it but you’re doing the right thing.”
Ellie shook her head as she pushed up from her place on the floor.
“You’re right, it doesn’t feel like the right thing. None of it feels right. She shouldn’t even be in that bed in the first place.”
The doctor didn’t answer, keeping his plastic sympathetic smile in place and Ellie couldn’t help but feel resentment towards him.
“I guess life’s not fair.”
She sighed and took the offered clipboard.
“I’ve marked the places where I need your signature.”
Ellie didn’t answer him, her eyes scanning down over the document in her hand. With shaking hands she pulled the pen from the clip at the top of the paper and scrawled her signature through the boxes he had marked.
There was a moment of hesitation on Ellie’s behalf as she stared down at the form. Her mind suddenly throwing up a million questions, a million possible scenarios.
“How sure are you that she’s really gone?”
Ellie lifted her gaze and stared into his face.
“We’re sure, Miss Blair, your mother is really gone.”
Ellie nodded and gave him a watery smile as she handed the signed papers back over.
“I suppose you hear that question a lot.”
“I wish there was a different answer I could give you. If you’d like to step into the room, we’ll set everything up.”
He gestured for her to move into the room and Ellie found herself hesitating.
Ricky sat by the bed, his face buried against the covers.
Ellie stepped into the room, her shoulders tensing as Ricky lifted his face to stare at her.
“Can’t I even have time alone with her? You want to take that away from me too?”
“Ricky, it’s time... They’re going to switch everything off now.”
“They can’t, it’s not time. She needs more time, Ellie, she needs a chance. She could wake up.”
His voice was filled with hope and Ellie wanted to reach out to him, to take him in her arms and hug him. But she knew if she tried he wouldn’t let her.
“She’s not going to wake up, she’s already gone. It’s just the machines keeping her breathing.”
“Are you a doctor now? Should I be worried, Ellie, if anything ever happened to me would you be this quick to write me off?”
“Ricky, that’s not fair. The doctors said she’s brain dead, there’s nothing of the woman we knew and loved left in there. You have to let her go—it’s the right thing to do...”
The doctor stepped into the room followed by a nurse and they moved around the bed.
“You can’t do this, I won’t let you,” Ricky declared, barring the nurse from getting up to the top of the bed.
“Ricky, you have to let them do their job.”
“They can’t just kill someone...”
Stuart moved up beside Ricky, taking his arm and moving him away from the bed. A scuffle erupted and Ellie watched a
s Stuart struggled to subdue her brother.
“I’m afraid, Mr Blair, we have the right. Miss Blair signed the documents giving us the right. If you don’t settle down, I’ll have to have you removed.”
Ricky instantly stopped struggling, his face turning pale white beneath the healing bruises on his face.
“You signed her life away?”
His voice was filled with shock and Ellie’s heart broke in her chest. She went to him, her hand catching his as she tried to explain why.
“It’s not like that, Ricky. I’m the named executor and the insurance wouldn’t cover this... We don’t have the money to keep her here like this and it wouldn’t be right... Not when she’s really gone.”
Ricky shrugged out of Stuart’s grip, his eyes narrowing as he stared down at Ellie.
“I thought you were heartless before but this... this is a new low even for you, Eleanor Blair. I will never forgive you for killing our parents, never!”
He stormed out of the room and Ellie reeled backwards. It felt as though his words had punched a hole through her and in a way he may as well have.
“Miss Blair?” The doctor spoke, drawing Ellie from the thoughts that swirled in her mind.
“Yes?”
“We’re ready.”
Ellie watched as he checked the machines and then one by one they flipped the switches. Part of her wanted to scream at him to stop, to give her more time but she remained silent.
The mechanical lungs rattled upwards once more inside the machine, the air whooshing out as they slowly lowered and came to a complete stop.
Silence reigned in the room and Ellie stared at the woman she called Mother lying in the bed.
The silence didn’t feel right. Ellie hadn’t known what to expect but the dead calm in the room wasn’t it.
She moved to the edge of the bed and stared down at her mother.
Suddenly she moved, the air the machine had pumped in suddenly sighing from her mouth. Her chest sank and the stillness returned.
“I thought you said she was gone?” Ellie said, her hand automatically closing around her mother’s.
“She is, that was simply a muscle reflex, the body’s way of coming to a complete stop.”
Ellie shook her head.
“You’re wrong, you have to be wrong.”
She dropped down into the chair next to the bed, clutching her mother’s hand in her own as she stared into her lifeless face.
There was something so final and terrible about it all.
Throughout her mother’s sickness Ellie had always held the hope that she would somehow recover. She’d hoped that one day she would walk into the room and her mother would smile at her but it had never happened and now it never would.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Watching the fallout that occurred between Ellie and Ricky made Stuart feel utterly helpless. He had no idea what he was supposed to do to help either of them.
However, the fact that Ricky had stormed off hadn’t been entirely wasted on him. Ricky wasn’t safe as long as Grey wanted him.
Stuart stood and watched as Ellie held her mother’s hand. She looked utterly lost and Stuart wished there was something he could do... In that moment he would have given anything to take away her pain.
Time passed slowly and Stuart stayed with Ellie until the nurses reappeared in the doorway.
“We need to prepare the body,” the nurse whispered to Stuart and he nodded before slowly pushing away from the wall.
Ellie sat staring off into space, her fingers still wrapped through her mother’s as Stuart crouched down next to her.
“Ellie, we need to go. I need to get you home.”
She turned her gaze to his, her blue eyes filled with unshed tears.
“Not yet. I can’t leave her yet.”
Stuart shook his head and took Ellie’s free hand in his own.
“You’ve done all you can for her. Now it’s time to let the nurses look after her.”
Stuart nodded towards the doorway where the nurse stood and Ellie glanced over her shoulder.
“But if I leave her then she’ll be alone... I don’t want her to be alone, Stuart. I failed her enough already.”
Ellie’s hushed tone lifted in panic and Stuart gathered her up into his arms, pulling her tightly against his chest.
“She won’t be alone, Ellie. I promise you that. They’ll look after her.”
Ellie stared up into his face and Stuart felt his heart break. To see such pain and anguish in her eyes, it was more than he could bear.
“You promise?”
Her voice was so small as she begged the childish promise from him, but it was one he would gladly give her.
“I promise, Ellie.”
She nodded and pulled out of his grip. Leaning down over the bed, he watched as she pressed her lips to Rosalind’s forehead. A goodbye kiss.
Ellie turned back to him and Stuart had just enough time to catch her as she collapsed towards the floor.
Panic washed over him as he scooped her up into his arms and carried her from the room. He paused in the hall, checking her pulse as she moaned in his arms.
“Ellie, can you hear me?”
She nodded before opening her eyes slowly.
“I’m sorry, Stuart.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“For dragging you into this mess.”
Stuart smiled and gathered her in against him.
“Let’s get you home.”
He carried her down the hall and out to the car. Ricky was nowhere to be seen and although Stuart was worried for his safety he was glad they didn’t run into him again. Ellie wasn’t fit for another slanging match and Ricky was fuelled by pure anger.
Stuart could only hope he didn’t do something stupid before he had the chance to get to him, and could talk some sense into him.
Selena had already left the hospital by the time Stuart got Ellie out to the car. The journey back to Ellie’s house was made in silence and as Stuart killed the engine outside he stared over at her. She hadn’t moved for the entire journey, he’d barely even known she was there.
Stepping out of the car, Stuart stared up at the dark house. He couldn’t imagine what it felt like to come home after a situation like the one Ellie had found herself in. The death of his parents hadn’t been as filled with grief and regret.
Of course he’d loved his parents in his own way but they’d never shared a real connection. His father’s preoccupation with money had ensured that Stuart went as far in the opposite direction as he could.
This was coupled with the fact that his parents had always seemed to view him with an air of disappointment. Stuart hadn’t been given leave from the army to attend their joint funeral and in a way he hadn’t minded.
He didn’t believe in grieving and dragging up painful memories for two people who didn’t really care if he left and never came back.
Stuart moved around the car and held the door open as Ellie pushed it wide and stepped out. He could see the tiny streaks of tears that covered her cheeks even in the half-light of the night.
He followed her as she walked up to the front door and slid the key into the lock.
Stuart watched as she hesitated on the threshold, her entire body trembling as she stared into the darkness that shrouded the house.
When she finally did step inside Stuart released the breath he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding.
Closing the door, Stuart put his arm across Ellie’s shoulders as she paused in the hall. She jumped and Stuart could suddenly feel her heartbeat hammering against her chest as she turned and pressed her body against his.
“You should get some rest,” he whispered against her hair but Ellie shook her head.
“I don’t think I can. There’s so much I have to do, so much to plan.”
Stuart gripped her shoulders and pushed her away until he was staring down into her face.
“Ellie, that can wait for the morning. You need to rest.�
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“I’m afraid... I don’t want to be here alone...”
Stuart was suddenly aware of the fact that her hands were wrapped up in the front of his white shirt.
“You’re not alone, Ellie. I’m here with you.”
She nodded and smiled before moving to the stairs. Stuart followed her up to what he assumed was her bedroom. The room seemed a little old fashioned, as though she hadn’t had the time to decorate it for a very long time.
Ellie climbed into the bed and Stuart sat in the wicker chair in the corner of the room. It was going to be one hell of a crap night’s sleep but if it helped Ellie rest a little easier, he would do it.
“What are you doing?” she said, sitting up and staring over at him.
“Getting comfortable, you should be doing the same.”
Ellie shot him an odd look and then climbed out of the bed and padded across the room. She paused in front of him and Stuart swallowed hard as she stared down at him with her wide blue eyes—blue eyes that he could drown in if he weren’t careful.
“I know this is probably something you don’t want to do, but...” She hesitated and closed her eyes. “Will you hold me?”
“What?”
“Please, Stuart. I know I’m not what you want but please, for tonight, I just need some human contact, someone to hold me...”
He stood and placed his hand on her cheek.
“What do you mean, not what I want?”
Ellie’s eyes opened, the blue glistening with tears that she struggled to hold in check.
“I’m not stupid, I know I’m not the type of woman you’d ever want to get into bed with... But for tonight...”
Without thinking, Stuart bent his head and crushed his lips against hers.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ellie gasped as Stuart’s lips pressed against hers. He was warm and firm, his hands sliding around her, one hand in her hair, drawing her in against him, deepening their embrace.
She knew she shouldn’t kiss him back. It seemed wrong somehow since her mother had just died. And yet in that moment it felt like exactly the right thing to do. She needed his touch, his embrace. It was the only thing anchoring her in the moment, the only thing stopping her from disappearing into her own grief.
Curves for Him - 10 Delicious Tales Page 94