I grumble. There's no getting out of it once she's gone all protective mama-hen on me. “Thanks a lot, Hawk,” I say, tossing my napkin down.
“Anytime, bro.” He gives me his sweet and innocent smile. I know he's only trying to help, but I hate being treated like a baby.
As I climb the stairs, I hear Hawk offering to help my mom clean up the dishes.
A dark thought worms its way into my head. When I'm dead, Hawk will be there, waiting to take over my role as Mom's son.
In the end, Hawk will get everything he wants.
Jada
I eat the roast in silence as Kari and Dad talk about the plumbing work she needs done in her bathroom. Riveting conversation.
“Shouldn't take more than a couple of days,” Dad says, forking carrot into his mouth.
Kari seems to follow along in the conversation but keeps looking at me funny.
“I'm sorry I keep staring, Jada,” Kari says. “It's just—you remind me so much of a friend of mine and I can't figure out why. You don't look anything like her except that she was about your age when she died.”
I swallow down my piece of beef. “Oh, wow. Um, I'm sorry.” It comes out more as a question than a genuine concern for her friend. I'm an ass. “What was her name?” I say, trying to cover my sensitivity.
“Naya. Almost the same as yours.”
Naya. There's that name again. Sweet beads against my forehead.
“Um, can I use your bathroom?” I hear myself ask, needing to get some air.
Kari gives me a funny look before she points me to the room just past the living room. I scoot out from the table and dash towards the restroom only to come face to face with that damn picture again.
Those eyes... why are they so familiar? Without meaning to my fingers reach up and remove the photo from the wall. They trace along the edge of the scarred-faced boy's face with such longing and passion that they actually start to shake.
“Who are you?” I whisper to the photo.
“Those were my friends, Naya and Etash.” Kari's voice whispers.
I nearly jump out of my skin.
“Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. I just forgot to tell you to wiggle the handle on the flush when you're done.”
The flush. Right. I was supposed to be peeing. My fingers fumble to put the picture back but they've grown all sweaty now and before I can stop it, the frame slips out of my fingers and shatters to bits at my feet. I gasp as though the glass pierced me instead of her carpet.
“I'm so sorry,” I say, quickly bending down to clean up the shards. As I do, however, my bag slips off the couch dumping the contents of it onto the floor amongst the glass. Dad's tab bottle lands right at her feet. Shit!
As fast as I can, I reach out to grab it, but Kari scoops the bottle up first. Her eyes grow dark as she reads the label.
“Why do you have these?” She asks in a hiss so low my dad won't hear.
Snatching them out of her hand, I stand up. “That's none of your business.”
She stands in front of me, no doubt judging me. Let her. This has nothing to do with her.
“Hey, Ted, can you come in here a minute?” Kari calls to my dad, keeping her eyes planted on me.
My eyes grow wide. She wouldn't. Would she?
Dad walks into the living room still chewing his food. Kari doesn't bat an eye when he stands beside her. If she's waiting for me to confess, she's wasting her time. I clench my jaw to prove my point.
“What's going on?” Dad asks, when no one speaks. He glares at me.
Kari clears her throat. “We had a bit of an accident. Would you mind grabbing the broom from closet in the kitchen?”
“What did you do?” Dad growls, spinning to face me.
“It was my fault,” Kari laughs. “I'm not as graceful as I used to be.”
Dad grunts his disbelief but goes to get the broom anyway. I want to thank her for covering for me but I can't look her in the eye. I'm suddenly too ashamed.
After the glass is cleaned up, Dad uses the lull in conversation to say we should get going.
Kari insists on making us take some of the leftovers home, for which, I am grateful for. He wouldn't eat it, but I would. It was better than the stale cheese we had waiting at home.
Once we get back into the safety of our place Dad heads straight to his room and closes the door. Paying his penance for talking to another woman, I suppose.
I sigh.
He'll be in there the rest of the night grieving. Which I can't take. So, I do what I do best. I leave.
In every town we've lived in, the first thing I did was find a place to go when Dad was in one of his moods. So far I have yet to find a place I could use as my escape from him when he 'naps.' I'm starting to loose hope that I'll find one. Further proof that we're not meant to be here.
Outside on the road, I kick at the rocks filling the potholes. Each kick symbolically pushing back some crumb of injustice life has dealt me.
Poor, poor, pitiful me.
God, I am pathetic. I want to punch myself I'm so obnoxious.
As I walk beside the woods, I slow my pace. The tall oaks here remind me of Tobias. Of the day, I saved him in the woods. Tobias... and his dark eyes, just like the boy in the photo.
Tears start welling for no good reason. Embarrassed by the tears, I duck off into the woods in case one slips out. Crying is what he does; he's the weak one, not me.
Shivering a bit against the night, I glance up through the trees and find the moon. It looks almost full; so large and bright that it illuminates the forest floor with just enough light to see the roots that would otherwise land me on my ass. Taking in my surroundings, I admire the massive trees that loom large all around me. They feel like arms holding me. Protecting me from the big, bad world. It feels like... home. I found my hideaway.
To my right there is a large moss-covered boulder that's begging to be leaned against. More than ready to comply, I nestle myself against its cold embrace.
Slipping out Dad's tab bottle, I read the label. One of these will take the edge off. Two will make me giddy. Time to find out what three will do. Shaking out the tabs, I press them firmly against my tongue and wait for them to work their magic.
Chapter 7
Tobias
Over the hum of my nebulizer I hear Hawk downstairs chatting it up with Mom. Listening to them through the grate in my floor infuriates me. He's waited until I left to talk about Jada. He must not think I can handle hearing about her. It ticks me off that he's right.
I'd be able to make out what they were saying a lot better if I'd just turn off the stupid machine, but then Mom would here its silence and come flying up the stairs to yell at me. Instead, I have to resort to crawling under my bed and pressing my ear to the grate.
“I found her, Ms. Garret.” Hawk is saying.
“Found who, honey?” Mom asks, over the sound of dishes being cleared.
“The woman I'm going to marry.”
My jaw clenches hearing the reverence in his voice.
“My, my, my,” Mom purrs. “What's her name?”
“Jada.” I can practically hear the goofy grin in his voice before a dish breaks.
“Whoa, Ms. G, you okay?”
My pulse quickens thinking that Ma has been hurt. Instantly I’m up and trying to push myself out from under the bed when I hear Mom speak again.
“Her name is Jada?”
“Yeah, Jada Jeanne Williams,” he sighs. “Why?”
The sound of a chair being dragged across the floor echoes inside the grate, followed by the biggest exhalation I've ever heard from my mother.
“Has Tobias met her?” she asks, or at least, I think that's what she said. It's practically whispered.
“Um, yeah. Of course, he made a rotten impression on her. He had his asthma attack shortly after he met her,” Hawk explains. “Why you so pale, Ms. G? You need some water or something?”
“Just a long day, honey. I'll be fine. Tell me more about this g
irl.”
Without skipping a beat, he begins talking about Jada. But he's not describing her right, which is nothing short of maddening. For starters, her hair isn't blonde. It's honey, like the color of wheat fields when the sun is high in the sky. And it isn't wavy at all. Her hair is like silk, cascading down the nape of her neck to the small dip in her back. Her eyes are more than brown. They are the color of coffee, kissed with cream. He can't even get her complexion right. Tan skin? Has he even been looking at the same girl? Jada's skin is ivory, like the clouds in the sky. But even with all of her natural beauty, I know that she doesn't see herself that way. The subtle way she always rolls her shoulders forward. It's like she’s trying to hide herself away inside those dark clothes. She doesn't grasp how stunning she really is.
“Hawk,” my mom sounds timid.
“Yeah, Ms. G?”
“Is everything okay at home? I don't mean to pry, but I can't help but hear you and your folks yelling at each other a lot, and I'm worried about you, honey. You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?”
I hold my breath so I don't miss his answer.
“I don't really know,” he says quietly. “Lately, I just feel different. Like I'm changing somehow.”
“Changing? How so?”
He doesn't answer right away. I can almost see his brow crinkle, like he does when he is thinking.
“It's gonna sound weird but now that I've found Jada, I feel like I'm going to lose her somehow. I'm getting really protective of her. I get angry if anyone even looks at her. It's freaking me out.”
Mom gives a low whistle.
“Sounds like you've been bitten by the love bug.”
“More like swallowed whole,” he says.
More dishes clank around until they eventually say their goodbyes. I scoot out from under the bed and peek out from behind the curtains to watch him leave. I'm careful not to be seen. He waves a final goodbye to Mom then walks up to his porch. He stops just short of going inside though. He looks over his shoulder, presumably to make sure Ma's gone inside, then skips back down the steps and heads into the woods. I shake my head. So much for football practice. I wonder how he'll talk the coach out of calling his folks for missing it, but then Hawk can sweet talk a skunk out of spraying. Everyone adores Hawk. Still, it was pretty stupid of him to risk hunting when my mom was home. I don't care if she fell under his spell or not. If she caught him hunting, Mom would rat his ass out faster than Hawk could draw back his string. And that's pretty damn fast.
Succumbing to the need for my medicine, I slip the mask back on. Its healing mist makes my head heavy. Without meaning to, I let exhaustion take over.
When I wake, the sky is dark. Sweat drenches the back of my neck. My gut wrenches. Something is wrong, and it's not with me.
I rip off my mask and race down the hall to check to on Mom. Opening her door, I expect to find her missing or hurt, but she's fast asleep in her bed. A soft snore confirms she's breathing. Seeing her safe and sound should have put me at ease, but I’m still anxious about something. What though?
After I check the house to make sure nothing is on fire or anything, I head back in my room, but I still can't sleep. I pace like a caged animal trying to figure out what is wrong.
That’s when the hair on my arm stands up. That's only happened once before: when Jada was near.
Instantly, I fling my window open and half expect her to be standing outside but of course there is only the darkness. My heart sinks. As I start to pull my head back in though, I catch a whiff of lilac.
She is outside.
And close enough for the wind to carry her scent with it.
Without thinking, I push my window open all the way and jump out the second story window, landing softly in the flowerbed below. In the seventeen years I've lived here, I've never attempted such a stupid move, so the fact that I didn't break anything is beyond miraculous.
After standing frozen for a moment, I realize Mom didn't hear me jump out, so I begin tip-toeing down the driveway. Once I pass our fence, I start running. Not caring in the least that I'm barefoot, or that I am not supposed to run – ever.
Jada
As I wait for the pills to work and my world to disappear I lean back against the rock again trying to sap away some of its coolness. Damn it's hot tonight! I wish I could just strip down and let the night air cool me down.
Wait. Why can't I? There's no one here.
Standing I look into the dark woods, just to make sure. The sweater comes off first, exposing my most recent gash to the darkness. It throbs a bit with the fresh air brushing against it, but it's nothing I can't handle.
A small breeze comes through the trees, making my skin goose-bump. The night air feels so good that I peel off my tank top too. Standing in the dark in just my bra and shorts is so liberating.
Wanting to feel nothing but the night sky on my skin, I kick out of my shorts too. Why not? It's not like the squirrels will tell on me.
Standing in just my underwear, I can't help but feel how glorious the moss is under my feet, deliciously cool. Smiling wide, I spin around like a school girl laughing.
Me.
Laughing.
The spinning, however, starts to make me sorta dizzy. I've stopped turning, yet the woods keep traveling on around me. Whoa. That's freaky.
I take a step forward to sit down, but I lose my footing and start to fall backwards. I close my eyes and brace myself for the impact but instead of falling flat on my ass, I'm scooped up inside two masculine arms.
“Jada!”
The voice is male and kind. His face is blurry for some bizarre reason.
I try to focus my eyes again, but his head splits itself in two, making it really hard to pick one pair of eyes to look at. Ditching my vision I let my eyes roll back in my head where they seem to want to go and focus instead on his arms. Strong and warm. I sigh and cuddle up against them. He knows my name. That's good enough for me.
“Why are you out here in just your underwear?” he asks. His voice sounds weird. Almost like he's talking inside a jar.
“Because it's hot out.” I mumble, and then smile. “You're hot, too.” Whoa, did I just say that?
Jar Head brushes his hand against my check and tucks my hair back behind my ear. Man, that feels nice.
“Are you hurt?”
“I'm right as rain,” I say, trying to keep my eyes open so he'd actually believe me, whoever he is.
The way his voice waivers, all worried like, it feels so... nice. I start to wonder what those large hands of his would feel like against my hot skin.
I lick my lips deciding not to wonder anymore. I wrap my hands around his neck. And he does the same. Almost as though he wants me.
Me.
A slow burn starts in the pit of my stomach; and I like it. I want more. I grab his shirt and pull him to me.
That's when I can finally make out who is standing in front of me.
It's Hawk.
I stop in mid-kiss, trying to blink his cold eyes away. After a few blinks it works. Suddenly Tobias is in front of me, smiling his delicious half-smile. His luscious curls drip down his forehead. Ignoring the truth that lurks inside my head, I let my imagined blue-eyed Tobias brush his thumb against my cheek, wiping away a tear I didn't even know I had.
My breath catches seeing desire dance in his eyes. I can see it. Feel it. He does want me. Tobias wants me.
“Kiss me,” I whisper, closing my eyes in an effort to still the sudden spinning trees.
A second later my wish is granted. His lips crash against mine as heat pools between my legs. His tongue takes mine hostage, causing me to claw my fingers into his back pulling him closer, needing him to will devour me.
He releases my lips, which now feel swollen and sore, and begins to attack my neck with deep kisses. My body arches up desperate for his touch. Any touch. Complying, he works his way down to my breasts.
A tiny voice is yelling at me to stop, to push him away, revolted th
at Hawk is touching me, but I refuse to listen. Deep down I know its him and not Tobias running his hands over my skin, but I can't seem to make myself care. Someone is touching me and that’s good enough for me.
I tear at Hawk's shirt until he raises up and removes the barrier for me. The hunger on his face is suddenly terrifying, but I'm too far gone to stop him now.
Foolishly, I try to sit up in order to run my hands over his chest but the trees around me start spinning again. His image has blurred into two separate people, each Hawk hungrier than the other.
I close my eyes to try and come back to reality, but when I try to open them back up, they won't budge. An intense heaviness presses down on me, forcing me down onto the ground. The sharp undergrowth slices open my back. I don’t stop kissing him though because each kiss pulls me further away from the world. I let myself slip into the darkness that is calling me. The last thing I feel are his fingertips as they rip off my underwear.
After that, there is nothing. Blessed and beautiful, nothing.
Tobias
Her scent leads me to the woods. I realize I should be out of breath, or at the very least using my inhaler, but I didn't even bring it. It's shocking that I don't seem to need it. My feet fly over the fallen branches and twigs either not managing to get sliced or more likely my brain hasn't registered the pain yet. I have to stop a few times to sniff the air, but her smell has become so powerful that I'm almost overtaken by it. She's here. I just have to find her. She needs me. I don't know how I know this, but I do.
Cresting a small hill, I see her lying on the ground.
Alone.
And naked.
“Jada!” Half falling, half sliding, I run down the hill toward her.
She's lying on her back, one leg slightly bent. The smallest of frowns covers her sleeping face.
My God, she is beautiful.
It's only when I sink down to the ground to check for her pulse that I see the marks. Large, dirty hand prints cover almost every inch of her body.
“Jada!” I shout again, shaking her but she only moans softly.
Pulled Back (Twin Flames Series) Page 6