"I don't mean about stars and constellations," Nellie said. "I mean about us."
Will pressed his lips to her hand then looked at her. "I wasn't sure there was an us."
"I'm not sure either," Nellie said, "but I like what I feel when we're together like this."
Will released her hand and put his arm around her and pulled her to him. "So do I," he whispered next to her temple before touching his tongue to the rim of her ear.
Nellie gasped as chills rippled through her, and when Will's tongue traced the inner recesses of her ear and darted inside, she moaned. "Maybe we shouldn't let things happen too fast," she said. "And there's a point we mustn't go beyond."
"Which is?" Will continued to tease the inner recesses of her ear.
"Umm… somewhere between here and… somewhere else… umm."
Will whispered into her ear. "But you like what I'm doing, don't you?"
"Well... yes," Nellie replied, shivering as he nibbled her ear lobe, "but maybe you shouldn't be doing that since we haven't established exactly what we—"
"Be quiet and just enjoy what I'm doing and let me enjoy what I'm doing—" Will traced the curve of her cheek with his finger and let it trail down her neck "—and all those nice female curves have me slavering and drooling like a dirty old man."
Nellie eyed him dubiously. "I can't see how you can be attracted to a plump woman."
"Plump?" Will laughed softly. "Nellie, my good woman, you're not plump. You're padded in all the right places. I'm a healthy, red-blooded male who happens to like the way you're shaped, who wants to explore further your unlimited possibilities."
Heat rushed up Nellie's face and she giggled, feeling like the most desirable creature on earth. It felt good to be wanted again. Will curved a finger beneath her chin and lifted, drawing her mouth toward his. "Your face feels hot—" he touched his lips to each eyelid, then to the curve of her cheek, and the tip of her nose. Bending over her, he lowered her to the sleeping bag and kissed her long and hard, capturing her mouth with his. And she returned the kiss while allowing his hand to roam beneath her shirt where he dragged it up so he could cup her breast. The kiss ended when he tugged her bra down and took her nipple between his lips, sending a rush of adrenaline through her.
But when Will tucked his hand into the waistband of her sweatpants, Nellie pressed against his chest, and said, in a winded voice, "I think we reached the somewhere I was talking about, so we’d better stop here." She removed his hand and pulled her bra up and her shirt down.
Will breathed a long, weary sigh, and said, in a raspy voice, "Sorry, I got carried away."
"You don’t need to apologize," Nellie replied. "I was enjoying what you were doing. I just don't want things to go too fast. And to make sure things don't proceed as they were, I'd better go to bed." She gave Will a quick kiss on the lips and left the deck.
But as soon as she saw her big empty berth, she felt a loss. Thoughts of entwining her naked body with Will's brought fluttering low in her belly and tingles in the private places he’d awakened, places that had, until recently, been dormant. And all she had to keep from acting on the instincts God gave them was her own willpower. Nothing more.
And right now she wanted Will more than ever...
She was distracted from her thoughts when she heard Mike moving around in the fo'c'sle. Surprised he was still be awake, and wondering if he'd had another bad dream, she started to go check on him, but hearing nothing, as she stood with her ear pressed against the door to the fo'c'sle, she decided to let Mike be. In the morning, she'd discuss with Will his options for dealing with Mike if he had another dream...
...There's no place in my life for Mike or any other kid... I just want to be clear on that...
Nellie was reminded again, that while she might be faced with the challenge of raising a son, the man to share the experience with would not be Will. But that didn't keep her from wanting him, as long as she didn't act on it.
CHAPTER 6
Standing in the galley in her terry robe, the next morning, Nellie ducked her head under the table, where Katy was curled up in her dog bed, and said, "Come on, Katy." She carried Katy to the head where Will had prepared a Katy-litter box, as he referred to it. When they'd first introduced Katy to it they were surprised how quickly she learned its purpose.
After Katy was done, she followed Nellie into the master stateroom, shaggy tail wagging, as Nellie poured dry food into her bowl. "You stay in here so Zeke can stretch his legs," she said, pulling the door shut. Nellie returned to the galley and opened the cabinet known as Zeke's Stateroom and the tabby raised his sleepy head, yawned, stretched first one front leg then the other, and quietly sat. "Okay," Nellie said. "Stay in there if you want, but you don't have to." She added cat chow and water to his double bowl set.
A few minutes later, Will scurried down the ladder into the galley, grabbed Nellie around the waist from behind as she stood at the sink washing her hands before preparing breakfast, and kissed the side of her neck. "I can think of better sleeping arrangements than what we have," he said, nibbling her earlobe, while his hands moved up to capture her unbound breasts.
"Will!" Nellie yelped. She pulled his arms from around her and gulped in a breath of air, attempting to settle her rapid heartbeat. She had no idea what possessed him to behave the way he was. She'd thought she'd set things straight on the deck. "You've got to stop this."
Will smiled. "Do you realize what cute dimples you have when you’re perturbed?"
"Please be serious." Nellie dried her hands and reached for a mixing bowl.
"I'm trying to be, but you keep changing the subject." Will nuzzled the top of her head.
Nellie turned and braced her arms against Will's chest. "Nooo..." she exaggerated. "No more of this. N... O..." She went to the refrigerator and took out six eggs and set them on the small counter beside the mixing bowl.
She had just cracked the first when Will reached around her from behind and cracked another egg, with her in the circle of his arms, and said, "You have my hormones raging like a pubescent teenager." He set the eggshells aside and reached for another egg and cracked it.
When he'd finished cracking the fourth, Nellie removed Will's arms from around her and turned, then pinned him with sober eyes, and said, "You've got to stop this. It's not healthy for Mike. He could walk in and find us. Besides, you know the boundaries I set for us last night."
Will dropped his arms to his sides and said, in a voice that had lost all its humor, "Actually I don't. They keep changing."
Nellie knew he was right. She’d spent the better part of the night mulling over her response to his passionate kiss and intimate exploration of her body, and although she’d made it clear any relationship outside of marriage was unacceptable, she'd also given him every reason to believe they could have a relationship that would not include consummation, but would allow a moderate level of intimacy, with boundaries set in place, an idea she'd been contemplating.
Looking up at him, she said, "I tell you what. If you promise to behave when Mike’s around, I'll let you misbehave a little when he's not."
Will eyed her guardedly. "Are we talking misbehaving above the neck, or above the waist?"
"I suppose a little of both," Nellie replied, "but only if we're certain Mike's not around. But anything below the waist is off limits to both of us." She felt her face grow hot as she visualized them sharing covert kisses and secret hugs and his hands and lips on her breasts.
Will smiled broadly. "You're even more beautiful when you blush," he said. "You do realize you're blushing, don't you?" He kissed her lightly.
Flustered and flattered, Nellie drew the robe together over her gown and tried to ignore the lustful thoughts his playful bantering provoked. She found it strange, after so many years of only wanting one man's hands on her, that she wanted Will's hands in places only Richard had touched. But Richard was gone, and for the short term, Will seemed to fill the void. But Will was also a dangerous distracti
on because they were not alone on the boat, and Mike was already troubled that Will seemed to be taking his father's place. Wondering how it went with Will and Mike, she said, "How did things go in the fo'c'sle last night?"
Will arched a brow, and replied, "Other than I had to sleep with bent knees and curled toes, reasonably well. If I annoyed Mike, he didn't say anything."
"Unless he has a bad dream, he sleeps pretty soundly," Nellie said, while beating the eggs with a fork. "I forgot about the short berths. They seemed adequate when I was a child." She dumped the eggs into the skillet, which was on one of the three burners on the small galley stove.
Will rested his hands on Nellie's hips and peered over her shoulder as she began slowly stirring the eggs in the skillet, and said, "Speaking of inadequate berths, can I sneak into your stateroom after Mike's asleep so I can stretch out? You'd hardly know I was there."
Nellie caught the change from innocent to devilish. "Yeah, right," she said, thoughts of naked entwined bodies leaving her giddy. "Maybe I should sleep in the fo'c'sle with Mike," she suggested, "and you could have the big bed all to yourself." She pushed the scrambled eggs into a mound in the skillet and turned off the burner.
"Not a suitable alternative. Don’t forget Dr. Emery's advice," Will replied. Still standing behind her, he moved his hands up to cup her breasts, and said against her temple, "I like the new boundaries, and since you're not stopping what I'm doing, you must like them too."
"I do," Nellie replied. For a few moments she allowed Will to palm her breasts and tease her nipples, but realizing how foolish she was being, she pulled Will's hands from around her, and said, "We need to stop. Mike could come in anytime. And you'd better sit at the table and put a little distance between us." Darting around him, she put a couple of slices of bread in the toaster, placed a mug of coffee on the table for Will, then began spooning scrambled eggs onto a platter.
Not more than a five of minutes later, Mike scaled the ladder and sat opposite Will.
Nellie gave Mike a good morning kiss on the top of the head then served him some scrambled eggs and toast. After pouring a cup of hot chocolate for him, and coffee for herself, she sat beside Mike.
After taking a long slow sip of coffee, she looked askance at Mike, she said, "How did you do your first night, honey?"
Mike spooned a dollop of jam onto his toast, glared at Will, and replied, "He snores."
Nellie glanced across the table at Will "He was probably just overtired," she said.
Mike eyed Will, dubiously. "Are you gonna marry my mother?"
Nellie looked at Mike with a start. "Why would you ask a question like that?"
Mike crunched on his toast. "You kissed a long time last night."
Nellie's hand jerked, splashing coffee across the table. She grabbed a handful of paper napkins to mop up the mess. The noise in the fo'c'sle. Mike had been up. Maybe watching from the shadows. She reflected on their intimate kiss and what Will did afterwards. She'd even had to pull her bra up and Will's hand out from inside her sweats. Mortified at the thought that Mike could have seen what Will was doing, she found herself at a loss for words.
"Well? Are you?" Mike glared at Will, waiting for his response.
"Your mom and I are just good friends," Will replied in a flat dry tone. "Good friends don’t necessarily get married." He took a long slow sip of coffee.
Mike sat silently for a few moments, brows gathered in thought then said to Will, "Mom wants to have a baby and people have to be married to make babies, so if you and Mom are going to make a baby, you have to get married."
Nellie looked at Mike in alarm, wondering just how much he had seen. Clearly it was enough to conclude that they were in the process of making a baby. "You know you're not supposed to be on deck at night," she said in a wobbly voice, attempting to change the subject.
"I just went to see what all the noise was. Geez, I knew what you were doing."
Nellie felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Had Mike seen exactly where Will’s hands and lips had strayed, or heard her moans of pleasure while he’d taken the liberties she’d allowed him to take? Tears of humiliation prickled her eyes and she blinked several times to stop them from forming. Deciding it was best to drop the subject, she drew in a long, breath and said, "Finish your breakfast. We have a long day ahead of us." She mopped up the last of the coffee. No more kissing. No more hugging. No more… anything.
She looked at Will, and there was no question he was troubled by the exchange, though she doubted his uneasiness had anything to do with where his hands and lips had wandered. Mike was demanding to know Will's intentions.
"I guess we'd better weigh anchor and go find some whales," Will grabbed two pieces of buttered toast from the platter, slipped from behind the table and left.
Mike looked at Nellie, and said, "I don't want him for a step-father."
"You don't need to worry about that," Nellie said. "Like Will told you, we're just good friends. But when men and women are good friends, sometimes they like to express their feelings in physical ways."
"You were kissing him like you kissed Daddy," Mike said.
"You were not supposed to be on deck at night. How long were you there?" Nellie asked, less concerned about Mike being on deck, than how much he night have seen.
"I just came up to see where you were, and when I saw you kissing, I left. It was gross."
Relieved, Nellie said, "Well, Will and I have an understanding now and we won't be kissing anymore, and you're not to wander around the boat at night. Is that clear?"
"Yeah, whatever." Mike turned and climbed the ladder.
Nellie stared after him. It was impossible to explain to Mike what she and Will had been doing, because she didn't understand it herself. Assuming it had been too dark for Mike to see exactly where Will's lips had strayed, she still couldn't put in plain words why a man and a woman, who were supposed to be friends, would kiss each other like the world was about to come to an end... a bad message to send to an impressionable boy who was on the verge of puberty. But the damage was done, and it was too late to undo it.
Feeling a stab of remorse, she took up the task of cleaning the galley.
After she'd scrubbed the skillet and washed and dried the dishes, then stashed the bowls and utensils in cabinets and drawers, she went to her cabin to make up her bed. As she smoothed the sheets, she reflected on how tidy the big bed looked, almost un-slept-in. The sight made her lonely. One of her most difficult adjustments after Richard's death was getting used to sleeping alone. She'd reach out during the night for a warm body to curl against and find only cold sheets. But when she was with Richard, the bed had always been more than slept in. It had been romped in, and loved in, and then slept in, and by morning it was nicely mussed.
She pulled the spread up over the blanket. How much she wanted to feel Will's body warm against hers, his fingers curling in her hair, his palm moving over her body. She sighed. How uncomplicated life would be if she didn’t feel a need to peg love and sex with marriage. They could just let things happen. Only the logistics of pursuing a relationship aboard a yacht, with an inquisitive ten-year-old boy aboard, would remain. But the truth was, she couldn’t separate the three, and Will couldn’t seem to connect them, an impasse she was slowly coming to accept.
***
By the time Nellie finished the tedious process of washing her hair with the low-pressure, flexible shower hose in the head, she could feel the choppiness of the water and hear waves splashing against the hull and knew they were underway. The plan was to spend the night in Campbell River, stopping early enough so they could walk around town and have dinner ashore. The following day they'd drop anchor near Beaver Bay, a section of the strait where the orca came close to shore to rub on the pebbly beaches. There, Will planned to set up the recording equipment for his study. Nellie was anxious for Mike to see the whales. She remembered how excited she'd been the first time Uncle Vern pointed out the dorsal fins of a pod of orca, and m
oments later, four huge mammals swam alongside the Isadora, arcing gracefully, in unison, above the surface of the water. As they were swimming off, one breached high, as if saying good-bye, his white belly catching the low afternoon sun. She remembered it as one of the most beautiful sights she'd ever seen, and she hoped Mike would experience the same sense of wonder.
After settling Katy in her bed in the galley, and putting a handful of chow in Zeke's bowl in his cabinet, Nellie ventured up to the wheelhouse where, to her surprise, she found Mike at the wheel. Will stood behind him, peering over his head. "We might see some orca today," Will said to Mike. "There's a pod that moves up and down Johnstone Strait. We'll try to record their voices tonight when there are fewer distractions from boats."
"How do you make 'em talk?" Mike asked, his tone flat.
Nellie noted Mike's feigned lack of interest and knew he was curious, but too stubborn to admit it. Will caught her eye and winked, and she knew he was onto Mike as well. "They don't talk, they communicate," Will said. "They're curious creatures, so we start by sending music to them through the hydrophone. If they're around, they'll hear the music and come up to the boat. They also respond to the sounds of a guitar, so we use the synthesizer to reproduce guitar sounds." He looked toward the sea and said, in a contemplative tone, "Hearing an orca repeat what you play sound for sound is an experience you'll never forget."
"They really do that, repeat sounds?" Mike said, his voice eager.
"They sure do," Will replied. "They're very complex creatures. Not only do they repeat what we play, but they compose their own tunes and tack them onto our phrases. I'm hoping that if we can gather and compile the sounds they make, we might be able to create a dialogue with them through musical communication. You might be able to help me with this."
Nellie saw, for the first time, a glimmer of true interest in Mike’s eyes, as if he wanted to learn more from Will but was too mulish to ask. She’d also heard the enthusiasm in Will's voice as he talked about his orca study. Before now, he'd said little about it. They’d been too involved with refurbishing the Isadora, keeping tabs on Mike, worrying about being followed by a man with a gun, and being involved in their own dubious relationship, that what Will loved most had been pushed into the background. It wasn't until now that she could feel his eagerness to be back with the animals he loved. "You really enjoy this, don't you?" she said.
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