by J. M. Witt
“Heath?! Kerrigan? You hate Heath!”
I glared at Stacey after Jaime’s outburst. “Nothing happened and it was MONTHS ago.”
“So something did happen?”
“No!”
“You sure about that?”
“YES! He’s like a brother to me. Gross!” If Heath could use that excuse then I could too.
Jaime bought what I said with no question as I avoided eye contact with Stacey. “Alright. Time for you two to find a dress.” Their heads popped up, what looked like disbelief on their faces. “What? Really? Come on. Who else would I ask to be my bridesmaids?”
After I paid for our dresses, insisting to pay for theirs given the circumstance, Jaime headed home. Stacey offered to pick up dinner and I took the dresses home to my place. We were beyond fortunate that no altering of the dresses was necessary. Even Jaime found one that accommodated her baby belly. I’d be lucky if she didn’t go into labor at the wedding.
The next couple of weeks flew by. Almost every evening was filled with either working out, my girlfriends, or my parents. Friday, the week before my ceremony I had a group of girls over at my place for a mini bachelorette party. I was gifted with negligees and naughty items of all variety. Sex toys, lube, condoms, were just some of the basics.
The next day I had my last meeting with my panel of experts. We had been talking for several minutes when Dr. Phillips asked something I wasn’t expecting.
“Lucy, what if it turns out to be someone you know?”
I started cracking up at the ridiculous thought and realized Dr. Phillips was serious. “I, wait what?” I looked to each of them. “Are you serious? It’s someone I know?”
“You know we can’t confirm or deny that. Would you still be open to the possibility if it was?”
I felt myself begin to sweat and became nervous. Honesty, it was the best. “Well, if it’s one of my ex-boyfriends I don’t think I could. There were reasons we ended our relationships.”
They studied me intently and just when I was about to ask another question, Dr. Phillips reassured me, “Lucy, we meet hundreds of people over the course of a lifetime. We really are confident about the match we’ve selected for you. Obviously you’re both from the same metropolitan area, so there’s always a small chance that you’ve crossed paths with him. I hope you’re as excited as we are.”
Taking a shaky breath, I felt a little more at ease. “You had me scared there. I’m not sure my dad would allow me to marry any of my ex-boyfriends either. So, there’s that.” I clasped my hands together and said to no one in particular, “I just hope he’s as invested in this as I am.”
They all smiled back at me. “Your match is a good man. I think you’ll agree once you meet him.”
“Ugh. You’re killing me!”
“Very soon! Enjoy your last few days as a single woman. The next time we meet you’ll be married!”
I met Stacey at a jewelry store that night. I wanted to get my future groom a gift and I wasn’t sure what to get. We looked at watches, cuff links, tie clips, and rings. I didn’t have any idea if he even liked jewelry of any kind. Then gold, white gold, platinum, or tungsten? So many decisions!
“I give up. I need to think about this.”
I left empty handed.
After a lot of thought, I went back a few days before the wedding and picked out his gift. Then I headed to the store and picked out a card. Once I was home I sat and stared at the card for far too long before the words came to me. I hoped he’d appreciate my sense of humor and if he didn’t, then we were probably doomed.
~ Chapter 7 ~
That Friday night I checked into the hotel where I’d be getting married the next day. I got a better night’s sleep than I had in several weeks. I felt at ease and at peace. In less than a week I would be on my honeymoon and hopefully, falling in love. Ok. Maybe love was pushing it. I’d take deep like, too.
That night my dreams were filled with my childhood and teen years. But mostly of that summer and I hadn’t had that dream in so long.
My family, along with the Kerrigans always spent a few weeks together at the Kerrigan’s summer cottage. It was the Fourth of July and Will and Heath had just graduated high school. Will was still as dreamy as ever. I hadn’t talked to him since Christmas and he was more attentive to me that summer than he ever had been before. We took strolls together to the lake and swam together. If he knew I had a crush on him, he was playing it cool.
That night we planned to watch the fireworks with our families. Right when they started, he took my hand in his and I was overjoyed. I let him lead me away from where our families had blankets spread out on the beach. Leading me to a copse of trees, he sat down against the trunk of a tree and pulled me down to sit between his legs.
I had never been so close to him before and wasn’t sure where or how to sit. Gently, he pulled my back against his chest and told me to relax. He pushed my hair off my neck, sending chills down my spine. I could feel his breath against my ear and a flush began to creep all over my entire body. His fingers drew lazy circles over my arms, causing goosebumps to fly all over my body. He smelled slightly sweaty due to the summer heat, but his cologne was present.
“Lucy?”
“Hmm.”
I tilted my head back and met his chocolate brown eyes. I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing. His hand moved over my cheek and down the sensitive skin of my neck, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes. His other hand was at my waist and gently squeezed. This was it. William was going to be my first kiss…and my last.
I waited longer than I figured I would and opened my eyes. He was still staring into my eyes and then he asked, “Have you ever been kissed, Lucy?” I just shook my head. “Good. No one’s kiss will ever compare to mine.” I didn’t understand his meaning until it was all over.
My stomach was convulsing like crazy. Every little touch from him was amplified. He leaned in a little closer, our noses practically touching, and I closed my eyes. His breath smelled of cinnamon and just before his lips touched mine, he traced his thumb over my bottom lip, pulling it down slightly.
“Soon they’ll be swollen...”
His soft lips met mine and my heart swelled. Cinnamon breath and the smell of William filled me up. Nervously, I reached for his body, not sure where to put my hands. Placing them on his chest, his muscles flexed under my hands. He licked at my lips and I opened my mouth to him. He tasted of cinnamon, too, and I licked back. Shifting closer to me, I felt his hardness at my hip and moved against him.
Panting, he pulled back, “Careful, Lucy.”
“Sorry. Did I hurt you?”
Smiling, he said, “No, quite the opposite.” The fireworks finale began and he asked, “Come with me?”
We got up and I followed him, knowing I should’ve told my parents, but not caring anymore. We made it back to the house long before anyone else. He took me to the room he was sharing with some of his brothers and we sat on the bed. It wasn’t long before I was laying on the bed next to him. Our arms and legs tangled in one another while we frantically made out.
He fondled my breasts through my shirt and I moaned at the wonderful feelings it sent through my body. He sucked my bottom lip between his teeth and commented on my swollen lips. “Told you they’d be swollen.”
Smiling, I turned my face away from him, still embarrassed at what we were doing. “We should stop before everyone gets back.”
Groaning, he began kissing my neck. “I don’t want to let you go, Lucy.”
“So don’t, but we have to be careful.” He didn’t say anything and I knew he was leaving a hickey on my neck. “William…”
His head popped up and he looked confused. He blew out a hard breath, making me nervous and said, “Lucy, I need to tell you something.”
Before I could hear what he had to say, O, his younger brother came bursting through the bedroom door and shattered my world.
O took in the scene in front of him and said, “Sorry, Heath
. I didn’t know.”
I felt sick. I scrambled away from whom I thought was Will and glanced between them. Looking to O I demanded, “This is Heath?”
“Lucy…”
O, laughing, responded, “Of course it’s Heath. Will has a girlfriend.”
Without another word, O left the room, closing the door as I jumped off the bed. Straightening my clothes, I left the room knowing Heath was right behind me. I ran past my parents who waved, none the wiser to my predicament. Making my way to the tire swing outside in the back yard, I stood there not sure where to go or what to do. I was so hurt. This whole time, days and days, I thought I was spending time with Will. Hell maybe I was, but it had been Heath the whole time tonight.
“Lucy, please let me explain.”
I don’t know if it was my body’s idea of a warning or of helping me to gain closure, but I woke with a smile. I chose to believe it was my body letting go of all the dreams I had as an adolescent. I was an adult, getting married, and it was time to make new dreams and to let go of my childish ones.
Lying in bed, I rolled over and looked over my wedding dress that was hanging off the closet door. I was getting married. I was getting married? I was getting married! With a smile on my face, I stretched out like a cat under the covers. My mom, Stacey, and Jaime would be there soon and I needed to shower.
Staring at myself in the mirror, in a robe and my wet hair piled on top of my head, under a towel, I took a deep breath. My stomach growled just as room service knocked on the door. Opening the door, the attendant walked the tray to the table by the window and placed it down. I handed him some cash from my purse before he left.
It was too quiet. Streaming music through my phone, I sat down to eat. The Words by Christina Perri was filtering through the room and listening to the lyrics brought tears to my eyes. What the hell was I doing? I wanted the love and passion and romance that every relationship deserved. And I had no way of knowing if I was going to get that with my match. I mean, they knew that those things were important to me, but it was no guarantee that my match would evoke those qualities.
A knock came at my door. Opening the door, I was relieved to see Stacey and Jaime. They took in my appearance and frazzled state and ushered me to sit, each flanking me.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
“I, it’s just, here.” I replayed the song for them and we sat and listened. “What am I doing?” I was on the verge of hyperventilating as they tried soothing me.
“Lucy, if you don’t want to do this, just say the word.” Jaime was rubbing my arm and I saw Stacey’s reaction to the statement.
“No. Lucy, I know you. You want this and yes, it’s not conventional, but it’s you. You’ll make this work and so will he. I mean, come on! Look at you.” I grimaced at her, knowing at that exact moment I was a train wreck. “Ok, don’t look at you, but you’re amazing, beautiful, funny, kind. I’d do you!” We laughed at that. “He’ll treasure you and you’ll treasure him. If he doesn’t, he’ll deal with me.”
Jaime chimed back in, “and me!”
“I’m so scared. What if he’s fugly?” I tried smiling and their laughter was contagious. “Or horrible in bed or only wants head?”
“Well, if he’s got a nice dick then give the man some head!”
Jaime snorted as I laughed in response to Stacey’s remark. “Oh, my God! I lived without orgasms for over a year dating Randy. I can’t do that again.”
Chuckling, Stacey replied, “Well, his name should have warned you. He was a ‘Randy’ boy and wasn’t concerned with your well-being, just getting himself off.”
I shook my head at her, smiling. I covered my face with my hands and groaned. “Who does this? I mean, if he’s doing this as a means to find a wife…”
There was another knock at the door and Stacey got up to answer it. If it was my mom, she was early. I recognized the secretary from all of my appointments with the panel that interviewed me. Waving her in, I removed my towel and threw it into the bathroom. She handed me a small box and a card.
~ Chapter 8 ~
“What’s this?” Smiling, she insisted that I open it. Sitting back down, I opened the card. With a shaky breath, my eyes skimmed over the writing. The words were sweet and had me crying all over again.
“Read the damn card!” Jaime was eager to know what it said and so was Stacey.
To my future wife,
Thank you for taking a chance. If you’ve gotten half the grief I have, I can only imagine how nervous you are. I can’t help but think about you walking the same city streets as me, wondering if we’ve already met. Like ships passing in the night, I’ve been looking for you and know that you’ve been looking for me, too. Now I’ve found you. From this day on I will be your anchor, the one you can always depend on. If the sea of life gets rough, know you can turn to me. I hope you will be the same for me…
My anchor.
I can’t wait to begin this new journey with YOU.
~ See you at the altar…
Your future husband
Jaime sniffled, “Oh, God. He’s so sweet.” I was crying and Stacey was on the verge.
I opened the small box that accompanied the card and opened it up. Gasping, I pulled out a necklace with a silver anchor charm. “It’s beautiful.” We were looking it over when the receptionist went to leave. “Wait! I have a gift for him, too.”
I got up and walked to the dresser. Placing the box and the card in her hands, I said, “Make sure he gets this.” She nodded and left.
Stacey asked, “What’d you get him?”
“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”
“Alright. So, you’re good? Cuz I’m ready to celebrate!”
“Yes, I’m good.”
“Alright. Turn that depressing shit off. I have a song of my own I want you to hear.”
I turned my music off as Stacey started hers. The song had us cracking up as we listened to it a few times. Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor put us all in great spirits as we started doing my hair and makeup.
Sitting in the chair a couple hours later, we made the final touches to my hair and makeup. “Ok. I think you’re ready. Just need to get you in your dress.”
My mom had arrived by then and was sniffling. “Mom, please.”
“It’s just...I knew this day would always come, but I don’t think you’re ever ready for it.”
“Please! You’ve been ready to marry me off since I could talk back.” We were all laughing.
My mom replied, “Well, yes, that is true. You still have that sass that drove me crazy. Now you get to drive someone else crazy!”
“Yeah. Good luck to the lucky sir.” I glared at Stacey and stuck my tongue out at her.
“Don’t mess up your makeup!”
“Yeah, yeah.”
We pulled my dress off the hanger and began the tedious process of lacing up the corset back. Once it was on, I had Jaime put the anchor necklace around my neck. I stood back and looked in the mirror. It was real. I loved the dress. I knew what I’d wanted and was so happy that it actually looked good when I’d tried it on at the store a couple weeks prior.
I hadn’t heard my dad walk in and turned to see him. “You’re a vision.” Smiling, he leaned in and kissed my cheek.
“Thank you.”
“So, you’re really doing this?”
Touching the necklace that rested above my heart, I replied, “Yes. I’m really doing this.”
Nodding, “Ok. They’re waiting.”
“Ok. I just have to make sure I have everything.”
We all did another once-over of the room and put my bags by the door. They’d be moving my belongings to the honeymoon suite once the wedding had taken place.
Honeymoon. I had to pack for that, too. All I knew was that we were going somewhere warm. I couldn’t wait to get my bikini on and sink my feet into the sand, assuming there would be sand.
My dad and I waited for the next elevator and sent my mom, Stacey, and J
aime on down ahead of us. I knew he just wanted a moment alone with me and I was going to give it to him.
Pulling me close, he whispered, “I love you, munchkin.”
“I love you, Dad.”
“So, what are you going to do if he’s the ugliest man you’ve ever seen?”
I balked at him. “Dad! You’re not helping. I mean, looks are nice, but they’re not everything.”
“You’re asking a lot of me. Giving you away is one thing, but to a complete stranger...” I watched as he pulled at the collar of his shirt. “Maybe we should agree on a word or signal. You say it and we’ll high-tail it out of there.”
Laughing, I agreed. The elevator doors opened and we stepped inside. “I’ll ask for a piece of gum. That work?”
“Got it. One mention of gum and I’ll pull my gun and send him running for the hills.”
When the elevator doors opened, we were escorted to a private room and told it would be just a few minutes. My mother had been asked to take her seat while Jaime, Stacey, my dad, and I waited. Our bouquets were waiting for us and it seemed like an eternity as we waited. My hands were sweating and my heart was racing.
The room doors opened, “It’s time.” Jaime and Stacey flashed me their cheesy grins in unison as we headed toward the small chapel the hotel had on site. Standing to the side so that I couldn’t sneak a look at my groom, I watched as Jaime and Stacey disappeared into the chapel.
The murmur of voices carried through to where my father and I stood. Almost more than I would expect from people awaiting a bride. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it all. My dad seemed to sense my concern.
“Say the word.” I just shook my head.
“I’m sure they’re all nervous for us.”