“We’ll take it easy, okay?” Balor huffed again. We stayed on the riverbank for a while, both of us succumbing to exhaustion and passing out. I would say we fell asleep, but when I came to, I definitely didn’t feel like I’d been asleep. I felt like I had the time I’d woken from hitting my head against a dresser after being flung bodily by that sylph.
When I opened my eyes, my head throbbed and my mouth was dry. I cupped my hand in the river and swished the water in my mouth before spitting it out and taking a fresh drink. When I sat back on my heels, I instinctively reached for the looking glass at my back, only remembering it was gone when I couldn’t find the handle.
“Oh,” I said, shaking my head, “right. Damn it.” Now I had no idea what Jodi, Steven, and Ashriel were doing. I had no idea when they might perform the spell and pull me out of this realm, effectively delivering me into Ashriel’s waiting hands. The damn sneaky bastard.
Heat flared in my stomach. My fingers tingled with it, and I suddenly felt like I needed to move, to hit something, to do something, anything.
“Balor?” I placed my hand on him to shake him gently. “Time to go,” I said when he opened those bright red eyes. He quirked a white brow at me, but I just motioned with my head for him to follow me as I got to my feet. I stalked over to the trees where I had drawn the glyphs and symbols to work as a portal into the Shide with Balor close on my heels. I was glad to see his limp wasn’t as pronounced as it had been, but I didn’t let that relief bank the growing heat of my anger.
In the melee, my markings had been scuffed and the lines broken. I knelt down to study the symbols and decided to try something entirely new. With the flat of my hand, I erased everything I had drawn, including the two parallel lines. I stood up and clapped my hands to dust them off. I stared at the empty space between the two trees, and in my mind, I imagined a glowing tunnel of light leading into another world. In my mind, I knew this was a gateway and all I had to do was to step through it.
“Balor,” I whispered, “this is the doorway to the Shide.” The dog made no sound or movement to indicate he heard or understood me. “You and I are going to walk through this gateway and leave this world behind. Do you believe me?” I glanced down at Balor as he flicked his red eyes up at me. As one, we turned to face the empty space before us.
“Just believe,” I whispered for myself just as much as for him.
Together, we stepped forward. I refused to close my eyes, thinking that if I did so, it would somehow prove I was scared this wouldn’t work, that I didn’t actually believe. You had to believe in magic to make it real, and I was always the kind of girl who believed in magic, no matter what.
The air shifted, making it difficult to breathe. Golden light sparkled around us as we passed through the space between the trees, the forest before us melting away. Cold air was at my back, but glorious, bright warmth was at my front as I pulled my body through, knowing I was leaving that wretched place behind. I stumbled forward as I took that last step. The portal slid closed around my body as we entered the Brugh, the entrance of the Shide, and I gasped as the vice around my chest finally let go.
Balor bounded forward, his limp totally gone. He danced back and forth in the tunnel. The light refracted off his clean white coat, casting prisms over the earthen walls. He yipped happily, running back to circle my legs, his tail whipping so fast I could hear the wind it created.
Running my hands over my body, I made sure I too was wholly intact. My injuries, the aching muscles, bone bruises, and whatever other damage I had caused myself, was gone, left behind in that land of nightmares and endless night. I fell to my knees in relief. A laugh bubbled out of me, bouncing off the walls in an echo. I laughed until I couldn’t breathe and a stitch formed in my side. Balor licked my face, putting his paws on my shoulders and knocking me over, and I didn’t mind his weight at all. We were finally free of the Outlands, finally one step closer to going home.
“Stop, Balor, that’s enough!” I managed while trying to catch my breath. Lying on the ground, I took a moment to enjoy the feeling of not worrying if anything was sneaking up on me. The relief was enough to make me want to go to sleep right there, safe now in the faerie world, but I knew I had to press on; I had to find Iris of the Shattered Light.
***
The light at the end of the tunnel faded rather quickly after we took our first steps down the passage. We could still see, but only just. Balor’s initial excitement ebbed as he padded beside me, his keen nose in the air, nostrils flaring as he tested the scents around us. I hadn’t realized just how much I had missed the smell of damp earth and old roots. It calmed me, made me breathe easier.
I was also more than a little relieved to find I still had a corporeal body. I had thought there was a strong possibility I would become like a ghost again if I crossed over. The only difference here was that the healed wounds on my back, where my wings should be, twitched and itched. For spilt seconds, I would glance up, thinking my wings would be arched high overhead. But they never were.
The tunnel seemed to go on forever before it widened at the sides. Eventually the ceiling arced farther up, lifting the impending sense of claustrophobia. Soon we were in a wide, sweeping room. Vines and purple flowers snaked up the walls, coming together overhead, petals dripping down to carpet the dirt floor. The perfume was soothing and inviting rather than heady and overwhelming. Balor sneezed at the sudden onslaught of scents, and I was glad I didn’t have his heighted sense of smell just then.
“We’re getting closer,” I said in a hushed tone. Something about the room demanded quiet, like a library or a church. Many identical passageways led off in every direction. Balor’s head swung one way and then back as he took in the many choices, but I had a feeling it didn’t matter which way we went; we would find our way no matter what. My grandmother had told me the Shide was every bit as much a living and breathing thing as the creatures that called it home. It could shift and change from one moment to the next, anticipating needs or acting as a labyrinth to trap enemies. Right now, I felt the Shide was guiding my steps, taking me where I needed to go, and I trusted that it had somehow announced our arrival.
“C’mon, this way,” I said as I took the lead, deciding on the passageway directly across from us. Exerting ourselves unnecessarily by winding this way and that seemed silly.
Each room we passed through was grander than the one before it. One was a round amphitheater; benches all around led down to a dais in the middle of the sunken floor. The next was a magical ballroom with a glittering white marble floor with veins of black and gold, the walls hung with silver and gold gossamer. The next room was like something out of my dreams. If I could have shaped my perfect garden, that would have been it. The ground was covered in a thick layer of moss, and old oak trees lined the walls, the braided branches reaching up and up to form a domed canopy.
A small bubbling creek snaked through the room, winding through the flowerbeds and low bushes that hid benches and chairs. Lanterns glowed with mild yellow light, hung at random intervals throughout the room. I hadn’t realized I had stopped walking until Balor yipped for me from the other side of the room. I blinked at him, and moving my feet to get walking again took more effort than it should have.
“Tempting to stay right here instead of dealing with double crossing angels and creepy ghost crap,” I said to Balor once I was at his side again. We pressed forward, entering a very familiar room. This was the audience chamber for Iris, where I had watched the Minotaur torture the Sylph until she was a mad, giggling mass of bloody ribbons. A violent tremor went through my body at the memory. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, trying to shake the image out of my mind.
“So, you have finally returned,” a rich, melodic voice spoke. I remembered that voice, filled with the sounds of ringing bells. I turned to see Iris entering from a doorway I was sure wasn’t there a moment ago.
Her hair was still long and black, flowing in soft curls down her back with irises braided
among the locks. She had hidden her wings away and looked very human without them. If not for the long pointed ears and her eyes, she could have slipped into my world and hidden in plain sight. Her eyes were as bright and full of lavender stars as they were the last time I saw her, but today she was wrapped in a flowing white silk gown rather than standing proud and naked. Of course, I was a gross mess of blood and grey matter; I shifted awkwardly, feeling so out of place in this pristine room. Seeing her covered was strange, but it was a bit of a relief as I never really knew where to look when I was in her presence. I always ended up staring wide-eyed, desperately trying to maintain eye contact with her.
“We too enjoy the feeling of certain fabrics against our skin,” Iris said, answering my silent question. She stepped forward on bare feet, and I expected to see flowers blossom in her wake, but the floor remained unchanged.
“Iris,” I breathed her name in relief. Calling her by her name felt strange, but she had insisted we were equals and I shouldn’t bow or call her silly things like “my lady.” So I didn’t.
“Terra,” she replied, “it is good to see you.” She reached out to take my hands. Her skin was warm and soft, like fall leaves warmed from the sun. “When you went beyond the pale, I feared we would never speak again.”
I squeezed her hands tightly. “So did I. I need your help.”
“I know,” she said, letting go of my hands and turning back the way she’d come, walking to the doorway. She beckoned me with a small gesture, and I nearly ran to follow her. Balor followed quietly behind me.
The room she led me into was clearly her private chambers. A large bed sat in the center of the room covered in soft white linens and dozens of pillows that spilled onto the floor. The floor itself was covered in a carpet of fallen petals in shades of whites and purples. No matter where I stepped, the petals appeared untouched, never bruising or becoming crushed. The same lanterns in the garden were hung there as well, and there were clear orbs all around the room of varying sizes, a gentle white light emanating from them. I walked over to the wall to get a closer look at one of the orbs. Inside was a strange and beautiful glittering substance that moved constantly, never settling.
“Pixie dust,” Iris said. I turned to find her sitting at a small table with two chairs and a porcelain tea service laid out. I knew they hadn’t been there when I walked in.
“What?” I said, feeling my brow contract in confusion.
“The orbs,” Iris said as she poured two cups of tea. “They are filled with pixy dust. That’s what you were wondering, wasn’t it?”
“Actually, yeah,” I said as I walked over to take the empty chair. Balor came to my side to lie on the ground next to me.
Iris lifted her cup to take a sip of the warm liquid. “I see you have yourself a Cwn Annun.”
“A coon, what?” I asked.
“Cwn Annwn,” Iris repeated. She smiled lightly when she saw my confused expression. “A Hound of the Hill.”
“Oh,” I said lamely, glancing down at my canine companion. “I didn’t know that’s what he was. His name is Balor.”
“Balor, is it?” Iris asked coolly, earning a head bob from the white dog in return. She lifted one dark brow in a perfect arch while the rest of her pale face remained eerily still.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, my hand freezing in mid-air as I lifted the teacup.
“You have met Gwyn,” she stated. I nodded, not at all surprised she knew Gwyn. “And you stole his hound.” A slow smile curled over her lips as she watched my face.
“No, I didn’t steal Balor,” I said, setting my cup down. “Balor chose to come with me. Twice. He could’ve stayed with Gwyn or even gone back with him, but he didn’t want to.”
“Oh, I imagine he was terribly, terribly upset about that.” Iris said it as though it was the most wonderful thing in the world. She even leaned forward to run her hand along Balor’s head and scratch between his ears.
“Yeah, he was pretty put out about it,” I said. “How do you know Gwyn?”
“Our world, much like yours, is quite small,” she said cryptically. I waited to see if she would give me any more details, but she simply resumed sipping her tea with that same satisfied smile.
“What is a Hound of the Hill?” I asked, not bothering to attempt the other term she’d used.
“They are part of our Wild Hunt, though I’m sure you know that.” She set her cup down on the matching saucer. “They have many charges. They will hunt down wrong doers who’ve been brought to the Outlands, each night chasing them as they chased their victims in life. They also act as guides to lost souls on their way to the Otherworld.” She said that last so casually as she stirred a spoonful of pale pink sugar into her cup, the tiny ceramic spoon clinking against the sides. No metals down here.
“They guide lost souls,” I repeated, glancing down at Balor again. “But he’s been helping me get out of the Otherworld.”
“Because you were not meant to be there. I imagine he is only fulfilling his duties the way he sees fit. Faerie animals, dogs especially, are curious creatures; you would only give yourself a headache trying to understand them wholly.”
“You know I wasn’t meant to be there?” I asked, earning another of her small smiles that said nothing and everything. “You seem to know an awful lot about what’s going on even though you’ve been down here this whole time.”
“Those of us with dominion over the layers of our worlds are privy to many things, yes.” She nodded.
“If you’re privy to many things, then why the hell didn’t you answer my call?”
“We do not have dealings with the dead here,” she said, surprising me. “Here we are the Deathless Ones. We cannot hear the cries of the dead.”
“But you have an Otherworld for the dead,” I argued.
“And that is the only place they can be seen and heard.”
“So how did you know I wasn’t meant to be there if you couldn’t see or hear me?” My head was seriously starting to hurt.
“Because I could still see Jodi and Steven,” Iris answered.
“Then why didn’t you answer them?”
“Because I knew what they wanted and it was too late to help them.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“Steven had already banished you to the Outlands,” Iris explained. “Jodi called to us for help in finding you and bringing you back. That was beyond my control at that point.”
“Are you freaking kidding me right now?” I nearly broke the teacup as I slammed it back down on the saucer.
“No,” she replied simply. “I am not.”
“Couldn’t you have told them where I was then?”
“I suppose I could have,” Iris nodded, “if they had asked.”
“But you didn’t give them a chance to ask!” I could hear my voice rising, I could feel the warmth of anger blossoming inside of me again, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I didn’t want to. “I can’t believe you! You asked for our help, we risked our lives doing it, you promised us you owed us a favor, and how do you repay us? By turning your back on us on a technicality? Damn, stupid faerie games!”
I didn’t remember standing up, but I was suddenly looking down on Iris’s calm face, my hands balled into fists, and I was out of breath from screaming. Had I still been alive, the walls would have been trembling as the ground shook around me. However, I wasn’t alive and the room was unnervingly still as the echoes of my screams died away.
“Feeling better?” Iris asked without as much as a trace of emotion in her voice. I gritted my teeth, biting back the curses I would’ve flung at her had I not wanted to know what other secrets she hid from me. I grabbed the back of my chair and pulled it out again before sitting down, crossing my arms over my chest, and glaring at her.
“So, what else do you know?” I demanded.
“I know you ran from your guardian angel.”
I quickly replied, “He was not my guardian.”
“Perhaps,
” she said with a nod. “But I know turning away from the Light tore your wings from your back, and you have been running from the deadly Northern Angel. And I know he is with your friends right at this moment, performing a spell to pull you from this world into the next.”
“I know that too,” I said. My earlier anger washed out of me so suddenly that my whole body slumped.
“Why don’t you want to be a guardian angel, Terra?” I glanced up at her and saw that she truly wanted to know why I had run. I remembered wanting to ask her if faeries really were descended of angels. Maybe if they were angelic outcasts, she would understand my reasons more. But did it really matter to me if she understood?
“I knew leaving Jodi and Steven behind would hurt them,” I said.
“Death always leaves a void.”
“No, not just a void,” I said, shaking my head. “When I died, Steven and Jodi lost their powers, and they began to fade.”
“When you sever a limb and allow the wound to bleed and bleed, eventually the entire body dies.” I blanched at her choice of words, but she was pretty much correct.
“Anyway,” I said, “Ashriel told me I couldn’t worry about them anymore, and he tried to take me away. I couldn’t abandon them. I couldn’t leave them to die because I was foolish and got myself killed.”
“And he wouldn’t allow you to remain with them, even as an angel?”
“No, he said they weren’t my charges and I couldn’t concern myself with them.” I made an ugly noise of contempt.
“So,” she said after letting me brood for a few moments, “tell me why you are here.”
I opened my mouth to ask her for the favor she owed me, ready to lay it out on the line, when the other question came to mind. I closed my mouth and looked at Iris, wondering if she’d tell me the truth or just give me one of those infuriating half-truths.
“Are faeries really descended from angels?” The question rushed out of me so fast I wasn’t sure she understood me.
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