by L. E. Bross
I pull my phone back out.
Don’t do anything stupid!
Of course I get no reply.
“Ms. Darlington.” I look up and see Mr. Reynolds standing in front of my desk with a scowl on his face. “Your phone, please. You’ll get it back at the end of the day.”
I start to argue but he gives me a warning look and I hand it over. Great. He’s the only teacher who doesn’t issue a warning first. Now I won’t know if something happens with the guys.
The day lasts forever and by the time I get my phone back, my nerves are shot. I check but there are no new texts. I’m going to kill them later. I meet Meri in the parking lot and she follows me home so I can change, then I climb into her Jeep and we’re off.
It turns out that hanging out means going to the salon where Meri talks me into getting my tips professionally bleached and my hair cut into an edgy pixie style that I actually love. We get mani and pedis, something I’ve never done before, then decide to hit up a couple of stores because I’ve noticed that my clothes are fitting a little tighter lately. Almost four weeks of regular meals will do that.
I actually have a few curves now.
On the way home, we grab a pizza for dinner and eat it in my room while Meri picks out something for me to wear to the baseball game on Thursday.
“I’m so glad you’re going.” She lays on her back on my bed with her head hanging over the side. “I don’t really have a lot of girlfriends to hang out with.”
I feel bad. I’m not using her, but it sort of feels that way.
“Can I ask you a question?”
She sits up and flips onto her stomach. She has her phone in her hand and I’m pretty sure she’s texting Trey. She tosses it onto the bed and cups her chin in her hands.
“Sure, as long as I can ask you one.”
I nod, then sink down next to her.
“What do you see in Trey?”
She tilts her head and her eyebrows scrunch down.
“It’s just… you’re the nicest person I think I‘ve ever met, and he’s… not?”
She lowers her head and rests her cheek on her crossed arms.
“He hasn’t had the easiest life. His dad treats him like crap and his brother pretty much ignores him. His mom tries, she’s actually really nice, but there’s only so much she can do, ya know? I don’t know. He’s good to me. I know he can be a bit of an ass and I’m honestly not sure why he hates the LB so much, but deep down he’s a good guy.”
I bite my tongue. If she only knew.
“So my turn. What’s going on with you and the LB? I thought you were into Luc?”
I push up and sit cross-legged, pulling a pillow against my stomach. I have to be careful what I say. I’m sure that Meri talks to Trey and I’m also sure she tells him things, not to be a spy but because she cares about her friends.
“I like Luc. He’s a nice guy.” I pick at an imaginary lint ball.
She pulls herself up, sitting across from me, and mirrors my position.
“But?”
I sigh. How can I explain this to her without giving away what her boyfriend is doing?
“There’s just more with them, I guess.”
“Riot?”
I can’t quite meet her eyes. “And X and Baz.”
Her eyes widen and she sits up straight. “Wait. With all of them?”
Crap. I duck my head but Meri scoots closer, grabbing my arm.
“Oh my god, are you hooking up with all of them?” The disbelief in her voice makes me cringe and I brace for her contempt. Her mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more jealous of anyone in my life. Tell. Me. Everything.”
I let out a breath I’d been holding and laugh.
I tell her enough to make her jaw drop and as we sit on my bed giggling about it, I realize that I’ve never done this before. I’ve never had a girlfriend to talk about boys with. I’ve never sat in a room and giggled and ate pizza. I’ve never had a spa day or anyone who wanted to hang out with me.
My eyes grow misty and I throw my arms around her in a spontaneous hug.
“Thank you. I‘ve never had a friend like you before.”
She grins but I see her eyes getting glassy.
“I don’t know what brought you here, Ever Darlington, but I’m so glad it did.” We both fight back tears until we laugh. “God, we’re such girls.”
“I know, right.”
With a lighter heart, we make plans to meet up before school then she grabs her things and I take the empty pizza box and chip bags with me as I walk her out.
After I stuff them into the garbage, I grab a water from the fridge. I didn’t realize how late it was and see Baz swimming laps. My earlier ire returns as I make my way out and sit on the edge of the pool.
He finishes and swims over to me.
When he wraps his fingers around my ankles, I pull my feet back.
“Nope, I’m mad at you.”
His eyes widen and he sinks so his knees are resting on the step below me. We’re eye level now. “The fuck for?”
“Where do I start? You guys took off and left me at school and I had no idea what you were even doing first of all.”
He runs his hands down my calves despite the glare I shoot him.
“Told you where we were. And we didn’t do anything stupid. Had to grab a drive to try and read that chip. Didn’t have the right tech here.”
“You could have just told me that.” I pull my bottom lip between my teeth. I’m not used to caring about anyone but Belle. It threw me off all day. “I was worried.”
His eyes soften and he grips me by the back of the knees and tugs until I drop down a step. Water laps at the back of my thighs now but it allows Baz to get closer. He nudges my knees apart so he can nestle between them. He runs his nose down mine. "Sorry.”
I try to keep pouting but he slides back and picks up my legs, trailing his fingers down to my toes.
“I like this.” He kisses right on top of the bright pink polish. “It’s sexy as fuck.” He goes in to do it again and I yank my foot away.
“That’s weird,” I argue but he just laughs. “Okay, then. How about this.” He takes my hand and darts his tongue out to run along the pad of one finger before sucking it between his lips and biting down playfully.
I feel it in my toes, which curl against the cement step.
“You look all girly with matching fingers and toes,” he says.
“Baz.” I half groan his name and he scoots closer.
“And that hair is fierce. It fits you.”
I suck in a breath when his tongue dances along my palm. Swear to god every time Baz touches me I discover a new erogenous zone. I finally give in and tangle my fingers in his wet hair, tugging his face closer so I can pull his bottom lip between my teeth.
His slides his fingers up my thighs and dips them under the hem of my shorts until his thumbs are precariously close to where I’m aching.
“Baz,” I grumble when he touches everywhere but where I want him.
“You want my mouth on you that bad, baby?”
“God yes,” I full out groan.
Baz uses his tongue to apologize and by the time I forgive him, I can’t feel my fingers or my bright pink toes.
Chapter Ten
During science class on Tuesday we get sent to the gym for career day. X and I walk together around to the various booths, him picking up pamphlets and handing them to me. Amused, I take them and slide them on top of one another.
When he hands me information about military school, I lift an eyebrow.
“Really?”
He grins. “You could use some discipline.” His eyes suddenly grow darker and he leans in close. The pamphlet is pulled out of my hand and he sets it back on the table. “On second thought, I have a better idea for that.”
My entire body flushes hot at his innuendo and I use my stack to fan my face.
“Have you ever been spanked?” he ask
s conversationally as we step away from the military booth.
The brochures go flying and my feet root to the floor. My face must be as red as a beet as I glance around to see if anyone heard. I have a feeling that the guy behind the military table did judging by the smirk on his face.
“I can't believe you just said that,” I grit out, crouching down to pick up the mess I made. X sinks down next to me.
“Is that a yes or a no?”
Before I can think about it I shove him and he topples backwards with a laugh, landing on his ass in the middle of the gym. The teacher in charge gives me a dirty look but I ignore her.
Everyone walks a big circle around us and X is still chuckling when he pushes to his feet.
“Feisty. Maybe military school is for you after all.”
I ignore him and make my way to the next table, aware of the eyes on us now. When X crowds close to me again, I growl.
“If you say one more word about spankings I’m going to hit you in your junk, is that clear?”
He throws his hands up and takes a small step back, an innocent look on his face. If his eyes weren’t dancing I might believe him.
When we get to the University of South Carolina he stops and grabs a couple things for himself. He hasn’t taken information from anyone else.
“Is this where you want to go?” I ask and he nods. “So what exactly are you going to study?”
I realize that I don’t know very much about these boys that I live with. Graduation is in a few short weeks and then…I have no idea what happens. I wasn’t supposed to be around that long, and I never really considered college before, but now?
What about Belle? a voice in the back of my head says. I fight back the bitter taste of regret and focus on moving my feet, one in front of the other. I look around the college fair. None of this is for me.
“I’m going into international business. Will work for Panchard when I graduate.”
My eyes widen in surprise and he shrugs.
“Or that was the plan. Not sure now, though. All of us were supposed to go work there. Baz has been interning summers since he was in eighth grade. Guess all that is up in the air now, huh?”
I take in his pained expression and reach out to squeeze his hand. I wish I could tell him it’ll be okay, but I have no idea. We haven’t talked about Peter and what he did yet. Or how they plan on finding Wendi. The guys have been too busy helping me get out from under my mess.
I absently grab a few brochures but before I can walk away the girl behind the table smiles. She looks to be a little older than us. Her black hair is bobbed at her chin and she has on trendy glasses that make her look like a sexy librarian.
X is wearing his smirk right now and I almost elbow him in the gut, though I know it’s just his default look around the opposite sex.
“What are your plans after graduation?” she asks me, but her gaze keeps darting to the side where X is standing.
I have no idea what to say. I never thought I’d be going to college, figured I’d be waiting tables all my life. I flip through the glossy pamphlet that lists all the majors and minors. There are so many I can’t process them all.
“You can go in undecided. Then when you’re ready, you declare and you’re good. That way you can think about it.” Her smile is genuine but I can’t swallow back the surge of jealousy when she turns it on X.
“And you?”
“Oh, I already know I’m heading to UofSC.”
Her eyes light with interest and she reaches down, grabbing a card to hand to him.
“I’m Shelby Meyers and I’m also a student guide, so I’d be happy to show you around when you get there.”
X takes her card and I pluck it out of his fingers before he can protest.
“Thanks, we’ll be in touch.” I toss it on the table and grab his arm, pulling him away. I’m aware how it looks but I reacted and now I’m regretting it. Especially when I see the look in his eyes. No wonder Riot looks so maniacal all the time if this is what he feels when he sees Luc and me together.
I owe him a bigger apology.
“Ever Darlington, are you jealous?” The gym lights reflect off the golden flecks in his knowing eyes, and heat climbs up my neck. I ignore it and him and walk toward the next table.
His deep chuckle follows behind me as I move around the rest of the room. I grab half a dozen brochures to keep Ms. Millay happy, but don’t stick around to listen to the speech about why I should attend their institution.
The bell chimes just as I finish and I exhale in relief. A quick glance shows that Shelby Meyers is still checking X out, and I want to go over and wipe the appreciation right off her face.
“Down, girl,” X says in my ear playfully, but his eyes are strangely serious when I look up. He cups my face with one hand and smooths his thumb over my jaw. I tilt into his touch without even thinking. “Nothing to worry about, sweetheart.”
My throat grows tight and I blink away the heat building in my eyes. These boys split me wide open and make me feel vulnerable and powerful all in the same breath. I want to rip Peter apart for what he’s doing to them, and in the same breath, want to wrap myself around them so they never have to hurt again.
I’ve never felt like this for anyone but Belle. It’s bone deep, a part of me now. I see the same reflected in their eyes. Even Riot.
No one’s ever wanted me for just me. Belle and I were a package deal. I knew people didn’t want older foster kids, so I was always the consolation prize. Then Nate took me in because he saw another object to own. I was an afterthought to almost everyone in my life.
Except these three boys.
X walks me to my locker where Riot is waiting. He looks down at the brochures and then back at me.
“Find anything good?”
“Not sure, was just grabbing things to keep Ms. Millay off my back.”
“I found something good,” X says with a wink thrown my way. “This hot little thing recruiting for UofSC.”
I know what he’s doing and I still can't stop the flush of anger that races through me.
I press my thumb to the lock and focus on my locker.
X chuckles then crowds in behind me. I feel the heat from his body along my entire backside.
“If you went to UofSC we could see each other all the time,” he says low in my ear. His hot breath takes away the chill and I brace my hand on the lockers, fighting the urge to shove my ass back. “Go Cocks.”
I glance over and see fire in Riot’s eyes as he watches us.
These guys are killing me.
“Maybe there’s a hot TA who’d like to show me around,” I shoot over my shoulder.
X crowds even closer. “Not gonna happen, sweetheart.”
A locker shuts close by and voices trickle into the bubble around us. When I peek to the left I see several students watching us. With a groan I move away from them but they fall into step next to me. I roll my eyes but secretly smile.
I kinda love that we’ve gotten past some of the shit and that the guys aren’t being assholes in school anymore.
“So what are we doing tonight?” X asks, throwing his arm over my shoulder.
The back of Riot’s hand grazes mine and goosebumps crawl up my arm. I know what I’d like to be doing. My cheeks burst into flames. I can’t even believe I’m thinking about this.
Yes, I’ve been with Riot and Baz, and yes, the thought of having them all makes me hotter than I thought possible, but how would that even work? Could it even work?
Well I’ve seen some porn and I know it could work physically, but how would sharing one girl work emotionally with them? The voice in my head whispers that they haven’t had a problem with it yet. When I really think about it, I don't care what other people think.
I like them all. A lot.
And the envious stares I get walking down the hall with my Lost Boys makes me hold my head higher. I don’t care if they whisper that I’m a slut. That I’m fucking all of them, which I’m not…ye
t. That makes me smile bigger and I bump my shoulder with X’s.
“I’m sure we can think of something.” There’s just enough suggestion in my voice to make his eyes widen and next to me I hear Riot mutter fuck on a harsh laugh.
“Hope you know what you’re getting into, Peep.”
The way he says my nickname, so dark and full of promise, sends heat right to my center. Yeah, I can get on board with this harem of men idea.
“Once you step over that line,” Ry says in my ear, “there’s no going back. You better be damned sure you want it, ‘cause after that happens, you will belong to us no question. All of us.”
I swallow against the dryness in my throat.
My body is ready to take him up on his offer and then some, but my mind spins in circles. Am I ready for that? Everything is in chaos around us and nothing is certain. Do I want to start a relationship with not one but three guys when my future's so unclear?
But when I look at them, when I’m around them, they’re all I want.
I can’t imagine what it would be like without them.
So what happens if I have to leave?
Baz is waiting by my car, and as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, he climbs into the passenger seat when I get in.
“See you at home,” Ry says, kissing the top of my head.
My stomach tightens and a strange emotion burns in my chest.
Home.
Home is where the heart is. I read that once on a throw pillow one of our foster moms had. Our heart definitely wasn’t in that house.
Belle has always been my home, because she is where my heart is, but hearing Riot say it like that makes me realize that this place is starting to feel like home, too.
I’m just not sure which home I belong in anymore.
Chapter Eleven
Wednesday, right before lunch, I turn the corner that leads to the computer lab, intending to spend it with Baz, but a large body is right there and I pull up short. Trey looms over me, his arms crossed.
“Figured you’d be going to see Baz,” he sneers. “Been doing that a lot this week. You must think I’m an idiot not to know what’s going on. You seem to have a hard time following directions, Ever.”