by Anna Premoli
“All right then. This way,” he says, giving me his arm. I accept it without thinking too deeply and we set off along a street full of people.
*
After about fifteen minutes of walking we get to the ice cream parlour. There aren’t that many in Seoul, of course, but you still can find the odd one that is not part of the usual American ice cream chain. I decide to have coffee and dark chocolate, and Mark chooses cream and stracciatella. Hmm, now that I see him with vanilla ice cream, I’d like it too.
“What are you staring at?” he asks me, aware of the appreciative glances that I am giving his ice cream.
“Nothing…” I say innocently.
He hands me his cup. “Go on, have a bit,” he says. I don’t need to be asked twice.
“This is good,” I have to admit as it melts in my mouth. I knew I should have chosen that flavour too…
“Of course it is – I chose it,” Mark points out. This time, without a shadow of a doubt, he’s making fun of me.
“You idiot,” I say, giving him a nudge with my hips.
While holding his ice cream firmly in one hand, he pulls me towards him with the other.
“You’re always so nasty to me…” he whispers into my ear. He has lowered his voice at least an octave whilst delivering this sentence, I hope he realizes.
Even though I know he is playing dirty, I cannot help but feel the shivers running down my spine; the scent of him fills my nostrils, and I feel his breath on my neck. For a moment we remain motionless, unable to break away. As if struck by a bolt from the blue, I realize – in this dimly lit corner of a busy street in Seoul – that there is some remarkable chemistry between us. The physical attraction, judging from the sensations in my body, is very strong.
Oh my God.
OMG.
I move away and carry on walking, eating my ice cream.
Mark, on the other hand, doesn’t move. I can’t hear the sound of his footsteps behind me. When I turn round, what I see is a worried face. I smile as if to say that everything is fine and not to trouble himself about what just happened.
But he surprises me.
“Maddy…”
The way he says my name makes me melt inside.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, walking towards him.
“You’re sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
It meaning the kiss, I presume.
“In total honesty, no, I don’t really want to,” I reply nervously.
He looks at the ground, as though searching for inspiration.
“Then what shall we do?”
“Mark, you don’t like me. I don’t like you. Neither of us has a particularly high opinion of the other…” I remind him.
“But we are attracted to one another,” he proclaims solemnly, interrupting me. I didn’t expect him to say it out loud.
“You know that’s absurd. You’re a logical man. Come on, don’t complicate things,” I plead.
“I know you’re right,” he hisses. “Damn…”
And as he says this he turns round, throws his ice cream into the rubbish bin and walks in the direction of the underground, leaving me standing there alone, still holding my ice cream and totally perplexed. I thought I had said the right thing!
What a waste of a good ice cream – if he didn’t want it, he could have given it to me instead of throwing it away!
Chapter 10
Christmas in Seoul
Between one thing and another, two and a half months have gone by since my arrival in Seoul. They haven’t really flown by but if I’m honest I can’t really say that it’s been boring either, and I consider that in itself a small victory.
Ten whole days to go before Christmas and however much this experience has proven to be less catastrophic than I thought it would be, I’m still beginning to suffer from being away from home. My mother, who in recent weeks I’ve spoken to rather more often than before, never fails to remind me that Christmas is a family holiday and that I have to go home, and I’ve been doing my best not to admit to them that I am dying to be able to set foot on English soil and to hug them all again.
I miss Jane like crazy. I haven’t been able to confide in her about what has happened to me – I’m waiting to talk to her face to face before I do. Of course, we exchange short emails every day, where she tells me all the gossip about our friends, her family, work, work and more work and I entertain her with oddities about Korea and talk about the stuff I’m dealing with in the office. But so far I haven’t told her about Mark. Or at least, nothing beyond his role as my boss, though I don’t honestly know why.
Maybe I wouldn’t really know what to write. Our last few meetings/clashes haven’t ended well, not to mention that I have the impression that he’s trying as hard as he can to keep his distance from me.
And since I’m a woman who understands when she’s not wanted, I’m now going out with Thomas. Not out of spite, though. Absolutely not.
Well, maybe just a little bit out of spite.
I got him to take me to the movies, and dancing, sometimes even out to dinner. But he has never spoken about ‘after dinner’. He has tried to kiss me several times but I’ve always managed to dodge his gestures of affection and after several failed attempts he realized it would be better to avoid having other doors slammed in his face. So now we are friends and I intend to remain so.
“So Maddison, what are you doing for Christmas?” Chul Ju asks as he brings me coffee. This office has almost been converted to real coffee thanks to my benevolent, caffeine-driven influence.
“I would love to go home,” I sigh. “It’s been almost three months since I last saw my family.”
“London must be beautiful,” Seung Hee says.
“Oh, it is, especially at this time of year,” I confirm, as I sip my hot coffee. Which may not be great, but is definitely better than any of the other rubbish you can buy around here.
“Has the boss already signed off your leave?” Asks my colleague.
“No, actually. I was hoping to wait a bit before talking to him about it… maybe until the Christmas spirit takes him,” I joke. The truth is that I have this insane fear that Mark will say ‘no’ just to spite me. I don’t consider him so superior that he wouldn’t do something like that for a small, petty personal vendetta. At least not when it comes down to me.
And at that moment, here he is, coming out of the lift. As they say, speak of the devil…
“Boss,” Chul Ju calls out to him, “Maddison would like to go home for Christmas.”
Mark turns his head and gives me a not exactly reassuring look. It is clear that he assumes that I have asked the guys for help in getting my leave authorized. Well, for once he’s wrong.
“You’re going to let her go on holiday, aren’t you, boss? She hasn’t seen her family for three months…” remarks Seung Hee, which just makes the situation worse. I know she only wants to help, but I fear that it’s going to make my return to London even more complicated.
Mark sighs resignedly. “Hey, listen, I’m not the Grinch, you know? Of course you she go home to her family,” he says.
I let out a sigh of relief.
“I would have preferred her to have asked me herself, though,” he concludes, looking annoyed as he stalks off towards his office.
He’s right, of course… Not that I care to admit it, but I really should have talked to him first. I prevaricated out of mere cowardice as opposed to any other more noble reason. I jump up from my chair and join him in his room.
“Just so you know, that was all their doing. I swear I hadn’t asked them to plead my case with you,” I say, trying to justify myself as I enter his office.
“I know, I know. Don’t waste your breath. How long do you think you’ll be away?” he says in a professional voice, getting straight to the point.
“Well, I would like to leave the day before Christmas Eve and return on January 3rd, if that’s okay,” I whisper. My lack of courage is becoming almost c
hronic.
“Come on, this pleading tone doesn’t suit you. You can go if it’s so important to you,” he mutters. He delivers that last sentence sounding almost offended.
“It’s Christmas, everyone goes to visit their family. I guess you’ll be going to see yours,” I say. I don’t know why I’m trying to justify myself.
“Christmas isn’t a traditional festival in Korea – it was simply imported, along with coffee and hamburgers,” he explains, without even looking at me. I think he’s reading and responding to the millions of emails he receives every day.
“Ah, so the Koreans don’t celebrate it, then? But the city is full of Christmas trees and decorations…” I say, staring at him dubiously, hoping to make him tear his eyes away from his beloved screen.
“They do celebrate it… But it’s a kind of celebration for couples,” he says, finally looking up at me with his magnetic eyes. Maybe it would be better if he’d just carried on ignoring me. We are enveloped by a kind of cloud of embarrassment that does not want to disperse.
“But you and your family are practically American. Surely it ought to be a proper family event for you,” I say, trying to dispel the strange atmosphere that has surrounded us.
Mark lowers his eyes again. Thank goodness. “Unfortunately, my family do celebrate Christmas…” he grumbles, sounding bored. I take it that he isn’t a great lover of the Christmas spirit.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you… was everything ok with your mother after that evening?”
I’m trying to be friendly seeing as it’s Christmas and I’m feeling pretty good myself.
“No,” he says bluntly. I stare at him in amazement. It seems that his mother is a taboo topic, and you can’t get worse than that.
At the sight of the strange expression on my face, Mark realizes he might have sounded a bit too categorical. “But thanks for asking,” he adds, as though that were enough to revive the conversation.
“Okay, okay, I understand when someone doesn’t want to talk. I’ll try not to disturb you any more.” I say, getting up. Really all I’m interested in is that he lets me have the leave, and I seem to have succeeded in that without any problems. So why don’t I feel as exhilarated as I should?
*
I’m going home tomorrow. God, I can hardly wait! If I keep repeating it, I might actually end up believing it.
For once I’ve even packed my suitcase, planning exactly what I’m going to take with me. It seems that I also have a hidden side to me – that of being capable of organising myself. Shocking, I know. No one is more surprised than me.
Tomorrow morning my case will be with me in the office, because my plan is to go straight to the airport without even going home beforehand. I can’t wait!
Today, however, I’m running a bit late, and I hope nobody will notice. But I must be unlucky, because when I get out of the lift everybody is staring at me, with worried looks on their faces.
“What’s up?” I ask them. But I’m not entirely sure it was a good idea to ask the question.
“I don’t know. The boss has been here since dawn apparently. There’s a problem of some kind,” confides Chul Ju, approaching me.
Seung Hee looks terrified, and that’s not a good sign. Before I can ask any other questions, Mark appears at the office door. His sleeves are rolled up and his tie is askew, never mind the fact that he has dark bags under his eyes. Oh God, now that I think about it Seung Hee was right to be scared.
“Where the hell have you been this morning?” yells the angriest man in the world. Saying that he is ‘angry’ isn’t enough.
“I’m only a little bit late…” I stammer.
“In my office, now!” he says, without waiting for a reply.
I follow him like a condemned woman, alerted by a sixth sense that has come back again. It is there, latent, letting me know that things are very serious. As if I hadn’t already realized that for myself…
I sit in the comfortable chair in Mark’s office and wait for him to calm down enough to tell me what the problem is. This takes a few minutes. My heart is beating like crazy.
“Mr Lee has changed his mind about the terms of the restructuring, the quota to be allocated to the private equity fund, on the selection of future managers… in short, everything,” he informs me seriously.
“So it’s back to the drawing board then,” I say. A lot of work for nothing.
“That’s right, only this time the project must be revised and completed by the end of the year.”
“You must be joking… I’m working alone on this!” I start counting the days on the fingers of my hand, “that’s only ten days including today, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year…” The list of all the various festivities that await us. I’m filled with panic at the very suggestion.
“You know what I’m about to say…” Mark tells me, staring at me in an attempt to communicate the message with just a look.
I know already, but I want to him to say it anyway. The truth is that I had already realized when I got out of the lift and saw Seung Hee’s face. I understood everything in an instant.
“Come on, then – say it,” I urge him with a nastiness that I have no intention of hiding.
“You can’t leave right now. You can go home as soon as the matter is settled, but right now it’s just not possible…”
I nod, resigned to the fact. What kind of manager would I be if I abandoned the ship in its hour of need?
“We’ll have to do a lot of work, all through the holidays.”
“Okay,” I say. My mother will have a fit – she has been cooking for me for days. But it is also true that staying here to work is perhaps one of the few excuses that she would accept.
I lower my shoulders and slump back into the chair.
“Come on then, let’s start with the capital fund and tax optimisation of the equity transfer,” I suggest, pulling out all of my professionalism. I take a pen from his desk and a sheet from the ream of paper that’s in front of him. “I’m all ears.”
*
I am exhausted and I’m seriously afraid that my head will fall into the pot. It’s only eight in the evening on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve, when I should have been with my parents and my friends, when I should have been getting ready to go to bed before a day of opening presents and eating divine food. Instead I’ve spent the last three days working like crazy, I haven’t slept, I’ve barely eaten, not to mention the fact that I had to tell my mother the news, expecting an hysterical outburst. For the first time ever she actually seemed genuinely sorry that I couldn’t be there for Christmas. Apparently she’s human too.
I’m at Mark’s, the rest of the team has just left, exhausted, and now all that’s left is the dinner – a Korean one, alas – that Seung Hee prepared for everyone. Tomorrow and the day after the three young people will be spared working during the holiday period, but Mark and I have a lot of things to sort out. To tell the truth we are making good ground and I’m really satisfied with what we have done so far, but the fatigue is threatening to do for me: at this moment in time I couldn’t concentrate even if I wanted to. Between one mouthful and another, Mark is re-reading part of the new presentation when we are interrupted by an insistent knocking at the door.
“Come on Mark, open the door. I know you’re home.” It is the voice of a young man.
Mark gets up from his stool and walks barefoot down the hall – apparently he has immediately recognized the mysterious visitor. He opens the door and moves aside just enough to let in a young Korean man who is rather tall and handsome. The youth stares at me with obvious curiosity.
I must look ghastly. Hard work usually tends to make me look grey, which is why in the past I have always tried not to go over the top with overtime.
“So that’s why you’re not coming home for Christmas,” he says, speaking directly to Mark without preamble.
“Don’t be stupid. The only reason I can’t come home is work,” he replies, looking annoyed. “By the way,
how did you get in?”
“Lucky coincidence: a guy was coming out just as I was about to buzz you. I thought it would be fun to surprise you. So you’re going to hide behind the classic ‘it’s a dirty job but someone has to do it’ line, are you?” the young man says.
Mark doesn’t seem willing to give him an answer. “Maddison, meet my brother Tae Min. Tae Min, this is Maddison, from our London office, as you can see from the blonde streaks. But I didn’t say that she isn’t a natural blonde…” he says, laughing to his brother.
He has revealed my biggest secret just three seconds after introducing me to him? Traitorous scumbag!
“Pleased to meet you, Maddison,” says Tae Min with an amused smile. He’s different from his brother – he seems like a nice person. “I’m sorry Mark, but I’m just following orders. Grandmother clearly said to include her in the invitation as well.”
I stare at them, confused.
“Maddison is the girl from the hotel, right? All Seoul is talking about a mysterious blonde girl who turned up and claimed you for herself during your arranged appointment. What did you expect? Do you know how many blondes there are in this city? You could count them on one hand. You could have at least chosen someone who wouldn’t attract so much attention…” he says, daring to giggle.
“She just saved me from a blind date, that’s all” says Mark.
“Ah, what does it matter? You knew that everyone would talk about it. Mother is still mad at you. She says that if you have a girlfriend you should have told her before making her lose face with certain important people in society. You know she cares only for the good name of our family,” says Tae Min.
“I haven’t got a girlfriend,” Mark says quickly, on the defensive and perhaps too emphatically.
“Well, who cares?” says his brother. “Our grandmother would probably be the only one to believe you, even though she was the one who told me to drag you both back there. If you could have seen mother’s face when she heard her—”
“We have to work,” I interject, suddenly worried by the direction the conversation is taking.
“Exactly,” says Mark.