Chapter Twenty-Five
Eroica was having so much fun that she hardly noticed the days racing by. She had quickly fallen into a routine of practicing a lot, teaching a little, working with the chamber music students at the music camp, and being with Mark. Life was full of excitement for Eroica, a wish that had finally come true for her.
Mark and Eroica were always together—out for bargain burgers and milkshakes, at friends’ wedding receptions, eating dinner with his family, seeing the movies on campus, and going to church activities. Mark had told Eroica that he was going to keep her so busy that she wouldn’t have a chance to become nervous about the piano competition.
Everyone wondered what was taking Mark so long to propose to Eroica. Everyone except Eroica. She was happy to just be best friends with Mark. She had fooled herself into thinking that she wasn’t waiting for the cellist of long ago to enter her life. But deep in her heart she still longed for him. She had come to believe that not watching for the man that she had hoped to marry meant that she was pressing on with her life. She knew that the truth would catch up to her eventually, but as long as it wasn’t this day, then that was okay.
The future went on for everyone else as well. Moving day came for John and AnnaMaria. They had purchased a house in Sandy. It had a big backyard, just what AnnaMaria had wanted. They sold their townhouse to a man who was looking for a good living situation for his recently widowed, seventy-two year old mother. Sister Black was strong and independent, and the first thing she did was plant rose bushes in front of her house. Eroica loved her immediately. And true to Mark’s word, he kept Eroica so busy that she hardly had time to miss her sister.
“They are bringing the piano in and I can’t bear to watch,” AnnaMaria stepped onto the patio in her new backyard. Eroica was watching Charlie, Joshua, and Holly in the backyard while John and Mark and some neighbors hauled boxes and furniture into the house, and AnnaMaria tried to make sense out of the kitchen.
“Don’t worry, Anna,” Eroica tried to reassure her. “John has done this before. He knows what he is doing. He also knows how important this piano is to you, and that he would be hard-pressed to replace it.”
“You’re right. The last thing he wants to do right now after buying a home, is to buy a piano.” AnnaMaria sat down on the blanket that Eroica had spread on the grass for herself and baby Holly. “I am still worried about taking you away from your practicing. If you don’t win the competition, I don’t want it to be my fault.”
“Win!” Eroica cried. “I don’t want to win. That would mean a year of scheduled concerts all over the world. I can’t do that. I’d be a complete wreck after the first concert. I’m no performer. You are the performer, Anna.”
“I must admit, it does sound like fun. But I would never trade my family for it.” She picked up Holly and kissed her chubby cheeks. “I am so happy with my life. I feel so blessed to have a good husband and three wonderful children. And now we have our own home. God has been so good to us.”
AnnaMaria and Eroica sat in silence and watched Charlie and Joshua play on the swing set and slide that were left over from the former owners.
“So, Eroica,” AnnaMaria at length ventured. “Do you and Mark ever talk about getting married?”
Eroica took a deep breath. She knew that AnnaMaria was not going to like her answer. “No. We made an agreement that we would just be friends. Best friends, but that would be all.”
“Why?” AnnaMaria stared at her in amazement.
“I don’t know why. I used to, but everything is so mixed-up now. For a long time I had in mind the type of person that I wanted to marry. And it wasn’t Mark. But I can’t find who I am looking for. He probably doesn’t exist. So now I don’t know what to do. I love being with Mark, but how does anyone ever know who they should marry?”
“Have you tried praying about this?”
“Well, no. I’m afraid of what the answer would be. If I felt that I shouldn’t marry Mark, then I would lose my best friend. If I felt that I should marry him, then what about the person I’ve been looking for?”
“Who are you looking for? What qualities do you want your future husband to have?”
Eroica smiled as she thought back to her memories of the boy she had met at music camp. “He has a quick smile. He has a strong, friendly voice. His testimony is unshakeable. His faith in the gospel can be seen in his eyes. He is patient. And he knows all about me and loves me anyway.”
AnnaMaria watched Eroica as her whole countenance lit up. “You certainly do know what you want in a husband. Do you see any of those things in Mark?”
“Mark?” Eroica was shaken out of her daydream.
“Yes, Mark. He has an infectious smile. He makes people feel good about themselves. I can see that he has a strong testimony of the gospel by the way that he lives and acts. And he knows all about you Eroica, and I think that he is in love with you.”
“Me?”
“Yes you, silly. Don’t be so surprised. You are pretty and talented, and you have a strong testimony of the gospel as well. You and Mark are perfect for each other. Everyone can see that except for you.”
“So what should I do now?”
“You don’t have to do anything. Just think about it, though.”
Eroica was definitely thinking about what AnnaMaria had just said. Could she leave her dream behind and marry Mark? It seemed so easy. So perfect. But what if? There were so many “What if’s,” that Eroica didn’t know what to think.
“I’d better get back inside and see what they have done to the piano,” AnnaMaria said as she stood up. “Eroica, John and I like Mark. We think it would be wonderful if you married him. But we really just want you to be happy.”
“Thanks, Anna. I know that. It sure is nice to have a big sister.”
AnnaMaria leaned down and hugged Eroica before she went in to inspect her piano.
It was a perfect day for a wedding. The sky was clear and piercingly blue. It was a day that every June bride prayed for.
Eroica sat in front of her dressing table and stared back at her reflection in the mirror. She was having a hard time staying focused on the task at hand. Her hair. It was so long and thick. And it was going to be such a hot day. And the wedding reception was going to be held in the Wallace’s backyard.
AnnaMaria was no longer around, so Eroica had to figure this one out on her own. She finally pulled her hair into a bun and anchored it in place with a hand-crafted sliver hair clip. It was a soft, pretty effect, but Eroica felt like a spinsterly piano teacher. It didn’t matter though. She wasn’t the bride, so no one was going to notice her.
Eroica opened her closet and pulled out the pink dress that she had worn on graduation day. She was glad that she had another reason to wear it. She liked it. Plus, Allisun had chosen pink and green for her wedding colors, and Eroica planned to blend into the background.
This was not an easy day for her. Another wedding, and not hers. She had quit wondering if she would be a bride. Mark wanted Eroica to join him at the wedding luncheon for David and Allisun, but Eroica just couldn’t do it. There would be so much Wallace and Miller family there, and who was she? How would she be introduced to people? “This is Mark’s special friend.” “This is the girl that Mark has been seeing.” “This is Mark’s girlfriend.”
Eroica promised Mark that she would come to the wedding reception. That was enough to make her nervous. Because Allisun and David had grown up together, and had lived in the same neighborhood for years, they knew everyone. And Allisun had planned a huge reception—bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, speeches, a program. The whole town was going to be there.
When Eroica arrived at the Wallace’s home, she had to park her car several blocks away. It was as crowded as she had expected. And the Wallace’s yard was immaculate for the occasion. Landscaping was obviously the family business. P
ink and green balloons and streamers were floating in the early evening breeze. People were coming and going. It was a happy sort of chaos.
Eroica stood on the sidewalk in front of their house, not quite sure what to do with herself. Finally, she fell back on the tried and true, and went into the house and into the kitchen. It was easy enough to say that she was a friend of the Wallace family, and had come to help. She immediately found herself washing punch glasses that were whisked away as soon as they were dried.
As she stood at the sink looking out of the windows, she had a perfect view of the whole wedding party. The east side of the house was nothing but windows and french doors. Allisun was so beautiful in her wedding gown. Her whole countenance was flushed with happiness. David looked like the most confident man on earth, now that he had secured Allisun as his bride. And Mark was the best man, so he was stuck there all evening.
Eroica felt as if she were once again in the audience, with Mark on the stage. She was able to see him, but he didn’t know she was there. As Eroica watched him, she thought about AnnaMaria’s comments. If Mark hadn’t made that promise, would he propose to her? Eroica wondered.
Mark looked so handsome. And he was such a good person. AnnaMaria was right. Mark had all the qualities that Eroica was looking for in a husband. As she watched the guests go through the wedding line to kiss the bride and shake hands with the groom, she saw several girls stop to talk with Mark. She wasn’t the only one who saw what a good husband Mark would be. It had taken her so long to realize what all these other girls already knew. And they weren’t going to let Mark remain a bachelor forever.
Eroica could still feel the ache in her heart from thinking that Mark was going to marry Allisun. Too many memories and past experiences flooded into Eroica’s mind. She looked around for an escape from washing dishes, and spotted Daphne coming towards her.
“Eroica, I’m so glad I found you. We need your help.”
In the past several weeks, Eroica had become friends with Daphne and Blythe. They all three liked each other, and Mark and Eroica had taken the girls out with them on a few occasions. Eroica followed Daphne into the front room where Blythe was waiting for them. The two girls looked so darling, one in pale pink, the other in lime green. But their moods did not match their party dresses.
“What’s wrong, Blythe?” Eroica asked as she saw that Blythe was close to tears.
“We learned a Mozart violin duet to surprise Allisun,” Daphne began because Blythe couldn’t speak just then. “We were getting ready to go outside and play it for her. But Blythe accidentally dropped her violin on the floor. It didn’t break, but it got knocked out of tune. And we can’t fix it. And there is no one else around to help us. Can you fix it for us?”
“That was about the only thing I did learn from my string appreciation classes. Every string instrument that I touched I knocked out of tune. Just ask your brother. He’s the one that taught me how to tune a cello.” Eroica picked up the violin, took it to the piano, and started tuning it.
“I am so nervous about playing this duet,” Blythe finally spoke up. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to hold onto my violin.”
“Do you get nervous, too?” Eroica asked. “So do I. One thing I’ve learned though, is to remember why you are performing. You want to make Allisun happy and let her know that you’re glad that she is now your sister-in-law. Right?”
Blythe nodded and blinked back her tears.
“Just remember that, and the music will take care of itself.”
“When you marry Mark, are we going to have to take piano lessons?” Daphne asked apprehensively.
“Who says that I’m going to marry Mark?”
“Aren’t you?”
“We want you to,” Blythe joined in. “We like you.”
“But we don’t want to take piano lessons,” Daphne stated. “Mom is excited that David has married Allisun because now we will always have a violin teacher.”
Eroica laughed as she handed Blythe her violin.
“Let’s not worry about that right now. You two look so pretty. Go outside and wow everyone with your Mozart duet.”
Daphne and Blythe cautiously went outside to let their mother know that they were ready, and Eroica went back into the kitchen. All of the other kitchen help had gone outside to listen to the program. Eroica picked up a dish towel and started drying serving platters. She could hear Daphne and Blythe through the opened windows and doors, so she knew that they were performing well.
“I’ve been watching for you all evening, Eroica Hamilton. I was worried that you weren’t going to come. I should have known that you would be in the kitchen.”
Eroica was so startled that she dropped the platter she was drying, and it crashed all over the floor.
“I sure wish that you would stop sneaking up on me, Mark Henry Wallace,” Eroica shot back at him.
“If you would just marry her, then you would always know where she is,” one of the neighborhood mothers chimed in as she walked through the kitchen and into the backyard. Mark and Eroica both chose to ignore that comment.
“When did you get here?” Mark asked as he swept up bits of glass.
“I don’t know. Maybe an hour ago.”
“And you’ve been helping in the kitchen the whole time?”
“Pretty much.”
“I never meant for you to come to David and Allisun’s wedding reception just so that you could be stuck in here. But now that I’m done with the wedding line, I’m going to make sure that you feel welcomed around so much Wallace family. You don’t have much extended family do you, Eroica?”
“No. My Grandparents are dead. My mother has two sisters that live back east. But when Anna and I joined the Church, they stopped communicating with us. And I have an uncle that is an archaeologist. Anna and I have never met him. My mother says that my father and his brother are a lot alike. They are both odd.
“Uncle Mazer has lived in Egypt for the last thirty years. He never married. The story is that he would have married, but her parents disapproved. Uncle Mazer wanted to take the daughter of a wealthy man off to Egypt, and of course her family strongly objected. I think that she couldn’t have been very much in love with him, if she wouldn’t go with him.”
“Maybe he was wrong to be so uncompromising in his plans to live in Egypt. Maybe he wasn’t very much in love with her, to expect her to raise a family in such a foreign land.”
“I never thought of it that way. Still, I think that she was wrong, only listening to reason, and not following her heart.”
“Would you, in a similar situation, follow your heart? Or would you follow reason?”
“That’s a trick question, Mark, but I have an answer for you anyway. I plan on following my heart to a reasonable person.”
“Not someone like your father?”
“There’s nothing wrong with my father,” Eroica defended. “He is a good man. He has taken very good care of my mother, Anna, and me. Don’t you say anything against him.”
“Eroica, calm down. I’m not saying anything against him. Don’t forget that I like your father, too. I just wanted to point out that marrying someone that others disapprove of, or think odd, doesn’t necessarily mean that you are not thinking clearly. In fact, it may show quite the opposite. You may be making a wise decision in going against what the world terms reasonable. A marriage that is termed a foolish match might turn out to be wonderful.
“Do you remember me telling you about the pioneer that I was named after? His parents died trying to get to the Salt Lake Valley. Mark Henry bounced from wagon to wagon, from family to family, until he made it to the Salt Lake Valley. Once he got here, he had to fend for himself. He boarded with anyone who would take a young boy that was willing to do any kind of labor.
“This was how he grew up. When he was a young man, Brigham Young sent him on a mission to England. The Prophet had trem
endous faith in people. When Mark Henry came back from his mission, he met and fell in love with Emmaline Tanner. She was from a well-to-do family, and she was well-educated. She had taken college classes back east before her family was converted and joined the saints. Mark Henry hadn’t been in a school room since he left for the Salt Lake Valley.
“He and Emmaline actually met in Brigham Young’s home. He was reporting on his mission, and she was doing secretarial work for the Relief Society. When they became engaged, there were some very strong objections. I imagine people told her that she had nothing in common with him, that he wasn’t good enough for her, wasn’t smart enough for her. I don’t know if she followed her head or her heart, but she married him. And now, years later, they have descendents all over Utah and beyond, that are carrying on the traditions of faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
“It’s my opinion that Emmaline Tanner was smart enough to look into his heart, to see what his testimony was founded on, to find out what his faith and goals were.”
“So you think that two people can make a marriage work, regardless of their differences, as long as they both have similar goals and testimonies?”
“And love. That’s important, too.”
“You’re skeptical about love at first sight then, aren’t you?” Eroica challenged.
“No. I think that God can give us feelings of love for someone, even if we don’t know
anything about the person. But what happens after that is also important. Falling in love should be one of the most wonderful, exciting times in a person’s life. But too many people let themselves fall in love and then discover that this really wasn’t what they were looking for, and then there are broken hearts and bitter disappointments.”
“You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you, Mark? Well, so have I.” Then remembering that they were just friends, Eroica cried, “How did we get on to this subject, anyway?”
“Probably because we’re in the middle of a wedding reception.”
“Well, let’s change the subject.”
“Okay,” Mark laughed as he took the dishtowel from Eroica’s hands. “You look so hot from being in the kitchen, and it has started to cool off outside. Are you ready to face all of my relatives who want to know who you are, and why you’re hanging around with me?”
“It can’t be any worse than what’s been going on in here,” she laughed back at him.
Eroica found a table that was shaded by an aspen tree and sat down. The Wallace’s home was up against the foothills, and a canyon breeze was blowing through the backyard. Mark was supposedly getting them some punch and Mormon wedding reception sandwiches, but Eroica watched as his grandmother whisked him away so he could meet another guest. Eroica didn’t mind, though. She knew Mark had responsibilities to fulfill. She was just glad to have a chance to sit down and enjoy the evening.
Peace didn’t last long, though. Three of the girls that Eroica had seen talking with Mark came over and sat at the table next to her. Eroica didn’t want to listen in on their conversation, but they seemed to think that everyone wanted to listen to what they had to say. They were very tall, very thin, and very fashionable. Through the course of their conversation, Eroica learned that the one with dark hair was Stephany, Ashley was the blond, and the redhead was Brandy.
“Brandy, how long are you going to make us hang out here?” asked Stephany. “Brent is not going to show up. Let’s get out of here.”
“We don’t have to meet Nate for almost an hour,” Ashley said. “We can stay for a while longer.”
“Who said I’m waiting around for Brent anyway?” Brandy cried. “I don’t care about him. He can do whatever he wants.”
“Oh sure, Brandy. That’s why you ditched us, so you could hang around with his sister.”
“You even helped her babysit, thinking that you might see him,” Stephany accused her. “And I know how you hate to babysit.”
“Back off,” said Brandy. “I needed some extra money.”
“Sure you did,” Stephany laughed. “Since when did Daddy’s little rich girl need extra money?”
“All right,” Brandy gave in, “I thought he was good-looking for a while. But now I’m done with him. And you’re in no position to talk, Stephany. You’re still stuck on Mark Wallace. And all because he broke up with you.”
“No one has ever broken up with me. I’m the one that calls the shots. I could go out with Mark Wallace again anytime I wanted.”
“So why haven’t you?” Ashley challenged.
“I got bored with him. But he is kind of cute. Maybe I will start dating him again.”
“You can’t,” laughed Brandy. “He is taken. I’m serious. He has a girlfriend that goes to the Deseret Music College. I think she plays the bassoon.”
“How do you know?” Stephany demanded.
“My little sister is best friends with Julia Kenmore, who lives next door to Allisun’s family.”
“Some source.”
“Let’s find out,” Ashley suggested. “Let’s get Mark over here, and you can ask him if he wants to go to the late movie with Nate and us. Let’s see how serious he is with this girl who plays the bassoon.”
“Piano,” cried Brandy. “I remember now. She plays the piano.”
“Piano, bassoon, what’s the difference?” asked Ashley.
“There’s a big difference,” Stephany stated. “I play the piano, too.”
“I don’t know,” continued Brandy. “I hear she’s pretty good. Does concerts, competes, the whole bit. You’re not that good, Stephany.”
“I have an idea,” Ashley teased. “You can ask Mark if he wants to do a piano and cello duet with you. Of course, you would have to play the theme song to Saturday’s Warrior since it’s the only piece you know.”
“You just wait,” Stephany fired back. “I could have Mark Wallace eating out of my hand anytime.”
“Now’s your chance to show us,” Ashley whispered, “’Cause here he comes.”
Eroica watched as all three girls quickly shifted attitudes to accost Mark.
“Hi Ashley, Stephany, Brandy. I see that you’ve already met Eroica.”
They turned to Eroica, who they hadn’t yet glanced at, and within seconds had sized her up and down.
“Eroica,” Mark continued, “My great aunt and uncle are about to leave, and you haven’t yet met them. Aunt Essie really wants to meet you. She feels the need to apologize for not coming to hear you in the piano competition next month. They don’t get out much anymore. I keep telling her that nobody expects her to come, but it would be good of you to reassure her also.”
“Of course I’ll come. I’d love to meet your great aunt and uncle. It was nice to meet you girls,” Eroica said to Ashley, Stephany, and Brandy, as they tried unsuccessfully to compose their surprised face.
As Eroica took Mark’s arm she quietly said, “I think I just witnessed a perfect example of what you were talking about. Those three certainly have a mixed-up idea of what love is. In fact, they were a good example of what love is not. How long was Stephany your girlfriend anyway?”
“My girlfriend?” Mark cried. “What did she tell you? I went out with her twice, and believe me, once was enough. The only reason that I went out with her again was because the first date was a trial for a big party that her parents were giving. I guess I passed the approval test, and I didn’t want to leave her with no date for the party. But that was it.
“Stephany is too light-minded for me. She won’t take the gospel seriously. Her parents have given her everything she has ever wanted. But they can’t give her a testimony. And she doesn’t care to find out the truth on her own. I hope she will, before she makes any seriously foolish decisions. She really is a good girl, but only when she chooses to be.”
Eroica spent the rest of the evening meeting Mark’s relatives and some of Allisun’s as well. It wasn’t nearly as frightening as she ha
d anticipated. In fact, Eroica felt as if she belonged. It reminded her of that same feeling, years ago, when she was at the Deseret Music Camp. She wanted to belong with the Wallaces now. It was a good feeling, but it left her longing.
When the evening had finally wound down, and David and Allisun had torn themselves away, and the balloons and streamers were drooping, Eroica decided that she had better go, too. Nobody wanted the evening to end. It was a perfect wedding day, full of family and friends and good wishes.
Mark and Eroica slowly walked the several blocks to her car. It was a beautiful, star-filled night, and the crickets were happily chirping away. Eroica couldn’t keep herself from imagining what it would be like if she were the bride and Mark were the groom, and they were walking away from their own wedding reception, ready to begin a new life together.
Eroica didn’t want to say goodbye to Mark. She turned to look at him, and he took both of her hands in his. For a long moment they looked at each other, neither one wanting to break the silence. Eroica thought that Mark was going to kiss her, and she finally admitted to herself that she wanted him to. But if he did kiss her, it would change their relationship forever. No longer could they remain just friends.
“Eroica,” Mark finally broke the silence, “I need to tell you something about us. I have been wanting to tell you for a long time.”
Eroica’s face clouded over.
“It isn’t something terrible, is it?”
“No,” he paused. “I don’t want to make you worry, but there is something that you should know, and I still feel that the time is not right. So I need you to trust me. When I do tell you, I want you to remember back to this night and how perfect everything was.”
Mark gathered Eroica into his arms and held her like he would never let her go.
“No matter what happens, Eroica, I will always remember when you and I were best friends.”
“Won’t we always be best friends?”
“I hope so, Eroica. I hope so.” Reluctantly Mark pulled himself away form her. “Will you promise to trust me?”
“I always have, Mark. I always will.”
“Then I guess I’d better let you go. It is past midnight.”
As she drove homeward, Eroica thought about what Mark had said. It was probably good that he hadn’t kissed her. If he had, he would have felt obligated to tell her what he felt needed to be said, and then their relationship would be over.
Still, Eroica wished that Mark had kissed her.
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