David pushed open the barn door and glanced out. Ruth had appeared at the front door with a bundle of books clutched in her arms, headed out for her day’s work at the schoolhouse. He caught up with her at the end of the driveway.
“Why are you still here?” She turned to look accusingly at him.
“What’s wrong with walking my sister part of the way to her schoolhouse?” He forced a grin.
Ruth looked away and held the bundle of books tighter to her chest. “You’ve always gone early up to Phoebe’s these past days. Have you two fallen out?”
“No.” David laughed. “She has things well under control this week. She doesn’t need me at the moment. The woman’s a marvel.”
“You don’t have to tell me that,” Ruth retorted. “She’s a Lapp, and we’re Fishers. Remember that, my darling brother.”
“Why the bitterness this morning?” David kicked a loose stone deeper into the ditch. “And why have you been coming home so late in the evenings?”
“I had a lot of papers to check the other night. Isn’t that what goot schoolteachers do?”
“And last night?”
“Maybe I had a load of work all week.”
“You went out with Ethan, didn’t you?”
“And you’re getting sweet on Phoebe,” she shot back. “Or rather, is Phoebe getting sweet on you? That’s what we’re waiting for, isn’t it?”
David kept his gaze on the road. “So what if she is? Does that mean you have a right to bend the rules to suit your own purposes? The community is giving you a fair chance, Ruth. Why are you tempting fate? If someone—”
“If someone finds out? I know. Always it’s if someone finds out. What if I want both worlds, David? What if Ethan finally has come around right when I’ve been given this…whatever you want to call it…this glorious chance? What if love is the other glorious chance I’ve been waiting for? The man loves me, David. Finally!”
“And how do you know that? Because he took you out for a night on the town until after twelve o’clock? What’s wrong with you, Ruth? If Mamm and Daett weren’t so wrapped up in their own worlds, they would have noticed when you came in.”
She gave him an accusing look. “The stairs didn’t squeak once. Don’t tell me you hear that well.”
“I was up…”
She searched his face. “I know you, David. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Everything’s right, in fact. It’s just that…”
“David, tell me!” Her voice was sharp.
“I’m not begging, Ruth. You have to live your own life. I’ve always let you do that.”
She whistled in the still morning air. “So you think you have a chance at Phoebe Lapp? Is that it? And you don’t want me messing things up?”
“It’s more than a chance, Ruth.” He lowered his voice. “And I didn’t try. I just followed…whatever. I don’t need to explain things to you, but yah, you could make plenty of trouble for me if it’s found out that you’re seeing Ethan on the sly. Especially since you are the community’s schoolteacher and plan to join the baptismal class in a few weeks.”
“So we have a few weeks,” she chirped. “Don’t get all huffy, David. I’m very careful.”
“That’s what they all say. And they all are found out.”
She sighed. “The Fishers always get caught. That’s for sure.”
“You don’t have to let this bitterness rule your life. There is another way. Grandma Lapp is giving us this chance. Daett’s way isn’t the right way.”
“And you think there’s love for me in the community? I don’t see a handsome young man knocking at my door.”
“Is that why you’re flirting with Ethan?”
“No! It’s because I love him, and I’ve worked long and hard to get this attention. Now I have it.”
“By slipping away with him while taking on the teaching job and planning to join the community?”
She laughed. “You are perceptive, dearest brother. Nothing else worked.”
“You shouldn’t do this, Ruth. Nothing goot will come out of it.”
“Says the man who’s making a play for the Lapps’ daughter.”
“It’s not what you think, but you and I are not going there today.”
“Do you really think she’s going to stick with you?” Her gaze was piercing. “Everything is going well at the moment. The sun’s shining and all that. You must have really impressed her, but then the rain clouds will gather and the sun will go behind the clouds. Then Miss Lapp will be gone. Don’t you think that’s what will happen once her family catches on? Can you really imagine Phoebe Lapp standing in front of Bishop Rufus and saying the wedding vows with you? Come on. You know better.”
He shuffled along. Ruth’s words stung. He had thought them himself only weeks ago, before Phoebe had been in his arms and the glow on her face had drawn so close to his.
“Maybe things will be different.”
Her laugh was bitter. “We will always be Leroy Fisher’s children, David. Let’s get that straight.”
The road forked ahead, and he didn’t speak until they reached the point of parting. “I think Phoebe has a true heart.”
Ruth shrugged. “And so does Ethan. So we’re even on that point. And thanks for not spilling my secret. You always were a dear brother.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek before she whirled about and hurried off with her books in both arms.
He waited until she vanished around the bend. We will always be Leroy Fisher’s children. Ruth’s words were a flame that consumed beautiful things, and it burned brightly right now. But could the bitterness she carried erase what Phoebe had given him? The love, the admiration in her eyes, the nearness of their hearts at Phoebe’s kitchen table. Never had a woman given him anything like that. Could he help it that Phoebe was a Lapp? She drew deep things from his heart. Things he hadn’t known were there.
David quickened his steps. He must trust in the Lord, who had led him this far, and in Grandma Lapp’s dream. Hadn’t that been where all this started—Grandma Lapp’s faith in him, which had born fruit in her granddaughter’s heart?
David straightened his shoulders. Ruth might say harsh words, but he knew her heart was tender. He would pray for her to see the light of day before she did irreparable damage to herself and the rest of the family. Jumping the fence into Ethan’s arms would benefit no one—Ruth, the least of all.
David whispered a quick prayer as he turned his feet into Grandma Lapp’s driveway. “Lord, help us.”
A hand waved at the kitchen window before he was halfway to the barn, and he caught a glimpse of Phoebe’s smiling face. Moments later the front door burst open, and she ran across the yard toward him to pause breathless a few feet from him.
“David! You’re late. I was expecting you for breakfast.”
“I…we…” he sputtered. “I didn’t think.” He gave up amid the light of her sweet smile.
She took his hand. “But you did have breakfast. Surely.”
He managed a laugh. “Mamm fed us as usual. I—”
She tugged on his hand. “We haven’t had devotions yet. I know we can’t preach to people, but having devotions is a normal Amish activity, and Melissa needs all the godly input she can get. She’ll only be here until Friday, when she will be separated from her family again. You’ll read a chapter and pray with us, won’t you?”
He gave in. What else could he do? The admiration and happiness in her face filled him with the greatest joy. Their kiss had opened doors behind which lay things he hadn’t even imagined.
He attempted a protest once they reached the front porch. “You can lead out in devotions when there are only women present. I can wait in the barn.”
“I know you can.” She smiled and squeezed his hand. “I’ll do that for the rest of the week if you don’t show up early enough. But this morning you’ll be with us, won’t you?”
He continued on as an answer and entered the living room right behind her. Melissa was alre
ady seated on the couch with all three girls around her. The youngest, Bella, had her head in Melissa’s lap. They had waited for him. A lump formed in his throat. He swallowed, but it wouldn’t leave.
“Good morning, David,” Melissa greeted him. “Phoebe said you would be up before long. I’m looking forward to this Amish tradition of devotions after breakfast.”
David forced a smile and seated himself. No words would come out at present, but they would have to soon. Phoebe handed him the Bible and sat beside him on a chair.
“You can read whatever you wish,” Phoebe told him after a few moments of silence.
He nodded and turned the pages. The rustle of the paper calmed him, but it was the quick touch of her hand on his arm that loosened his throat. He scanned the words in front of him for a passage that would do—something safe, something familiar to all of them, but especially to Melissa. Surely she had heard the familiar passage somewhere in her life.
David began to read, “‘The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures…’” When he finished, Melissa had a smile on her face.
“That was sweet,” she said. “My grandmother used to take us children to church years ago.” Her face became dreamy. “We were just little girls then, my cousins and I.” Slowly sorrow formed on Melissa’s face as she stroked her daughter’s head. “But that was a long time ago, and now is now.”
Phoebe’s hand found his, and a lump formed in David’s throat. He forced the words out. “We should pray.”
Phoebe smiled and nodded. David prepared to kneel, but the sound of buggy wheels in the driveway stopped him.
Phoebe bounced up to look out of the living room window. “It’s Aunt Millie come for a visit!”
David’s legs propelled him out of his chair. “I should get to the chores in the barn.”
There was no way Phoebe’s aunt would catch him leading morning devotions. The action had seemed right when there was only Phoebe and him present, but Aunt Millie would see things differently. And if she found out he had kissed her niece yesterday…
David fled the house and ran past the surprised aunt, who had tied her horse to the hitching post.
She stopped him short. “What are you doing in the house at this time of the morning?”
“Can I unhitch your horse?” He lunged at the tugs.
“Thank you for the offer, but I’m not staying that long.” Aunt Millie glanced meaningfully toward the front door.
Explanations were useless, and she would find out soon enough that Melissa and her daughters were inside.
“I’ll be going then,” he said. “There are the chores to do.”
Let her think him a bumbling fool. Wasn’t that how a Fisher was supposed to act? David’s face burned as he turned and hurried on toward the barn. He heard Aunt Millie’s exasperated snort behind him, but he didn’t look back.
David rushed about with the chores, heedless of the flying straw or the heaviness of the manure he forked into the wheelbarrow from the horse stalls. Time passed in a blur until Aunt Millie’s buggy went down the driveway again. He kept on working, his arms aching from the strain as the fork rose and fell.
The barn door opened behind him on a creaky hinge, and a shaft of light filled the dusty interior.
“David?” Phoebe called.
He didn’t answer but continued to work.
“David?” she repeated. She came closer until she stood in front of him. “You shouldn’t have run. There was nothing to be ashamed of. Aunt Millie would have joined in with the prayer.”
He hung his head and didn’t protest.
“David.” Her fingers touched his arm. “Please don’t act like this. You don’t have to.”
He lifted his gaze and met hers. The truth was written there. He had to believe Phoebe was right.
She spoke as if she had read his thoughts. “I know you can do this.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left.”
“Promise me you’ll come earlier tomorrow morning and lead out again—even if Aunt Millie or Uncle Homer visits?” She searched his face.
The lump was back, but he swallowed hard and let the words out. “I will if you want me to.”
“David, you know I do.”
“Then I will.” He took both of her hands in his. “Thank you.”
She smiled, her fingers tight in his. “I should be going. We have a full day ahead of us with Melissa in the house. Aunt Millie is coming back later to help bake pies and to make sure we are behaving ourselves, I think.” Phoebe giggled. “What did you say to her that got her all in a tizzy?”
He hung his head. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better next time.”
“Hush.” She touched his lips with a finger. “It’s not all your fault. I know that.”
“I wasn’t going to say that,” he protested.
“I’ll see you later when we come out to ride the horses for the first time. I’ll need your help.”
He nodded, but she had already turned and hurried off. He watched her leave until she passed the barn door and stepped out into the full blaze of the morning sunlight.
TWENTY-FOUR
Ruth paused in her brisk walk home from the schoolhouse on Friday evening. The sun hung low in the sky, and darkness was only an hour away. A buggy appeared, its horse stepping high as the rig trotted toward her. Ruth waited and waved as Emil Yoder passed. His beard was parted by the late evening breeze. Emil smiled and nodded, and his hands clutched the reins of his frisky horse.
The Yoder family had yet to notice her capers with Ethan, but David’s words lingered in her ears. That’s what they all say. And they all are found out. David wouldn’t spill her secrets, but neither did he approve. She had been foolish to think he would. No one approved of how she was sneaking about—not even Ethan. He had frowned on Tuesday evening when she instructed him to pick her up on the road home from the schoolhouse for their next date.
Yet he had agreed. He wanted to meet her. She finally had his attention, though she couldn’t help but wonder if the secrecy routine was part of her allure even though Ethan denied it. Men were like that. They didn’t always know why they did things. If she broke faith with the community and jumped the fence, would Ethan return to his blasé disinterest in her? The question was a valid one. Why couldn’t he have given her the attention she wanted when she had been available to him?
Ruth sighed and resumed her walk. There was no use wrestling with the matter. She wanted to see him, and he would pick her up in a few minutes. She might as well enjoy the evening and see where things went from there. If she backed away from the relationship, she would always regret the missed opportunity to know for sure.
In the meantime, she thought about her bitter words to David. They were true, even if he didn’t think so. Or perhaps he thought things could change for them in the community. David was optimistic—but of course he was. He had Phoebe’s friendship to help him along, and his shyness stood him in goot stead in the community…the same community who saw her display of strength as rebellion.
Knowing this, she had accepted the schoolteaching job with humility and grace, but maybe that was what rankled. She didn’t want such obvious charity. She wanted acceptance on her own terms, which included Ethan, and he could never be a part of the community. What a mess she had gotten herself into. But what was new about that? Life had always been a mess at the Fisher household. She had yet to succeed at anything.
Ruth jerked her head up as a pickup came over the horizon from Little Falls. She stepped off the road a few feet and waited. With her luck, Emil would choose to drive past again and catch her red-handed as she hopped into Ethan’s pickup. Thankfully, there was no sound of horse’s hooves on the pavement behind her as Ethan slowed and she climbed inside.
“Hi.” She fastened her seat belt as he took off.
“Sorry I’m late. I had to pick up the children from the Lapp farm at the last moment. Mrs. Broman had a medical emergency.”
> “Anything serious?”
Ethan shook his head. “Her youngest boy had a toothache, but they made it to the dentist’s office before the weekend.” He chuckled. “I can’t imagine living with Kaleen while he’s suffering an abscessed tooth—even with an ice pack and Tylenol.”
“Don’t you like children?”
Before he answered, another buggy appeared in the distance, and Ruth ducked her head until it had passed.
“Still hiding?” he asked. He didn’t sound pleased.
“Isn’t that part of the mystery?” she shot back.
“Feisty tonight, are we?”
Ruth forced a smile. “Sorry. I’m touchy right now, that’s all.”
“We can do this some other time, if you wish,” he offered. “I’m available most nights next week.”
“Tonight’s fine.” Her answer was terse.
“You sure?”
“Yah, I want to be with you, Ethan. This evening!” She paused. “Well, I just like being with you.”
His smile seemed genuine. “That’s a compliment. Thanks. So…shall we try for the steakhouse in Utica? We haven’t been there in a while, and I could use a hearty meal.”
“Okay,” she agreed at once. “Did you have a difficult week?”
“Not really. Stressful today, that’s all. Just that everything landed on my lap this afternoon with the family at your brother’s farm.”
“You mean Phoebe Lapp’s farm.”
He shrugged. “Correct.”
“What happened?” She sat forward on her seat as they drove through Little Falls.
“Looks like things could get a little interesting,” he said. “Much more than we expected. I haven’t told Mrs. Broman yet, but the mother showed up and stayed there for most of the week. No one reported in to us—which will not happen again. I told your brother and Phoebe so in no uncertain terms. We have to know those details. The strange thing is that everything went well. The mother—Melissa is her name—seemed to enjoy her time at the farm. In fact, she enjoyed it immensely, and she wants to take full custody of the three girls again, which is against policy. When I told her it would take some time, she eventually accepted after a fit of temper. Such people don’t take well to instructions or restraints, to say the least.”
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