by Bella Emy
Josh places a hand on my shoulder. “Thanks, li’l bro. Sometimes there aren’t any words you can say to make things better. You just have to be there for someone, and that’s what I’m going to do for Courtney. I’m going to be there for her.”
I nod. “You’re a great friend to her. She’s lucky to have you.”
He smiles. “And I’m lucky to have you as my brother.”
We’re silent for a few moments before he finally stands to go get his duffel bag out of the closet.
“I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I’ll call Mom on my way to Court’s. Probably in four or five days? I want to be there for her every step of the way. She’s going to need me.”
I can’t even imagine what this must be like for her and, now, my brother. Yet I know exactly what it’s like to lose someone too soon. Memories of Alyse slam into the front of my mind’s eyes faster than a speeding bullet. Tears form in my eyes.
I shake my head and try to think of anything but the past. It’s too painful, so I go ahead and say the stupidest thing I can think of at the moment. “I guess you guys are skipping the concert.”
Josh turns around to face me with furrowed brows. “Of course, man. This is way more important. You take the tickets. See about inviting some more of your friends.”
“Are you sure?” I feel wrong. We’ve all known Courtney and her family for the longest time. How is it cool for us to party and have a good time when they’re dealing with something like this?
“Of course. You can come to the wake and even the funeral if you’d like to pay your respects, but those won’t be for a few days to a week even. There are a lot of arrangements that need to be taken care of. Plus, I don’t think it’s a good idea for a lot of people to bombard them right now, you know? You remember how it was.”
Again the past comes barging back to me. I shake my head. “Yeah, I do.”
He nods his head and then quickly turns back to his task at hand and continues packing.
***
Half an hour later, I arrive at Cory’s house. He only lives two blocks over, but I wanted to make sure Josh was fine before leaving. He was, thankfully. My brother has always been strong when it comes to difficult times like these—more than I ever have.
“Hey, man. What’s up?” Cory says, opening the door for me.
I look over his shoulder and see Harleigh and her friend, Aubrey, sitting at the table looking at some magazine. I don’t say anything to them, just wave. They wave back. Aubrey turns her head away from me, but Harleigh still gazes at me. I don’t want to break this moment, but I know if I stare for much longer, it’ll be weird. Then I notice Aubrey nudge Harleigh gently on the arm, and her eyes finally leave mine. It hurts.
“Dude?” Cory asks, bringing my attention back to him.
I shake my head. “Hey, Cor. May I come in?”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. Moving out of the way, he says, “Of course, man. Come in. Are you all right? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Pretty much.
In my peripheral view, I notice Harleigh’s gaze is back on me.
I make my way into their home and spew out nonsense. “Yeah. No. Yeah. I mean, not really.”
“Sit, dude.” Cory motions at the black leather couch in their living room.
“Thanks.” I take a seat, and Cory sits across from me.
“What’s going on, man? You were fine when I spoke to you about an hour ago.”
I look up at him, and my eyes are still threatening to release the sorrow I feel. Of course I’m sad about Courtney’s dad, but the main reason behind me feeling this way is Alyse; she had been so small.
“Josh came home not too long ago. He said Courtney called him on his way to work to see if he’d come over. There was an accident on the oil rig where her father works… He didn’t make it.”
Gasps fill the room, causing me to snap my head toward where Harleigh is sitting. Her small hands with her manicured fingernails cover her mouth. Aubrey’s face is as white as rice. I bring my attention back to Cory, and his expression is no better.
“Oh, no. Dude. I’m so sorry. How is your brother holding up?” Cory knows my brother has a thing for Courtney. Hell, I think the whole world knows except the two of them.
“He’s tough… hanging in there for Court.”
Cory nods. “You okay?”
Now I’m the one nodding. I raise a hand in confirmation. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I’ll be going to the wake once they have it set. Maybe even the funeral.”
“No problem, I’ll go with you,” Cory says.
“We want to be there too,” Aubrey says. I look at Harleigh and see her tear-filled eyes. She looks so beautiful, even when she’s upset. She didn’t know Courtney or her family very well, but that’s the kind of person Harleigh is. She would probably cry if she accidentally stepped on an ant.
“That’s just awful.” The sound of Harleigh’s sweet voice ignites something inside me, even at the worst of times.
“Thanks, girls. I have something for you two,” I say and face Cory once more.
Cory looks at me with a questioning stare.
“Look. They’re obviously not going to go to the concert tomorrow night. Josh wants me to take the tickets. I figured the four of us could go together,” I say.
As the words leave my mouth, I look at Harleigh, whose eyes are wide.
Aubrey’s mouth forms an O. “You mean the Silent Ambiance concert… tomorrow night?”
I nod. “If it’s all right with you, man?” I ask Cory.
Cory turns around to face the girls. “I don’t know. Do you girls even want to—”
“Yes!” Harleigh and Aubrey shout in unison.
Cory and I both break out in laughter.
“I mean, we’d love to go, but damn this feels wrong,” Aubrey says.
“I know what you mean, but it’s no one’s fault. It was a terrible accident. It’s okay for us to go and see the band. We’ll go pay our respects once it’s time. We can’t go crowding the family now. This is the worst time for them.”
Cory nods in agreement. “Yeah, I understand that.”
Does he? He’s never been through something like this before that I know of, and for a second, a pang of jealousy pulls at my heart. How I wish I could be in his shoes right now, not knowing what losing a family member is like.
I push my thoughts elsewhere. This isn’t the time or the place.
I nod. “At least some happiness came out of such a terrible situation. But look, I’d better go.” I rise from my seat, and Cory walks me to the door.
“Thanks, man. I think you really made their night,” he says.
I look over at where the girls are sitting, smiles painted on their faces.
“I’m glad,” I say to him, then to them, I call, “Bye, Aubrey. See you tomorrow, Harleigh.”
CHAPTER SIX
Harleigh
“See, Aub. He’s not that much of a dick if he gave us tickets!” I announce as I’m standing in front of the mirror in my room, carefully applying my lipstick. This shade of red always makes me feel older. I love it.
“He probably did it ’cause it’s last minute and he couldn’t find any helpless victims.”
I roll my eyes and stop applying my makeup. I turn around to see Aubrey on my bed, waiting for me to finish up. She’s been ready to go since we got back from picking up her cousin, Luis, at the airport.
“What?” she says, holding up both hands in the air.
I raise an eyebrow. “Preston Scott? Not able to find anyone to go with him to the Silent Ambiance concert tonight? You’re joking, right?” I don’t know what her thing is about Preston.
She lets out a breath. “Fine! Okay, so he’s being nice to us. Whatever.”
I chuckle at her realization of defeat. “You sure Luis isn’t going to be pissed we ditched him for the concert?”
I can’t lie. I feel guilty as hell for ditching her cousin.
“Harls, would you chill? I told you already.
If the tables were turned, he’d do the same thing in a heartbeat. My cousin is cool. He totally understands. Plus, we went to pick him up at the airport like we were supposed to. He’s going to spend some time with my mother for tonight, do a sort of auntie-nephewie bonding.”
I giggle at her choice of words.
“We can hang out with him tomorrow night. This concert is tonight only, probably our once-in-a-lifetime type of opportunity to attend. We have to go, and he understands that.”
“Fine.”
“Your parents aren’t home yet?” she asks. Usually they’d be here by now, especially on a Friday night.
“Nope. Get this: they went car shopping! My dad is finally going to let go of that P-O-S he loves so much.”
Her eyebrows go up. “Seriously?” Anyone who knows my father knows how attached he’s been to his Chevy.
I nod but then let out a breath. “Yeah, but you know he’s not really going to take it to the junk yard. He’s going to keep it in his garage.”
“Ah, makes sense.” She chuckles.
“But hey, at least we’re finally getting a new ride. Now when Cory doesn’t feel like driving us to the mall, we don’t have to be embarrassed about getting a ride from one of my parents in that old piece of tin.” We both break out in laughter again.
“You ladies ready to go?” Cory announces from the door. Had it been locked, he would have knocked. We have always respected one another’s privacy.
“Yep. We’re ready!” I say, grabbing my small, black, over-the-shoulder purse.
Cory smiles at me. “Great. Then let’s get going so we’re not late. We still have to stop by Preston’s to pick him up.”
My stomach does somersaults at the mention of his name. How could a guy have so much power over me? Let alone a guy who, with his full-blown arrogance, gets under my skin?
But oh, he’s so freaking sexy. Damn, Preston!
I just don’t get how he has this effect over me if our hands haven’t even touched or anything.
Preston drives and has his own car too. Of course he does. But we are going to pick him up so we can all go together.
As Cory leaves the room, Aubrey nudges me on the arm. “Well, this should be interesting.”
I chuckle quietly and roll my eyes at her.
***
I purposely sit in the back seat next to Aubrey as Cory drives the two-minute drive to Preston’s house. To say that the butterflies in my stomach aren’t fluttering around aimlessly is a damn lie.
My palms feel like a swamp. My heart can’t stop beating at the incredulous speed it’s going, as if it’s racing for its life.
I realize I’m crazy about Preston Scott. The way he consumes my mind is pretty sickening. It’s like all I think about is him—that or anything revolving around him.
We arrive at his house, and Cory slams his palm against the steering wheel to beep the horn. Less than five minutes later, Preston comes out, walking like he owns the streets. His casual demeanor makes me want to lick my lips. He’s practically oozing sexiness in his black leather jacket, slicked-back hair, and blue jeans.
As he gets into the car, with his seriously panty-dropping scent—that cologne he wears overpowers Cory’s Cool Rain air freshener and makes me completely crazy—I almost lose it.
“Cor, thanks, man,” he says as he drops into the passenger seat. He turns to face us. “Hi, ladies.”
Of course, I’m sitting directly behind my brother so Preston and I lock eyes.
And that’s all it takes.
I’m lost, floating on cloud nine.
Fuck me.
“Hey, Preston,” Aubrey says, and once again, she nudges me discreetly on the arm, bringing me out of my daydream.
He flashes us another killer smile and turns back around to face forward.
If this is at all how tonight’s going to go, I’m royally fucked.
“Everybody ready?” Cory asks as he puts his blinker on, getting ready to pull onto the main road.
“Yes!” Aubrey and I shout in unison.
***
The Silent Ambiance concert is just as wild and crazy as we expected. The music is loud, the crowd is bumping, and the fireworks and special effects turned out from each corner of the arena.
I’m standing between Aubrey and Cory—Preston is to his left—but I manage to sneak a few glances at my crush every so often. Undoubtedly, each time I do, his eyes are glued to me. A sudden rush of euphoria overcomes me every time I look at him.
When Silent Ambiance’s lead singer, Zach Mendel, begins singing their most popular tune—an acoustic version of the heavy metal song “Without a Doubt”—every fan in the audience, including my brother, Preston, Aubrey, and me, sings along. We sway back and forth as the lyrics take hold of us, and there’s nothing else in the world that matters at this moment.
I’m singing at the top of my lungs, and as I look to my left, Preston smiles at me through the words and then winks.
God, he’s going to make me go crazy before this night is over.
As the song comes to an end, we cheer and applaud as the band bows and takes it all in. We’re not in the front row, but we’re close enough that we can just make out their sweaty facial features.
“Oh, my God! Did you see that? Did you see that?!” Aubrey pulls at the sleeve of my shirt. Her face is practically beet red.
“See what?” I chuckle as I turn to face her.
“Oh my God, you missed it, Harls?! Where the hell is your mind at? Zach totally looked this way! He totally saw us and waved. At. Us!”
She’s freaking out. She’s had a serious crush on Zach Mendel for as long as I can remember.
I laugh again. “Oh, really? That’s awesome.”
She rolls her eyes at me and leans in closer to whisper into my ear. “You were too busy paying attention to Preston, weren’t you?”
I shrug. “Sorry, girl.”
She laughs. “Fuck it. Enjoy yourself. If you want to look at Preston, look at Preston. Just don’t be pissed if he picks up some random chick on the way home.” She looks about the place, and my eyes follow hers. All around us are girls dressed in the sluttiest outfits of all time, outfits that could be pieced together. Cleavage from the right, short skirts barely covering hoo-has from the left… This place is a definite sex pit.
Dammit, she’s right. How is Preston not going to want to leave with someone else? He’ll surely find some girls he’ll want to talk to—or do more with, obviously—before we leave here.
Preston and Aubrey are supposed to be sleeping over. Their parents knew they’d be here with us late tonight, so they said it would be all right if they slept over. But what if he doesn’t come home with us after all?
I swallow hard and give my best friend a good look in the eyes. She knows exactly what I’m trying to say: He’s totally out of my league and I’m a fool for wanting him so badly.
“His loss, Harls. You’re a great girl.” She throws her arms around me, and instinctively, I hug her back.
Before we pull away, we hear Andrew Johns, the bass guitarist, announce that they’re going to be performing the final song of the night. The strumming of his guitar and the banging of drums by Liam Parker start sounding from the stage in an all-too familiar song.
Aubrey and I finally pull apart and look at one another with the biggest smiles on our faces. “Crimson Tears!” We shout the name of the hit song the band is going to play as their last song.
We clap our hands and move our bodies to the sound of the music. I refuse to look at Preston any longer. I’m just going to try my best to enjoy this one final song.
I can’t help myself. From the corner of my eye, I see him and Cory clapping right along with us, enjoying the end of the concert as well.
***
We make it to the house at just past one in the morning. My parents already went off to bed. They’ve never worried whenever I’ve gone out with Cory.
Somehow, Preston didn’t wander off with any of the sleaz
y chicks from the concert or from the diner we stopped at afterward to grab a bite. He got all the looks, and he gave some back, but he managed to stay with our group.
Now the four of us are hanging out in our living room, watching some random horror flick. At this time of year, with Halloween being right around the corner, that’s all that’s on TV. Thankfully, I don’t mind it. I love a good old scare. This one playing looks like a Freddy Krueger classic. I just can’t remember if this is part four, The Dream Master, or part five, The Dream Child.
It doesn’t matter. I can’t concentrate. I don’t really know how it happened, but I got stuck between Aubrey to my left and Preston to my right.
Can you say holy mother of God? Sweet, sweet baby Jesus? Shoot, any religious expression will work right about now, including fuck yes!
Aubrey is about to pass out. She’s slouched over to the opposite side. Her eyes look so small, like tiny beads. Cory is on the opposite side of Preston. His half-closed lids let me know he’s getting pretty tired too.
Me on the other hand? I’m super wide awake. I feel totally wired right now. I don’t know if it’s still from the rush of the concert or if it’s just the cup of coffee I ordered with my muffin when we stopped at the diner.
One thing I know for sure is that sitting here, right next to Preston Scott, with him being a mere lousy six inches away from me, is making me high. He still smells so good. Fuck, how can he still smell like this after a whole night at a concert? The nicotine and marijuana fumes filled the air like a damn hot air balloon. Not to mention all the alcohol that was going around. No, we didn’t drink, but surely some spilled on each of us at some point in the night.
“Damn, I forgot her brother dies in this one. You guys want something from the kitchen? I think I’m going to make a grilled cheese,” Cory says as the movie goes to a commercial.
“But you had pancakes at the diner,” I say. “Never mind. Your hunger is insatiable.”
Preston chuckles. “I’m good. Thanks, man.”
Cory shrugs, then nods. “I’ll be right back.”
“You know you’re not supposed to say that when you’re watching a horror movie,” Preston replies.
I giggle at his Scream reference.