Rafe had only been five years old when his little sister Darci died from an untreatable heart disease. Born three years after him, she’d been a fragile little thing with a mop of russet-colored curls and big green eyes. Even to this day, Rafe could remember her giggles and how she would hold tightly on to his hand, and cry if she didn’t get chocolate milk for breakfast.
He’d adored Darci and losing her had both confused and scared him. For months after her death, Rafe had been terrified that his brothers might leave him in the same way and he’d wanted to cling to his mother for a sense of security. He’d been too young to understand that she’d also been dealing with her own sorrow.
Thankfully, the passing years had dimmed his grief and as he’d grown into a man, he’d lost the incessant fear of losing another family member. Tragedy had struck the Calhoun family once; he couldn’t imagine it striking a second time. Then an accident had taken his mother and suddenly the direction of everything he’d ever wanted in life took a drastic change.
Rafe had watched the light of happiness disappear from his father’s eyes and the only home Rafe had ever known had taken on a chill that, to this day, was still present.
From that point on, Rafe had decided he’d never have a family of his own and that decision hadn’t changed. No. Rafe didn’t want that for himself. There were plenty of men out there who’d make a fine husband for Lilly, who’d be willing to take on the risks and responsibilities of having a family. But damn it, the thought of her with another man made make him sick.
Shutting his mind from those thoughts, Rafe took a closer glance at the phone and spotted a voice mail notification. Could it be from Lilly? He punched the symbol, then lifted the phone to his ear.
“Hi, Rafe. It’s Lilly. I hope you don’t mind that I got your number from Bart. I was just calling to say—well, I want to apologize for my behavior the other night. That wasn’t really me. And I was rough on you for all the wrong reasons. I did have a nice time. And the kiss was—nice, too.”
The message ended without a “goodbye” or “call me,” but it was enough to make Rafe jump straight to his feet and start jamming the tails of his shirt into his jeans.
Cold one minute and hot the next. Rafe didn’t know which one was the real Lilly Lockett. But he was damned sure going to find out.
* * *
Shortly after eight o’clock that night, Lilly and Marcella ended their shift and were leaving the building together. On the way to the parking lot, Marcella was still voicing her concerns over a small boy they had treated for an asthma attack.
“Lilly, I’m telling you I think social services needs to visit that boy’s home. Something just doesn’t feel right about the whole situation. He looks half-starved. And this is the second time he’s been treated in the past two weeks. I don’t think his parents are even bothering to feed him, much less see that he takes his medication.”
“Someone bothered enough to bring him to the hospital,” Lilly pointed out.
“A grandfather—I think. And he looked too feeble to care for himself. I’m surprised he managed to drive the child here to emergency. Oh, God, Lilly, he’s my Harry’s age. And I just want to take him in my arms and carry him home with me.”
Lilly patted her friend’s shoulder. “Marcella, don’t worry. We’ll go to Doctor Malloy and explain our fears about the child to him. He’ll contact the right people.”
Her friend nodded somberly. “You’re right. If we don’t go through the proper channels, getting the boy some real help might backfire. I’m going home and try not to think about it tonight.”
Lilly gave her a weary smile. “Good. Give Harry a kiss and be thankful you have him.”
“I will. Good night,” Marcella told her, then broke away to go to her car that was parked at the other end of the parking area.
After waving her friend off, Lilly fished the car keys from the tote bag she was carrying and pushed the button to unlock the doors. She was about to climb beneath the steering wheel when a male voice sounded directly behind her, causing her to jump with fright.
With a hand clutched to her chest, she whirled around to see Rafe standing a few steps away. He was dressed all in denim and a black hat shaded his face from what little light there was from the streetlamps, but she could see enough of his features to tell there was a faint grin on his face.
“Rafe! What are you doing here?”
He moved closer. “Waiting on you to get off work. I asked at the nurses’ desk to speak with you, but a nurse there told me you were busy changing shifts and that you’d be out shortly.”
She let out a long, pent-up breath. “I—well, you certainly surprised me. Is anything wrong with Bart? He seemed fine this morning.”
Shaking his head, he took another step toward her. “Gramps is fine. I just found your voice mail earlier this evening. My men and I have been working out on the far west range for the past two days. My phone lost its charge.”
“Oh. I had decided you didn’t want to talk to me.”
He continued to study her closely. “The other night before I left your house, you implied that I was wasting my time with you. Am I?”
Reaching up, she pulled a pin from her coiled hair and shook it free. “I honestly don’t know, Rafe. The other night—I was—well, I rarely date. You see, I made a mistake in trusting a man once and since then I’m afraid I see most of you as predators. That’s wrong of me, I know. But I can’t get past it.”
He was close enough now for her to see his features soften and a look of understanding flicker in his eyes.
“Lilly.”
As he spoke her name his hands reached out to cradle her face, and his touch was like a ray of sunlight bathing every cell in her body with delicious heat.
“I’m not going to pretend that I’m the perfect guy for you. Or that I’m even a good guy. I only know that when I’m with you everything feels different. I feel different. Something about being with you brings out the better side of me. I don’t want that to end, Lilly.”
The quiver she felt rushing through her body had nothing to do with being exhausted and everything to do with this man that was touching her as tenderly as a drop of dew on a rose petal.
“These past few days I’ve been trying not to think about you, Rafe. But to be honest, I’ve missed you.”
He didn’t make any sort of reply. Instead, he threaded his fingers into her hair, then bent his head toward hers. The second his lips angled over hers, the cautious side of her was screaming for her to step back and run from this man. But the lonely yearning inside her was much stronger and before she knew it, she was slipping her arms around his waist and opening her mouth to his eager kiss.
After that, she was totally and completely lost. His sensual scent swirled through her head and mingled with the taste of his mouth. Against her back, she could feel his hands drawing her closer and closer. Sweet, hot desire burst inside her and the onslaught had her desperately clutching his arms for support.
The kiss went on and on and probably would have continued if it hadn’t been for the sound of approaching voices. When their mouths finally tore apart, Lilly quickly stepped back to put a respectable distance between them. As she sucked long breaths of air into her starved lungs, she realized her lips were burning and so was the rest of her body.
Taking her by the hand, Rafe said in a low, husky voice, “Let’s go somewhere for coffee or something. Anywhere. Okay?”
As soon as she’d stepped into his arms, she’d crossed the line of no return. He understood that and so did she. The realization of what that meant sent a shiver of anticipation rippling through her. What did this man really want from her? And exactly what was she willing to give him? She didn’t know the answer to either of those questions. But she was certain of one thing: she wasn’t going to run and hide anymore.
“I�
�ve not eaten yet,” she told him. “Are you hungry?”
“Starved. Let’s go get that burger you wanted the other night,” he suggested.
“Green Lizard Bar and Grill is just two blocks down from here and it’s good. If that’s okay with you, I’ll follow you in my car,” she told him.
“I know where it is.” He planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll wait for you out front.”
Moments later, as Lilly drove her car a short distance behind Rafe’s truck, she realized her hands were trembling on the steering wheel and she had the strangest sensation of wanting to laugh and cry at the same time.
For years she’d believed she’d lost her ability to feel any sort of desire. She’d thought her chance to experience passion again had walked out the door with Grant. She’d believed her hopes and dreams had died when the baby she’d been carrying was lost to a miscarriage.
But now Rafe had created an explosion inside her. A wonderful explosion that she never wanted to end. The only thing she needed to worry about at this point was keeping her heart separated from the passion. Even if she did throw caution to the wind and go to bed with him, she would never let herself make the mistake of falling in love with him.
Chapter Four
Green Lizard was an old local establishment with a low-beamed ceiling, planked wooden floor and a long, polished bar equipped with swiveling stools. Behind the counter a bartender was polishing glasses while several customers watched a basketball game on a television hanging on a nearby wall.
As Rafe escorted Lilly to one of the small round tables on the opposite wall from the bar, he wondered if he was one big sap or one of the luckiest men in Nevada. The kiss she’d given him a few minutes ago had been full of promises, but he wasn’t sure what those promises had meant, or even if he wanted to be a part of them. He only knew that being with Lilly filled him with a mixture of contradicting emotions. And that was definitely something that Rafe had never experienced with a woman before.
After helping her into one of the wooden chairs, Rafe took a seat directly across from her and reached for one of the single-sheet menus propped between a napkin holder and a tall sugar shaker.
“Since you’re ignoring the menu, you must already know what you want to order,” he said. “Tell me what’s good.”
She smiled at him and though it was a genuine expression, he could see the exhaustion in her eyes and around her lips. The thought unexpectedly struck Rafe that he wanted to take her in his arms and soothe away her weariness, to hear her sigh with contentment and see the tension on her lovely face melt away.
“The cheeseburgers are delicious,” she told him. “I try to limit myself to one a week, but sometimes I slip and indulge myself with two.”
“I’d hardly call that overindulging.” He slipped the menu back in place. “Is this where the hospital staff gathers to eat or is it more of a watering hole to relax?”
“A few hit the bar after a long shift. Once in a while I’ll have a cocktail, but normally I’m just here for the food. The hospital cafeteria is okay as far as food goes, but after several days of it in a row I need a change of taste.”
As soon as Rafe had spotted her walking out of the building tonight, he’d noticed she wasn’t wearing her nurse’s uniform. Instead, she’d changed into close-fitting jeans and a pink buttoned blouse with sleeves that ended at her elbows. Somehow the casual clothes made her appear even sexier than she had the night they’d dined at the Sierra Chateau. Or maybe it was the softness in her eyes that made her more appealing, Rafe thought. Either way, the sight of her made it very difficult to keep his mind on anything more than kissing her again.
Trying to shake away that tempting image, he asked, “Exactly how long have you worked at Tahoe General?”
“Close to eight years. I was twenty when I first started as an LPN. Three years later, I went back to school and acquired my RN degree.”
At that moment a young waitress with a long blond ponytail arrived at their table with two glasses of ice water. After she’d taken their identical orders, Rafe rested his forearms on the tabletop and leaned slightly toward her.
“You look very tired,” he told her.
“I’m sorry. It’s been a long shift. For the past several hours I’ve only had a pair of five-minute breaks.”
“I wasn’t complaining, Lilly. I’m just wondering why you don’t work in a clinic? That’s meaningful work and the daytime hours would be more normal.”
“Yes, it’s meaningful. But I think I’d feel trapped.” She sipped from the short water glass. “It would be like asking you to keep yourself confined to the ranch yard and never go out on the range.”
A wry grin curved one corner of his lips. “I’d feel like a prisoner. I guess when a person is doing something they like the fatigue factor doesn’t matter.”
“Don’t get me wrong, Rafe. A nice, quiet shift is welcomed after an evening like this.” With a hand at the back of her neck, she rocked her head from one shoulder to the other. “So tell me about your work. Bart says spring branding is still going on. I can tell he’s missing being a part of it.”
Rafe grimaced. This was the first spring roundup that Rafe could ever remember his grandfather missing. It was like having breakfast without coffee. It could be done, but it wasn’t the same. For years Rafe had wished the old man would allow him to handle things on his own. He didn’t need Bart getting in the way or yelling out orders that only tended to get on the crew’s nerves. But now that Rafe had gotten his wish, he had to admit that he missed having his grandfather around.
“Yeah. Gramps has never missed roundup. I’m sure it’s driving him nuts. He’s always been the type to give orders and tell everyone how something should be done. He doesn’t think the ranch would survive without him.”
Her thoughtful gaze slowly slipped over his face and he wondered what Lilly really saw when she looked at him. Plenty of women had told him he was handsome, but that sort of thing meant nothing to Rafe. Broad shoulders or a strong jaw didn’t make a man.
“That’s not entirely a bad thing, Rafe. Believing that he’s needed is what keeps Bart going. It’s pushing him to get well and back on his feet.”
“You’re probably right about that, but—”
“Probably?” she interrupted. “I am right.”
“You’re only just now getting to know Bart. He can be demanding, controlling and has a temper that won’t quit.”
She leveled a meaningful smile at him. “He tells me that you’re a lot like him.”
He stared at her. “Gramps said that?”
“He did. You seem surprised.”
Rafe chuckled. “I’ve been accused of plenty of things before, but never being like my grandfather. I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. Bart is a polarizing figure. You either love or hate him.”
“I suspect your feelings for Bart aren’t so black or white.”
From the very first day he’d met this woman she’d seemed to understand him and he’d immediately known she wasn’t the sort he could charm or fool. He respected that about her, yet it jarred him to have anyone, especially a woman, able to read him so easily.
“My feelings for Gramps are hard to define. I love him. But—well, here comes our food. I’ll tell you about it later.”
The waitress arrived with the cheeseburgers and fries and for the next half hour the two concentrated on eating their meal. Once they’d finished, Rafe paid the ticket and they walked out to the street curb where their vehicles were parked.
“It’s still early for me,” Lilly said as Rafe escorted her to the door of her car. “Would you like to come by the house for coffee? I made the mistake of going to the supermarket while I was hungry and ended up buying a gallon of rocky-road ice cream. Someone besides me needs to eat it.”
Groaning, Rafe patted his midse
ction. “After all that food, I couldn’t eat another bite. But the coffee sounds nice. I’ll follow you there.”
On the short drive to Lilly’s house, Rafe was once again asking himself if he was following her down a dangerous trail or if he should be counting his lucky stars that she was being so warm and inviting.
You don’t have to go to her house, Rafe. If you’re that scared of the woman then ring her cell and tell her that something unexpected has come up at the ranch and you’re needed there.
Damn it, he wasn’t afraid of the woman. Rafe mentally argued with the voice in his head. He was just a whole lot confused, added to even more caution. The moment he’d first spotted her descending the staircase in his family home, he’d been mesmerized by her. His first thought back then had been to get a date with her. A date that would hopefully lead to a night of incredible sex. But nothing had turned out like he’d planned.
Normally, Rafe would have already dismissed a woman like Lilly from his roster of girlfriends. He didn’t have the time or inclination for serious. Now, the fact that he didn’t want to cut himself loose from her, that he wanted to court her in an honorable manner, had him mentally shaking his head.
But his confusion wasn’t enough to make him steer his truck toward the Silver Horn instead of Lilly’s house.
* * *
Up until five minutes ago, no man had ever been in Lilly’s kitchen. But Rafe had changed all that when he’d insisted on giving her a hand with making the coffee.
Before now, she’d always believed the room had plenty of working space, even with a little pine dining table taking up one whole corner. But Rafe seemed to fill the room. Everywhere she turned or stepped, he seemed to be there with his lazy grin and watchful gaze.
One Tall, Dusty Cowboy (Men of the West Book 29) Page 5