by Jordan Marie
23
Dancer
I let her sleep for a couple of hours, just listening to her breathe. I’m thankful. She’s giving me another chance. I’m not a fool, well about this at least. I know that Carrie not pushing me away is significant. It is huge. I make a vow to try and show Carrie how truly special she is to me. She is. I made a decision to go there with her and I don’t want to let her go. This shit with Dragon has messed with my head. I’m all kinds of fucked up. Yet, with Carrie here in my arms the only thing that feels out of control is the beat of my heart. I need a taste of her again. She has a way of making me forget the rest of the world exists and I need that right now. I need her. It’s selfish, but I really do.
I place light kisses along her collar bone that I’ve already traced with my fingers. The taste of her skin sinks inside of me and spreads through my bloodstream. She’s like a fever in my system. My teeth graze at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. I bite gently flicking my tongue over the spot a few seconds later.
“Jacob,” she moans and her voice further bridges over the holes in my soul that Dragon uncovered.
I kiss along the side of her face. Just small, slow presses of my lips along her hairline until I make it to her ear.
“God Carrie, you’re an addiction, baby.”
My hand slides under the waist band of her pajamas. The silk of her underwear slides against my fingers teasing me with the pleasure lying underneath. Her hips are rocking slowly, her legs moving restlessly.
“What do you want, baby?” I groan into her ear.
“You…always you,” she whispers and again it feels less raw inside. Just by her words, or maybe the fact that I know she means them. She craves me as much as I crave her.
I yank her underwear and pajamas roughly down those fucking sexy, long legs of hers. I figure I might have scared her, but instead she is busy pulling her shirt off. Something about seeing this woman as desperate for me as I am for her soothes the beast inside of me.
“Look at you, Care Bear. God I wish you could see what I see right now. So fucking beautiful and sweet you make my teeth ache. This is going to be fast baby, I’m sorry, but I have to have you. I need to be inside of you.”
“Yes, Jacob. Please,” she whispers her voice dark, husky and full of need.
I slide my fingers into her depths and I fucking sigh in relief when I find her ready, which is good, because I’m shaking. I don’t have the patience to get her there on my own. I am also a motherfucking genius for getting in bed without clothes, because if they had been in my way, I would have shredded them. I bend her legs at the knee and pull them apart, so she is completely open to me—so damned beautiful. I move my cock back and forth against her opening, making sure I tease her swollen clit.
“Carrie baby, look at me.”
Slowly those gorgeous emerald green eyes open, looking drugged and breathtaking. Plump, juicy red lips fall open in a gasp. I can see a faint glimpse of that perfect tongue. It calls to me.
“Give it to me baby, let me hear you say it.”
She searches my face, the room is quiet except for our harsh breathing.
“I love you, Jacob.”
My heart stalls, before picking up speed. I wanted to hear Carrie ask for my cock. That’s what I was asking for—not this. Never this. These words… these words fill me with fear. Holy hell. At the same time, a feeling of power surges in me. I’ll try to figure it out later, right now I have to have her, I need her.
I plunge inside her depths, without further warning. She’s so damned tight. I try not to go to deep, but her hips thrust up and I sink all the way in. I stop moving, afraid I’ve hurt her. I look down at her face for signs of distress. Instead, I find something out of a dream. Her face is thrown back in pleasure and I could drown in the inky depths of her eyes.
“Wrap your legs around me, Care Bear. Wrap them tight.”
She nods her head and does as I ask. I didn’t it was possible, but I manage to go deeper. So deep, I’m bottomed out completely inside of her. Never has anything felt this perfect, this right. I know she feels it too, because she moans in reaction.
She has kept her hands wrapped up in the sheet on the bed till this point. I grieve silently. I would love to have her touch on me, but I’m glad she seems to have accepted my rules. I can’t take the risk of flashbacks, especially with the memories so close to the surface right now.
I resent the fact I continue to think of this shit, when I am inside my own personal heaven. I hate that these thoughts intrude on the one clean and beautiful thing I’ve had in my life. I settle over her, bracing myself on one arm, the other tangling in her hair and pulling her lips the small distance to mine.
“Say it,” I order against her lips. I don’t know why, but I need to hear it again.
“I love you, Jacob,” she complies as one of her hands touches the side of my face.
I bite down the order for her to keep her hands down. I can handle this. I can. She loves me, this is different. As long as her touch stays on my face, I’ll manage, I just need this. I need this moment. My tongue slides into her mouth and I drink in her words, I drink them down deep.
I can feel my balls tighten with my approaching climax, way too soon. I let go of the hold I have on her hair and tease her clit so she can go with me. It doesn’t take long and I’m thankful. My mouth captures her release. She convulses on my cock, pulling me over the edge with her. I come so hard, I feel light headed.
I grab her ass and pull her tight against me as I fall over on my back. I keep my cock buried deep inside of her, while letting her rest on top of me. When she goes to move off of me, I refuse to let her. She settles against me and places a kiss on the side of my neck. I let my fingers slide along the smooth, soft, skin of her back. She holds me close and her hands feel good. I close my eyes and breathe her in. For the space of this minute, I let myself pretend I am different. That the feel of someone else’s hands on me is normal and I can enjoy it without fear of the darkness.
“I need to get off,” Carrie breathes against my skin her voice sounding exhausted.
“I thought you just did.”
I feel her lips spread in a smile against my neck and I like it. I give her too much pain. I like giving her a smile. I want to give her more.
“Get off of you so we can sleep.”
“Shh…rest Care Bear, I like you right where you are.”
It scares me to admit this, but I give it to her. I give it and ignore the fear.
“I like it too. Goodnight, Jacob. I love you”
“Goodnight, Care.” I want to say it back to her. I want to tell her I love her. This time the fear wins and I stay silent.
It takes a few minutes before her breathing evens out. I wish with everything in me that I could join her. I don’t. I can’t take that risk. I’m okay with staying awake and holding her though. This may be the single, best thing I’ve felt in my life, so I will savor it and pretend this is my normal. A new normal that I crave, but will never have.
24
Carrie
I’m alone in the bed. It’s kind of sad. Jacob woke me up once more in the night. I still didn’t get to touch him like I wanted, but it was amazing. I can’t deny it, I was scared of the morning light, because last night was the single most perfect night of my life. Well, at least after Jacob got in bed with me. I stretch, my body is sore and well used. The house is quiet, which is odd. Since I’ve made the move to Kentucky, I don’t think Dragon and his men have ever left me alone. I shrug it off. I’m sure he’s around somewhere.
I sigh and get up. I’m hungry, so I’m going to have to get my butt moving. I take a quick shower, braiding my wet hair when I get out. It’s easier than worrying about blow-drying and fixing it. I don’t bother with makeup, because food seems more important right now. I’m starved.
I walk into the living room, expecting to see Jacob asleep on the couch or something, but the room is empty. I try not to let fear grab me. It’s silly. Before
my parents died I never worried. Living like I have, has made me see shadows where there are none. I go into the kitchen. It’s a little after eleven, but surely that’s not too late for breakfast. I’ll make extra in case Alexander is still here, and him and Jacob are both hungry.
I scramble some eggs, fry bacon and make toast and still…nothing. I figured the smell of food would get their attention. I go outside and look around and there’s no one there. The Tahoe is missing too. I look around one last time and go back inside. I’m a little disappointed that Jacob didn’t tell me he was leaving, but I suck it up. He gave me more than I was expecting last night. I have to go with that.
“Rome wasn’t built in a day,” I laugh at myself, opening the door to go back into the kitchen.
“Do you always talk to yourself?” I jerk, looking towards the voice. Sitting at the table is a slightly over-weight man with dull, brown hair that has gray weaved throughout. He’s sitting calmly at the table, facing the door. He’s eating out of the plate I had put down for Jacob, like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
I hold onto the door and try to still the beating of my heart. I don’t know who he is, but the mere fact that he has shown up the way he has is not a good thing. I look at him and then towards the front door, wondering if I should take off running.
“I wouldn’t try that. You can’t see it, but there’s a gun in my lap and I’ll shoot you before you make it outside and besides my man would stop you as soon as you crossed the threshold.”
I turn at his words and notice the big, ugly man staring at me, with this leering look that immediately makes my stomach revolt. I fight to keep the bile from rising. The guy comes in and locks the door behind him.
Yeah okay. Now what?
“Come on in Sugar, let’s have some of this breakfast you took the time to fix. I do love a woman who knows her way around the kitchen.”
I don’t want to, like I really don’t want to? Still, I don’t have a choice.
I swallow trying to figure out what to do here, Jacob will be back, I just have to bide my time. Plus, Bull once told me that this whole house was monitored heavily. The cavalry will come, I just need to stall. Heck fire, I have rotten luck.
I take a few steps to the kitchen, but I don’t go all the way. That’s when he holds up the gun and uses it to motion me into a seat across from him.
I sit down, by that time I have to—my legs feel like jelly.
“Bacon?” He asks, still using the gun to motion. I grab a piece, because I don’t know how he’d react if I turn him down.
He stares at me, waiting. I take a bite of the bacon. It tastes like sawdust, but that seems to make him happy, because he places the gun back on the table beside him.
“Tell me Carolina, do you know who I am?”
“No,” I have a good idea, but I don’t say it. The fact is that he uses a name that I haven’t heard since I was old enough to demand no one use it, doesn’t exactly fill me with happiness. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know this is the man who killed my parents. I know it. He knows I know, but saying no seems like the best option right now.
“Carolina, I’m so disappointed. I thought you were smarter than that,” he says calmly taking another bite of food.
“Boss, we don’t have time for this shit. You promised you’d pay me as soon as you got your hands on this bitch. We need to get out of here before those damn bikers show up. I didn’t agree to this damn shit, to get my ass killed,” the thug still standing by the door states. He looks antsy. He keeps looking out the window by the door and everything about him screams fear. While this is good, I figure it could also be bad. Having someone with a gun, who is operating on fear and adrenaline, doesn’t sound like a good thing.
“Did you make sure we won’t be disturbed?”
“I put the idiot out of commission. He never knew what hit him.”
“Excellent. “Now my dear,” he says putting his fork down. “Let’s try this again. Do you know who I am?”
“Not really, no,” I answer, worried they’ve hurt Jacob. Where is the damn cavalry? As for the asshole in front of me, up until this point he has only ever been a shadow to me. I’ve never seen a face. I’ve heard Dragon and Alexander refer to him before, but right now I must be too far into panic mode, because I can’t even remember the name.
“Boss, damn it! You know this place is under surveillance, even if Shorty did disable the actual alarms before he left. We have to get out of here.”
“In due time.”
“Due time nothing. If you want to be stupid, fine. Give me my money and you can stay here if you want. I’m not staying to be target practice for the Savage boys.”
The man at the table lets off a fake sigh, which is overly loud and heavy. He picks up the gun and aims it at me.
My body instantly breaks out in a cold sweat. I never thought about dying. How strange is that? Even with all the close calls I’ve had? Even with the way I lost my parents, I’ve been stupid and never gave myself time to think about dying. I pushed it all to the back of my mind. When there is a gun pointed at you, staring you straight in the face, there is no denying it. There just isn’t. When I die, will anyone miss me? Will anyone mourn me? There’s so much more I wanted in life. I’ll never have that now. I’ll never get another minute with Jacob. I’ll never be able to try to help him further. I’ll never have his lips on mine again. I’ll never feel his hands touch me. Just the thought of never having that hurts physically.
I hear the click of the hammer from the gun and I figure that’s it. I can’t stop the tears that fall. I wait for the shot. The bacon in my hand drops to the table, my eyes on those of my killer.
I watch as his finger presses against the trigger, as if it is in slow motion. At the last second he moves the gun up and to the right. I can feel the breeze of a bullet as it whizzes past me. I jump and scream at the sound of the blast. My ears ring so loud, I can barely hear the laughter of the madman. His face is blurry from the tears in my eyes and they only increase with the near death experience I’ve just survived. I take the back of my hand and try to wipe away the tears. I’m mad they are there, but I can’t stop them. I turn to see that he has shot the man behind me. The man falls immediately, his white t-shirt becomes soaked with blood. It’s so dark, thick and horrific that I can’t seem to look away. When I finally do, it is to see hollow eyes staring back at me. Dead. I knew he would be, but something about those eyes, so lifeless and stark, seems wrong.
“That was such fun, but alas a gun is not to be your end, Sugar.” He tells me once he stops his laughter. He tosses me a napkin from the table and I pick it up, trying to dry my eyes.
I hate crying in front of him. I hate that my hands are shaking even more, because I know he is enjoying that. I take a breath. Jacob will save me. I try to ignore the coppery odor of blood and death that have invaded the room. I go back to my original plan. I have to give Jacob enough time to rescue me. I know he will, I just have to keep this monster talking and delay whatever plan he has.
“Jacob will be back any minute. You won’t get away with this.”
“Oh but I will. He left you in the care of another to run errands for his boss. I hope he does come back soon though. To be honest I’m actually waiting on him. I just needed to make sure I had you first to hold over him.”
“Why would you…”
My voice freezes as he moves his jacket to the side and reveals a bomb. Well, I’m pretty sure it is. It looks weird compared to the way they are portrayed in the movies, but there is a small digital timer counting backwards on it. It looks like a stop watch. There are no glowing large numbers counting down my doom. No, these numbers are small and hard to see because of my tears. I strain to see. I have just a little over sixteen minutes.
“Why?” I ask again. “Why would you do this? What am I to you?”
“To me nothing, but you mean something to Mr. Blake. You mean something to him and he took away everything from me. Killing you is n
ot the complete revenge I wished for,” he pauses, seems to think it over, and shrugs. “That damn club has frozen my assets and I have nothing. That’s just another reason I had to kill my friend over there. Thanks to the Savage Brothers I couldn’t pay anyone, even if I wanted to. No, that damn club has me by the balls. I know it’s just a matter of time before they find me. I’m a marked man. I figure if I’m going to die, I shall get revenge for my son’s death in the bargain. So you see dear Carolina, you’re all mine. Whatever shall we do?”
25
Dancer
Six came by to pick me up on his way into work at Pussy’s. I left Crusher in charge of Carrie.
Carrie. Just her name makes things better. I hated leaving her, even temporarily. I came close to waking her up, but I hadn’t let her sleep much last night. That thought makes a smile spread on my face. Last night was near perfect. The only thing that marred the perfection was that I hadn’t slept. I am dragging ass, but I can’t take the chance of having a nightmare and talking in my sleep like I did with Dragon. I don’t know how to tackle this problem. Never sleeping is not a long term solution. Maybe I can have one of the boys watch Carrie through the day and nap at the club in my old room? The thought doesn’t make me happy, but I don’t know any other way to do it.
Six pulls into the parking lot and we say our goodbyes. I don’t know the man that well. I like him well enough I guess. It’s kind of screwed up, but I miss Irish. Part of me is glad I wasn’t around when shit went down. I don’t know how Dragon handled having to end a brother, someone we had fought beside and bled with. Irish and his betrayal is a dark cloud over the club, even now.
I get on my bike, ready to head back to the house. Maybe I can talk Carrie into getting away for the day with me. I like having her on the back of my bike. It still bugs me that she’s been on the back of Bull’s. A man is careful about who he lets on his ride. The club has pretty much adopted Carrie, but the fact that Bull cares for her puts another spin on it. I can’t help it, I do not like it. Carrie is mine. Last night cemented that. I can keep her happy. I just have to be careful about what I let her see. I don’t know how to hide some shit from her, but I’ll figure it out as I go along.