by Jordan Marie
“Anything you want to tell me, Mama?”
“Should there be?” she asks, curling into my side, and burying her face into my shoulder. I can feel the moisture against my skin.
Something is bothering her and tearing her up. I need to fix it. I can’t if she doesn’t let me in. My hand curls into her hair holding her close. What did this? What brought us to the point where she’s not trusting me? Was it something I did? Didn’t do?
“You need to talk to me, Nicole. I know you have something going on. Talk to me about it so I can help.”
“I think Dani’s going to leave,” she whispers.
A big part of me is pissed the fuck off that the woman is causing problems for my girl. I can’t lie, there’s even another part of me that is happy to see her leave. Still, if her leaving is what is wrong with Nicole, I need to try and stop that. I want my woman happy.
“Why?”
“She…she feels it’d be better for her to start over somewhere else. She…she feels guilty over…,” she pauses as if trying to pick her words out carefully. “…She feels guilty over the choices she made.”
I kiss the top of Nicole’s head.
“Would it help if I talked to her?”
“No. I think it’s probably for the best.”
“She’ll be here for the wedding baby, and you can still keep in touch with her,” I say trying to make her feel better, and figuring I’m failing when her tears fall harder against my neck.
“No. She’ll be leaving before the wedding.”
“Who’s leaving?”
I look up to give Crusher a pissed off glare, but he ignores it—like usual. Instead he sits down across from me and Nic.
“Have a seat,” I grumble with sarcasm, which is completely lost on Crusher.
He flips me off and takes a swig of his beer. “So, who’s leaving?”
“Dani,” I tell him, holding Nic closer.
He looks at me, and I can tell the news upsets him. He is not a happy motherfucker. I don’t like it, for numerous reasons. Maybe it is good that Dani is leaving.
“Gonna take my woman to bed,” I grumble, and stand up with Nicole still in my arms, one arm under her legs, and my other arm around her upper body. She used to complain when I carted her around. She’s given that up, thank fuck. I guess she realized it won’t do her a bit of good, I love having her in my arms.
“Good enough. See ya’ tomorrow, Boss-man.”
I grunt my reply.
I lay Nicole on our bed, then go back and lock the door, returning to hold her close. I listen to her crying in the dark, letting her get it out of her system.
“Mama, is there something more going on with Dani?”
There’s no immediate reply so I let the silence stretch out farther.
“Mama…”
“Dragon, she’s leaving. Can’t we just let it go at that? If she was staying, then maybe it would matter.”
“I can help her…”
“I’m just going to miss her. She’ll be safe.”
Safe. That word punches me in the gut. I should question her farther, I should demand more information. I do neither of those. Maybe I’m just fucking tired of all the shit that’s been coming at my family. I don’t fucking know. So, I don’t question it. I put my hand over my woman’s stomach, feeling my son kick, and just remain quiet. It doesn’t take long, twenty minutes at the most, and my woman is sleeping. Her breathing evens out, she’s got this cute little whistle that couldn’t be called a snore, and she curls into me.
I carefully get my pillow and pad it gently to her side so she can hug it, then I get up. I’m not sleeping, not with all this shit in my head. I leave the room with one last glance at my woman. I’m upset with her. Fuck yeah, I am. She should trust me enough to talk to me. I can’t make her—which means I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.
“Hey Drag, you’re stirring late,” Dancer says, as I make it to the main entrance of the club.
“Yeah. What are you doing here?” I ask, because it’s not a secret that Dancer hates being around the club. Brother is doing better, but he still can’t handle large crowds. The times I’ve seen him with them, he keeps Red close.
“Carrie was craving some of Nicole’s homemade strawberry dip. So, she begged until I brought her ass here to raid the Club’s fridge. So late now, I figure we’ll stay here and go home in the morning.”
“We’ve become pussy-whipped brother, wrapped around the fingers of two women. Never thought I’d fucking see the day.”
Dance shrugs, “Can’t answer for you, but no fucking place I’d rather be. It sure as hell is more than I deserve.”
I nod, I can’t argue. I feel the same.
“Glad to see you and Red are working through shit.”
For a minute his eyes take on a glazed haunted look, but it’s gone so quick, I almost miss it.
“What’s up with you anyway? Hardly ever see you around, once Nicole goes to bed.”
“That’s because her body is a hell of a lot nicer to be around than your ugly ass, but fuck, you’re never here, so what do you know?”
“Point made. Still?” he says, motioning with his drink.
I look at him; he’s not drinking alcohol. Brother is drinking a damn Coke out of a can. He hasn’t touched a drop since he got his woman back. He wasn’t an alcoholic, but he said it was too tempting to lose himself in the bottle. He said it was much more enjoyable to lose himself in his woman. I have to agree, but I’m pouring myself a shot of Jack. Dance moves over, and I stare at the drink I just poured.
“Some kind of shit is going down with Nic’s girl, Dani.”
“Fuck a duck.”
“That about sums it up.”
“Bad? Should I take Carrie and Nicole out of here?”
“Nah, at least I don’t think so. Nicole would tell me if it was that serious. I get the feeling it might be some ex-boyfriend.”
“Damn, that girl is fucked in the head when it comes to that shit.”
“Apparently.”
“Drag? You think it’s cool?” he asks, putting his empty can on the bar.
My finger is moving over the rim of my glass. Every part of me wants to say fuck no. At the same time, I know if Nicole knew something would endanger the club then she’d tell me. I trust my woman.
“Drag?” he asks standing up.
I down my drink and drop it on the bar.
“Yeah man, I’m sure.”
“Sure about what?” Red asks, coming out of the kitchen.
“Hey Red, you’re looking good.”
“Hey Dragon,” she says in her quiet voice. She goes immediately to Dancer’s side and curls into him. Dancer’s hand comes automatically over her shoulder and he kisses the top of her head. “Sure about what?”
“Nothing, Care Bear. Just asking Dragon if he needed my help with something.”
“I don’t, but if it changes, I’ll hit you up.”
Dance nods.
“You want to go home or stay here?”
Red holds up her container of dip that she got from the fridge, “Let’s go home.”
“Got what you came for?” Dance asks, smiling down at her, and it feels good to see my brother happy.
“Oh yeah,” Red says.
“What do you plan on eating that with? We don’t have any strawberries in the house.”
She looks up at him and blushes a darker red than her hair. Dance throws his head back and laughs. He laughs. Shit, I still find that unreal.
“Care Bear, one of these days you are so going to tell me what I want to hear without blushing.”
“Jacob, hush,” she mumbles as he takes her in his arms and hugs her. She peeks over his arm at me, and I just shake my head.
“Catch you two on the flip side.”
“You got it, brother,” Dance says, as they turn to leave.
“Take it easy on my brother Red, he’s an old man you know.”
“Fuck off, Dragon,” he bar
ks, giving me the one-fingered salute.
I laugh. I’m glad to see my brother doing so much better. We still have to get revenge for him. He asked me to hold up. He wants to do it himself, but says he’s not ready. I’ve not pushed it. Seems I have enough fires to put out.
Once they leave, I lock the doors. Anyone else wants in, they have keys. I’m starting to feel that burning in my gut all the time now. Fuck, I hope Nicole isn’t holding out on me.
8
Nicole
“When are you leaving?” I ask Dani. It’s the next day, and we’re sitting at one of the picnic tables outside the club compound.
It’s a gorgeous summer day, and with fall approaching soon, I want to enjoy it. My hand absently strokes my stomach. I do it a lot, but more so lately. Dani and I have a complex relationship, but it is close in ways only the two of us will ever understand. We’ve been through hell together. When I needed a friend, and had no one, Dani was there. When she was actually trapped in hell, I helped to bring her out. Our secrets, our sadness bonded us together. So, the thought of bringing little Dragon into this world and not having Dani there to hold my hand, to be with me…it kills me. I can’t tell her that, but I know she feels it. I know that she is terrified to leave. I also know she doesn’t have a choice now, and that sucks. I hate Michael Kavanagh, despise him. I’d like to cut off his balls and deep fry… No, I want to deep fry his balls while they were still attached, then cut them off and feed them to him. That’d be infinitely better.
“Not sure. Soon though. Definitely way before my supposed meeting with the hubby.”
“Good plan. Hey, at least we got warning and he just didn’t swoop in and grab us,” I answer, trying to make light of it. I actually am surprised he didn’t take Dani forcibly, before we had some heads up.
“It’s his way. He likes to be dramatic and bigger than life.”
“Yeah, well.”
“I know…,” she says sadly, looking up at the sky. “I’m going to miss Kentucky. When you suggested I move here to hideout I thought you were insane, but I’ve loved every minute of it. Hell, even Ray likes it.”
“Will he be going with you?”
“No, he’s settled here. He’s actually met someone. My visit with him was an eye opener. I’d never seen him so happy.”
“That’s good, but I don’t want you to be alone. Maybe we should tell Dragon and face this head on. I know…”
“Not going to happen, Nic. I’ve thought about it and this is the best for all concerned. Once I’m gone, Michael will leave you guys alone, most notably you.”
“Dani…”
She reaches over, grabs my hand and looks me in the eyes. I can see the moisture there, and the deep sadness. It hurts me. I wrap my hands around hers and squeeze tight.
“One of the best things that happened to me was meeting you at Three Oaks Academy.”
“Dani…”
“I mean it, Nic. When you decided to bail out of that school and tell your parents to suck it, I was so in awe of you. I wanted that kind of courage. You’ve always seen me as the strong one, but it’s you…it’s always been you.”
I swallow, but the words I want to use to respond are frozen in my throat. Clogged up with emotion so deep, I’m afraid to let it out. I forget, years of living our lie has made it an alternate reality, and I just go with it. It’s completely untrue, this history I allow Dragon and everyone to believe. My history with Dani is much more twisted and confusing. I didn’t meet Dani in Kentucky, we didn’t grow up together. We didn’t go to school together, unless you count the month in hell my parents made me try out TOA (Three Oaks Academy), husband shopping. None of my carefully laid past is true, save one. Dani has and always will be my best friend, and a person who owns a large part of my heart.
“Dani, you’re strong, most women would have never survived what you did.”
“It was weak to ask you for help. It was weak to drag Ray into it.”
“No, it wasn’t. Family means being there for each other. If you don’t tell Ray that you’re leaving, you will hurt him.”
“Ray broke me out of the prison I was in. He put his life on the line to get me out of New York. He helped me set up a new identity and kept me safe. I think Ray has done enough.”
“He won’t see it like that.”
Dani shrugs, “He won’t know.”
“Damn it, Dani.”
“Just let it go Nic, it’s time I stand on my own. There’s no choice really. You have Dragon and little Dragon to think of. Ray has his new boyfriend and a settled life in Kentucky. I can’t stay here. You know what will happen if I do.”
“I…Will I hear from you again?”
“I’ll get a message to you somehow—when I know it’s safe.”
I nod. I’m not happy, but I know it’s all I will get.
“What about money?”
“I still have all that money Ray and I took out of Michael’s wall-safe, so I’m pretty much set for life. I just don’t like touching it. I’ll use it to get relocated and buy some new documents. I’ll be fine.”
“I want to be able to send you pictures of the baby…”
“We’ll figure it out. I want to see little Dragon, too.
“I know your mind is made up, but I wish you’d let me get Dragon involved.”
“You’re starting to sound like a broken record,” Dani says and I want to argue further, but I hear the door open behind me. I look up and see Crusher coming out of the main entrance. I can’t help but notice the way he’s looking at Dani; his eyes never leave her. I doubt he even notices I’m sitting here.
“Please tell me you didn’t go there, Dani.”
“Go where?” she asks, acting like she’s clueless. She’s sitting sideways on the bench facing me, but she keeps looking to her side at Crusher.
“Crusher?” I prompt.
“I had an itch.”
“They make shit for that, it’s called flea spray.”
She looks up at me and for a second, a small space in time, I see my old friend, the one I met years ago, when I tried to do as my parents insisted. Then with a flash, she is gone. It happens sometimes, I see her the girl I loved and who loved me—freely. The girl who had yet to be chewed up and spit out by the world. God, I miss her.
“This was more fun.”
“He’s not one of your boy toys, Dani. Crusher might seem laid back and easy going, but…”
“Spare me Nic, at this point, I think it’s safe to say I’m more familiar with Crusher than you are.”
“And you’re still going to do this?”
“Tonight, anyway.”
“Dani…”
“My vibrator batteries are dead, sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do.” With that, she walks off towards Crusher.
I do not see good things coming from this, but I’m too damn worried about everything else to think about it for now.
9
Dragon
This has to be one of the best ideas I’ve had. I watch as my woman and Red are lying on lounge chairs looking over the lake. I decided it was time to get the family together. We’re having a big picnic and bonfire at the Twin Rocks picnic shelter and camping area, overlooking Laurel Lake. Red and Nicole are resting, the men are scattered around talking to a couple of the Twinkies that came, or shooting the breeze with each other. Dance and I are manning the grill. Heck, even Bull came. He’s kind of quiet and off to himself still, but I saw Frog and Hawk go over to join him. It’s a perfect, relaxing day. The only thing I’m finding troubling is the way Crusher and Dani are sitting in the sand talking to each other. You’d be stupid not to see what’s going on.
I know it’s because of everything that went down with Nicole and her getting shot. I should let it go like my woman asked, but I can’t. I almost lost Nicole. Maybe it is unfair, but there-the-fuck-it-is. I look at Dani, and I feel anger. So, I’m not exactly filled with good vibes watching my brother fall for her.
“That looks l
ike trouble,” Dance says, echoing my thoughts.
“Pretty much,” I agree, taking a sip of my beer.
“Carrie says Dani’s leaving?”
“Yeah.”
“Think it has to do with the shit Freak found on the tapes?”
“Probably, fuck if I know. Neither her nor Nicole are talking.”
“Should we step in?”
“Who the hell knows? I…”
Where once the area was filled with talking and laughter, now there’s screaming as gunfire erupts around us. Dancer and I take off running at the same time to cover our women. I see out of the corner of my eye that Crusher is doing the same with Dani. I’m useless in helping the other members scramble. I pull Nicole off the chair, trying to be gentle. I flip the chair to its side. It won’t stop a bullet, but it might mess up the aim of the shooter. I keep my woman covered as much as I can, even though she’s begging me to protect myself. Fucking woman has zero survival skills when it comes to taking care of her own hide.
As quick as the gunfire begins, it stops when Freak and the other brothers start firing back. I look over the top of the chair, trying to get my bearings. I focus on an old black Ford truck peeling out of the parking lot.
“Hold up!” I shout. Slowly the brothers stop shooting. “Follow those fuckers. If they get away I’m going to make sure heads roll!” I stand, helping Nicole to her feet. “Mama, I’m going to go find out who the fuck that was. Are you okay? The baby?”
“We’re fine, Dragon,” she whispers shakily, the side of her face covered with sand and there are tears in her eyes. I bend down and kiss her hard, taking her taste inside of me, because I need it. She’s my air. The reason I live.
“Bull, protect the women and get them back to the compound.”
“Yeah, alright Drag,” Bull says, but something in his tone grabs me. I don’t have time to address it. “Dance, Crush, you’re with me.”
I’m fucking tired. It’s been hours. We followed the fuckers and found the truck abandoned at the base of one of the hiking trails through the Daniel Boone National Forest. Crush and I managed to grab one of the fuckers, but the other one or two (I can’t even be sure how fucking many there were) managed to get away.